


The Survivor

by Springbliss



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Humor, Drama & Romance, F/M, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Trespasser
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-18 11:57:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 95,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10616439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Springbliss/pseuds/Springbliss
Summary: Fen'Harel won. The Veil was torn down. Lavellan however, would not accept this. With a reconstructed amulet, Lavellan is thrown back into a world she finds that is not her own. Another Inquisitor and she is not quite herself anymore.





	1. Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing. But let's see where this goes. I apologize for any mistakes. This is my first time taking a dive into something like this.

When Ellana stirred, she was overjoyed to the point of tears to see Cassandra hovering over her with a scowl. Lavallen expected Cassandra to take her by the hand and question her, but much to her surprise Cassandra did no such thing. Instead, another figure appeared behind her. One she could honestly say she did not know of. This person was an Elf. Tall had long curled brown hair that ran down the right side of his chest, and worn Vallaslin that represented Mythal. What caught her eye the most was that his right hand glowed a familiar eerie green. 

_"The Anchor?"_ Ellana questioned with a sudden snap, "Why do you have it?" The male proceeded to follow her gaze. A brow quirked up in surprise and then he glanced at her with astonishment.  
"You know what this is?" Ellana held back a laugh. Of course, she knew what it was. The mark caused her more nightmares then favors. Hell it even cost her--Ellena glanced down at her left hand in an instant to find the green humming glow on her hand as well. She let out a breath of relief. She also carried the mark as well. At least she wasn't completely out of the loop. 

But where was she? It looked to be some sort of cottage. A memory clicked inside her brain and Ellana remembered. This is where that woman greeted her when she first woke up in Haven after stopping the Breach from growing. How odd that she was here of all places. 

"Mahanon, what shall we do with her?" Cassandra asked, "She's resisting."  
"I am not resisting," Ellana replied somewhat annoyed as she wiped away her tears. "I was just thinking."  
"Then answer the question, Trevelyan. What is," Cassandra squinted her eyes, _"the Anchor?"_

Ellena sighed.

"The Anchor is used to permanently seal tears in the Veil from Fade rifts to the Breach itself. It is the green mark that the two of us carry. Why he has it - I have no idea. I have it because I'm incredibly unlucky." With this Mahanon seemed to smile.  
"It seems we share a similar trait." Cassandra growled, "I'm going to get Solas, this is ridiculous. Perhaps our fade expert can shed some light on this situation."  
"Wait!" Ellena cried out causing the warrior to stop in her tracks. Cassandra looked over at the woman with a raised brow. 

Lavallan wasn't sure if now was the best time to tell them that Fen'harel walked among them. But instead decided to go with the next best thing that irked her. "You called me Trevelyan, why is that?" It was then that Cassandra wore a smug smirk.  
"I know who you are. I know that you were sent to the Chantry conclave to aid your family in putting an end to the Templar-Mage War. We have Josephine to thank for that information. Don't think for a moment that your family name can save you from your crimes. People are dead. People are dying, and I'll be damned to let someone like you walk around freely -- _abomination._ " With that Cassandra turned heel and was out the door with a slam, Ellena winced, and Mahanon besides her laughed.

"Don't worry she's like that with everyone. Cassandra's not a bad person. Just a little paranoid about mages."  
"You're not a mage?"  
"No. I've never had any affinity with it."  
"Odd."  
"What is?" He inquired, and she could only knit her brows in response. "So I think introductions are in order. I'm Mahannon, a Dalish hunter and you are--" Ellena groaned at him and he decided to finish it off for her. "You are Evelyn Traveleyn mage extraordinaire?"  
"No." Lavellan gritted out.  
"No? Then who are you?" Lavellan rolled her eyes at him, but decided to play along.  
"I am--" She paused when the words wouldn't come out. In fact, it was at that moment that she realized her voice didn't sound all that right. She looked up at him with a fearful expression. "Do I have Vallaslin still?" Mahanon tilted his head in confusion.  
"What do you mean?" She looked at him like he was an idiot. Did he not know what those marks on his face were? Was he sane?  
"Vallaslin." She said pointing to his face.  
"I know what it means." He replied clearly annoyed, albit insulted by her words. Ellana felt her lips twich into a scowl, and he clarified his own irritation since she was so difficult. "I just can't fathom why a shem would have Vallaslin."

It was then that she stilled, face draining of any color that it had left. "Hey, are you alright?" Mahanon called, placing a hand on her shoulder, and Ellana found it difficult to breathe. 

He called out her name, she was sure of it.  
_But was it the right one?_  
Just who was she?  


Ellana coughed and stared at her hands.

 _Blood?_  
_Was she ill?_  
She felt Mahanon reel away at the sight, and Ellena was sure she heard him yell out Solas's name. The door to the cottage ripped open as Mahannon took off to call for help. 

Which was good.  
She certainly needed it.  
Her vision was blurring, and she was positively sure in any minute she would surely give out.

"I am Evelyn." She announced to no one in particular. She did not know why it brought her no joy to say it. The information coming to her as if it had always been.  
She was a circle mage, fleeing, and somehow was brought here after the conclave exploded. She had no one, her family cast her aside. "I am Traveleyn." She breathed out cooly. "Not my world. This is not my world. " _Something went wrong._ She was sure of it. 

She looked up to see Solas standing in the door way and her gaze hardened.  
**"Ma vhenan."**


	2. Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Introductions, very tricky. I have no idea where I'm going with this but meh, its funny so why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mistakes.

It was a mistake coming back.  
Her first day back on the job and she was already being treated as a child again. As if being a human wasn't bad enough, now she had to be careful with her words.  
No elvish for starters.  
_Fenedhis,_ better get it out of her system.  
This is the worst. 

“Aside from the obvious quirks. Everything seems to be an order.” Solas announced after he was done examining her.  
Rather simply done playing with her mark.  
Two Anchors!  
Yes, he must have been quite marveled.  
Hardly couldn't keep his hands off her.

Cassandra had been called away to speak with Chancellor Roderick but she said she expected to hear from Solas once she was done. There would be much to discuss. Perhaps instead of one scouting team, maybe two once they acquired more able bodies. Ellana was pleased with this. If she could go out on her own without worrying about Mahanon affecting her decision making then perhaps there was some hope to this world after all. 

“Are you sure?” Mahanon asked, his hands now crossed over his chest as he studied her. Ellana could only groan in response. He was going to be trouble. Is trouble rather.  
“I'm fine, I-I just had a moment.” They were both staring at her oddly now. _Fenedhis last,_ Ellana cleared her throat. “A couple of them.” Solas's brow rose, glanced at Mahanon who in turned explained what transpired between the two of them moments ago.  
“She asked if she had Vallaslin.” 

"She what!" Solas exclaimed and then both eyes were on her again as if she had broken some kind of sacred rule. Ellana rubbed the bridge of her nose in response.  
If she only hadn't opened her mouth and called him, _her heart._ Perhaps this would have gone smoother. But gods did she hate him.  
_Her_ Solas knew that if she called him, ma vhenan, that it was indeed an insult. He could never be her heart again after what he had done.

_'Ir abelas, ma vhenan. Mala suledin nadas.'_  
_'Ma serannas, ma vhenan._

To see him again- after everything- she wanted to vomit. “Why?” Solas asked, and she felt heat rise to her cheeks as she spun an excuse inside her head. _Fenedhis._ There was no going back. She was too far deep in and decided to just run with it. Like Sera once said, 'Bullshit through everything.' 

“I sometimes dream I'm an elf.” She blurted out, coughing a bit when the heat continued to rise, “I just got caught up in the role I guess.” They both regarded her like she was insane. A child. _What would Sera say?_ “What have none of you dreamed to be something else?” Silence even so. “No? Well fine but in my dreams, I just happened to be a Vallaslin faced Dalish elf. Deal with it."

Finally there was laughter. Mahanon, was it? He had pulled his head back and was laughing at her tale. Left hand on his head as his right waved her off as the village idiot.

Good. She could work with that. Another Sera in the company. Speaking of Sera, she really needed to go recruit her. Her presence was much needed right now.  
Unfortunately, the Dread Wolf would not wave her off as she had hoped. No, he stood his ground much to her annoyance.  
Never could just leave it be.

“So tell me, Trevelyan, what pray tell is this Dalish elf's name that you dream yourself to be?” Solas questioned with newfound amusement.  
_Fenedhis._  
He was enjoying her reddened cheeks. She assumed. Apparently making people feel like fools was a gift of his.  
“I'll tell you when I remember.” She answered truthfully. “Or better yet why don't you come into my fade dreams and I'll show you sometime?” She added with a hint of sultry. Another bellow of laughter erupted much to Solas stunned silence.  
“Better watch out Solas...She obviously has a thing for us elves.”  
“I studied Elves." Ellana quipped as she turned her attention towards Mahanon. "When you're trapped in a circle for most of your life and all you can do is read, you pick up on a couple of things. So yes, Elves intrigue me among other things."  
"No, I'd rather not," Solas replied curtly, finally finding his voice again. “The people need me here more so then a silly pretender does.”

 _Ouch._ Lavellan frowned.  
"Don't you think that's a bit harsh coming from a trickster like yourself?” She shot back. He once again paused before he shot her an eagle eye gaze which she promptly met with a warming smile.

“Now, now that's enough you too. We'll be heading off into the Hinterlands soon and we can't have at each other's throats.” It was then she looked at Mahnon with a brow raised.  
“You're taking me with you?”  
“Why not? You seem proficient enough. You know what the mark is-"  
“What!”  
“And personally I'd rather a team full of ladies than men any day. No offense Solas, you're coming too.”  
Solas straightened himself an instant. He turned toward Mahnon with his hands weaving behind his back.  
“Of course, there are many things in the Hinterlands that I would like to look into.”

“Like me?” Ellana quipped, apparently she didn't get the any fighting memo. Solas didn't even turn to regard her, however.  
“Honestly you are the last thing I'm interested in right now.”  
“Clearly.” She snapped, observing his stance. He was practically giddy at the opportunity to go searching for the artifact.

Anything that would help strengthen the Veil. “Oh and since we're all speaking so honestly right now. I can honestly say, Solas was it, that you are the worst caretaker I have ever seen. You hardly checked to see if I was alright. You just had your grubby hands all over the mark. So tell me, what is _your_ affinity with the Anchor, _trickster?”_

Solas regarded her mildly. A chess piece he clearly planned to defeat with a good time, and she would not fall into that role yet again. Better air it out then keep it in they say.  
“For your information, I was simply curious about how much power resides inside it. I have no idea what you're on about. You should be thanking me, Trevelyan, that I even came at all. I might not have bothered.“  
“If it wasn't for the mark.” She finished and he didn't respond.  
“You sound jealous. Does it bother you that my attention was drawn elsewhere? After all, you did call me ma vahnan. Does your fanciful dreams have you intimately persuading elves too?”  
Ellana rolled her eyes.  


_Fenedhis lasa._

He was not going to let that one go.  


“I assure you that I thought it meant that my heart was hurting. Apparently, it does not. Perhaps I skipped over that part too fast. Lost in the translation if you will.”  
“Of course I expected no less.” _From your people._  


He hadn't said it but she knew it was there. With him, such insults were always at the tip of his tongue. Ellana felt her knuckles grip in her lap, and she was sure they were whitened from her hold.  
“It is an endearment." Mahanon explained, "It means my heart. But I guess your people wouldn't know such things.”  
Mahanon was more daring than the wolf. Ellana couldn't suppress the laugh.  
No wonder Solas liked him. He had Mahanon around to say the things he could not.  
“Ass.” She bit out. “Solas more than so.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Sorry, it appears my answer seems to be lost in the translation. Maybe you need to do a read on Common. It might do some good for the ignorant.” With that, she quickly got to her feet and went out the door. Mahnon offered her a quip for help and she waved it off. “I'm fine. I don't need help getting away from him. I'll see you at the gates. Can't wait to see what we find in the Hinterlands _team._ "  


_Fenedhis._  
This was a fucking mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ir abelas, ma vhenan: I am filled with sorrow for your loss, my heart.  
> Mala suledin nadas: Now you must endure.  
> Ma serannas: My thanks  
> Fenedhis: A common curse, crap.  
> Fenedhis lasa: An expansion to the common curse.


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay Varric appears!

Lavellan couldn't say she was too pleased to be back in Haven. She knew it would come to be but still, these people...They hailed her as some sort of deity that was sent from the Maker to save them. Obviously, that was far from the truth. 

Ellana forced herself to swallow, she had barely made her way out from the cottage. In fact was standing at the crossroad to where Varric normally waited to have their usual chats about the Champion and other things. She half expected Solas and Mahanon to come out and tease her but apparently, the two were chatting. Which Ellana knew could take hours if Solas were around. She smiled at the memory but quickly pushed it away when she took in across the way the tavern from afar.

It was a minute, but that's all it ever took with Lavellan. A moment of a flash and then there was flames, an echoing scream that stilled her blood cold. Time slowed as she had made attempt to run towards that shrilling scream only to be jerked back by Solas. He had forced her to watch as a Red Templar cut through an innocent bystander. One who had no way to defend themselves. A child no less, and she was unable to stop it. Only take it all in. The blood that splattered upon the tavern's walls and that eerie silence that followed with it. 

Lavellan reeled at the memory like she had been burned and in so that oh so familiar feeling of bile ran up to her throat at hearing his words. _'Forget them – they can be sacrificed. It is you that we cannot lose. If you die, Herald, then all will be for naught.'_

 

And to think at the time she thought he cared about her well-being. 

Lavellan cursed. Such a foolish individual she was back then. The only thing he ever cared for was the Anchor. The Orb, and restoring the Elven glory. Nothing else ever mattered.

“I don't think I've ever seen you around here before.” A voice appeared, causing her to jump slightly, “I would have noticed too with that green glow and all.” Ellana spun and looked down to see Varric standing, observing. “Is everything alright?” Ellana shrugged her shoulders.

“It's hard to take in.” She admitted, and he smiled.

“Oh sure, I know it must be hard for someone from your prestige to be used to some run down village like this. These rigidity beds just aren't the same.”

“...Yeah.” Lavellan slowly answered. She was trying to make everything seem normal again. Pushing the hate back was much harder then she thought. Her right hand now pulled into a fist and she was sure it was shaking, but she hid it behind her back alongside her marked one.

“Haven's a good place though. The people here too. Everyone's just trying to make due with what they have with the war and all.” Varric gestured they move back to where he normally stood away from the passerbys and that market stall that she would visit whenever she was low on supplies. Ellana decided to walk with him, and in doing so missed the sight of a young girl running behind her. One that haunted her just moments ago. “Varric Tethras: rouge, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tag-along.”

Ellana smiled. 

“Evelyn Traveleyn: mage, Herald of Andraste's ass, and occasionally bitchy at your service.” She bowed and he laughed. 

“I think were going to get along just fine. You know you remind me a lot like Hawke. I should introduce you sometime.” Ellana tilted her head to the notion.

 _“Hawke?”_ She questioned which caused Varric to do a double-take.

“The Champion of Kirkwall.” He elaborated and Ellana continued to play dumb. She didn't want to say something stupid like, how is she doing just to find out moments after under the dress was actually a pair of balls. “She's a fierce one. Fiery temper, I don't know how Broody manages to keep her under wraps. Then again he's not a Saint either.”

“Is she a mage? Like me?” Ellana wondered, now feeling some relief flow through her. So the only thing that was changed as of now was that other inquisitor. 

“Hawke? Hell no, she's a rogue like me. Take a dagger to your throat and then make a joke after slitting it off clean.” 

“Ah.” 

It was really all she could say at the time. So Hawke did change too, but not substantially. “Well, she sounds like an interesting person. I'd love to meet her.”

“Yeah well...I've sent out a few letters but nothing has come back yet. I sure hope everything is okay. Last time I heard she was trying to get her younger sister into hiding. Sunshine has always been difficult since she became a Warden I hear.”

“I see.” 

“Hey you seem pretty down, and I know just the thing, how about a drink down at the tavern?” Ellana winced. “It's okay if you're not much of a drinker, I understand. You must have always needed to be on your toes back when you were in the circle. I mean, I've heard the Seeker talk about you but this is the first time I've actually got the chance to see you in person. It looks like your still living in it.”

 _“Living in it?”_ She questioned, and he shrugged.

“ _The circle days._ It must have been tough. I'm sorry you went through it.” Ellana couldn't find words after that. She could only nod numbly. In her mind there were memories, memories she shouldn't have but it didn't really affect her because she knew it wasn't real. None of this appearance was but who was she to deny it? “I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to.”  
Ellana again nodded. It was incredibly hard to speak to Varric then the others. He had been the one to always get her up and about again. Especially after losing her arm initially. She had spent days in her quarters struggling to be who she was.  
The Inquisitor.  
The Heart of Fen'Harel. 

It was in that moment that her heart pulled for her to tell Varric everything. If anyone should know of the foreboding entity it should be him. Ellana wanted that more than anything after losing him to Fen'Harel's army. She could not deal with losing any of them again. She couldn't be alone, but with a grit of her teeth and a lone tear, Ellana endured. 

If they made way for Tarasyl'an Te'las now then that would ruin the precious time she needed to plan while Corypheus thought she was dead. Haven needed to fall. 

Solas was right and it pained her at the thought.  
Sacrifices needed to be made. “I heard you caused quite a commotion this morning Evelyn.” Varric's voice once again appeared breaking through the mold. “Mahanon looked like he was about to shit his pants when he said you were bleeding. He thought you were going to turn into an abomination. You should have seen how fast Chuckles ran through here when he heard that the second herald was dying.”

“I can imagine. He didn't take very well to me after I didn't offer to suck his cock like Mahanon does.”

“Oh ho! That's always good to hear. I was beginning to think I was the only one who didn't believe in all this horse-shit they love to go on about. Maker's tits. I need some hard liquor whenever I think of it.”

“Don't let me stop you Varric, and by the way that is a very lovely crossbow.” Varric smiled, reaching back to scratch his head. 

“Yeah well Bianca is the best kind of gal there is.”

“I'd imagine.” She replied knowingly but thankfully Varric didn't catch it. He wasn't aware of what she knew just yet. 

In due time.

_Perhaps._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tarasyl'an Te'las: Skyhold


	4. Not a Herald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actions speak louder than words.

“Herald! Herald of Andraste!” 

They called demanding undivided attention. Lavellan twitched her nose at the sudden stench that rose through the air. This is exactly why she hated Haven, she couldn't have a moment to herself without stirring some kind of commotion. Perhaps she should have taken up Varric's offer after all. Ellana spun towards the newcomers. 

_Fenedhis._

A drunk Templar save absent of his armor. Probably one of Cullen's old recruits from Kirkwall and the other besides him a woman dressed from rags head to toe. Her gaze practically glued to the floor. “Well met Herald. We've heard of your arrival and many are pleased to hear that the maker had sent another.”

Ellana groaned when the woman dropped to her knees and bowed. She shook her head in an instant and tried to pull the woman from the floor, but she wouldn't budge. 

“Please, I am no such thing.” Ellana begged the woman, before glancing back at the man in hopes that he would get her to stop. “I have no interest in such titles. The Herald you are looking for is just beyond over yonder inside that hut over there.”

At hearing this the woman slightly rose her head up, revealing that she was also an elf. Which in turn made Ellana feel even worse. She went to outstretch her hand to help the woman up but was unable when the Templar hooked his arm around Ellana's neck pulling her close. The stench of alcohol twisting her already tightened gut. “Release me.” She snapped, but he paid no heed and merely let out a loud bellowing guffaw.

“Surely you jest Herald. Why would the maker send us a bloody knife-ear to save us?” His words stilled her, but he continued despite her numbness. “There must have been some sort of mix up and they gave us you to compensate. What say you?” He asked the woman who was his companion she supposed until he kicked the woman and spat on her face. The elf could only weep as Lavellan stared at the man with horror.

It was truly disgusting. 

Lavellan attempted to escape from this mans grasp but he continued to pull her back towards the bar where a newly found crowd had formed. Other men offered him another glass for his free hand, and he took the offer with a chug. Liquid falling free down his lips onto his garb as they continued to laugh while she squirmed all the more in discomfort. “Three cheers for the Herald who has come to save us from that wretched breach in the sky!”

There was clapping and singing, and Lavellan frowned at the scene. How could they act like the man had done nothing wrong? Had they not seen? Had they not heard? When she was herself none of them dared to do such a stupid stunt. But what because she was not, it was okay?

Lavellan was pulled back into reality when something slobbery met her cheek. The Templar dared to kiss her and present her like some kind of trophy. Ellana twitched and sputtered, memories of Templars beating her to the floor resurfaced. Holding her down in a heap of blood as she swore to them profusely that she was not working for Fen'Harel. By then, however, the corruption had spread too quickly and her words meant nothing. The inquisition was feared no more, and she was someone they could take turns with. Spoils to be shared only to be left found torn and broken by her allies. Or rather little the ones she had left. 

Ellana shook off the memory and took a deep breath. She wasn't that person anymore. She had her arms, and soon she would have her friends. All of them and nothing would come in the way of that. Lavellan opened her eyes and stomped on this man's foot. The singing and dancing coming to a dead halt when his yelp erupted through the air. His hold had loosened but she had truly slipped away when she banged her head against his chin causing him to stumble back onto his bum. His drink lost on the snowy ground below. 

Murmurs of hushed insults were thrown her way as she wiped the slobber off her cheek with the back of her right hand. They spoke of filthy mages and some going further to mention that this is why she was abandoned by her parents. Lavellan scoffed. Maybe now they would leave her be. They did more harm than good by worshiping some false prophet. 

Her thoughts interrupted by the laughter of the man who was now helped up by some of his fellow Templars. He smirked at her wildly. In fact, they all now held a particular glint in their eye that made her take a sudden step back once she watched their leader lick his lips at her defiance. “What's the wrong Herald? Worried that I might smite you?” Ellana's eyes flashed at the threat and they laughed at the way her feet slid into a battle stance. 

“Piss drunken fool. You are nothing to what I have seen. What I have faced. You mock me, but if you continue to press me, you won't get any second chances.”

“Ho- would you look at this- the Herald here has got a lot of spirits.” He circled her as he talked, and she followed his gaze, whilst keeping the others locations noted in the back of her mind if they tried anything stupid. “But talking will get you nowhere here.” He said, pausing, before reaching into the crowd and pulling another elven woman out by her ponytail and pushing her to the floor in front of Ellana mockingly. The woman begged to be released but the man simply slapped her, silencing her as a display of power. Ellana could only grit her teeth in response. “You have my thanks, Herald. I am truly blessed by your presence. With you here that other shit herald words are null. Why to follow a damned knife-ear when you have someone who will take charge-” He bent the woman over, and pretended to mount her. “ and lead us to fucking glory!”

More cheers erupted then, and Ellana could only focus on the Elven woman whose tears slid down her cheeks.

“Release her.” Ellana demanded voice drawing thin with patience. “Release her now before I slit your fucking throat and have your head mounted on a spike for fucking display.”

The Templar released the woman, and she too scrambled away. Pushing past Lavellan without a word. The man regarded Lavellan with a smile, approaching her and nearing her without any second thoughts.

“Oh and what can a mage---”

It was in that moment that the man was sent to the floor. Lavellan stalked him, pulled him up and kicked him in the stomach before reeling her arm back for another solid blow to the face. 

She was shaking she was sure of it. But he had crossed her, and she warned him not to. Hopefully, the message was loud and clear because once he staggered back to his feet, everyone was able to view his bloodied face. Lavellan was sure she had broken his nose and was somewhat pleased with her handiwork when his face flushed red in embarrassment. 

A Templar bested in front of his mates by a lowly mage. She would have to mark the day as no pants Friday. Something Bull always had wanted to do.

Ellana was honestly not surprised when the man dared to unsheathe his sword. So they were going that route. Very well then. 

“Why the fuck did you do that? We were just having a bit of fun!” 

_“Fun?_ You were tormenting her you idiot!” 

“So what? That ain't no one but a knife-ear. Who gives a fuck about them lot.” 

“You call her that again, and I assure you there will be stories told about the Templar asshole who pissed off the Herald and met his end at Haven in a bloodied heap. Apologize now or else.”

The man regarded her oddly and she was proud of it. In the corner of her eye, she saw Varric appear but he wasn't rushing to stop her. None of them were. They didn't know the trigger, but they would. She would have them know. Especially so when the Templar charged forward throwing his sword down on her with the intent to injure. 

There were gasps when steel met flesh. The Templar's eyes widened when Ellana caught the blade effortlessly with her right hand. She didn't even wince at the blow, but blood trickled down her arm. He now struggled within her grasp and she felt her eyes narrow at the same time. 

“Abomination!” Someone yelled but she paid no mind. Her magic pulsed out from her fingertips freezing the blade completely within seconds. It then shattered to the floor beneath them. The Templar dropped the weapon out of fear that the magic would reach out to him too, but in that movement, Lavellan drew close, her right hand now thrusting forward into his sweaty little neck. Pinning him against the fence. A wall of ice separated off from everyone else, and it was just her and the Templar staring each other down.

“Do it.” He jeered, “fucking knife-ear sympathizer.” 

He didn't need to tell her twice. Her left hand sparked and hissed with a purple aura. Lightning tendrils coiled throughout her blood. With a quickened heart, she drove her arm through the man's chest. Blood splattered on her face. She smiled as he let out an agonized scream. He withered and begged but she continued until he stilled completely. 

There was no remorse for this man as she dropped him to the ground without a care. And when she brought down her walls...Gasps in horror came and yet even then she still did not bat an eye. Instead, she simply turned toward his Templar buddies with a sneer.

_**“Dirthara-ma.“** _

No one got in her way after that. Most fled out of fear and Ellana went on her way as if nothing ever passed, but surprisingly Varric was hot on her heels. 

“Damn Evelyn, you're supposed to be installing hope into these people not sending them packing.”  
She paused and shook her head.

“Let them fear me Varric. I'd rather have honest people follow me than some fucking quickly who thinks he's too good to respect _my_ people.”

_”Your people?”_ He questioned and finally, Ellana realized her error. Remembering just who she was in this world. 

“Everyone should be equal.” She whispered in attempts to clear her obvious slip-up. “I don't care about backgrounds and who is who.” She drawled a bit louder when she found her voice. “In the end aren't we supposed to be fighting together to close the breach?”

Varric nodded in understanding. He had seen how the Templars had treated that woman and had a feeling upon looking at how weary Evelyn appeared that perhaps she had seen herself in that woman too. 

“It's an inspiring idea but doesn't go too far with it. We really don't need another Blondie that will go as far as to blow up the Chantry to get his point across.”

Ellana couldn't laugh at the joke. Instead, she hugged both her arms close and nodded numbly. She had lost control.

It was an understatement. Ellana was holding so much back that when she finally let it go, she let the rage blind her. And with it, she took the life of another. But she didn't regret it and would do it again. Again and again, if it meant she could escape being some sort of holy mother. 

She was no herald. 

People had died.

And she...

She had slept with the man who saw it turn to ruin.

_'Ma ghilana mir din'an.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Dirthara-ma: "May you learn."  
> Ma ghilana mir din'an: "Guide me into death."


	5. Nothing is inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellana remembers her final confrontation with Solas.

Ellana couldn't remember a time when she had ever stood up for what she believed. Back in the old days, she couldn't handle an argument without losing her cool. It was up to her companions, Vivienne, Dorian, and Solas to deal with the diplomatic conversations whenever they went out patrolling. 

The only time she did ever speak was to make some sort of split-second decision or to promote some shit-faced religion that Mother Giselle had her hooked on. Ellana had become the pinnacle of desire, they ushered her forward and drank in the glory that she provided from standing at her side. 

Herald of Andraste.  
Makers Chosen. 

Everything was just a fools' errand. Ellana should have disbanded the inquisition when she had the chance. She could have settled in some desolated town where no one could call on her aid again. 

Away from the madness and let the Dread Wolf take her once the Veil fell. But when it came to the Dread Wolf, nothing was ever easy. 

Her mind slipped from her fingertips and she followed a broken path. Fueled by a desire to obtain redemption from someone who was already long lost. 

Fool.  
She was such a fool.

“Thank you for not stopping me Varric. If everyone always held my hand all the time then it would give me little room to learn from my mistakes.”

“I figured that if you weren't capable than you'd surely still be back in that circle.” 

_Back in that cage._

His words hit home more than he intended it to. Her mind practically shattering at the reminder. She was on he knees in an in instant, right hand clasping over her lips as a sob racked out of her. The tears fell bitterly down her face but Varric reminded her that she wasn't alone anymore. A hand on her shoulder which pulled her into a hug, one she didn't dare to refuse. 

Ellana needed the warmth because the memories were swallowing her whole again.

The last time she had ever seen Fen'Harel, he was sitting lazily about on his great golden throne. His followers continued to offer food and wine again and again but he simply waved them away. His interest always rested solely on her. 

Fen'Harel had always regarded her with a handsome smile and she met him with a painstaking grimace.

She was his doll. 

Always he had her dressed in a vexing white silken dress that split open to reveal the right side of her leg. Her white hair sprawled down her back whilst her lips parted to appealing perfection whenever he grabbed hold of her chin and pulled her into his mouth in yearning. 

She was his heart but also his prisoner.

“You should come to the ball, Vhenan. If I'm free maybe I can go as far to even share a dance. You are so beautiful. It would be a good way for you to interact with the people.”

 _“Your people.”_ She hissed and when he made a gesture for her to come to him. Ellana flushed, biting her lip, as she made a motion to move to his side. She waited for him to do what he wanted. She had learned in this Uthenera that there was no escape. 

Ellana had little choice but to obey and he simply took her into his arms and pulled her into his lap. His lips were on her earlobe, teething until she let out a low moan.

“...Fen'Harel.”

 _“Our people.”_ He corrected as his hands slipped into her dress and now fondled over her breasts. Flickering and pulling ever so often at her nipples. She gasped at his actions but he pulled his mouth to hers, tasting her now blossoming arousal. Taking in her every scent. 

Lavellan couldn't lie. She _loved_ his touch. She _desired_ his every being but the way he manhandled her in front of others...She despised it. 

When they were alone, he did no such thing. Rather instead he would call for Abelas to escort her back to her chambers where she would spend hours alone wondering if the Dread Wolf would ever grace her presence once more.

She was nothing but a trophy.  
A display of power. 

Fen'Harel would always have her on all fours begging for him to take her in the company of his plentiful and admiring visitors.

She was nothing.  
From start to finish.  
Nothing but a fucking tool.

Ellana stilled at the remind her. She felt herself pulling forward and letting out a weak sob. Until she was shaking so much that the Dread Wolf halted in his motions. 

It was in that moment that Fen'Harel had released his hold and she slipped away from him, tears spilling over with hatred as she cast her gaze on the sorrowful tyrant. 

“You'd like that wouldn't you.” She snapped in accusation. His followers made way to grab hold of her every time she defied him. 

They hated her. 

They wanted her gone.

Yet Fen'Harel never allowed them to get too near. 

Instead he simply let her vent. It was always like this and she didn't understand the reasoning behind it. The hatred blinded her. “Having the defeated inquisitor at your side for a show!” She laughed at the image of her broken and belittled. “Come one, come all and _watch_ as the Dread Wolf takes the former inquisitor from behind! _Watch_ the Dread Wolf have his way with her! _Watch_ as the broken _**bitch**_ shudders in delight as tears cascade down her face. **_Watch_** her and get a good fucking laugh while your at it! Because guess what! The inquisition is no more and Fen'Harel fucking **_won_**!”

She knew she was yelling. The tears never ceased to flow whenever they were together. Nothing ever ended with joy only sorrow and hate. 

That hatred only grew whenever she was left alone. She set fire to the curtains whenever he gifted her a new set. Lavellan would go as far to even shatter every mirror she could get her hands on in an attempt to convey that if she were ever to find her freedom...His precious fucking Eluvians would be the first thing she would have destroyed. 

Her only friend had become her bodyguard. Abelas. 

Abelas knew she was starting to become an empty shell of what she was before. He attempted to comfort her but she would find no peace in his words. Only begged him to give it her precious amulet back. But even Abelas would not defy his master. Not even for the sake of her sanity.

This place was to be her eternal hell.  
She had lost.  
She had _fucking lost._

“Vhenan you're being silly.” Fen'Harel finally spoke once he noted that she was out of breath. “No one would laugh. They know not to cross me.” 

Ellana face twisted into a cruel smirk. 

“Yes because threats solve everything.” She joked in a hallow attempt to regain her composure. “And don't think I have forgotten the time that you ripped out the throat of that servant boy who accidentally bumped into me. I know the truth, you don't have to hide it from me. I know I am nothing more than your precious _fuck toy._ ”

She watched his eyes narrow at her words. She was testing the wolf for the hundredth time. Maybe this time he would actually hit her. 

She had secretly wished it to be true and when she watched him rose. A giddy anticipation took over as approached. The Wolf loomed over her casting its true form on the shadows of the marble floor below. He lifted her chin with his right index fingertips and studied her.

Her heartbeat quickened but not due to fear but rather betraying her as unwanted thoughts entered her mind. She wanted him to touch her again. A please at the tip of her tongue but she bit it back with whatever was left of her former self.

Fen'Harel eyes always drew her to him. A month to a flame. She felt her self-slipping, salivating, and she was close to whimpering as he drew closer and closer.

“Vhenan _please,_ ” He began tilting her neck back. In the deepest desires of her threshold she prayed that he would bite into her flesh and end this constant torment but of course, that was the furthest thing from his mind. Instead, butterfly kisses ran down her neck and she arched, shuddered, and eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment when she was sure a certain wetness between her thighs was now surely evident. “You're not making this any easier on me.”

In the haze her lips puffed a heavy breath, and his fingers had begun to untie the bindings that held her dress together. _**“Fenedhis.”**_ He cursed when couldn't undo it. Ellana let out a triumphant laugh. 

“It should _never_ be easy on you, _Fen'Harel._ You should know that I hate you and your every being. _**Vhenan**_.” 

The dress had fallen to the floor at that moment Lavellan had recoiled away from him. Even though she stood naked and exposed in front of the world to see. 

To her surprise, however, the Dread Wolf too became frozen at her words. His eyes widening by the second when he realized what she had called him. She watched with utter amazement when he pulled away from her as if he had been slapped. Tail hidden between his legs as he stalked back over to his golden throne in utter silence. 

Lavellan swallowed when she watched him wretch a wine glass free from the trays before holding it up to her. She even arched a brow when he swallowed its contents without so much as a snip.

Lavellan was frightened. In all her time with him, this was the first that she was truly afraid. Ellana had never seen him drink so much in a lifetime and he most certainly never kept presenting them towards her in honor. 

She had pushed him a step too far.

When he was back on his feet, he swayed, and she wondered if she ought to catch him or stand her ground and wait for the blow that would surely come. She had chosen the latter when he decided to follow through. He called for one more drink and when it came, his eyes never left hers. 

They were hard, furious, battling some inner war that she clearly played some part in. She watched as he took the drink and lapped up its contents before stopping midway and then a shattering sound from behind her caused her to lurch forward. She winced upon bumping into him, but she didn't dare to lift her head rather stare back to see what had happened.

The glass he had held, he had thrown it. Not at her, because it clearly missed, but the fact that he had done it. She felt every bone in her body tremble in fear. 

“You mean so much to me.” He suddenly said out of the blue, and she found herself daring to look. It was a confession, but one she wouldn't believe. He was lying, he just had to be. It was another ploy, another way to get her back into his bed. “I just want us to be how we used to be.”

Ellana scoffed in her naked glory.

“There is no going back now.” Not from this. They couldn't ever be the same. “You made your decision wolf. You left me behind. You broke me. I believed in a false hope that I could change you. I thought I could make Solas return. I am such a fucking fool. You must be pleased.”

“It was not my intention to hurt you.” He snapped and for the first time in such a long time she swore she saw Solas in this monster. “...I warned you. I warned you in the dangers of getting too close. You chose this path just as much as I did when I made a promise to the people.”

He was slinking away from her, his gaze trying to run away and Ellana felt her heart leap from her chest. She had wanted to pull him close, to kiss him at that moment. But this was her opportunity. 

She couldn't believe it. He was calling for Abelas to bring her the amulet. 

Ellana didn't know what to think. But she, somewhere in her heart, she did know the truth. With a trembling lip and a broken gaze, she faced not Fen'Harel but a resurfacing Solas.

“And what did it get you?” She questioned eyes welting over with love upon seeing her lost lover's true gaze. “Smoke and mirrors, where all that respect you do so only because they fear you.”

 _“Ir abelas.”_ His tone was so sorrowful and she had wanted nothing more than to comfort it. It took everything to keep her rooted down. Her mind piecing itself back together, whispering, fighting for her heart to be swallowed by it. “I had no intention to keep you here under a forced will, vhenan. Ir abelas. ”

When Abelas returned, amulet in hand. Ellana swore she was alive for the first time in years. When her fingertips glossed over the object she felt the sobs escape her lips. _“Ar las mala revas. Dareth spiral, ma Vhenan.”_

Without any second thoughts she took the amulet close and she held it up into the air summoning its power from within. She looked at her love one last time and smiled.

**“Ar lath ma, _Solas.”_**

“Ar lath ma, ma vhenan.”

_Banal nadas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ir abelas: I am sorry  
> Ar lasa mala revas: "You are free.  
> Dareth shiral: "farewell"; literally "Safe journey".  
> Ar lath ma: I love you  
> Banal nadas: Nothing is inevitable. 
> 
> ////////////  
> Note: I actually wrote this chapter with this as my inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlrfWU9itvE ; I feel in a way that my Ellana is similar to Homura in Madoka Magica and I hope that I did this justice. I actually have never wrote something like this before. So its like me breaking some sort of virginity code. lol. It's sad I know. Ir abelas.


	6. The Scapegoat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt, call a spymaster to help out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if any mistakes.

When Ellana awoke, she felt a sudden wave of dizziness take hold of her. Everything was spinning, and her body wouldn't respond when she commanded it to rise. 

Rather she could only rely on her senses to convey just where the hell she was. 

The skies above her clear, beautiful in fact like a painting. Swirling a mix of blue, white, and gray. It had a certain calmness, one that she wished to explore more had it not been for the fact that she was feeling so ill. 

She was not in Haven anymore. That became more and more evident when her fingers twitched as a bead of sweat rolled down her face. Then another, and another. The constant blinking, driving her sanity away. 

Also, Lavellan felt like her entire body was on fire. Almost like she was currently braving the scorching heat of one of Sandy Howler's massive fireballs. 

Is that where she was?

 _The Hissing Wastes?_  
But wasn't it much too early to be seeking out the Venatori?  
_Fenedhis._ How long had she slept for? It did feel as if centenaries had passed and the memory of being in Uthenera certainly did drain her. More than she initially anticipated. 

Her mana being the first evident casualty. Strained and constricting. Ellana focused all efforts to try to tap into something, anything, but there was _nothing_ to grasp hold of as if it had never been a feat to perform in the first place.

Ellana felt her heart waver, mind twisting and turning over the sudden loss.  
Could she have become tranquil?  
The idea had certainly frightened her but alas did not seem as far-fetched to her at this point.  
She did cause quite the commotion. Maybe this was the price of being a mage and yet--That didn't stop her from trying to jerk around in attempts to be free of her magical constraints.

If she could get up and get a good look at where she was, maybe she could find Cassandra. The Seekers could reverse the rite of tranquility, couldn't they? Her memory was dwindling and she wasn't sure how long she had left before darkness would claim her again. 

Lavellan attempted one last final pull and she could feel her skin burn and ache at the cause, but she just had to try. She became frustrated when something heavy held her down. She let out a cry of anguish when she could make out the blurred image of someone hovering over her. 

A Templar.  
_Well shit._  
Had one of those Templars cornered her and knocked her out from behind?  
She couldn't remember. All that lingered was the last memory of Varric hugging her and then black. Her heart practically hammered in her chest when she saw the Templar overhead leaning forward to place a hand on her head. She flinched and squirmed uncontrollably. 

“ _No please, _anything but ** _that._** ” The thought of being branded was reliving the horror she felt when Solas told her the truth about the Vallaslin. She swallowed when the Templar's hand lay flat on her forehead. A cold chill dulled her senses. __

____

“Calm yourself, _Evelyn._ If you don't cease this movement. I fear you won't ever recover.” 

Her eyes snapped open an instant upon hearing _him_ of all people. Her orbs seemingly focused and the Templar above shifted into a bald apostate hobo. 

Solas. Ugh, why was Solas here? 

_'He kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'_ Varric's past voice told her mockingly. 

“Varric insisted that we bring you to the Hinterlands with us.” 

_Oh._

That explains some things. 

“Said the cold may have been affecting your proper decision-making skills. I would hope in the future that the Herald of Andraste would make wiser decisions. Tell me, _Evelyn,_ did you honestly believe you were helping anyone by killing that man?” 

Surely he wasn't expecting her to reply. She could barely move let alone form words.  
Ellana blinked, pausing, and just when had they become on a first name basis? He had never and did she mean _ever_ done such a thing in all the years she had known him. “Violence only causes more violence. It was a foolish stunt at best. It was not your place to get involved.“ 

Ellana glared but felt more puzzled when Solas did not let up in his rambling rant. 

Well this was certainly new.  
Maybe in this world, Solas was reasonable and less of an ass.  
Ellana snorted at the idea. Surely he was jesting and if not then this was all very concerning. “You should mind your own business, and deal with your own affairs.” 

Nope, this man was still positively the Dread Wolf. His condescending tone now becoming more evident. Ass and all.  
Handsome ass at that. 

Ellana's cheeks warmed at the thought but Lavellan quickly perished the thought. In fact, she was bracing herself for a testy Solas to snap her out of her thoughts. She knew he despised being ignored.

Talking to Solas himself was a commitment. If you wanted him to care about any decision making than first you must endure the long-winded, blow-harded, roundabout explanations. 

And apparently she was failing on that note too. “You are quite the odd one.” He commented, and she looked at him with an ever persisting frown. He did not seem bothered by it – yet. “Dream of being an elf and now I have to add that you talk like one too. Curious. You interest me _, Evelyn.”_

_WHAT!?_  
Her brain almost shut down completely at his words.  
Her whole world halted and she almost struggled to breathe when she took in the fact that he was confessing to her.  
Confessing something honest. 

He was blushing too now and she was forced to join in on the flush of sudden heat.  
From this point on Ellana knew she must have been sputtering. A truthful Dread Wolf was not at all what she was expecting when she returned from Uthenera. This was an utter 360-degree turn and she could only continue to sputter when he continued to speak to her as if she were an equal. “ _Ma serannas_ , perhaps there might be hope for this world yet – but rather that would be best discussed when you, _**wake up**_.”

It was then that Ellana narrowed in on his words.  
It took but a moment, but then she finally jolted up-- gasping like she was a fish out of the water. “Ah, so you're finally awake.” 

Ellana jerked forward to see Solas sitting beside her, eyes now downcast, nose deep, in some sort of tome. “We are currently in the Hinterlands. Varric insisted we take you along.” Ellana blinked, holding back a no shit retort.  
He _just_ told her that.  
Just because she was human didn't mean that she was less capable of understanding anything he said. 

Then again, she remembered, that this was the Dread Wolf of all people...  
His condescending never ceased and in response she simply humored him. Why not? He had earned it after praising her efforts. “I would hope in the future Trevelyan – that you will mind your own business.” He added before pausing to flip a page in his tome. _“It is unbecoming.”_

Ellana immediately soured. 

One minute he was thanking her – the next he was back to being a total ass.  
Formalities and all in tow.

 _Ugh._  
_“You not having hair is unbecoming.”_ She snapped feeling agitated while pulling herself up before finally stretching. Her mana had returned, although the clear lackluster of her power still remained a mystery to her. 

Just where the hell did Cassandra and Mahanon go?  
What were they thinking leaving her with _Solas_ of all people?  
They should have just left her at Haven while they were at it.  
_Fenedhis Varric._

Ellana felt her eyes droop towards the bald elf once more, somewhat curious when she heard him hum. The sound of his reverberation sent chills down her spine, and she flushed at the springing notion to have her mouth on his cock to see just how high she could get him to hum that tune.

_“S-Solas,” _Ellana began, he did not look her way and she was perfectly fine with that at the moment. “ _Please_ refrain from entering my dreams. I do not enjoy your constant circle jerk explanations. Just once will do.“__

She was now positively sure that his eyes were finally on her. She could feel his glare anywhere.

“Why would _I_ ever feel the need to go into your dreams? _Please_ don't insult me, _Herald._ ” 

Gods she hated him.  
He always, _always_ knew how to get under her skin.  
Fuck it. She would indulge him this once occasion.  
_Fen'Harel ver ar._

“You interest me, _Evelyn._ ” She mocked and emphasized. If she was going to repeat him, she needed to capture how Orlesian he sounded at the same time. “Ma serannas, perhaps there might be hope in this world yet.”

When Ellana finished she crossed her hands over her chest and smirked evilly at a now how red-faced, and angry Solas seemed.

 _"I--”_ He began, pausing to lick his lips, and then his mouth seemingly sewed shut. Suddenly he was sweating, and then he was shaking, and finally, he was stuttering. 

It was almost like she had caught him doing something, well, inappropriate.

WAIT.  
_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._  
Don't tell her that he-  
“I, I was unaware you were conscious at the time. _I_ —I did not mean to be _**heard.**_ ” 

_“Oh.”_  
“Yes _oh,_ are my sentiments exactly, _Herald._ ”

“Well then,” Ellana drawled out, “This is awkward.” 

“What is?” Cassandra's voice appeared, causing Ellana to slightly jump at the newcomer. She flushed at the thought of being caught doing something inappropriate with Solas of all people. 

This was turning out to be one hell of a day. Her point proving to be a statement once Ellana realized just what Cassandra was holding in her arms.  
In fact, Cassandra was painted in blood--but the warrior did not bother by it. Clearly not hers. 

Ellana growled when she counted inwardly and cursed upon realizing it was not a coincidence that Cassandra was indeed carrying Ram meat. 

“You—You've already spoken to Mother Giselle.” 

It was a fact. There was no need for confirmation at this point. A fools' errand was hardly forgettable. Hardly worth her time and yet because of the notion that she had been left behind. Ellana felt her jaw tighten. “What else have you done?” 

She did not care when Cassandra blinked at how sharp her tone was. She just wanted to know where she stood. 

“Mahanon and I – we were just helping some of the refugees to get settled."  
”And what of Dennet?”

“That journey would have been longer treck. We opted to wait for you to recover. How do you know all of this?”

_“Leliana .”_

It was as good as an excuse as any. Ellana knew that Cassandra would not press into the matter. Leliana had her own ways of doing things and sometimes it was out Cassandra's knowledge. 

“The true question you should be asking Cassandra, is why is it that our apostate hobo and friend here are redder than that of an apple that I have ever seen.” Mahanon joked as he made his appearance known. She was sure she heard Solas scoff at his next words. “It seems we have just walked into a lover's quarrel. How intriguing.”

____It didn't make Lavellan feel any better when he too was covered head to toe in blood.  
So now she was a burden too. Forcing them to fight with two instead of four. “Are you feeling well enough to fight? You fainted in Haven. Sudden fever. Your help magical talents would be most appreciating if you're ready to go. I know that I didn't enjoy cowering behind Cassandra's shield ever so often.”_ _ _ _

____“Is that what you call it? Your hands—they were practically all over me!” Cassandra snapped, as she dropped the meat onto one of the provisioning tables._ _ _ _

____“Now now Cassandra. Let's not give them the wrong kind of ideas about our excursions.”  
Cassandra appeared mortified at the statement. A light blush evident. “You and I know I did it because I had avoided those blasted ice-balls they were hurling at us.”_ _ _ _

____“Forgive me for not being able to accompany you. I was dealing with a threat of much greater proportions.” Solas voice came._ _ _ _

____“I'm sure you were.” Mahanon said snickering as he cast his gaze in her direction. “Did she try to electrify you in her sleep? I heard that she's quite the expert when it comes to performing magic. Didn't even need a staff.”_ _ _ _

____“I was lost in that moment.” Ellana interjected before Solas could respond. “I do not know what came over me. It was extremely difficult to maintain stability when faced with a previous tormentor that threatens to smite you in broad daylight.”_ _ _ _

_______There was silence then._  
Oh so they did not know that.  
Perhaps the sentiment had been glossed over when explanations were demanded.  
“Forgive me,” Mahanon said guiltily and she, in turn, shook her head, whilst reaching down to the ground to pick up her provided staff. 

____“There is nothing to forgive. The man is dead and I will not apologize for it.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, of course. My condolences. Shall we move out then? To Dennet?” By now Solas had put the tome away, he was currently trying his staff around his body and Cassandra was now instructing one of the posted guards to bring the Rams meat to a certain huntsman. “Anything beats walking at this point.”_ _ _ _

____Ellana felt herself smirk at this comment._ _ _ _

____“Get used to it. It's a long trip, and plenty of rifts along the way.”_ _ _ _

____“And you know this how because?”_ _ _ _

____“Leliana .”_ _ _ _

_______It was the ultimate scapegoat._  
She knew.  
But damn – Did it work every time. 

_Ir abelas, tel'abelas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ma serannas. = My thanks.  
> Fen'Harel ver ar. = Dread Wolf take me.  
> Ir abelas, tel'abelas = I'm sorry/ Not Sorry. 
> 
> Note: I just wanted to say I finally learned what, Fenedhis means today. You know other than "crap." So when I looked up Fenedhis lasa, I fucking died. Oh my god. I mean, I knew it meant wolf something from FEN but I didn't expect _that._  
>  Chapter 2 just became a lot funnier and you know what - I'm just going to leave it like that because I want to laugh at my own innocence. 
> 
> Fucking great. I love this story so much more now.


	7. Disrupting the Status Quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I've cleaned up some of the mistakes that I caught. Hopefully it is more enjoyable of a read.

“Is that an astrarium?” Solas questioned. Ellana rolled her eyes. 

'Why yes it is, Solas. Please, tell us more.' She sighed knowing all too well that he obviously wanted to stop at it. After all who couldn't avoid a good puzzle?

The Dread Wolf, that's who.

Ellana groaned for the fifth time today. She had insisted that they take her short-cut but they decided to stay on the path because apparently, that was the safest route. Except there was a problem with this little detail based on Ellana's previous experiences. The safest route always lead to Bandits, Templars, Rifts, and of course who could forget Dragons. 

The circle mage felt her lips twitch into a thin line. During this little excursion, she learned that Mahanon was basically her old self, first Keeper to his clan Lavellan, and had loved the idea of exploring everything. 

But was she really this bad? 

Just how many times had they stopped to pick Elfroot? Probably a dozen or more, but Mahanon insisted that they needed bundles of it for that just in case situation. Apparently, he was a hoarder of all things ingredient wise. Ellana had hoped Solas would have pushed him along but instead, Solas offered to mix them into potions and whatnot because he had felt obligated to help them after taking care of her. 

Oh yes, she was quite the burden to Solas. So much so that Ellana decided to stray closer to Cassandra so that Solas would keep his mouth away from hers. The last thing she needed was to be reprimanded for being sick. She was tired of him constantly micromanaging her every movement. Reminding her every so often how fragile and susceptible humans were in comparison to elves. It was really unfair considering his ancient elfyness of course. 

Cassandra was much more tolerant than she, however. Cassandra had laughed at Solas's attempt to make them feel less superior to him. She told him stories of when she had used sickness to her advantage. Apparently, Cassandra had never heard of the phrase, rest while sick because as a child she would exercise and train outside to sweat out the cold. To her resting was a sign of a wavering spirit and the Maker would not have her follow the path of a Seeker if he felt she was unfit for the job. The illness was a test in her eyes and she conquered it by taking hold of it. “Admirable.” Solas commented, “But dangerous.”

Cassandra snorted, and before she could reply, Mahanon who had been playing with the astrarium started asking questions. Questions which Solas was happy to oblige to because of puzzles and the Dread Wolf. Need not explain again. 

At least Cassandra wasn't bad company. This time around she had been much quicker to open up about her family and Ellana had a feeling it was because they were both Humans. Those of the same feather flock together. 

“Evelyn, I know this must be hard for you.” Cassandra began, causing Ellana to turn and look at the warrior with an amused look.  
“Solas? I can handle him.” Cassandra gave a light laugh and shook her head.  
“No, no, I mean how you feel about Templars.”  
“ _Ah._ ”  
“I just feel with the proper compassion towards them - that we can make them feel like protectors of the innocent rather than jailors. Please take don't let past experiences cloud your judgments. Everyone deserves a chance to make things right.”

'Past experiences? Which one?' Ellana had wanted to say, thinking of all of the times Templars had caused her nothing but agony. Her brows furrowed at the idea of helping...Templars but Cassandra was right. They deserve some recognition, but the mages...The mages deserved it so much more.

“Of course. Which is exactly why I feel like if anyone deserves a chance it's the mages. They have been the underdog for years. Trampled on a society who fears them and wishes them to be leashed on collars. To the people, we are nothing but abominations. Is that not what you saw me as when we first met?”

Cassandra wavered slightly but as Ellana had always known Cassandra was not one to falter so easily from her cause.

“I apologize, I was wrong to call you an abomination when we first met. I was looking to place blame where I could not explain the reasons behind it. I should not have let my past judgments cloud my decisions.“ She ended with a smile, and Ellana nodded.

“It's alright, we are only human after all and mistakes are bound to be made.” Ellana thought this would sufficient enough to please the Seeker but Cassandra scowled at the statement. 

“No, you don't understand. With me-- ** _mages_** have always been a sore subject. _My brother_...”

“ _Your brother?_ ” Ellana echoed with curiosity but Cassandra shook her head and decided not to add to it. Ellana respected her wishes. After all the Cassandra in her world never gave her an explanation on her brothers past but perhaps it had been her fault for overlooking the Seeker. Ellana swore this time around she would help Cassandra through her troubles rather than have the Seeker burden only hers.

“You are right though Evelyn. Mages should be able to freely govern themselves with our help if that's possible. I want the inquisition to reunite all respective entities but when it comes down to it, I think we are going to have to pick a side – I just hope its the right one. _Maker guide us._ ”

“Enemies!” Solas voice cut through the air. Both Cassandra and Ellana turned to see Solas cast a barrier around himself before a Templar could slam his sword into Solas's shoulder. A second Templar was already rounding him to make an attempted side-swipe but Cassandra charged forward bellowing a large war cry.

It was then that the Templar paused in his attack. He looked towards Cassandra's direction only to be knocked back by her pummeling shield. The blow causing him to be pushed back into his other Templar friend that was struggling to break through Solas's barrier. 

There was a scramble then but before the two could get back to their feet, Solas froze them in place and Cassandra finished them off with a well good knock behind the head with the hilt of her blade. 

The last and final Templar was currently attacking Mahanon who has been dodging and rolling out of the way ever so often. Ellana pulled her staff from her back with her right hand and prepared to pull forward to join the dance. But as she made way to do so she slid to a stop when there was a clash of blades. 

Mahanon had parried a strong swipe by using the hilt of his right hand's dagger but was losing the battle for power in strength. Ellana wasn't sure if she should get involved, if she couldn't keep control of her magic, there was a chance at that proximity that Mahanon could get hurt too. 

“Cassandra, Mahanon needs help!” She exclaimed, and the Seeker nodded but she too paused when Mahanon told her to stay back. Apparently he had things under control, and with a grit of his teeth, he managed to drop his left dagger onto the floor and proceeded to fish into his back pocket for one of his many smoke bombs. 

After a bit of fumbling, Mahanon managed to disappear into a thick of fog leaving a bewildered Templar swinging around his blade, wildly. A few moments later Mahanon reappeared out from the shadows to kick the shaken Templar in the back – propelling him forward and thus ultimately causing the Templar to then tumble down the slope right towards her.

“Evelyn you're up!” He shouted and she smiled at the offer. 

With a simple fade step she plunged forward. Her left hand now pulsing and dancing with power that was feeding on right hand's staff. The energy twisted and morphed into a blade of arcane vigor. With one fluid motion, she swiped forward cutting down the Templar and leaving a pool of blood in his wake. Vivienne would have been so pleased.

Her companions however...

Cassandra being the first to give her a disapproving stare. 

“Was that _really_ necessary?” She questioned, apparently cutting down Templars was not part of the plan. Especially not so after just having a talk about treating them with compassion. It was a badly timed maneuver and not in the best hindsight on Ellana's part.

Mahanon, always the crude one, pointed out that at least they had left two alive so it wasn't like it was a complete massacre. Cassandra growled but said nothing as she began to search the Templars for any information. She noted that the Templars were carrying a wedding ring and a letter. Upon reading it, discoveries had been made. 

Ah yes, that's right these Templars had killed an innocent Elven man. 

Ellana started to feel better at the reminder of widow Maura and how she wished for the ring back. Cassandra, however, seemed to be taken back by the whole thing. Her compassion for such men continued to be thrown in her face and before anyone could utter a word, Cassandra crumbled the note and tossed it aside before putting the ring into her pouch. “We should find its owner and make amends.”

“A brilliant idea.” Mahanon proclaimed, “Can I just say that together we have good, no, great chemistry. Let's do this again sometime guys, drinks are on me.” 

With a roll of her eyes Cassandra stalked off, and Mahanon was close behind, trying his best to cheer her up. Ellana sighed, putting her staff away and made the motion to move forward as well. She paused however when she felt a certain Dread Wolf's curious gaze as she passed by him. 

' _Fenedhis_.' Ellana cursed upon realizing her mistake. She wasn't supposed to be _this_ proficient in magic. It wasn't until Skyhold that she had fleshed out her specialization talents. Now she had gone and done it. The Wolf had caught her scent, and now she had to figure a way to get him off it.

But that was never an easy task.  
Especially when the Dread Wolf was involved.

So Ellana baited. She stood in place and cast her gaze over her shoulder to meet the Dread Wolf's admiration. 

“A Knight Enchanter.” Solas finally spoke up as he turned his gaze down the path. “That is quite the skill set, I must say that I'm impressed.” Ellana stayed silent as she walked beside him. Cassandra taking point down the road, and Mahanon between them like a child darting in and out of their conversation with a raised but amused brow. “Curious to know if you picked it up because of your--”

He paused, unsure how to properly address the topic. Ellana, however, knew what he was going to say and proceeded to glare at him flatly in hopes he would just get the message and move on from it. Thankfully he did because Solas was wise and able to read her unlike most of her companions. A feat she was thankful for when they were previously engaged with each other. He knew when to stop. 

Yet they weren't a thing anymore so much to her dismay and to Mahanon's delight the Dread Wolf decided to re-establish the banter with growing amusement a few blocks down. “So its true, you did take it up because of your--”

“ _Elf fetish._ ” Mahanon finished, realizing that Solas had set him up a perfect rebound even though it was not intentional due to Solas's glare. Ellana groaned in response. 

They were like children. Apparently, it humored them a great deal that a human was so interested in their culture. She wondered how they would react upon discovering that she really was an Elf. 

Embarrassed for bombarding her with such ridiculous questions? She could only hope – if she ever returned to normal that was.

Mahanon shrugged. “You know that's what you wanted to say Solas. Don't look so peeved. Just say it, no need to beat around the bush unless you need some private time to well– beat around the bush.”

Ellana couldn't suppress the laugh at the idea that the Dread Wolf would need to go hide in a bush somewhere so he may beat off to her magical similarities to Ancient Elven Arcane Warriors. 

“Don't be too hard on him.” Ellana began, a smile tugging at her lips. “He just can't deny my honor.“ She thought on what the Solas in her time said to her and decided to bounce it back toward Solas in full swing, “How I am a living embodiment of will made manifest. Mind shaping the body into a perfect weapon. I'm sure Solas would love the opportunity to tap into my knowledge.“

“Or simply just tap you.” Mahanon replied earning a loud, 'Ugh!' From Cassandra.

“You two are impossible. Can't we go one minute without talking about sex! If I had known we were going to be doing this I would have stayed in Haven and went back to reading one of my favorite books.”

“Apologies Cassandra it was not my intention to make you want to dive into another chapter of the unfinished series of, _Swords and Shields._ Perhaps when this is over I can ask Varric a favor to write some extra chapters in enduring our playful banter.” Ellana dropped with a knowing smirk and Cassandra made a gargled noise.

“ _Swords and Shields?_ Who has time for such a stupid book!” Cassandra retorted but then there was this eerie look thrown towards Ellana between her ravings. It meant words were to be had once they had returned to Haven. 

Swords and Shields would have its ending once more.

“But yes Solas.” Ellana continued, now looking towards the wolf with an apologetic smile. She knew he was probably highly uncomfortable right now. That or earnestly annoyed to have come along. “I took up the Knight Enchanter path upon discovering its techniques descend that from those of Ancient Elven magic called Arcane Warriors.” 

“...I wonder what they would think to see their magic used in defense of the Chantry.” Solas muttered disapprovingly. She blinked at his response. Back during their conversation when she was an Elf - he had regarded her with the up-most approval. Yet now he was pissed at her!

She felt her teeth grit and hands clench. 

“I wouldn't know Solas.” Ellana sneered, “Don't assume just because I'm Human that I'm doing this for the Chantry. I thought you were wiser than this but apparently not. A mistake I will not make in the future, excuse me.”

Lavellan pushed forward not caring that Solas winced at her words. Hell at this point she felt like she had been the one who was visibly burned. Her vision blurring at the idea that her accomplishments made her less commendable because she no longer adorned pointy ears.

Ellana made the motion to scout ahead and perhaps to leave them entirely had it not been for Mahanon to catch her arm. He pulled her back to them and forced her to display her brimming tears to the group. Solas looked deflated at her appearance, and Cassandra grumbled an insult in the apostates direction. To which, Solas offered an apology and silence followed.

After a few sniffles, and some long pauses of silence, the group rounded the corner to finally reach Calenhad's Foothold. A fade rift welcomed the somber group with Shades and Wraiths. Solas created a barrier on Cassandra who stayed by his side to block incoming projectiles. Solas was currently working on dispelling their magical barriers. 

Mahanon followed behind Ellana, the two being safeguarded by her ice wall before finally becoming close enough for Mahanon to jump overhead and slash his daggers down on a Wraith's head. It disappeared in an instant, and Ellana felt her mark pull in direction of an incoming projectile. Without thinking, Ellana activated her Aegis of the Rift ability around them. Using the Veil itself to shield and reflect the attacks of the other Wraith, killing it off as well. 

Mahanon gaped at her ability to will the mark so much better than he but Ellana quickly removed the barrier, sprang forward into a roll and shot her arm up at the rift, beginning to attempt to close it. The notion, however, left her open and a Shade slivered towards her. Mahanon was forced to intervene earning thanks from the circle mage as he drove his dagger into the demons back willing it back into the fade.

An explosion ensured as the rift began to spew out more demons, this time a lesser terror demon sprang from the under the earth and attacked Solas and Cassandra. It let out a large scream, one that Mahanon winced from even being so far away. The screech itself made it impossible for the two to counter a slash. 

The two fell back, both reaching for their spare health potions as the demon phased away.  
Mahanon was unsure how to react, should he use a smoke bomb or rejoin the others? The demon was nowhere in sight but the rift remained still active. Evelyn too looked on her toes, she appeared to be trying to search for some sort of telling sign where it might be next. Yet clearly she was having a hard time to do so when she was watching him as well. At one point, he figured he ought to stop moving so that she could concentrate but Evelyn was greatly opposed to this. It was at this point that Mahanon decided to forgo his weapons and instead simply focus on closing the rift. Knowing too well that disrupting the rift had its benefits. 

Perhaps, if he was lucky enough, to even force the demon out of its hiding. It would make him open to attacks but then again Evelyn was nearby so he attempted. Sure enough, a bubbling green substance appeared under him. His actions drawing the demon out and while he wanted to pull away from the rift, he found it much harder to than his counterpart. 

Luckily Ellana was at his side, she fades stepped over to him pushing him out of the way. Allowing herself, in turn, to get hit by the effects of the blast. There were blood and a gasp but as the demon went to finish the blow, a blast of fire shot at it. The lone attack had caused the demon to let out a cry as it disintegrated into thin air. 

Mahanon looked back to see Solas on his feet. Cassandra steadying him up as his left hand was now outstretched towards them. Solas gaze sharp and stormy making Mahanon wonder if it was because Evelyn was now withering in pain.  
“Close the rift.” She hissed out, as she clasped her side to stop the blood from pouring out. Mahanon nodded, set her aside, and stood. This time the rift snapped shut at a faster rate and Mahanon could not help but muse at why it was so difficult the first time around. 

Cassandra moved Solas close, and the mage went to one knee as if to examine the pale-faced Evelyn. She winced when his hands drew close to the wound. 

His voice was hushed when he instructed her to look away but she wouldn't. It had been a long time since she had been injured. Immortality is one of those reasons, the other being that the Wolf never let her go out into the world without him a step too far behind. 

Ellana had truly forgotten what it was like to hurt in her years of imprisonment and the ideology to see cut open flesh, would be quite a marvel to behold. 

As Solas lifted her shirt up to where the wound on her stomach was - there was an unmistakable gasp from Cassandra and then silence as they each absorbed the sight before them.  
Nothing.  
There was no wound.  
Just smeared dried blood where one ought to be.

Ellana cursed under her breath. Clearly, she now was in more trouble than she initially bargained for.  
Especially so when immortality was not something a mere human should have.

 _'Fen'Harel ver ar.'_  
How the hell was she supposed to explain this?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Fen'Harel ver ar : "Dread Wolf take me."
> 
> Notes:  
> Sorry for late update. Work and what not, but I did want to say thanks for all the kudos. I didn't expect that people would enjoy this. I hope that this chapter doesn't stir you away from it. But to me, I hated in gaming where like for Metroid Prime example, that you always have to start from scratch. Technically I wanted this to be different, where the Main Hero is more powerful and knowledgeable. It may come off as Mary Sue. But Ellana at the same time is very self destructive and emotional. So she can be countered especially by Solas. So lets see where this goes - if your willing to keep reading. Thanks for hanging out.


	8. The Muse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill

Tensions were high, but one thing was for certain. 

Ellana _had_ to keep moving forward. 

She had taken point and was walking in lengthly strides in comparion to her companions. 

Hell - the only person that was managing to keep up with her had been Cassandra which was surprising with the Seeker trying to absorb all the information on the map that Ellana had presented her with. The other two Elves were lagging behind probably still stunned over what had occurred just moments before. Ellana's mind brewed at the memory...

“How can this be?” She had remembered Solas asking as his fingers traced over her stomach in astonishment. Ellana twitched and jerked at the feeling of past lovers scorned touch and before she knew it she was slapping his hands away, and she was cursing him under her breath.

Cassandra offered a hand which Ellana gladly took it. 

Anything to get away from the bastard who betrayed her. 

And to think that her Solas had told her that she was free. A lie clearly as she was still suffering from her defeat to his hands!

“Ma lasa banal'ghilana!” Ellana cried out to the heavens and then she let out a scream of frustration to the gods above hoping that her voice would reach his. So he would know that someday she would get him for this. “Ma Harel Lasa!” 

Behind her Solas and Mahanon watched on with baffled expressions as their companion went on an Elven cursing rampage. 

To them Evelyn was pacing back and forth while she kept begging the Dread Wolf to take her and then cursing him at the same time.

It was all _very_ confusing.

“ _Evelyn_?” Cassandra called whenever the circle mage stopped before she let out another scream of frustration. “Evelyn, _please_.”  
“ _ **What Cassandra? What do you want?**_ ” Ellana asked coldly as she finally halted to look at Cassandra.  
Her once glimmering blue orbs now burning with tears.  
“I know your shocked.” Ellana responded with a laugh, a dark and chilling one to boot.  
“ _Shocked_? Do you know what this means Cassandra? Do you _even_ know?”  
“Evelyn, _please_. You're being irrational. Don't you see this is a _sign, a blessing, the Maker-”_  
“The Maker didn't choose me Cassandra. This _immortality_ – is _**no**_ gift the Maker would bestow-This power is a fucking **curse**.”  
“But _why_ Evelyn? No Human has ever been given such power before. This could be revolutionary to our cause. The people--”  
“Cassandra, if _we_ fail...If _**I**_ fail-- _ **I**_ will have to watch everyone I care about **die.** ” _Again._ She noted inwardly and as she did the images flowed. 

The wars, the fires, the pools of blood that stretched for miles. There was no escape. She couldn't- no matter how much she tried. It was never enough. And everywhere - _everywhere_ Ellana had searched that day when the Veil had collapsed there were nothing but scattered bodies of the people she cared for. From companions who tried with all their power and might to hide her away from past enemies that had joined together all for the sake of a better future but alas all was for naught. 

, In the end, the Dread Wolf swallowed her whole.

“ _ **EVELYN!**_ ” Cassandra cried out. The Seeker's voice breaking through the silent nights. There was a burning sensation that followed and the next thing Ellana could describe the feeling was a sudden numbness in her face.  
Ellana knew had been crying, the tears were now running bitterly down her now redden right cheek where Cassandra had slapped her. 

Apparently Ellana had gone into shock, eyes dilating from past nightmares. Cassandra had tried at first to shake Evelyn out of it by the gripping hold of her shoulders but when she wouldn't respond resorted to desperate measures. “Evelyn, we won't fail. The Breach in the sky, we _**will __**_ _close it.”_

__Another tear rolled down Ellana's face as she blinked and refocused her eyes to see the world around her once more.  
Alive and well, Evelyn felt a small smile grace her lips._ _

__“I know we will close the Breach, Cassandra.” The Seeker grinned at her words, patted her on the right side of the shoulder and announced that they should keep going, they were getting closer to their destination. She could just feel it. Ellana had nodded numbly, handing Cassandra a parchment. A map that she had drawn up between stops._ _

__Mahanon didn't argue, he had seen enough madness for a lifetime and Solas – well the Dread Wolf had eyed Evelyn in hopes that she would look in his direction. He realized that would not come to pass because Evelyn had no reason to. He had not been the kindest person to her, and he also realized that she too might see it as an attack. So he decided to let her be and hope that she would approach him again so that he may properly apologize and also to discuss the possibilities behind her immortality._ _

__His orb being his first guess. Then there was also this strange nagging feeling he could not explain._ _

__Evelyn - the Circle Mage from Ostwick._ _

__Evelyn _felt_ different. Different being an odd but somewhat of a good thing as well.  
The only other person who resembled such a feat had been Mahanon - the Dalish rouge. _ _

__Mahanon was another odd individual that Solas felt drawn to but with Evelyn - it was more so bothersome. Especially now that there was someone else like him. Immortal and lost.  
Perhaps, not entirely lost, since they could maybe keep each other company. Solas felt his cheeks warm at the idea._ _

__What was he thinking?  
She was a Shem, a quickling, and her attitude towards him did nothing but strain him. _ _

__It would never work._ _

__The Dread Wolf cast one more curious gaze before finally turning away and rejoining the others._ _

__Yet had he stayed a moment longer he would have heard everything.  
For Ellana felt her mouth move and utter a confession from the realms of her broken heart. “It's not the Breach that has me concerned. It is rather, The Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel.”_ _

__Ellana sighed, pushing the memory away. She knew this path. She remembered these rocks, these trees, and the smell of pine they gave. They were almost to their next camp._ _

__“Just up ahead, we should reach Lake Luthias.” Ellana told Cassandra who had been looking at the map that Evelyn claimed to have gotten from Leliana._ _

__To Cassandra, it was remarkably detailed, but then again Leliana had traveled through these lands before...So it made sense...But why had Leliana given it to Ellana and not her?_ _

__\--_ _

__When the party had climbed uphill, the view of the lake greeted them in its glorious glimmering sight. The sunset now cast down upon it creating an illuminating glow.  
“We should find a place to set-up camp,” Solas suggested as he met the two humans on the pier. They nodded, it was getting dark, and traveling at night would not benefit them any. _ _

__Mahanon, however, had other plans. Both Cassandra and Ellana gawked when a stark-naked Dalish Elf pushed past them. Cassandra is the one that actually, in her heavy armor, was pulled back into the water with the crazed idiot. Solas watched in horror when an echoing slap came and a splash of water recoiled drenching Evelyn and him on the pier._ _

Mahanon rose out from the water, the blood from his body and hair dissipating in the Lake's currents. He turned towards the scowling party.  
“What are you guys waiting for, the water feels great!” He laughed when Cassandra appeared out from the water below, gasping for air.  
“Are you completely out of your mind? I could have drowned you _idiot._ ”  
“Hm, I see your point. It's a good thing that it's not very deep right? Am I right?” There was a cry of frustration as Cassandra reached out to choke him but Mahanon dodged it effortlessly. With all of her gear on Cassandra really couldn't lay a finger on him. But that didn't mean she couldn't try. 

__The two others on the pier watched with mild interest._ _

__Ellana well, she was currently struggling with her inner-self. Her right hand's fingertips curling and coiling with lightning sparks, debating if she should stick her hand into the water and see how funny Mahanon would find it. Especially so now that she was starting to feel like a very wet mabari._ _

__Solas on the other hand, was staring at the glaring Evelyn and decided to attempt to make peace. He waved his right hand, creating fire. The idea was to warm her, but Ellana jumped at the sudden burst of light and found herself falling back. To which Solas had tried to catch her. Failing miserably._ _

__The two ended up joining their two other laughing companions. Ellana turned towards Solas, mouth twitching into a scowl. Her glare now more evident than ever before._ _

__“...Thanks for that.” She told him while trying to peel her auburn face-sticking locks out of her eyes. Solas made the motion to reply but was cut off when she splashed him, angrily. Solas coughed and once he had managed to regain breath realized Evelyn had pulled herself out from the water and had stormed off while cursing his existence in a string of words._ _

Solas let out an exasperated sigh as he watched her go.  
“... _Fenedhis Lasa_.” 

__

__

__She was going to be the end of him._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ma lasa banal'ghilana: “You mislead me!”  
> Ma Harel Lasa! : “You lied to me!”  
> 


	9. A Legacy of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which pain is worse - the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I've cleaned up some of the glaring issues that I caught. If there's anymore sorry in advance.

Tonight would be the first night of many nights without the Dread Wolf's company. 

Well, sort of anyhow.

There was still the matter of Solas but at least Ellana could find peace with knowing that the Dread Wolf no longer shared the same bed with her. 

What with Mahanon offering to take her place. She couldn't say no especially when the Seeker was known for going out like a light.  
Which had mostly been true that was until the Seeker had started sleep talking.  
Or Sleep yelling rather.

Ellana jolted out of her sleep when Cassandra threatened Varric with death for calling her gullible. It was hard to manage after that and so Ellana decided it was time to forsake her tent and ponder to her thoughts at the campfire. At least in the morning, Ellana could bring up with Cassandra about how similar they were. Dreaming about past encounters and what not. It could be a real chance to bond with the Seeker.

In fact, it was all very amusing to Ellana the situation she was now placed in. She could hear Mahanon's snore from the tent across where he and Solas shared space. Ellana wondered if he dreamt of their clan. She would speak to him on that too. A private point in time where she could perhaps instruct Mahanon to prevail where she had failed. 

Clan Lavellan might just survive this time around.

Ellana had been wrong.  
This was a good thing. 

Coming back - she could fix so much that was lost.

All she had to do was get a hold of the Foci...The Orb of Fen'Harel could change everything.  
Perhaps Ellana could even go as far as to banish the Dread Wolf as he did with the Evanuris with the orb as well. It clearly held immense power within it considering what had happened to the Conclave. 

Ellana found herself grinning at the idea. With the Dread Wolf gone Thedas would have a chance to be as what it was.  
A universe with people where the only thing needed to be feared of was the people.  
No gods – just themselves and their faulty religions. It was a world that Ellana felt she could watch from afar and never be involved with again.

A soft hum escaped her lips as she watched the flames dance before her eyes. She was now re-kindling the woodfire again before it went out completely. Such a light kept her company as the stars in the skies mocked her with past encounters.  
Ellana felt her head bob forward. Darkness calling her as the fade pulled her close once again.

\--

Ellana didn't remember how she had gotten out from her room. Perhaps the room itself was left unlocked but whatever the reason Ellana was thankful. She had spent the whole day trapped in that room after she slapped the Dread Wolf away. 

She would not allow him to draw close.  
To her they were enemies, not lovers, not allies, there was nothing she saw in him but a legacy of lies.  
A demon in disguise. 

Ellana had wandered about in the listless halls where she had remembered its residents were now we're taking part in the festivities. The Dread Wolf had been a very accommodating host. Celebrating and throwing parties whenever he returned from an outing.  
In the beginning, he would come to her but those days had long passed when she made it clear she resented him. Now he had abandoned her to lead a boring life of solitude. Locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a window that lead outside to a world she would never call her home. 

A party - Ellana snorted at the idea - one she was surely not allowed to attend.  
The Dread Wolf called it the prime of her rebellious phase. 

With padded steps Ellana wandered into the Spa area. She turned giddy upon being able to plunge her naked form into the waters without feeling his eyes wandering about on her. To be able to sing without worry as she attempted to rub the mud from her sleek form. 

Mud that even Fen'Harel himself claimed he could not see despite her constant assertions otherwise.  
Apparently, he was blind – how could he not see _their_ blood burned into her skin?

It was almost like she had never left the Fallow Mire. A part of her was still searching for her friends.  
Sera and Thom.  
They had journeyed to the Mire to respond to a claim which stated an Elven force was seen gathering members for a counterattack against her reformed Inquisition.  
What they found instead was a cleverly devised trap orchestrated by one of Fen'Harel's chosen to break her from contact with this inspiring Inquisition. It had been a successful plan that was until they realized Ellana had trouble escaping from it.  
The lack of her left arm proving to be a problem when she was unable to hold on and was thus was thrust into the mudslide without any hopes to escape that was until Sera and Thom decided to jump in after her.  
She had cursed them for putting their lives on the line for her but they told her she had to survive. The Dread Wolf would not pull the Veil down so long as she was out of his grasp.  
If she could escape then there was still hope for this world. 

Sera and Thom had pulled the last ditch effort and Ellana soon found herself being pushed up onto Thom's shoulders by Sera. The two of them fought the currents long enough to push her up and forward to grab hold of something – anything and once Ellana had been out of harm's way, the two let themselves be swept away with grinning smiles. They had reassured her that she would see them again but alas once the mudslide has passed Ellana could not find her wonderous companions. 

Everything became a haze after that.  
She did remember that she had disobeyed their last wishes and stayed behind to continue looking for them.  
Ellana just could not leave knowing that they could still be somewhere out there fighting to keep breathing. 

When Fen'Harel had found her – she was no longer the Inquisitor or his Vhenan.  
Instead, rather Ellana was just a lone survivor, whose mind had become rot.  
Memories fragmented as if the shock of knowing her companions did not survive overwhelmed her entirely leaving anything but a shell for Fen'Harel to gather into his arms. 

It had taken years to recover from such a blow and it had nearly killed her upon a discovery that Fen'Harel had waited with baited breath for her recovery to actually bring down the Veil.  
Apparently, when she was mindless it did not give him any pleasure to proceed until she was able to swallow it whole.  
Ellana couldn't believe it.  
She found herself turning away from the Dread Wolf for the first time in her life.  
It was odd.  
Cruel.  
Not Solas.  
Ellana didn't understand to which she turned to Abelas.

Abelas informed her that the Dread Wolf had lost himself in her absence. He had blamed himself for the way that she was and in turn, set out on a course to avenge her by seeking out the one who had orchestrated the attack. The whole ordeal caused Solas to be consumed by hatred and what once was her Vhenan slipped away as her mind proceeded to heal unaware of the fact. 

, In the end, all of her efforts to stop the Dread Wolf failed and Ellana concluded that if there was one thing she could make sure of was not to let the Dread Wolf get the best of her.

There was a sudden clang that caused Ellana to burst out from the water, she turned expecting to see the Dread Wolf's angry gaze but felt her fearful gaze softening at the sight of a servant. A mere child, he was, but not a slave – just an elf who enjoyed to be at the company of a so-called god. The boy's expression was wide-eyed and ears pink from the sight but he did not move. 

Afraid – afraid that if he did he might be turned to stone. 

A silly rumor someone had spread to keep those away from her. She was the Medusa of this age. Instead, with a soft smile, Ellana emerged out from the water and approached the boy. 

“You shouldn't be here.” He whispered and she couldn't help but laugh when he added, “Fen'Harel will be most angry.”

“He won't be.” She told him as a matter of factually as she bent down to him and proceeded to flick him on the forehead. “If you do not say anything.” The little elf blushed but nodded.

“Tell me, what is your name?”  
“...Miro.” He told her a bit startled by her actions, “When will I turn to stone?”  
“Stone?” She questioned and he pointed to his forehead, the spot where she had flicked.

“Fen'Harel warns that your touch breaks our immortality. That we will be encased in stone and we will never have the place in this world again.”

Ellana couldn't help but laugh. Such a silly story for the Dread Wolf to spun. 

“I am actually but a prisoner Miro. I have never had such abilities. The Dread Wolf keeps me here as a token of the war.” She told him truthfully and to her surprise, he believed her where the adults had not. 

From that day on Miro was by her side rather than the side of Fen'Harel. Miro had developed a relationship with her that kept her going. He ended up breaking her out of her chambers whenever Fen'Harel had disembarked and than Miro took her to rooms that Ellana thought never to have existed. He had done so much for her that Ellana had grown to love the boy like a son. At one point she had gotten so fearful of their exchanges that she wouldn't come out of her room when he unlocked it. She stayed hidden in hopes Miro would give up on trying to be friends with her.

Yet Miro never stopped coming to visit and what happened between them could only be faulted on her. Ellana had ignored Miro's call to leave her room, and instead, Miro entered her room himself to retrieve her. They were discovered by an extremely displeased Fen'Harel who had set upwards unknowingly to her so that he may stop any assassination plots against her. Fen'Harel froze when he discovered Ellana hugging Miro close. 

She never stood a chance when Fen'Harel ripped Miro from her arm. She had attempted to stop him but Fen'Harel pushed her away with his magic and before she could thrust her right arm out – gathering her wills to counter with magic she had not used in centuries, Fen'Harel had transformed into his beastly form and torn air from breath from the boy who only wished to be friends. 

When the Dread Wolf turned his six-eyed gaze to her snarling, _**'Dirthara-ma.'**_ Ellana found herself unable to tear away from his gaze. The blood dripping from his muzzle as she was forced to hold him close before he shape-shifted into a lie that Solas had come back to comfort her in a time of need.

 _“Solas.”_ She whimpered out as the tears fell. It had been so long since she had seen him. Even if it was a lie. An _beautiful_ lie which had become enough for Ellana to finally succumb to madness and to pride. She allowed him to press her right arm against the wall with now bloodied right hand. She didn't fight him when he has torn her clothing from her and drove himself inside her. 

_“Ellana.”_ Fen'Harel groaned out as he pressed his lips to hers hungrily, the taste of steel numbing her thoughts.

No more running, she was home. 

With her _Vhenan._

“Oi _**Evelyn**_.” Mahanon called out – Ellana stirred with fluttering eyes to feel a heavy weight pressed against her head. She glanced back to see his right foot pressing against the back of her head. “How long are you going to sleep for? We need to head out to Dennet.” 

Ellana couldn't help the glare she threw at the Dalish rouge. He only regarded their exchange with a laugh to which she quickly rose from her spot only to feel the friction of wetness between her thighs. With a growing blush, she excused herself for a bath to which Mahanon replied that she needed to wait her turn. But she hadn't heard him – too embarrassed in her own thoughts and approached the lake on a mission to hide away from the arousal taking over her.  
She had been mid-way from pulling off her undergarments when she heard a very awkward cough. She froze, head snapping out of her thoughts to see Solas staring up at her with a blank expression.  
“Trevelyan.”

Ellana honestly couldn't respond to him, her brain almost immediately stopped working. Instead, she simply gathered her clothing and turned away fleeing back towards camp. 

Mahanon regarded her nudity with little care. After all the Lavellan clan had bathed naked all the time. Nudity was taught not something to shy away but rather something to embrace. He did, however, make a small snicker about how she ought to pay attention more. 

Ellana stopped in her tracks. Eyes darkening as her right hand sparked lightning tendrils. Mahanon attempted to apologize but she disregarded it.

"Evelyn please-"

“Please nothing, and by the way my name is--” She told him while licking her lips as she approached, _“Ellana.”_

\--

Cassandra had returned when she saw a discharge of violet light shoot down from the skies overhead to where the camp was. At first, she was worried that apostates had attacked in her absence but than that notion had cleared up quickly when she noticed Evelyn standing on the pathway just on the outskirts of camp – arms crossed, battle-ready with her staff slung across her back. 

From Ellana's mood alone – Cassandra had a feeling something had happened but decided not to say anything that was until Mahanon dragged himself out to join them.

“Your hair.” She pointed out – which was now frazzled and pointing up in all different directions. It even seemed to be burned slightly. He simply stared at Ellana to which she shrugged. When Solas had joined – Cassandra was quick to ask what had happened. The fade expert who had a habit of non-stop talking – regarded her with silence. Instead, he took the point and lead them forward. 

As they went Cassandra noted Solas and Ellana's eyes met briefly ever so often. It was a real brow raiser and when they hit a fade rift at Forannan Ravine - Cassandra was dumbfounded when Ellana charged forward after they deemed it was too dangerous to approach. The circle mage proving her worth when she took down the rift without any help. 

“Amazing.” She told Ellana as the woman wiped sweat from her forehead. Ellana turned towards Cassandra with a smile, apparently, the encounter had loosened the mage up. “You truly are the Herald of Andraste.”

“Her name is Ellana.” Mahanon teased, finding a voice, and Cassandra glanced at him with a curious expression. “Her elf name – she remembered it.” 

“Why would I care about something like that?” Cassandra asked, and Mahanon shrugged.

“Apparently it was a big deal to her because _Ellana_ did this to my hair.”  
“I did it because you were being rude.” Ellana shot back while glaring at him and Cassandra was finally beginning to understand that Ellana had been the one to create that violet blast earlier. “You asked me to let you know when I had remembered my name – so think of it as an added bonus.”  
“An added bonus for whom?” He questioned to which Ellana simply smirked in response. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes.  


They were children.  


And to think these were the two who were tasked with closing the Breach.  


Maker help them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Dirthara-ma: May you learn.


	10. Vunerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no love, without pain. -Irving Stone

Wolves. 

Did they really need to deal with the wolves first? 

The watch towers would have been much better, easier, considering Ellana had already marked them on the map. All they had to do was return to Haven and have them built. But no, of course not, Mahanon felt Heroic today. 

Anything to make him forget about his new hairstyle. Ellana felt her lips curl as she let out a light laugh as she watched him trot forward on his brand new trusty steed. 

Yes –finally they had obtained a horse. 

Ellana let Mahanon partake in the trials to see if he could manage. He wasn't so bad and actually did a lot better than her first time. So when the decision came up who should be the master of reigns - Ellana decided to swallow her pride and let him be the one to lead them about. 

Besides – their destination – Wolf Hallow was relatively close by. Which meant that Mahanon's turn on the horse would surely come to a quick end. 

Which meant when it was her turn she would go somewhere much farther and exploit her time as much as possible so yes, Ellana would sit back and let Mahanon enjoy his little trip.

When they rounded the entrance to the cave, Mahanon jumped off his mount, and tied it to a tree with the lead they had received from Elania – Dennet's wife. The Dalish elf wasted no time in gathering the plentiful Spindleweed in the area and Ellana tried her best to keep calm about his antics. Especially after Cassandra gave them a good thrashing for fighting like children constantly. 

“So how should we approach?” Cassandra asked silently as she pointed to the gathering group of wild wolves outside. There was four of them and they were patrolling the area for food. Ellana looked towards the Dread Wolf. He looked extremely passive for someone who was about to partake in a raid to kill a bundle of wolves. She would have expected some type of telling of agitation but nothing.

Solas did though, since her, and ended up glancing her way to raise a brow. Ellana felt flush and cursed herself for doing so. 

Since when had she become such the virgin? 

Ah – right – _last night._ If she was lucky Solas would have brushed her off at as a sense of innocent embarrassment for being caught in a naked display. 

“C-can't you do something about them?” She squeaked out. She wasn't trying to bring out the Wolf but maybe he had some type of power to communicate and well stop the wolves from attacking them. That would be really nice of him to do. 

“Excuse me?” He questioned looking somewhat offended. Ellana sighed at this behavior from him. She had hoped that he could be more useful this time around. Given the state of his background – maybe with a little poking and prodding – he might display that ability a little bit more but of course, the Dread Wolf would play dumb in front of her. 

Oh yes- Solas – he was just a simple apostate hobo that just happened to be around when the Conclave exploded. 

Oh and he was a fade expert too!  
What a coincidence!  
How lucky!

Her lips lined upon staring at him.  
Really it was going to be like that wasn't it?  
Fine two could play this game.

“You know be the distraction.” 

“And what makes you think that I am suited for this role?” He asked, pushing her buttons too and she felt herself grin.

“Because you're the healer.” She explained and Mahanon nodded as if he caught her drift.

“Solas you always get attacked first.” Mahanon agreed. “Evelyn— _Ellana's_ right.” He managed when she shot him a death glare. He sweat-dropped at her enthusiasm to have one person call her by her Elf name. Apparently, it was to help Solas and him look past her faults – human and all.

“I get attacked first because the three of you always rush in and leave me wide open when reinforcements show up. I wouldn't be in this sort of position if we all just stuck together.”

Cassandra agreed with Solas naturally. She was always up for the more logical approach – but this was logical too. She just didn't know. 

“Solas, stop being scared.” She baited him. “They won't bite, _much_.” 

It was at that moment that Solas scowled. He had drawn so close to her as a way to show some sort of alpha dominance. He apparently did not like the idea that the Dread Wolf was frightened by a small pack of wolves. 

“I am not afraid of them. Wolves are not savage beasts that your people cast them as. These wolves just happen to be mind controlled by a demon. I can sense its evil presence here.”

“Oh?” She said, smiling. So he had slipped after all. “And pray tell where did you get the ability to sense demons? The fade? Or is it the fact that you, yourself, might be one too.” Solas looked at her with annoyance as he gave an exasperated sigh. 

“ _ **Fenedhis Lassa.**_ ” He commented under his breath but she heard him. And what came next was just a sort of cause and effect reaction. She hadn't meant to say it but it slipped out from always trying to get the best out of him.

“You want _me_ to do that right here? _**Now?**_ So dirty Solas, but I suppose I can be accommodating for _you._ ”

“ _What_?” He questioned as a blush spread across his face.  
“ _ **What?**_ ” She echoed as if she was trying to cover her tracks. “I-I said I'm not afraid of Wolves.”

“I heard something entirely different.” Mahanon muttered, his own face painted red from Evelyn sudden indecency. 

“Can we _please_ just move on.” Cassandra asked. 

The Seeker had no idea what Solas had told Ellana but the implications that Ellana gave after made Cassandra's cheeks burn. The Seeker was convinced now more than ever that the Elven people were nothing but horndogs. 

Sex, sex, sex.  
That's all they talked about. 

Ellana expected Solas to let it go after Cassandra spoke up. He wasn't one to peruse these types of discussions but when he moved a bit closer. She found herself wanting to inch away uncomfortably. Their noses were nearly touching after all. 

“Are you sure?” He questioned as he leaned close to her. She could feel his breath on her lips. “You sound most conflicted. _**Perhaps**_ _I **should**_ be the one to deal with the wolves than.” 

Ellana swallowed and nodded. She could not resist him this close proximity and he seemed to realize that because he smirked wildly. 

_Damn it._ She was not supposed to let him have this kind of effect on her!

He was the enemy!  
The Dread Wolf!

There was a laugh and then Solas turned away from her leaving her to her thoughts. Ellana tried to look for the shadow of the Wolf behind him. Anything to give her reason to hate him but all she could see was the hobo apostate in his wake.

 _Damn him._  
This was not how it was supposed to be!

With crossed arms, Ellana watched Solas display his own specializations. He had created a bundle of ice mines and laid them flat out before letting the wolves catch his scent. They snarled at his presence, and bared fangs but Solas paid no mind. Instead, the apostate simply created a tiny fade rift and melded it to his whims. The wolves yelped when they were drawn to it. They froze for a moment while Solas prepared his spell. She had to watch on with lined lips as he seemingly broke through their shackled minds. 

So he did have the power after all.  
Solas was not as innocent as he appeared.  
He just hid it and turned a blind eye back when she was still struggling on her feet.

The whole thing made her so distressed. So enraged that when the others had gone to praise him, she stalked forward and met him with a strong right hook to the face. He stumbled back, left a hand on his bruised chin as he stared at her in shock.

“Do not lie again.” She snarled out, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “I will not be so forgiving the next time - _Wolf_.”

She pushed on, ignoring their cries, and she would have continued on to slaughter every wolf in the cave ahead – had it not been for Cassandra to stand in her way. 

Cassandra had tackled her to the floor and pinned her arms behind her back. “Cassandra let me go.” 

“Why should I when I just watched a crazed mage attack her own comrade out of jealousy?”

“You don't understand the context behind it!” Ellana snapped out before she felt Cassandra push her face toward the dirt. 

“Then explain.” Ellana scoffed muttering that Cassandra had no idea what the Seeker was on about. Jealous of Solas? Fat chance. “From what I saw you had Solas go fight the wolves because you were too afraid and than when Solas showed you up – you attacked. That is what I saw. A child. You should apologize.”

“Seeker do not trouble yourself with such things. Some are more ignorant than others.” Solas's voice appeared, he had been standing behind the Seeker, looking down at her with a harsh look. Ellana felt her teeth grit in response.

“No.” Cassandra said. “I do not know what happened between you two--”

“I saw Trevelyan naked.” Solas confessed causing the Seeker to freeze up. “It was not on purpose but I believe the Herald feels some animosity towards me in the process. Vulnerable so to speak.”

Cassandra looked down at Ellana who had stopped struggling. In fact, the Herald had frozen up entirely, her eyes wide at his words. It seemed like Solas had been correct with his assessment. 

Without another word Cassandra released the Herald who had not moved but rather was now staring up at Solas. He had moved over to where she was and bent down, offering her his hand out to her as a way help her up. 

“I'm sorry.” Ellana breathed out, stunning him as she took his hand. “You are right. I was acting like a savage. Forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive.” He told her whilst smiling softly as he pulled her back up from the ground. “I suspected for some time that you were displaying some type of passive aggression towards me. Especially when you charged the fade rift earlier so blindly when I said we should be wary of it due to past encounters. If anyone should be sorry it should be me – I have been fueling your destructive habits. For that, you have my apologies.”

Evelyn stayed quiet and would have continued to do so if Mahanon had not had stumbled in. He was now carrying a bundle of Elfroot that he found scattered at the entrance.

“If you two a quite done with your sexual frustration now. I would really like to press on. Demons to stop. Breach to contain. But hey – I understand – us elves are deliciously good looking, who wouldn't want to fuck us?” 

“Cassandra, _please._ ”

The Seeker did not need Ellana to explain. She took Mahanon by the back of his collar and dragged him out towards the cave. She did pause and say one last thing to the both of them.

“I leave this matter to the two of you. I trust you can be friendly with each other upon re-evaluating each other.”

Solas and Ellana eyed each other cautiously before Evelyn sighed and turned away. Cassandra took this as a sign that she could go – and went on her way despite the protesting 12-year-old who wanted to get some action in.

–

During their quest deeper inside the cave, Solas had stayed silent and Ellana was worried that he might stab her in the back. When they rounded the corner and could see just beyond the Lesser Horror standing tall, bellowing they exchanged looks once more.  
“Plan?” She asked. Her magic was not the best for this sort of encounter. Lesser Horrors were immune to her thunderous tendrils and her ice magic would not slow it down with its ability to detach itself from this world. 

“With the wolves around the Horror- it will be hard to distinguish where it re-emerges.” Solas told her and she nodded in agreement. This would surely problematic for the both of them. If they were recovering from an attack from one of the wolves and the demon choose to pick them off – then there was a chance they would not be able to slip past the blast.

It could prove fatal.  
Even for the two of them.

“I know you will not like this plan – but I need you to use your Firestorm ability to force the wolves to flee. I will then use my Fadecloak to pass through unharmed and finish it off with a swing of my Spirit Blade. The wolves should be free of their imprisonment and if we lucky they will leave us be like the ones before.”

Ellana turned to at least emerge from the shadows so the enemy knew to go after her first.

It would be good to buy Solas sometime – but he did not let her get very far. He jerked her back and slammed her against the wall. She was forced to stare into his eyes and she was having trouble fighting off her erotic memory of him pressing against her. 

She felt her lips part.

“What are you doing?” She questioned.  
“How do you know I have these abilities?” He responded darkly. 

So that is what plagued him.

Damn so much for a potential booty call.

“Are you not a fade expert? I saw you display the prowess of that a Rift Mage possessed. I may have been blinded by my rage earlier but do not take me for a complete fool. I know what I saw – and I know the power you wield.”

“Very well.” He said as he released hold of her right arm, “Let us begin Trevelyan.”

Ellana than took a moment to shake her right arm free of the numbness and steadied her beating heart. She looked back around the corner, towards the demon, and then back towards her Elven apostate.

“I really wish you would call me by my name Solas. We could be so much more - you and I. Were not so different than you think.” She told him before plunging herself into battle.

This was after all – another world.

A chance to fix what was lost.

To fix them.

 _Perhaps._

Perhaps not all was lost.


	11. A Powerful Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss me and you will see how Important I am. - Sylvia Plath

**Haven.**

They had returned, a bit weary but at least they could say they were successful on their first expedition out. Cassandra stretched upon reaching the entrance. She mentioned that she was going to speak to the council about beginning preparations to start building those watchtowers. Mahanon offered to go with her, another resonating voice could prove useful if anything came up. Cassandra seemed wowed at his words but accepted it with a smile. 

The two made their way up to the chapel, thus leaving Solas and Ellana behind. 

Ellana glanced to Solas, after her proposal to him – he seemed much more wary of her. Maybe she had deeply disturbed him – after all its not every day a human comes onto an elf. 

She rolled her eyes, wooing Solas was going to be a lot harder this time around. 

“ _Solas_ \--”

“Trevelyan--” He began cutting her off but paused upon realizing she had called to him as well. He glanced her way but she put her hands up and shook her head.

“You first.” She said, “What I have to say is probably less important anyway.” Solas stared for a moment, but then nodded.

“You are different. A rare and marvelous spirit,” He began and Ellana froze.

No it couldn't be.  
But she knew these words. It had gutted her to hear them a second time.  
He was in the process of rejecting her pitch towards him!

“ _But?_ ” She said while swallowing heavy, preparing for the blow.

“You are just far _too_ different for _my_ tastes.”

It was then that Ellana slapped her forehead and let out a bewildered laugh. 

She couldn't believe it.  
This was really happening.  
He was rejecting her. 

The Dread Wolf.  
Her Vhenan.  
Rejecting her. 

“ _ **No**_.” She told him firmly. “You _can't_ - _I_ -I mean you can, but you haven't even given me a chance to really show you who I really am.” 

“I'm sorry.” He told her softly, and she, her heart felt like it was breaking all over again. He turned to leave, but with risen panic, she stretched out to him. 

She would not let him go.  
She could not loose him again.  
Not again.  
Not this time.

Ellana caught hold of his right arm and spun him around. The next thing she knew she had sprung herself forward and pressed her lips against his.

It had been a desperate measure to stop him.  
She knew that it was incredibly risky action but she just hoped that he could feel her resolve.  
Ellana practically willed every emotion in her body to project into that kiss.  
She was serious – she needed him to understand that this wasn't just a fling.

What Ellana hadn't count on was the sudden spark that happened as their lips touched.  
Her actions resulted in a sudden whiplash effect that pushed Ellana and Solas sliding back from each other. Ellana swallowed roughly, her body felt numb all over as if her magic had been flung back at her at full force.

Solas across from her was just as dumbfounded – in fact, he seemed to be getting paler upon just looking at her. Before she could even open her mouth to crack a joke another voice appeared.

Varric's voice. 

“Whoa there's just more of you every day! The Maker can't seem to make up his mind.” 

“Varric, what's the meaning of this?” Ellana quipped suddenly confused by his demeanor. Everything was getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

“Ah, so you know me already. I guess I don't need to introduce myself. I will say that you're a lot snappier than the other two heralds. I guess we needed a serious Elf to replace the sarcastic one.”

“I'm sorry?” She asked, tilting her head and then froze. 

That _voice_ – she knew that voice.  
Her hands were on her face in a moment, reaching to touch her ears – pointy ears!  
Ellana felt her lip tremble at the revelation. 

_"...Ir tel'him."_ She said, as her hands carressed those pointy ears. **"Ir tel'him**!" She exclaimed a bit louder and then looked to Solas with a wide smile. " _ **Ir tel'him!**_ ”

Varric looked at her just as confused. 

“Ah, what? I don't understand...Uh, Solas...A little help would be greatly appreciated here.” Solas just continued to gap, however, and Ellana felt her lips twisting into a smirk. She proceeded to wink in the apostates direction. 

Ha!  
He blushed!  
She would show him!

“I told you." She scolded him in a playful tone. " _You and I._ Were not so different after all. We really could really make a bad romance.” 

“I- _what_?” He managed to say, “What is the meaning of this – T-Trevelyan?”

“ _ **Evelyn**_?” Varric now called in pure awe and disbelief. She lifted her left hand, and waved at the dwarf, her blue eyes practically glowing with mischief. “Maker's tits. You're an _elf_. I mean, your beautiful – I mean, _**how**_?”

Ellana pulled back her long white hair with her right fingertips, before placing her left hand on her hip.

“What can I say, 'Us Elves are deliciously good looking, who wouldn't want to fuck us?”

His face faltered at her display. 

“Is this some kind of mage joke I'm not getting? People don't just become another race on the whim. Solas, _please_ , tell me this is a joke?” He looked towards the apostate for some sort of resolve but Solas was shaking his head. He looked just as confused as he did.  
“It's not a joke Varric. I was always an elf.” Ellana told him as a matter of factually. 

“Bullshit.” Varric told her while crossing his hands over his chest. “Besides,” He commented as he watched her body emit a green glow. “It seems like your magic trick is already fading Evelyn.”

“What?” She questioned, and then cursed. 

That other voice – it was back again. 

Ellana growled, she reached up to grab hold of a strand of her hair. 

Red.

 _Shit._

Her ears – normal – not pointy.

_Human._

She was Human again.

“It was a good joke while it had lasted.” Varric told her laughing. “You nearly had me piss myself.“

Ellana felt her fist clench. 

If this was a joke – Ellana did not find it funny. 

In the least bit. “Hey, Evelyn – where are you going?” He asked as she pushed past him. ”Are you mad? I didn't mean to ruin the joke. We should do the elf thing sometime again. You really were quite stunning.”

How embarrassing. 

Whatever that was. 

And Solas? 

Ellana groaned. 

Why was everything so complicated with the Dread Wolf?!

The gods must be having one hell of a laugh.

_Damn it all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ir tel'him: I'm me again
> 
> Notes:  
> AHAHAHAHAHA.  
> I Don't regret it.  
> And I have to go to work now?! I don't know how I'm going to be after this chapter.  
> Shit. I'm crazy.  
> Thanks for the Kudos - By the Way - it helps me keep motivated.  
> I'll keep going and well see where this ends up.  
> Oh boy.  
> I can't stop laughing.  
> I'M SUCH A NERD AND I LOVE IT.  
> Love it.


	12. Freedom from Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less. -C.S. Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late post - My manager went on vacation and her assistant messed everyone's schedules up. So now I'm off today and tomorrow which is extremely odd but I'll take it.  
> It's just my co-workers have revolted at this - and some (4) of them didn't show up to work yesterday with one even QUITTING so I worked a 7am to 9pm shift. Everything is kind of crazy. But yeah - hope you enjoy lol

They stood over the war table in deep discussion. Pondering and planning ahead on which action should be best taken next. Josephine stood to the left, she was holding a certain chess piece in her hand. Val Royeaux – ah of course – it was time to get the Chantry to permit them entrance into the city. 

“Ah Evelyn, there you are.” Cassandra addressed her. She was leaning over the war table at the center and her eyes rose to meet Ellena's upon entering. Josephine turned to greet her, a smile tugging at the corner of her cheeks.

“If Mahanon refuses on going – why not send Trevelyan? Her family ties make her the perfect candidate to address the Chantry.” Cullen scoffed – he was standing to Ellana's left. 

“You can't be serious.”

“Mother Giselle isn't wrong: at the moment, the Chantry's only strength is that they are united in opinion.” 

“And we should ignore the danger towards the Herald?” Leliana questioned, as she held her hands behind her back. She stood to the right, with a furrowed brows.

“Let's ask her.” Josephine responded as the room turned their eyes in Ellana's direction. Ellana simply shrugged.

“I'm not really on the best terms with my parents considering mage and all so if you're expecting a banquet table to be presented as I walk in – don't count on it.”

“I will go with her.” Cassandra spoke up. “We need this. Were not in the position to ignore the Chantry. Right now they are our best bet.” Leliana seemed troubled by this but none the less nodded.

“I will send a scout ahead. Prepare your team, Herald.” With that, she was out the door with Cullen soon following behind. 

“Evelyn just remember to not do anything too brash.” Josephine joked as she put her chess piece on the table. She spun it and grinned. “The people can be such a fickle matter.”

“Evelyn,” Ellana jumped at the voice, but soon relaxed to see Mahanon standing to her right. He was leaning against the wall. “A word if possible?” He stared at Josephine. “In private.” 

When Evelyn nodded the two remaining councils decided to take their leave. That was until Mahanon told Cassandra she could stay. Josephine eyed the three but parted ways behind the door. 

“What's this about? You're not coming?” Ellana asked before Mahanon could say his peace. The Dalish Rouge shook his head while crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes let's let the Elf walk into the prissy city and claim to be the chosen hero they all need. I'm sure that will roll over just peachy.” Ellana couldn't help but laugh. He was right about that one. Considering how quick they were to denounce her when she was pointy ears, perhaps this time around a human would fare much better at winning the Chantry's approval.

“You could always just try to persuade them with your delightful charm and superb diplomatic skills.” Cassandra said with sarcasm laced in her words. Mahanon smirked.

“Why Cassandra, I didn't know you could be so nice! You're absolutely right! I'll be sure to bring a great big fruit basket and offer sexual services on the side! It will be grand!”

“You can't be serious...” Cassandra muttered, and Ellana laughed some more. “We need the Chantry's assistance and if they see you soliciting--”

“He's joking Cassandra.” Ellana interjected causing the Seeker to shut her mouth with an, 'oh!' Mahanon's shit-eating grin only grew. “If there's any comfort in hearing this Cass - I had planned to go to Val Royeaux from the start anyways. Friends I'd like to recruit.”

Both Mahanon and Cassandra seemed to be intrigued with this. 

“What kind of _friends_?” Mahanon asked. “Should we be expecting any more of the crazy run-away type of mages?”

“ _No,_ but they are the kind that helps you win wars...Or well--die trying anyway.” Ellana added sounding a bit somber but she leaned forward and placed her hands on the war table. She looked at it and then noticed there was a tiny flag placed by the Hinterlands – they were going to build the watchtowers -good. It was then that she caught a chess piece over Fallow Mire. “You are going here?”

Mahanon joined her leaning over the table and tilted his head faking innocents.

“As opposed to what?” Ellana glared.

“ ...Val Royeaux.” Mahanon shrugged.

“Something about missing patrols. I was going to take Varric with me. We could take the stealthy route.”

“Not taking Solas?” Mahanon raised a brow at the offer.

“I figured you'd want him.” Ellana felt her cheeks burn. “Besides Solas sticks out like a sore thumb with that shiny head of his.”

“Oh for- _Really_?” Even Cassandra was having a hard time not trying to laugh, Evelyn could see the Seeker biting down her lip. “Fallow Mire is still _very_ dangerous. You should be accompanied by three people, Cass--”

“Surely you jest. We are going to be addressed by the Chantry and you want _me_ to be _sloshing_ about in some god forsaken Mire?”

“Well there should be _**no**_ sloshing about out there. _Avoid_ the water at all costs with the undead attracted to it and all.”

“Nope!” Cassandra suddenly said and with that, she opened the door and was out it in minutes leaving two chuckling companions behind it.

“I'll be fine Evelyn, you--”

“ _You_ should go recruit Rainier – I mean _**Blackwall.**_ He's--He's a _Gray Warden_ and would be a great addition to take.”

“Is this one of your friends?”

“One of them, yes.” 

“O-o-okay, where do we recruit this Gray Warden fellow?”

“ _Blackwall,_ ” Ellana corrected and Mahanon looked at her like what matters does it make what I call him. Ellana rolled her eyes and let out a big sigh. “The Hinterlands. Remember how we saw that cabin across from Lake Luthias, I've heard rumors that he's training new recruits there.”

“And if he's not there.”

“He will be.”

“But if he's not, _Ellana_.”

“ **He will be, **Mahanon**.** ” Mahanon blinked at Ellana 's snap, but he saw a look in her eyes that was hard, fierce, and one that gleamed of hidden secrets. 

The Rogue could catch a liar from miles away and Ellana was just the biggest oddity of the group. There was Solas who screamed of deception and that made Mahanon intrigued to sniff them out. But then his plans were foiled by the mysterious Elf-loving human. The fact that her interest rested on the apostate of all people was one that had him rolling over in nights. No one resisted his charm and Ellana 's eyes were only glued to Solas.

It was simply cringe-worthy so he decided then to stick by her side 24/7. He could watch her better, and Solas at the same time. Kill two birds with one stone. But Evelyn seemed to know certain things, more so than Solas. A circle mage who had been kept locked away in a tower shouldn't know about the outside world or its people. Yet Ellana did. 

Solas had been right.  
Ellana was most particular indeed. They had best keep on their toes around the lass.

 

“Fine. We will meet this Blackwall fellow.” 

“Good, don't forget to see Dennet and let him know about the watchtowers. Also, avoid going too far North. I've heard there is a Dragon stationed in the mountains.” 

And there was that gleam again.

“R-right. No far Northern journeys until your back in the group.”

“My thanks, Mahanon.” Ellana turned to take her leave but Mahanon grabbed hold of her arm. She stopped at the hold and gazed up at him with a raised brow.

“You and Solas having a lover's quarrel?” Mahanon asked now enjoying the red flush that displayed on Ellana's cheeks. Solas was her ultimate weakness it seemed.

“Uh, Solas, well, he, um,” She paused, cheeks darkening by the moment. “He turned me down.”

“He _**what**_? Is Solas daft as well as being a vagrant to boot?” 

“Solas wants a nice, Elvish—Mahanon where are you taking me?” Mahanon had pulled Ellana out the door and was now guiding her by the arm down the chapels halls. 

“To Solas of course.” 

Ellana blanched at the idea. She couldn't not after _that_ incident. She started twisting to reach out to her mana but stopped when Mahanon's grip on her tightened. 

“None of the mage business. I'm doing you a favor Evelyn.” She rolled her eyes and calmed her nerves, her mana shrinking away. 

Before she knew it Mahanon was now kicking in the door to Solas's cabin with her at his side. The apostate seemed generally jumpy as anyone should – but when he saw her there was this long sigh and she couldn't help but frown. It was clear that she had become his nuisance.

“Mahanon and _Evelyn_ – what is the meaning of this?”

“Evelyn wants you to go to Val Royeaux with her since I'm not going.”

“I said what! I told you to take him!” Ellana told him as she jabbed her freed left hand's index finger into his chest in accusation. 

“Honestly Evelyn,” He told the Circle Mage with feigned hurt. “It's quite alright to admit that you'd like to take our apostate into a dark corner and bang him. Everyone has their _kinks_ I'm just depressed that I'm not one of them.”

Ellana's face fell.

“Ah, what?” Mahanon released the mage, and guided his hand over in the direction to where Solas stood watching abet awkwardly.

“ _Solas_ of all people-- Evelyn, what were you thinking?”

The apostate let out a cough.

“I'm standing right here – you know.”

“Exactly my point.” 

Solas brows furrowed. The wolf was extremely unamused and Ellana could sense his rising frustration. She felt more and more embarrassed by the situation. Solas was going to hate her, and she was going to have to stick to her original plans. 

They would fight their wars, and nothing would be changed.

“I'm leaving.” Ellana announced surprisingly the two. She turned her attention to the wolf. She was fighting back her tears.“I didn't come here of my own free will. Mahanon dragged me here. I didn't want to bother you again. I know that you don't--”

“Just makeup already!” Mahanon exclaimed, pushing her forward causing her to stumble and land right on top of the unsuspecting apostate.

When she lifted her head, she blushed at the proximity. She was practically straddling him, and he was flushing too. “Evelyn?” Mahanon called, he sounded a bit startled. She jerked her head back and noted that upon seeing her he too was blushing.

“I'm me again aren't I?” She asked and while he seemed taken back by her words, found a voice to speak.

“If you mean that you're an Elf than yes.”

“Marvelous.” She said, reaching up to play with her white locks. “I wonder how long I have before it fades this time?”

“Evelyn were you _always_ an elf?” Mahanon asked her, the knowledge and flirtations starting to make more sense. Humans just don't drown themselves in Elf business unless they had reasoning behind it. 

“...Yes.” 

“Well I can tell you're certainly not lying but can I just say: ha ha ha.” Her glare on him hardened. 

Yes, she was a big joke. The elfy elf that became a human. 

“Evelyn,” Solas called, and her body warmed at the reminder. She looked down at the wolf, who now was growing hard under her. She swallowed. “Do you always change back when you kiss? This is the _second_ time now.”

“ _Kiss_?” Mahanon echoed and then the rest of Solas's words hit him. “You two have _**kissed**_ before?” Solas rolled his eyes. Ellana scratched the back of her head.

“Well, to be honest. You're the first one that I've kissed Solas. So um. Maybe?”

“So its settled!” Mahanon exclaimed with a clap that caused the two other Elves to jump. “Solas helps Evelyn with her curse. Or whatever you're plagued with?” 

Ellana shrugged.

“I woke up after the explosion at Conclave and I was a Human. Like I said – extremely bad luck.” 

“So you think fixing the Breach might change you back?”

“I don't honestly know.” She said honestly. “Kissing seems to temporary – _fix it._ ”

“It could be the fact that the magic I sense from your marks is Elvish.” Solas said, and the two were now looking at him. Evelyn's gaze so much more challenging than Mahanons. He didn't know why she was like this either – but he was having a difficult time suppressing his arousal. 

She was beautiful and it was a bonus that she didn't even have the accursed vallaslin. 

He froze – reaching up to touch her face with his right hand, memorized. 

She froze at the contact.

“I thought you said you were a Vallaslin donned Elf Evelyn...But there is nothing here.” Her blue eyes widened at the statement before he watched as her eyes fell downcast, there was some sort of internal struggle, and then she rose to meet his gaze with tear pricked ones. 

_“I am no ones slave._ ” She told him in the bare whisper and Solas found himself short of breath. He swallowed roughly and found himself to be most pleased with her words.

Something about her – there was something about her. He couldn't place his finger on but she was real.  
Her eyes gleamed with great sorrow. “Maybe my memories escape me.” She said louder so that Mahanon could hear before suddenly jerking up and away from his touch. 

By now she was glowing again. 

A familiar green hue, _his magic_. 

Solas was sure of it. 

What Evelyn said was true. 

Something had tainted her with his magic. He, however, was uncertain if it was the effect of the mark.

Mahanon would have been the same – _wouldn't he_? 

Solas found it odd that one was Human and the other remained. 

Maybe the _**orb**_? Had Evelyn _seen_ it? Solas had wanted to ask so many questions but also didn't want to risk being exposed – so he would wait. “Human and all.” Ellana joked as she waved her right hand as a disclaimer. Evelyn was now back to being the quick version of herself.

“I will accompany Evelyn to Val Royeaux.” Solas announced and he found himself smiling when her eyes met his in surprise. 

“Sudden change in heart?” Mahanon teased. 

“I have no idea what you're implying.”

“Sure you don't.” Mahanon said before turning to Ellana. “So Evelyn, want to grab a drink with me. I'll pay?”

“Are you asking me out?” She told him, sounding rather annoyed. Her arms now crossed displaying her clear vulnerability at the whole encounter.

“Was the offer to meet you in your dreams only reserved for Solas?”

“UGH!” She exclaimed, before turning heel out the door and Mahanon followed behind teasing that she sounded like Cassandra now – so thus he would have to buy her drinks.

Solas watched them leave with amusement.

What had he gotten himself into?

_“Melana en athim las enaste.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Melana en athim las enaste: Now let humility grant favor.
> 
> Notes:  
> Someone here has discovered one of my old projects from years back.  
> To that person, I don't know if it's a coincidence that you used Evelyn as your tag name but I will update it. Eventually - lol - just let me muse on this first. >.<


	13. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me. - Steve Maraboli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of script following from the game with minor tweaks here and there. I hope you can enjoy it! This chapter is very personal to Ellana and a lot of back story is revealed here. So I hope you enjoy that too. 
> 
> Also be warned: This Chapter is "very" dark. I would assume is the safest way to regard it.

Val Royeaux – the capital city of Orlais. It offered wealth, power, and knowledge to all those who ventured into its majestic metropolis. Ellana strode in, taking a roundabout view in. It was such a beautiful sight. She had seen it all before yes, but Val Royeaux was a city who held its head high. Even in the midst of a war. The Orlesians still flaunted their decorative fans and masks as a way to hide unpleasant secrets, desires, and mourning tears.

Ellana couldn't help but smile when a woman noticed them, gasped, and proceeded to run off in a hurry. Josephine was right – the people could be such a fickle thing indeed. Upon reaching the gates a scout ran up to them, she seemed quite flustered which was understandable with the Templars about.

“My lady Herald.” The scout breathed out as she took a knee to show respect.

“You're one of Leliana's people. What have you found?” Cassandra asked.

“The chantry mothers await you, but...” The scout paused unsure how to continue but managed to say the truth. “So do a great many Templars.”

Cassandra cast a worried gaze toward Ellana.  
Ellana felt the gaze and lifted a brow to which Cassandra shook her head and sighed. 

“Why are the Templars here?”

“The people seem to think the Templars will protect them from...From the Inquisition.” Cassandra blanched at this. 

“What!” Cassandra cried out. Her voice was nearing a shrill. “That's preposterous! The Inquisition wants to serve the people!” The scout nodded in agreement but apparently, the Orlesians felt otherwise. 

“They're gathering on the other side of the market. I think that's where the Templars intend to meet you.” The scout rose to her feet and bowed. 

Cassandra felt her fists tighten, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

“They wish to protect the people? From _**us?**_ ” It was then that Cassandra felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Evelyn smiling ever so brightly as if there was nothing to be distressed about from such an undignified outcome.

“Protect them from _**me**_. Most likely.” Ellana told her while conjuring up a quick flame. “An Abomination front and center...The city still mourns after all.” With that she let the flame disperse before anyone could catch a glance. 

“Probably doesn't help that Trevel... _Evelyn_ ended the life of a Templar back at Haven too.” Solas added and Ellana simply stared at the apostate with a surprised gaze. He saw the look and raised his own brow. “What?”

“You called me--” She paused when she felt Cassandra's curious gaze on her as well. “Uh, never mind...Anyways the three of us can defend ourselves in case a counter-attack arises.” Cassandra crossed her arms.

“Just remember we don't want a pitched battle in the middle of Val Royeaux.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.”  
“Good. I guess there's only one thing to do then,” Cassandra turned her attention on the scout. “Return to Haven. Someone will need to inform them if we are... _Delayed._ ”

With one final bow, the scout slunk into the shadows and disappeared without a trace.

As they approached the crowd – Ellana surveyed the scene. This is where Lord Seeker Lucius would appear to mock her status. Yet this would also be the very same day where Lord Seeker Lucius was not quite himself either. 

Ellana decided perhaps this time around it was time to change the script. 

This time around the Templars would not leave without grasping hold of their situation. If anything, it would be the perfect present for Cassandra. Treating the Templars with civilized respect.

“Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!” Revered Mother Hevara cried out as she riled the people. “Together we mourn our Divine. Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery!” The crowd murmured disrespectful sneers in Ellana's direction. They were practically begging for the opportunity to see a noose around her neck. Ellana could only endure so much. “You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!”

“Oh let me guess, this is the part where you point at me because it's starting to feel everyone's blaming me for simply being at the wrong place, wrong time.” Ellana quipped before the Revered Mother could go on her non-existent claim to being the Herald of Andraste. Cassandra drove her elbow into Ellana's side, and when Ellana turned to the Seeker in bemusement, Cassandra was glaring. 

Ah right, no fighting. 

“The people know you are a false prophet! The Maker would not send a _**mage**_ in our hour of need!”

Ellana couldn't hold back the laugh.

“Oh _really_ , your going to use _**that**_ against me now. Not that I'm an _Elf_ but a __mage. Maybe next time around I'll try to be a good little Templar where you can drag me about on a leash. I'm sure you'll accept me then. Oh, but won't that mean I might be corrupted by the Red Lyrium by then? Such a shame! It seems to be a lose, lose after all. Why am I not surprised?”

Hevara looked at Ellana with a befuddled look. Hell, they all did. To them, she was just sputtering nonsensical nonsense after all. “Instead of looking for someone to blame, let's focus our attention on the real enemy starting with Lord Seeker Lucius!”

“ _ **Evelyn**_ ,” Cassandra snapped in a bare whisper. “What the _hell_ do you think your doing?”

“ _Trust_ me, Cassandra.” Ellana replied in a low voice. “I've done this before.” The Seeker rose a brow, and then looked to Solas. 

“What pray tell is she talking about Solas?”

“Why do you assume I would know such things?” Cassandra gave him a withering look.

“Aren't you two—well—a _couple_?”

“And _why_ does everyone assume that?” Solas asked. 

“Don't look now, but here comes the shit show.” Ellana announced and her two companions paused to see the Templars being lead by Lord Seeker Lucius. They were covered in armor from head to toe, branding their clad silver protective covering. Lucius was headed to the stage in a beeline and Ellana decided to make her move.

It was after all, now or never.

“The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this, “Inquisition,” and the people will be safe once more.” 

The people gasped when a Templar lead by Lucius was ordered to prepare to knock the Revered Mother to the floor. Yet what the people were gasping was not because of the Templar but rather because a fade-stepping Ellana slipped between them and stopped the blow short. Hevara gave a startled jump and backed away from Ellana. Sputtering at the idea that she would have been knocked out by the very men she sought protection from had it not been for the Herald's timely intervention. 

The Templar behind went to step forward but Lucius stopped him. 

“Still yourself, Barris She is beneath us.” He said unaware of the interruption. 

“How dare you! Have you lost your minds!” Hevara cried out and the Lord Seeker growled. 

He had specifically told his men to muzzle the damned wench and she was still barking at them! Lucius turned to gaze with a sneer only to stop to see the Herald of Andraste now in the center of the stage fighting off one of his men. 

Or struggling to rather.

Apparently she did not know how resistant to magic they were at this time. Red Lyrium did wonders--Even a little intake proved to be vastly superior. 

The Lord Seeker had heard stories of the Heralds power and yet by the looks of it--the poor little girl was squirming about. Lighting refusing to be summoned on command. She was but a fake. Rumored tales did not bold well in his eyes.

“Really _Cassandra_ ,” Lucius began as he crossed arms behind his back. “Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet. You should be ashamed. You should _**all**_ be ashamed! As you can see, the Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages!” 

“Your stupidity caused this to happen.” Ellana grit out and the Lord Seeker laughed at her attempts to seem innocent. “Don't mock me, I know the truth. _**Demon**_ .” The crowd gasped at her claim. 

Cassandra was now rubbing the bridge of her nose.  
This was not how she wanted this to happen.  
Mahanon – she should have brought Mahanon after all. She should have known Evelyn was too dangerous to be trusted with an assignment. 

Mages and Templars never mixed well together.

Damn it all. “The Inquisition only seeks to end this madness before it is too late!” Cassandra spoke out in hopes to settle the storm but Lucius shook his head.

“It is already too late—Your Herald has made an attempt to claim the life of one of my men. She needs to be put down like the abomination she is!” More gasps sounded out as the sound of blades being drawn rang out at his command.

“She was protecting me from your rabid dogs!” Hevara shouted as she took a step forward in defense of Ellana. “The Templars have gone too far under your command!” The Revered Mother was now rallying the people with her. “This is an outrage Lord Seeker! You need to be stripped of power! Where is Lambert?”

Lucius grinned, he took a step forward. Rose his hand up and slapped the Revered Mother across the face. She fell to her knees, holding her cheek in shock.

“I have taken command permanently.” He told her as he grabbed her by the arm and threw her off the stage. “The only one who demands respect is me.”

With this revelation in mind – a sudden whiplash of energy appeared. 

A Fade Rift had opened and on the outside of it – the one who commanded it to appear with a glowing resolve of power—Ellana. 

The mage had called forth old spells from an aged lifetime.  
For she had not always been a Knight Enchanter. 

It was only after losing her arm that she was forced upon such a role. 

Her true calling had always and would always be that of Rift Magic. 

One taught by her very past Hahren.

Solas.

He had initially sealed the power from her when he had stripped her left arm from body.  
Ellana had discovered this world-shattering truth when she had tried to summon its power upon leaving to Tevinter.  
It had struck a major blow and when she sought her Vhenan in the fade – he appeared only to tell her the truth. 

Solas did not wish her to fight him and to ensure such situation would never arise he thus placed a lock on her. Disabling her most powerful ability from mind.

Ellana truly did not expect her magic to respond when she reached out to it. But it did as she cast out her left arm and called forth ancient knowledge. It moved almost instantly- pulsing and hissing in the air around it. The energy began to pull and grasp, sucking those around its aura into its web. The Templar has pulled away from her at that moment and thrown into its comrades like a worn out rag doll. 

Ellana brought her left arm close to her chest. The Fade Rift snapping shut at her command. Ellana felt rejuvenated at the feeling of renewed magic coursing through her. Her body tingling with excitement upon knowing that she was truly back. 

Fen'Harel be damned.

With a clenched right fist, Ellana turned towards Lucius with a grin. She was practically glowing and he was furious. After all, she had just humiliated them all in front of their so-called people.

“I believe what you meant to say was that you _wish_ for them to demand your respect.” She stated. “But that will never truly happen now, will it, _**Envy**_ ?”

The Templars would have pushed forward, but Lucius halted their movements with one hand signaling to leave them be. He would not have a puppet foiling his plans. “I said I _**know**_ the truth--The truth of the Rite and its Seekers.”

“What are you talking about girl?” Lucius asked, chuckling. “Spreading such nonsense will do you no good. Did you lose your mind when you were locked in that tower?” He approached the unchained Circle Mage with little interest. “A bunch of hogwash and fairy tales will get you nowhere _**abomination**_ .”

“Is that _jealousy_ I hear? It sure sounds like it. Looks like someone is slipping up and its certainly not _me_.” 

Ellana watched as Envy cracked under the statement. It growled and pulled forward, grabbing hold of the collar of her shirt.

“I will end you.” It sneered and before Ellana could react she was pulled into the void. Or at least what Ellana felt was the void. 

“What the _**hell**_?” Ellana questioned. 

Ellana had not anticipated this to happen. She was now in some sort of wasteland but upon looking around, the fade nipped at her sides. Ellana had to blink in surprise when she has whisked away towards what appeared to be the ruins of a great hold. 

Skyhold – now overgrown and withered.  
Ellana sucked in her breath at the sight. 

This is when Solas had genuinely begun to lose his mind. This was also when she was forced into hiding. When he became so obsessed with concealing his heart in order to prevent the Creators or Evanuris rather from finding her.

Ellana would not disband the Inquisition. 

No matter how many times he pleaded and thus, in the end, sought to break its existence himself. 

With starting the War. 

Solas had done the unthinkable and attacked Skyhold after promising to not. He had told her Skyhold washers and then of course when Ellana was not there – Solas had stabbed her in the back and twisting it so cruelly forcing her to return to _**this**_ .

Ellana felt tears running down her face at the reminder of what she was about to see once she approached the entrance. It was a slow pace this time around--not the giddy one she held when climbed the path the first time. 

Much to her horror the sight still remained.

Josephine, Cullen, and Leliana.

All three of her consultant's corpses. 

Hung broken from dangled nooses--

Left as a reminder to not disobey the Dread Wolf again. 

Ellana jumped at the sound of a gasp, she whirled to see Solas standing behind her – dressed in what he wore during their kiss shared at Winter Palace. A cruel smile displayed on his lips, an image of Fen'Harel flashed before her-- tormenting her still even now. 

“Is this shape useful, will it let me know you?” The Envy demon asked, “Everything tells me about you. So will this: watch.” Ellana bit her lip upon having to tolerate the demon in Solas's body call forth three ice spears. Without any warning, Solas slung it towards the bodies in the distance. Their screams Ellana imagined were silenced by the instant blow to each chest. 

Ellana swallowed roughly. 

There was a period of time that Ellana had wished that she could have spared them from such a cruel fate. Had she been there at the time? Even in her weakened state perhaps she could have at least summoned enough magic to spare her past companions such a savage fate. 

Instead of simply leaving them in their perpetual agony. 

“Are you trying to tempt me or copy me?” Ellana managed as she fought back its rigorous will.

“Are you trying to copy me?” It echoed back in her voice, mockingly. 

It was a truly odd feeling to have Solas ridicule her, which was unusual considering, but thankfully the demon slunk away into the shadows leaving Ellana to give breath from madness. 

That was however until another laugh appeared and besides her stood that of Fen'Harel. The very one she had come to know and fear. He was dressed in his--what Sera called to be Elven Glory and what Dorian described to have gone from rag to riches. Robes of the finest silk. Nothing at all from the hobo apostate she had initially come to know. 

Ellana felt her body freeze when Envy had placed Fen'Harel's arms around her. Capturing her in an embrace from behind. There was a kiss placed on her neck and as soon as it landed, Ellana reeled away by using her right elbow to slam the demon in the gut. Only to have it disappear and reappear across from her. “Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker. Do you know what the Inquisition can become with your knowledge? You'll see...When I'm done, the Elder one will kill you and ascend. Then _I_ will _**be**_ you.” 

“You know Corypheus will fail. The Power that belongs to him, the orb—It is not _his_ to gain from.”

The Envy demon raised a hand to Fen'Harel's mouth and laughed. 

“Corypheus knows of the Dread Wolf. He does not fear such a weakened entity. Glory is coming, and the Elder One wants you to do him a favor and die. What have you got to lose? Your task is to make sure the Veil does not fall and if you die here than there will be no one to stop Corypheus reign. This world will continue its life. Isn't that what you wanted?”

“ _No_.” Ellana hissed. “I would rather Fen'Harel's world then Corypheus's corrupted one any day. At least the few are free, but in Corypheus's world, no one would be free. Only death and despair awaits.“

“Tell me, what have you seen to know all this?” Ellana smiled at the demon's curiosity. So it did not know everything about her as it claimed. This had been a ploy to get deeper into her mind. Well then, let the chess game begin.

“Oh you know this and that. Keep talking and you might find out...Maybe, you know, if I _feel_ like telling you.” The Envy demon's smirk fell instantly and with a growl, it disappeared into a puff of smoke. When it returned, it was now displaying an apostate hobo before her in Fen'Harel's wake. This she could handle.

“I am not your toy! I am Envy, and I will know you. Tell me, _Trespasser,_ in your mind.” It walked beside her and stabbed a shadow of Dorian in the back. His blood spilling onto tiled floors. “Tell me, what you think.” Ellana grits her teeth, but held firm. “Tell me what you feel.” It asked, now appearing at her bedside in Skyhold.

The memory of how Solas had surrendered to her. 

It was a lie!  
She should have known!  
A lie to get behind enemy lines and reactivate Morrigan's mirror.  
To let his people in and take over while she was unsuspecting. 

And she had let him in!  
It was a mistake!  
He had swooned her and taken her to bed in his arms. 

Their lovemaking-- She thought it was real! 

Only a ploy!

A _**fucking**_ ploy!

**A chance to strike her down.**

Ellana closed her eyes, tears springing up at the reminder of what was lost. 

Only to have her gasp out in pain as the Envy demon in Solas's form went from behind to stab her in the stomach. 

****Ultimately killing what would be their unborn child.** **

****_He didn't know._ ** **

****Ellana never said.** **

She was going to tell him from once she returned from Tevinter but by then the deed was done. 

****He _ **didn't**_ know. ** **

Solas only did it as a way to capture her – to stop her from fighting back. 

It would have been a foolproof plan had it not been for Bull and his Chargers to be close behind. 

Dorian did not heed her calls to trust her with Solas.  
He had secretively sent his Amatus out to keep an eye on her. 

She never suspected it and it was a good thing too because with rallied cries Bull and his Chargers removed her from the Dread Wolves claws and managed to retreat and hide her away before he managed to summon his force to stop them. 

Bull took Ellana to a healer he had known whenever he had visited when he crossed borders to visit Dorian. It was a long journey but having Dalish use her magic for the first time in centuries had helped. It sustained the Inquisitor's wounds long enough to keep Ellana going in the war. However – the babe arrival – was too late to be saved and the Inquisitor...Was forced to mourn when she awoke. 

Ellana paled when she was now standing across from that shadowed version of herself.  
**Knife in hand.**  
Ellana quickly dropped the blade in an instant feeling squeamish. “Tell me what you see.”  
Envy whispered as it disappeared into a fog and a door appeared – Beckoning her forward. 

With little choice, Ellana pushed through it, plunging further and further into her deepest nightmares. 

Dorian, dear sweet Dorian. He was standing with his back towards her. She knew he was crying, but she could say nothing to comfort him. 

**This was all her fault.**

The Iron Bull had died protecting her from the man she loved. 

The Dread Wolf had transformed and sniffed her out. 

****It seemed he had discovered that she was pregnant by then.** **

Solas was a teetering thin line when Iron Bull decided to give Solas mercy and blame himself for the death of their unborn child. He had made up a story about working for the Qunari all along to which Solas bared his teeth and the two clashed in what would be a bloodied battle forgotten within the ashes of the burning kingdom once known as Tevinter. 

“ _ **Kill me.**_ ” He begged, stunning her. “Kill me so I can join my Amatus. There is nothing left for me here Ellana. Give me a clean death before that _mongrel_ of yours comes after it. I would not let Solas have such an honor.” He pulled an amulet from his pocket – it glowed briefly. “I am not strong enough to endure this hardship again. _Please_ Ellana, take this, and fix this world before it sees ruin.” 

Ellana nodded, taking the Amulet from his hands before slipping it into her bag. Once she had done so, the sound of a wolves howls echoed through the halls behind. 

Solas was approaching. 

“ _ **Do it**_ .” Dorian commanded, and Ellana would not falter twice. 

Not after Skyhold. 

She closed her eyes and summoned a spell. Ellana cast the spell out and proceeded to end the life of the Bravest Man she had ever come to know. 

Ellana inhaled a sharp gasp--Her mind swimming as she stood in front of herself. Or rather Envy's shadow of herself. 

Scout Harding stood beside that shadow smirking cruelly. 

“Our enemies have surrendered unconditionally. The Inquisition's strength rivals any kingdom in Thedas.” 

The shadow of herself turned to Harding and gloated about how their reach matches her ambition. That they would even soon strive for more. Ellana scoffed. 

“Is imitating what you can't have your only pleasure, _Demon_?” 

“Accusing...Trying to find my weakness. Is that the woman you are?” It questioned before lifting its head back, and laughing in delight before once again disappearing this time in a burst of flames. 

Ellana continued on, running through burning villages, and faceless people. 

****It was a nightmare.** **

****This was a nightmare and Ellana didn't know how to escape from it.** **

She had never seen such a thing. Having never confronted the demon in her world. This was all new to her and it certainly was frightening and sickening to swallow. 

“You're hurting, helpless, hasty. What happens to the hammer when there are no more Nails?” A voice asked the Demon. 

A voice she knew well and drank up in pure delight. 

****_**Cole.**_ ** **

_Cole_ was here too. 

“What are you? Get out! This is my place!” Envy screamed- its power over her starting to sizzle upon Cole's interference. 

Ellana didn't know where the spirit was, but she would race to find out. Cole's presence alone gave her new found drive and passion to push forward. Her legs no longer felt dragged and weighted down by past sorrow and now instead felt light and free. It surrounded her and when she turned corner she entered a room which transformed into a balcony. 

******The one back on Skyhold.  
** Her Balcony.  
Her Safe Haven. 

And there he stood in his wonderful state of being. 

****Cole.** **

_“Andaran atish’an.”_ Ellana greeted warmly. Cole tilted his head at her words and Ellana couldn't help but laugh. “It's been a long time - _friend_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Andaran atish’an: A formal elven greeting. Literally: "I dwell in this place of peace."


	14. Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To be Reborn, you need to die first." -Lucien Carr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be some errors. I'm heading out to work so there might issues here and there. I apologize in advance if that becomes the case.

“You know me.” Cole breathed out, he was sitting – perched on the balcony edge. He jumped down and approached her cautiously. He was evaluating and Ellana let him see everything with a soft smile. “You smile but you're in pain. Envy is hurting you. Mirrors of mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy.” 

“Cole, where are we? What is this place? The Fade? The Void? None of it makes sense.” 

“Were _inside_ you. Or _I_ am. You're always inside you.” Ellana felt confused at his words. Inside her - like inside her mind? Is that why past memories were being thrown at her?

“Yes. But I'm here, hearing, helping. I hope. Envy hurt you, _is_ hurting you. I tried to help, you were calling out...So I came.” 

“Thank you, Cole.” Ellana told him while he circled her. “You think I would be able to control my own thoughts in my head.”

Cole paused, laughing.

“It never works like that.”

The sound of a wolf howl, sent chills down Ellana's spine. She glanced behind to where the door frame was. 

Outside she could see a shadowy version of the Dread Wolf pacing with bared teeth, six eyes watching for her to re-emerge, waiting to claim her again. “You shouldn't fear him. You love him. You've always had. I was watching. I watch. You still love him. After everything. You can save him. The Dread Wolf calls to you.” Ellana shifted her gaze back to the floor, he was wrong.

“That _thing_ is not Fen'Harel. That thing is an Envy Demon. It wants to be me.” Cole nodded at her words. 

Cole pulled forward. Evading space, he lifted his right hand up and gently touched the side of her face. Ellana's blue eyes met his cloudy ones in wonderment at the sudden display of affection.

“Yes, good. It twisted your memories. It wants you to hate. But that's not you. You don't hate. You forgive, time and time again. You just wanted him to understand.” Ellana grabbed Cole's right hand with her left. She was shaking at his words. 

He understood.  
Cole was the Spirit of Compassion.  
She did not want him to continue, she knew what it would entail with such a spirit.  
Ellana did not want to forget.

_Again._

Ellana gave a sharp gasp, her brain whirling at a new found revelation.  
Cole.  
It had been Cole.

Cole was the who answered her calls at Fallow Mire.  
She had felt him appear as she was crying bitterly, mourning the loss of fallen comrades. 

Cole had become the beacon of hope. The last thread she could depend on in an emergency. 

' _Cole_.' She breathed, rising from her broken state of mind. Cole had closed the gap and pulled her into a warm embrace. 'You can't stay.' She sobbed. 'I-I can't bear to lose anyone else. Solas. He's not--I don't know what to do. I can't reach him anymore. He won't let me in.'

' _Ellana_ ,' Cole began silencing her sobs. 'I can get you to him. Not in the way he wants you to be but at least you can still salvage this nightmare yet.'

'I don't understand, what are you suggesting?' She asked and he hushed her while brushing fallen tears from face.

'I am Compassion. I will protect you. I have _always_ wanted to protect you. I love you.'

'Cole?' Ellana questioned, he looked like he was crying as well. 'Cole, what are you saying?'

'Please forgive me.' He told her softly, as he pressed lips to her forehead. Her eyes were widening upon recognition but it was too late. Ellana's body was too worn to move from his pulling embrace. His next words entering her mind like a drumming command sending her spirit far, far away. ' _ **Forget**_.'

“ _ **Cole?**_ You--”

“You're right. You need all of you to fight right now. Maybe later.” 

Ellana swallowed at the implication. She would have to be much careful with Cole this time around. He was harmless, sure, but he did have the ability to make it all go away. She just has to make sure that Cole never felt the need to help her in such a way again.

Lost memories severed her more than saving.

“How is everyone outside reacting to this?” Ellana wondered.

“You're frozen. Envy is trying to take your face.”

“But how? How is my body frozen in the waking world? Wouldn't Solas see through it?”

“ _No_. Thoughts are fast. We're here. Outside, the Dread Wolf waits. He is too weakened without his orb. To him a blade is still falling, hanging in the air like a sunset.” Ellana's brow furrowed. 

So she was frozen in time.  
Did that mean she was safe? “ _No_.” Cole answered her again. 

Ellana paled. So her thoughts weren't safe here. He could hear everything. “ **Yes.** I agree it would be good if you got out. Some thoughts are best left unsaid.”

“...So how exactly do I get out of here Cole?” The spirit leads her toward the door where the Dread Wolf still paced. 

“All of this is Envy: People, places, power. If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to push forward. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more the complications occur. You break out.” 

“Sorry, could you simplify that?” Cole nodded, smiling at her disarray.

“Become Trevelyan. Leave Lavellan behind. Block old memories. Unravel new ones. Disconnect memory from the nightmare. Escape.” 

Ellana looked inside herself. Her other mind within her own, Evelyn. A woman who feared no wolves. A woman who simply feared to be rejected by the ones she would come to love. Family rejection burned deep inside. Turmoil welling deep inside as people kept bringing up the fact that she was an icon but truly she was never considered such status. Ellana reached out to the Circle Mage. Huddled in a cornerstone locked deep within the thresholds of her mind. 

Never truly wanting to take over – she had given up long before the fight started but Ellana tapped the woman's shoulder causing a head to glance back. Evelyn's eyes met Ellena's in brewing bewilderment.

“Wake up, Evelyn. I need you.” Evelyn shuddered at the call but she knew this day would come. “Come on, grab my hand. Let's get you up. It's time to show your parents what a Trevelyan can do.” 

 

“That's right.” Evelyn responded, being born anew, back into this dreaded reality. She took Ellana's hand and with it thrown back into this so-called nightmare the Elf was experiencing. “Hello.” She told the spirit. 

Evelyn Trevelyan – was finally reborn.

“Shock. Wonderment. A woman who hid away now faces one of the greatest kind of demons. Yet happiness licks your wounds. Ellana gave you peace.”

Ellana.  
Yes.  
She knew that name.  
Her other self.  
The one who had come to reside along side once the conclave exploded. 

A warm being who would fill her lonely heart and in turn Evelyn accepted the company. Allowing Ellana in and ownership over her body.

Two co-existing spirits melded together to face the same destiny.  
Closing the Breach.

Evelyn pressed forward outside, pushing past the wolf. She didn't care for it. It didn't mean anything to her. Just a silly obstacle in her way. Cole followed behind guiding her through flames. Instructing her to imagine water instead.

It was such an easy thing to do. None of this was real. It was the waking world she could not face, but this, _this_ was silly. An illusion at best. Something her parents conjured up to scare her. Similar to her test to joining the Circle. Evelyn had conquered that too. 

They didn't think she had it in her.  
That showed them.  
She was a Trevelyan after all. 

“That thing can't help you! I _will_ see more!” A voice came. Its command boomed against the walls, and Evelyn simply shrugged it off. Her inner will would not be undone.

The Demon laughed and without any moments notice she was blinded by white light. The sound of a baby's wail came to mind. Another heartbeat that pulsed alongside hers. Tears sprang up and Evelyn had to push them back down.

“Ellana, stop it. _This isn't real._ ” Evelyn sighed but endured the emotions of her ally. She pushed past another displaying scene the Demon presented to her. Claiming allies would curse her name. A farce could not keep her still.

“None of this is real unless you let it be.” Cole echoed alongside her as if to keep her motivation locked into place. 

“Get out, _thing_! I am learning.” 

Evelyn moved forward. A shadow form of hers was currently looming over a standing Revered Mother, Giselle. It was taunting the woman – all the while posing as her. “What do you say to your crimes, heretic?”

“This is a farce, I demand justice!” 

“Have it.” It told her laughing, “Take her to the gallows with the others.” 

The demon glanced in her direction as if waiting for a response. Evelyn rolled her eyes and kept going. Pushing the shadow figure out of the way, smoke and mirrors. 

Smoke and mirrors.  
A chant she could tell herself to survive.

Up ahead she stopped at an unlit Brazier. Cole still ever so close.

“It's dark, but it isn't real. Think of sparks. Bend magic to cause.”

Evelyn nodded, looking down at her hands. She knew fire. The fire had been her element of choice.  
Within a second, her right hand glowed warmly. An orange mixed red and white light began to take shape and then there was a flame so bright it illuminated the area around them. Evelyn lit the brazier and with it another path opened.

“Keep going up.” Cole instructed, pushing her up the stairs. “You're more you then you are Envy, and that tires it out.”

“Good.” She told him, as they kept going on through this maze. “I think.” When they reached the top of the stairs and opened the door. She was blinded again by that light. 

And now she was in a forest.  
So they escaped?  
Evelyn felt pleased with herself, she went to call Ellana back out, but Cole's hand grasped her right wrist and pulled it forward.

“Not yet. Still in the maze. Don't stop now. You're doing so well Evelyn! So strong! Amazing and beautiful!”

Evelyn felt herself blush at his words. It had been a long time since anyone had praised her. She was an abomination – a monster. If Unchained she would create havoc upon this world.

Cole lead her through a burning city.  
This, she knew this. Even if it was Ellana's memory.  
Val Royeaux was being consumed by flames!

“Why invade Orlais?” She found herself questioning to no one in particular. Cole glanced back at her with a growing grin.

“So your curious?” The Demon greedily asked. It had been eagerly waiting for her to say something. Anything. This world had started to become suffocating. “Shall I make use of that when I'm you?”

“You're letting the Herald see more to sketch her shape, but what she sees makes her stronger.” 

“Quiet!” It roared, and Evelyn laughed. “I said quiet!”

“Come, Evelyn, the end of the road yet awaits.” Cole said to her, and she met his smile with her own. 

“Yes.”

With that he led her out, out into the open world and she took it with strides. 

“Herald!” Ellana heard Casandra's voice. Cassandra was now shaking her, and others had gathered around her. Ellana swallowed. She was out, free. Evelyn had gone and she was back in her place.

“Envy? The demon where is it?” She questioned whilst looking for him, Cole. But the boy was nowhere in sight. Gone from minds eyes. 

“It fled.” Solas told her. 

“Did you see Cole?” She questioned, forgetting where she was. When she was. Solas raised a brow. 

“Cole?” He echoed back at her as if it should have some meaning to him. Her eyes widened for a moment and then she looked away from the apostate. Somewhat ashamed for losing herself.

“Nothing, never mind.” She turned toward Cassandra and let the woman guide her down the stage. Ellana felt wobbly. This body acting out of sync with her. Probably because of Evelyn's brief return.

“I'm sorry Cassandra. An Envy Demon replaced the Lord Seeker.” Cassandra shook her head, and sighed.

“Then the Lord Seeker...” 

“Here let me take her.” Solas offered, and Cassandra passed Evelyn to the apostate. Letting the Circle mage sling over the apostate's shoulder. There was a grunt and Evelyn laughed.

“Sorry, I guess I'm heavier then I look.”

“Or Cassandra's just happens to be a bit stronger than I am.” He snipped and she giggled. She had missed this Solas. She found herself snuggling into his neck, and he groaned. “Evelyn doesn't make me drop you.”

“Oh Solas,” She chided, “Don't treat me like that. I just went through hell in back in my own mind.”

“Are you alright?” He questioned, now sounding earnestly concerned for her well being.

“Will you kiss me if I say no?” He growled, and she laughed. “Relax, I was only joking...” She told him, and as she talked to him, her eyes started to feel heavy. 

“Evelyn?” He questioned, as she started to feel lighter and lighter. 

“Come now...Why must you always be so serious...” Her voice now dropping a couple octaves in a bare whisper. Solas paused, and set her down. Putting the mage, up, leaning, against a wall. She was sweating profusely. She was just fine moments ago.

He reached out and touched her forehead. Evelyn was burning up.  
Fever. Just like before.  
Hinterlands. 

Her eyes were foggy, and her gaze swimming around confused. 

“ _Evelyn_ , _**Evelyn**_ look at me.” Solas commanded, he was now grasping her shoulders. Demanding attention. At this rate she would lose consciousness.

He had been too hard on her. She just fought off a very powerful demon. “Evelyn _please_ , you must stay awake. I _care_ about you.”

Within a snap second, her eyes focused. Eyes becoming sharp like a dragon as they honed in on him, angrily. 

“Don't act like you care, _**Fen'Harel**_.” Evelyn snapped coldly. "You've hurt _Ellana_ more than help."

Solas felt breath sucked from the body but he wasn't able to respond to her unnerving claim, for within that minute, her body fell forward. Head crashing into his right shoulder. 

" _Evelyn?_ " Soals called, feeling more afraid in his life then ever before. " _Evelyn_!"

But she would not respond.

Unconscious. 

Evelyn had fainted.


	15. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flirting with death is the spice of life. - Margaret M. Lock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I really had trouble with this one. I had so many ideas and so many different directions to go with it but this was the final choice. Hopefully, you'll like it!  
> Sorry in advance! =)

“I don't understand Solas. I thought she was immortal?” Cassandra's voice came, sounding awfully frustrated.  
“She is. Should be.” Solas answered back. “I don't know the cause. She doesn't appear to be ill, but the fever comes and goes as it pleases.”

What's this now? Ellana wondered as she rose from a bed. Her right hand rubbing her head. She didn't remember what happened. Apparently, she had become the talk of the town. To Solas and Cassandra, at least. They were talking about her just beyond the door. Where am I? Are we still in Val Royeaux?

This room looked fancy enough. Considering the cream polished couch sitting against the wall. The golden embroidered royal blue curtains and who could forget the classy chandelier. Ellana even started to play with the see-through white silken canopy bed curtains with a smile. It was all a little over the top. 

“The Templars have decided to march to Therinfal Redoubt. I do hope you have plans to make arrangements with them as soon as possible dear.” 

Ellana felt her head snap toward the door. 

Vivienne? 

“Ah yes. We thank you for your enduring hospitality _Madam de Fer._ ” Cassandra said sounding quite bashful. 

“Vivienne is just fine dear. When I heard that the Herald was in peril – I couldn't resist the opportunity to help out such a wonderful person.”

“Sounds like you meant to swoop in like a vulture and take advantage of the Herald's illness. Tell me, Enchanter, what are your true intentions?”

Ellana nearly ripped the curtains from seeming when she heard Solas's antagonizing voice. 

Solas and Vivienne had quite the extravagant relationship. Ellana was surprised when they didn't hear her, but then again when the two of them went at it...Nothing could stop them. Firecrackers waiting to explode. Hell--Ellana could already feel the tension between the two seeping through under the door crack. Poor Cassandra too. The Seeker never seemingly able to catch a break – always the odd one out.

“Tut tut tut. Such a charming little _thing_ , aren't you? _Solas_ is it? You don't seem to understand basic concepts so let me explain to you, my dear. Us _circle mages_ , we stick together. I don't expect an _apostate_ to know such things. You are one aren't you?” She asked with hidden mirth in her tone. 

“Oh and how could you ever come to such a conclusion?” Solas asked sarcastically. Ellana could practically see the venom dripping from his voice.

“Your clothes for one year. Simply put you reek of _horseshit_ but don't worry your pretty little head off–your in good company now. I shall have one of my people escort you to the baths as soon as possible.” 

“And we appreciate your company!” Cassandra chipped in before Solas could make his retort. “Come to Madam de Fer! Let us talk more about the Inquisition! I would like it very much so if you would assist us in our progress!” 

It was then that she could hear their footsteps hastily being lead away. Ellana sighed releasing her clutched hands from the curtains. At least they weren't completely torn off. Still hanging albeit more like dangling but at least they still served their purpose.

That was until Solas appeared through the door. Ellana had attempted to jerk back into bed to pretend she was still sleeping but instead ending up falling forward, pulling the sheets from seeming complete. Ellana groaned and when she removed them off her – Solas stood to hover over, curious.

“You've been awake.” It was a statement. 

Solas helped her to her feet. “How are you feeling?” He questioned and before she could respond his right hand was on her forehead, checking her temperature. She swatted his hand away in embarrassment.

“I'm fine, really.” She told him, although it looked like he didn't buy it. “ _Really._ I'm quite alright Solas.”

“What do you last remember?” She blinked at the question. Why was he asking her that? She studied him and then a shiver ran through her. 

The way that he was, something was off.

“Why?” She inquired back and his eyes seemed to wander from hers. He was now gathering the sheets from the floor and setting them back on the bed. Folding them over very slowly.

It was then that Ellana knew to be on guard.  
Solas was avoiding her gaze.  
The Wolf was about, testing her in his stead.

“Curious is all.” He responded now back facing her. She was sure he was grinning and Ellana hated it. She hated this side of him. Ellana felt her fingertips numb, aching, she wanted to take a step forward and attack. Ellana could feel as if something or someone was pulling her to complete such tasks. An invisible silhouette leaning into her, whispering. 

Pin him.  
Summon a blade.  
Plunge it into his chest.  
Kill the Dread Wolf.  
It would be easy.

“I asked you why you were being so serious...” Ellana quickly responded, pushing away such malice thoughts. 

There was no need to go with such a hasty route.  
This required _patience._  
She needed to have _patience._

She could win them over. There was hope yet.  
All she had to do was side-step Fen'Harel's interrogation. 

“And nothing else?” He pressed smoothly as his gaze finally met hers. His eyes were hazy yet unknown ambition sparked within them She tilted her head, feigning innocents.

“Did something happen?” She questioned, knowing clearly something had. She just wanted him to come out. She was practically baiting him. The Wolf's presence alone made it hard to breathe.

“What are your beliefs?” He detoured and Ellana had no choice but to follow it. One wrong move could put her into Wolf's jaws.“You are an Elf are you not? What do you believe of the Evanuris? Do you think them to be gods?” Ellana laughed.

“There are no such things as gods. Just people. People with power, a lot of it.” She replied carefully and the Dread wolf hummed in response. That he was going into such topics was unnerving enough. She watched as he plopped down on the bed and smirked.

“And what about the Dread Wolf? What is your take on Fen'Harel?” Ellana swallowed roughly. Now she was running away. Moving over to the cream couch and brushing fingertips against smooth edges. Her magic ready to run free if need be. She might need to since his gaze was such a piercing thing.

“I wouldn't say the Dread Wolf is criminal.” She managed eyes never moving from the couch. “He saved his people by locking away the Evanuris. The creators had imprisoned the elves. The Vallaslin shows to which who belongs to whom.”

She heard a creak from the bed and looked toward the noise. He was in front of her. Looking down on her, practically pushing her into the couch. Trapping her under his sharp tantalizing gaze.

“How could _you_ know such a thing?”

“I read about it.” She lied promptly, her face warm from their proximity. 

The Dread Wolf really had no boundaries when it came to personal space. He was observing her then, obviously, she confused him. Solas always claimed that he had never met anyone like her before. So going toe to toe with her must have been such a dreadful thing. “In a book.” She added coyly. She could see the way his fingertips tensed and creased the couch beneath them.

“A book where? Ancient knowledge should be brought to the attention of the mass--should it not?”

“It should but its gone now. It was in the Conclave.” She told him and waited for him to understand her meaning. His face quickly contorted into frustration and he finally stalked away from her. Leaving her to sink into the couch to gather her skipping beat. She watched as he grabbed hold of the bedpost growling.

“You mean the very Conclave that blew up.”

“Yes,” She replied before standing up and moving behind him. He whirled to face her. Eyes burning.

“What a coincidence, wouldn't you say?” He bit out.

“A tragic one. Why are you acting like this Solas?” She finally managed to ask him. He blinked at her words, brows furrowing. He expected her to know so she had to act like she didn't. Innocent until proven guilty. “Did something happen?” She reached out to him and touched his shoulder gently with her right hand. 

Her touch startled him. She watched with fascination as he looked down at her hand, absorbing before raising his eyes back to her. 

Calm and collective. “Solas?”

“ _Yes_?”

“Are you alright? You're worrying me.” He smiled at her words. His smile, gentle and kind.

“Perhaps I should take up the First Enchanter's offer.” He told her, using his left hand to rub his head. “A cold bath would do wonders on the nerves.” He took a step back, causing her hand to fall away but Ellana would not let him escape. 

Now it was her time to trap him.  
Ellana pressed forward and used her left hand to feel his forehead. He froze at the contact, blushing when she had him against the bedpost.

“Are you getting sick? From my fever perhaps?”

“ _Me?_ Get _sick?_ ” He sounded so insulted. She laughed at this and as she did, his face turned scarlet.

“But Solas,” She began still laughing a bit, “Your face is so red!” She exclaimed while inching closer and closer to him on purpose. Acting like it was simply an innocent gesture to get a better look at him.

“It-It's not. I-I don't get sick.” He stuttered out as a matter of factually. Her proximity starting to get to him.

“But,” She began, biting her lip teasingly, “If you're not sick then why are you so red?” She wondered before daring to let her eyes flick down below. “...Are you horny Solas?”

“ _ **No.**_ ” He responded weakly, and her smile grew at the sight.

“Your boner betrays you Solas.”

He was glaring then.  
The sourpuss. “I can help you if you want.” She tried, right hand falling to something rock hard. Solas moaned before shaking his head and pushing past her. Away. Fleeing. 

Ellana rolled her eyes.  
Always the difficult one. “A cold shower won't help with that.” She called to him, as his hand was on the door. “A mouth will.” He paused and glanced back at her, brow raised. “ _Fenedhis lasa?_ ”

He was considering it.  
Good.

“Evelyn!” Cassandra's voice came, the Seeker opened the door with such a force that it slammed into the unsuspecting Solas's face. Ellana cringed slightly at the sight. “Good, you're up! You must meet with Madam de Fer! She said she would consider joining the Inquisition but requested an audition with you.” Cassandra paused. “Where is Solas?”

Ellana wanted to point at him but then the fact that Cassandra might see – well she wanted Solas to like her not hate. Ellana waved her right hand in dismissal.

“Oh something about taking up an offer for a bath.”

“ _Really?_ I thought he hated her...I can never tell him.” She said but in truth, the Seeker was usually always dead on with her suspicions. “But in any case. She's waiting and I don't want to be late. It's been the first time anyone actually approached us about joining so willingly. We shouldn't keep her waiting! She has a lot of power on the court. It would be wonderful to have her. I just don't want to waste the opportunity. I'm rambling again, aren't I?”

Ellana smiled. 

Cassandra was truly the best. Ellana approached the Seeker and placed right hand on left shoulder, squeezing.

“It will be alright. Vivienne is a _friend._ ” With that, she tapped the Seekers shoulder and strode past her. “So which way am I going?” Cassandra rolled her eyes, grunting in disgust before closing the door behind them. 

Not even once realizing that Solas had been there all along. 

“This way. To Madam de Fer.”

“To Madam de _Ferocious._ ”

“Ugh.”


	16. The Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others." - Mustafa Kemal Ataturk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Will be MIA for a week since my sister is having a wedding and I have to fly to DC

Vivienne.

Just beyond those doors. 

Cassandra had brought Ellana to the main ballroom where a full-scale dining party was currently underway. The classical music played heavenly in the background while lively chatter brushed between it disrupting the soft melody whenever Ellana focused to listen in on the hub-bub. 

The two of them stood in front of the main entrance waiting to be addressed through the roll call. Dukes and Duchesses passing by hand and hand as they were called in. Some wearing over zealous hats and others wearing golden laced masks to hide identity. To become anonymous in a sea of political squander. 

Countess and Counts were observing the two as well. From raised eyebrows to mirthful smiles. Cassandra and Lavellan certainly were the odd ones out dressed in battle ready armor. Cassandra in her Seeker armor and Ellana in a refined battlemage coat. They also carried their weapons a suit that which none of the other members of the parties seemed to hold onto. The giggling countesses that passed them wore gowns of gold mixed with blue linens. A girdle to appear thinner than actual form. 

 

Ellana didn't know what to expect. She hadn't attended an actual party in years and her game in the matter was a little off when it came to addressing the finer life. Besides her, Cassandra was straightening her breast piece and muttering about how awkward this was for her. Ellana decided to lead Cassandra off, their name was far down the list so they had time to chat. 

“Cassandra maybe I ought to do this alone.” Ellana told the fidgeting Seeker. Cassandra shook her head, insisting. 

“I can do this. I'm used to this. My family had kept me locked up for years to live this life. I just wish I could be dressed a little better. But I can do this. What about you – are you going to be alright? So many people...” Ellana felt a twinge in her heart at the question. 

She was speaking of Evelyn and the Circle Mage's background, Lavellan was sure of it. Yet the emotion that stirred in her was one of an old memory. 

_'If you're going to dance, stop acting so damn stiff. Don't think I've forgotten how well you danced at Winter Palace,_ _**Vhenan.**_ _Surely you're doing this on purpose.'_ Fen'Harel whispered hotly as he tried to lead her again. His hands around her waist. Only to have her trip up on him and having him deal with catching her from falling. He glared darkly at her wordless reply. Lavellan could not find it in her heart to dance with him again. It wasn't the same. It was hard to follow his movements with only one arm. Ellana glanced around to see the eyes of the people judging her. Laughing at her inability to keep up with the Dread Wolf. 

He was always one step ahead, out of reach. Lavellan couldn't stand the humidity. She was not fit for him. With fluttering eyes, she tried to cast her gaze down away. Looking at his feet in hopes to find balance but it only made her dazed. Another slip ensured and it caused her to collapse into his chest. The two hit the marble flooring with a thud. There were a couple of gasps and before the Dread Wolf could snap his gaze angrily at her again, Ellana was pushing away from him. She turned to run, only to have path blocked by an audience. 

She endured their hardened stares. They would not yield to her, and she felt herself summoning magic to her tips. If she had to fight through them she would. She was the god damned Inquisitor and she would teach them to laugh at –

Ellana halted when she felt the Dread Wolf ring his left arm around her. Pulling her back against him. _'Where do you think you're going Vhenan?'_ He purred out as his right hand stroked her right cheek. _'The party is not done until you are withering beneath me.'_ Lavellan's eyes widened when his right hand landed on her neck tightly. Squeezing not enough to cause harm but just enough to yank her forward, and drop to the floor on her knees. The sudden slam causing her to wince. Her left cheek now pressed against the floor. Fen'Harel was proving his dominance over her and the people shamefully loved him for it. 

He was a monster who smiled at her weakness. A shell of the man she used to know. 

Power had corrupted him and he had become a man who loved to display it whenever possible. He was nothing from the Solas she knew. This Dread Wolf brought her close to his manhood in a visualized display that was degrading enough. Straddling her as the people cheered at her broken state. Ellana felt hot warm tears cascading down from her face. 

_'Damn it!' She cried out bitterly as the cheering continued._

Her right hand twitched when his left hand went from waist to cupping breast. _' Don't fight it, just moan for me Vhenan, moan and let them know who you belong to.'_

 _'Take deep breaths dear.'_ Vivienne's voice came, shutting senses off. Ellana's right eye widened taking in the form. A ghost of fading memories. Vivienne stood, right hand on her staff towering over her with mocking gaze. _'I taught you better than this darling. Focus your magic. Feed on the anger but don't let it control you. You control it._ ' Ellana took a deep breath and a sensation shot through her left arm. _'Remember what I taught you...When against the odds, create an escape. Magic lets you do that darling. Magic is everything. Magic is what sets us apart from the rest and magic is also the tool we use to cut our predators down.'_

Ellana's gaze quickly sharpened. Right hand bending into a claw as she scrapped it across the floor, summoning winter chill to assist her. Within that moment an ice wall shot out from the ground and captured Fen'Harel in its grasp. Ellana didn't know where the urge came from but she would wield it to cause. Ellana twisted her body right, white locks swishing in the air as she jerked free of his disgraceful hands from breast.

 _'I belong to no one!'_ She cried out, as she managed to take control of her unholy existence. It was enough to channel all the hate swirling inside her into left hand. A spirit sword now luminating and extending where stump ended and with it she pierced through the wall, into the chest of Fen'Harel.

Blood spewed from his lips onto her face. His eyes widen at her eagle-eyed gaze of vindicating retaliation towards his actions. 

Vivienne had been the first of her companions to die. 

At Ellana's hands no less. 

It was her final lesson and yet everything had come together that day. For she had ascended into the role of Knight Enchanter.

The blade wound Fen'Harel had recovered from. It didn't strike dead in the heart as Vivienne's wound did. He was much taller but the scar remained as a nightmare that she was still a monster in her own ways as well. She expected Fen'Harel then and there to transform and kill her that night. Instead, she was plagued with mercy when his bloodied lips descended upon hers with a crushing smile.

Her magic fled from her instantly as he called out her name and she sunk into the bliss allowing him to devour her whole. The audience be damned. This, however, was also the first and the last time Fen'Harel would allow her to attend a party again. She was deemed untrained and unfitting for such roles.

“Evelyn?” Cassandra called, memories fleeing visual and replaced with the sound of glass being brought together in blissful congrats. Ellana blinked when she found herself inside the halls they were just moments ago waiting outside. Everything somehow becoming blank to mind's eye. “Are you alright? You just started coughing so violently.”

“I did?” Ellana questioned. The thought and visual of it no ability to grasp. It did not make any sense. Cassandra pushed a wine glass into her hands, nodding.

“Drink, it will do you some good...It's water Evelyn-- Stop looking at me like that. I'm not Varric.” Ellana blushed, bringing the glass to lips and swallowing. It was just so odd. She couldn't recall what happened and it gave her a headache to even trying to resolve what should be such a simple task.

“Are you sure this is water?” Cassandra scowled.

“Do you really think I would give you anything else?” Cassandra questioned, suddenly feeling on edge. Ellana shook her head.

“Relax, I was joking Cassandra.” Cassandra was too gullible for her own good. It was almost counter-productive so Ellana always had to reassure her that it was just in jest.

“Evelyn, I'm serious. I thought we had become closer...Like friends.”

“Cassandra we've _always_ been friends. Even before we met.” Ellana added without thinking. 

“Ah, good.” Cassandra replied, blushing a bit. “I was hoping that was indeed the case. Evelyn, I know this is out of the blue but is it okay if I ask you something personal about you if in exchange I tell you something about me?”Ellana felt her brow raised at the question but nodded. If the question for her was too personal Ellana could always slip away into the crowd. “Well first, do you remember what I was telling you about my past experiences. Well, my brother, his name is Anthony..." 

"Oh?"

"He died Evelyn... _Anthony_ was killed by a _**mage**_.”

Ellana felt her mouth dry at Cassandra's words. The Seeker took a shot from a tray that was resting on the serving table beside them and held it to her lips. She indulged the drink before setting the empty shot glass down and shaking her head. The Seeker then shifted her gaze on Ellana. “I held it against you in the beginning. For that, I am truly sorry. I see now that mages are not all bad. Solas, and you, although albeit annoying at times, you two have become my pillars towards a greater role. I hope someday to assess that role into becoming Divine. I hope that you will come to cheer me on as you always have.”

Ellana swallowed. Her hands gripping her glass tightly. She turned to set it on top of the very same serving table they were now standing idly by. Behind the table, people danced and danced to the music around them. A water fountain in the center, displaying a statue of the deceased Divine Justinia herself looking down at them with a pleasant gaze.  
“Cassandra...” Ellana began but didn't know where to continue onto. The truth was, in the end, Ellana would choose Liliana as the role because Cassandra was called to a higher purpose. One the Seeker had no knowledge of at the moment. To reform the Seekers and repent for the Order of Fiery Promise. To make things right. But how just how--was she supposed to tell Cassandra that? 

“Evelyn. I understand.” Ellana felt her eyes raise to Cassandra's stormy ones. The Seeker was now speaking in a bare whisper, a small knowing smile spreading across her lips. “The Role of Divine is not mine to grasp is it, Evelyn...Or is it the name that Mahannon calls you?”

Ah. So that was it.

Cassandra had figured her out. Then again Lavellan had not exactly been the most secretive with her. Telling her how they have always been friends. Telling her of people she knew, who had in turn never met her yet. 

“...Ellana.” She responded in a low whisper that the two of them could only hear.

“It's not every day that you get to meet an immortal time traveler. I didn't think such magic was possible but then again there _is_ that problem with the Breach in the sky and what not.”

“Cassandra, I can explain.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure you have your reasons. Whatever they may be, your secret is safe with me. After all, we are _friends,_ Right?”

“Cassandra--”

“Don't look now but we have company.”

They were approached by a familiar duo. A man and a woman who Ellana remembered to have questioned her the first time around. The man wore a golden Tengu mask. His outfit of frills and excessive puffed out sleeves. Besides a woman whose eyes covered by her own mask and mouth are hidden from the display with her dress blocking view completely. 

“A pleasure, madam. We so rarely have a chance to meet anyone new. It is always the same crowd at these parties. So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer, considering well bringing the right hand of the divine would not be something Duke Bastien would approve of.” 

“Are you here to persuade the court into joining the Inquisition? I have heard the most curious tales of you. I cannot imagine half of them to be true.”

“What have you heard about me?” Ellana asked, propping herself against the table. This ought to be good.

“Some say that when the Veil opened, Andraste herself delivered you from the fade.” Ellana felt her nose squish at the notion. 

“That is--”

“Completely true!” Cassandra cut in, earning a soft glare. “Evelyn was sent from the maker himself to undo past mistakes that were made. She is the core resource that we will turn to in our hour of need!”

“Better and better!” The woman exclaimed, clapping her hands together as she and her companion looked at each other smiling in delight. “The inquisition should attend more of these parties.” 

“The Inquisition...” A new voice came. They turned to see Marquis heading down the stairwell from the upstairs balcony. “What a load of pig shit!” Ellana had to hold Cassandra back from wanting to strangle the fellow. “From dealing with a washed up Circle Mage, and” He glanced at Cassandra smiling proudly. “a Crazed Seeker? No one will take you seriously. Everyone knows it's just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.” 

“That's not true." Ellana quipped. Power was the last thing on her mind. "I'm just looking to restore order to Thedas.”

“Restore order or to _control_ it? We know what your—Inquisition, truly is. If you were a woman of honor than you would kneel to one leg and know when you're in the presence of superiority. After all, a woman of your magical kind does not belong here in the company of the rich and astute.”

Ellana felt now being pulled back by Cassandra in fear that she might lose her temper. However, that notion was stilled when a blast of ice came down from the balcony above. Freezing the man in place. A chilling cold air swept through the ballroom silencing the guests and cutting the music short.

“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in _my_ house...To _**my**_ guests.” 

At the top of the stairs stood Vivienne. She has dressed in the very outfit her ideals stood for. Her First Enchanter garb that Vivienne had worn to battle countless of times and still somehow managed to always keep it polished and clean. Even after beheading a dragon of all things. “You know such rudeness is... _ **Intolerable**_.” She grits out as she made her way down the same very staircase.

 

“Madam Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!” Marquis managed to say as he realized his fateful error. Vivienne stalked her way over to them and turned frightening gaze at the man. She tapped him on the Tengu mask's nose.

“You should. Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?” She told him while pinching the nose before laughing to shift her attention back toward Lavellan with a gleaming smile. “My lady, you're the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?”

“I think the Marquis has seen the error of his ways.” Vivienne flashed a grin, before turning back towards her prey. She touched his frozen cheek with her right hand. 

“By the Grace of Andraste, you have been spared, my dear...However, your comment was not only aimed at my dear, dear guest was it Marquis? And for that rudeness, I shall bid you a word of farewell.” Vivienne snapped her fingers causing the ice to shatter. The Marquis instantly falling to the floor, choking on his own blood. No one dares to help the man as he clawed at the ice spikes sticking out from the throat. He was dead within minutes. “Someone be a dear and clean this mess up. We can't have him cluttering up the dance floor.” Vivienne called clapping. The Marquis was dragged from sight, blood trailing behind as the music started back up once more.

Vivienne turned sharp gaze towards Ellana, tilting her head flashing her pearly whites. “I'm delighted you could attend this little gathering. I've so wanted to meet you. Thank you, Cassandra, for bringing her to me.”

Cassandra was already on her sixth shot after that display. The Seeker couldn't even mutter a response. Instead, she lifted her cup and offered it as a toast before smiling and moving away. Mages and she did not mix. Perhaps it was time to seek out Solas so they could promptly leave.

Ellana took this moment to follow Vivienne towards an unlit hallway. Where the only the light from the moon's grace brushed against the windows. The music still playing but ever so faintly in the background. “Allow me to introduce myself, I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court.”

“Is the Marquis's death going to be a problem?” Ellana asked, deciding following the script was a better plan with Cassandra at her heels. 

“His aunt is the Viscountess of Mont-De-Glace. Not a powerful family but well-respected...And very devout. Alphonse won't be a problem. It's not the first time he's brought his aunt disgrace, but at least it will be his last.” 

Ellana bowed.

“Charmed Lady Vivienne.”

“Ah, but I didn't invite you to the party for pleasantries. With Divine Justinia dead, the chantry is in shambles. Only the Inquisition might restore order and sanity to our frightened people.” 

“...A task your very good at.” Ellana slipped out as she was reminded of Vivienne's presence being the stepping stone of promised escape. Vivienne merely smiled.

“As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause.” 

“Vivienne I know you favor the circles. I don't agree with it but I know from speaking to some that it has given them a home where they were previously forgotten.”

“Like you?” She questioned and that twinge in her heart fluttered again. Ellana soon found herself rolling her head back and staring at the Knight Enchanter with a mystified look held in her eyes. 

“ _No, **like you**.”_ She countered causing the Knight Enchanter to suck in the breath. “And that is why I feel before you join that I must ask if its possible that the two of us share a dance?”

“A Dance?” Vivienne questioned feeling intrigued.

“A dance, a duel. To show you just how much I've learned over these past few years.” 

Ellana knew what she asking for was extremely risky but if there was one thing that Ellana always wanted from Vivienne was a proper duel. 

The last time they fought, Vivienne was testing her. Pushing her to go beyond her limits if it meant hindering her own. This time there was no need for Vivienne to hold back. There was no reason for her to accept death so willingly. Battles needed to be fought and won. 

“I accept darling, but don't think for a moment that I'll go easy on you because you are the Herald of Andraste.”

“I wouldn't dream of such a thought... _Hahren._..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Hahren: Elder; merits of wisdom, cleverness and levelheadedness. Can be seen as "teacher." Regarded with respect.
> 
> Notes: If you are confused with anything feel free to ask me about it in the comments. I will do my best to respond as soon as possible! Just make sure to check back because I tend to edit and write walls of text lol.
> 
> Psst. Vivienne was my faovirte character. I know she was a bitch but the sass was the best.


	17. The Spar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect." Zoey Sayward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: * Means Upgrade that requires Trespasser. Meaning an ability Ellana only knows because of well yeah – future knowledge.
> 
> Important 2nd Note: This chapter is a kind of rushed. So I apologize. I'm using my sister's laptop while she was out. Because I'm a total nerd who could not stop thinking about this so inbeforeshecomeshome.  
> Anyways I should be home on Thursday so hopefully, I'll get to pick up where this shit storm leaves off on. lol Sorry again for this chapter. It is very rushed and unedited.

This was it. 

They were now poised ready to begin their spar outside in the manor's courtyard away from the bustling crowds. Vivienne stood across from Ellana, tall and proud. She held her staff, in right hand and leaned into it like a cane. Ever the charming one with that dazzling smile. 

“I'll let you go first my dear, please do show me your best. I'd hate to think the great Herald of Andraste was a commoner's myth.”

Ellana ignored the taunt, she was not so easily flustered when Vivienne was about. She had Solas to thank for that role and just one nuisance was quite plentiful. Lavellan pulled her staff from her back and twirled it around in her right before setting it down on the ground. She flashed Vivienne her own cheeky grin before bowing.

It was a fine distraction, Ellana used this momentum to cast left hand to hold onto her staff as well. A surge of magical energy flowed from staff to hand, and the boost was enough to spring into action as her head rose up, and charged toward the Enchanter ever determined to win. 

Vivienne slid into a defensive stance, never really intending to allow herself to get hit while Ellana instead tapped into her chilling manna and summoned forth an ice wall towering high up between the two.

The Enchanter chuckled at the display. She did not expect a defensive reveal so early but it was cute, amusing. Vivienne was quick to cut the wall down with her spirit blade only to discover Ellana missing from the place. With sharp eyes, and quick reaction timing the knight enchanter snapped her right arm up just in the nick of time. Her staff blocking what would have been Ellana's own spirit blade into the knight enchanter's shoulder blade. Vivienne felt her lips twitch into utter delight at the new found discovery. 

“Oh?” She let out with a raised brow as she held off the attack. “So you're a knight enchanter as well! You get better and better with each minute darling but don't think for one moment that you've got me beat my dear. I'm the real deal.” Vivienne flicked her spirit blade away from left and then pushed that very hand through the hole under the right arm, hand now facing out, left palm wide open towards Ellana who was finding strangely that it hard to move. 

That was the case until an odd swirl of green to blue light flared and Ellana felt herself be pushed back from the Enchanter. Mind Blast. Ellana realized as she landed on the ground well behind the first Enchanter with a skid. Ellana fell to a knee, staggering to get back up as she felt a dazing sensation take over from Vivienne's blast. Her own blade fading from hand as lightning tendrils overpowered her own, coiling, and numbing her manna under its hold. Ellana was forced to swallow. It seemed Vivienne had changed the world as well. Static charge replacing what Ellana expected to be a fire ward instead. 

Vivienne was no longer the fire elementals and now projected magic mirroring that of her very own. Ice and Lightning. 

“Shit.” Ellana grit out as she was forced to fight through the numbness and steel her willpower to focus. It was hard to do so under these circumstances. The fucking air it was so hard to breathe. The veil pulled and seized her mana away from her. Slipping up what could have been a quickened fade step recovery into a struggling with feet counter attack. If only she was back – _**NO.**_ What was she thinking?  
Ellana didn't need that world. 

That world was a nightmare. Besides-- 

Lavellan was not the same fumbling woman who was blissfully unaware.

Ellana charged forward once more. Her left hand now snapping outward, presenting its opened palm to Vivienne who was now facing towards her flashing a cocky grin. Ellana knew that stance, oh yes, Vivienne was preparing herself by reading into Defending Blade. A defensive ability that would allow the First Enchanter to reflect any oncoming projectiles back towards Ellana.

Ellana smiled at this. 

Such a tactic would not stop her.

Ellana had other plans. She was now summoning a boulder out of fade from behind. A double specialization would not be expected. This was her chance. A successful one as it slammed into the Enchanter's back. Propelling Vivienne forward to Ellana and Ellana used the momentum to drop her staff onto the ground. It was a risky move, but Ellana had confidence over her mastery and managed to summon blade to right. An odd feeling indeed but useful as she used to slash down on Vivienne. 

Ellana blinked in confusion when Vivienne disappeared into a blurring memory and replaced with a gasping overwhelming pain when Vivienne reappeared at her side, slamming staff into the stomach. Ellana felt eyes widening at the dawning realization that Vivienne had countered her. Blood trickled down her lips as she fell down to knees, blades vanishing from sight. Vivienne pulled back almost immediately and returned to her position across allowing Ellana to gather confused thoughts. 

This should not have been the case. Vivienne did not use Fade Step. There were no remnants of a chilling sensation running down her spine. So how? It didn't make sense. There was no ability Vivienne should wield that could amplify her speed. Unless of course she instead did---

“Ah.” Ellana let out, suddenly feeling stupid for not realizing the blue shade of light before. She had been pushed back into a trap after all. An upgraded Disruption Field that was perfected into a Stasis Lock. Vivienne had slowed time down for Ellana immensely. The effect finally stopping her still when the blade was about to fall. “Damn it.” Ellana bit out as she spat rising blood out from her lips. She felt so sick with herself for stumbling into such a thing. She should have known but let herself be captured due to past inner struggles and overbrimming confidence.

This was Vivienne. She was a step lower from Fen'Harel in terms of battle prowess. 

“So you've finally realized it darling.” Vivienne called, and Ellana looked up at the Enchanter who was now bringing the back of her left hand to lips before laughing. “Your fade tricks won't work twice I'm afraid. Face it, darling, you've lost. The win is mine.”

_**“No.”** _ Ellana countered. Eyes dropping from view under scarlet bangs. “I have not come this forth to lose, even to you of all people Vivienne! I will see this through!” Ellana cried out, slamming right hand to the floor. A burst of dark blue energy coursed through it, snowflakes appearing around them as a chilling mist set across the arena. Turning floor to solid ice as a blizzard was called forth sweeping the area with its frozen grasp. 

Vivienne raised a brow at the sudden outburst, but the whole thing didn't really bother her. The thing that really caught her off guard was that the Herald had not only summoned a blizzard but managed to do so without having to stand still to sustain it.* Even Vivienne had not known how to accomplish such a feat. 

In Fact, the Enchanter was impressed that Ellana managed to slip out from her Disrupting Field by creating her Wall of Ice underneath her allowing her to be propped up and out of the field. Ellana stood on top of her glacial barrier and glared down at Vivienne hard-eyes revealing a stormy look. It fascinated Vivienne for what came next was an unlucky turn of victory. Ellana rigidly had pulled her right hand back and before Vivienne could ask the other mage what she was planning Ellana gave out a large bellowing cry. 

An odd sensation coursed through Vivienne as hair raised from the back of the neck. The voice seemed off, but that could not be distinguished when a large fireball was being summoned to hand. It's radiating heat caused light to brighten dark skies and it was quite marvelous and unsuspecting sight to behold. That was until actual fireballs rain down on Vivienne and Vivienne had to call upon her Fade Cloak to avoid the damage. The heat was so intense, that the knight enchanter felt sweat roll down from face. An outdoor sauna this was. “ _Ellana!_ ” 

Vivienne immediately dropped cloak at the foreign voice. She could not allow a bystander to get mixed into this. It was already hard enough to see. But a purple shimmer cut mist in two. Allowing Vivienne to get a glimpse of Ellana summoning a lightning bolt. But why, it shouldn't affect her? And then Vivienne realized what happens when ice is met with fire – it melts! 

“I give up!” Vivienne cried out worried more about the bystander that could get caught in the blast. Luckily Ellana heard this and ceased her attack. The woman jumped from the wall, allowing it to crumble behind her as she dusted herself off. 

“Let's do this again sometime,” Ellana said, as she held her hand out to Vivienne. Vivienne took the hand with a smile. 

“Yes, but next time lets make sure there are no bystanders my dear.” 

“Bystanders?” Ellana asked, a sweat droplet now rolling down her face. Vivienne glared at her. 

“Don't act coy with me, my dear, I heard someone call out a name of some sort.” 

“Ah...I didn't hear that.” Ellana said, feeling a bit overwhelmed. For a minute she swore she had blacked out. “Besides what's with this water? This could have been really bad with my attack. No wonder you gave up so quickly.“ 

“You're the one who caused it with your fireballs dear,” Vivienne responded not amused by the play of innocents.  
Ellana swallowed at the claim. 

“But I,” She paused, feeling a sudden whirling dizzy spell. 

_I don't have much affinity with fire..._

Vivienne caught her, alarmed. 

“Are you alright my dear?” Vivienne asked voice smoothing into a motherly tone. Evelyn felt sick, but somehow she was managing off better this time. She managed to steady herself enough to find footing and the two gathered their belongings before returning back to manor without being noticed. 

Well, that was until they stumbled onto...Was that even supposed to be Solas? 

He was now dressed in a blue top with feathers?  
On the collar no less? 

Ruffles on cuffs and nothing she would ever dream to see Solas wear in all her life. 

“Well look who's joined us dearly! Quite the gentleman isn't he now?” Vivienne exclaimed and Ellana knew from Solas's displeased look that Vivienne had been the cause of this new development. 

“Evelyn, I sensed your manna wavering again. Are you alright?” Solas asked, ignoring the first Enchanter's attempted jabs. By now Vivienne had treated her to some of her own healing magic so the blood from her lips was gone from view. 

“I'm fine. Vivienne is quite the healer as well. A great addition to our team.” She replied, smiling. “I would have been in real trouble had she not saved me from the pool.” 

“Pool?” 

“Evelyn fainted,” Vivienne chimed in. This lie would serve nicely to explain why they were slightly wet. “I caught her before she fell completely in. Ruined my good shoes, but at least she's okay.” 

“ You have my thanks, Enchanter,” Solas replied and Evelyn was wowed at this but didn't dare to comment. 

“Your welcome Solas, besides it was worth it to see you like this.” 

“That reminds me, Enchanter, where did you have your people put my clothing?” 

“Oh darling, I had instructed them to burn them of course. You can't expect me to be responsible for such a hideous attire. ” 

“You what?! _**You-”**_ Ellana reached out and grabbed Solas's left arm with her right. He looked down at her with a scowling expression. She met him with a distracting smile. 

“Thank you for coming to check up on me Solas. I was worried you would hate me for earlier.” Solas disposition quickly faded. He went from angry to confuse to flustered when he focused on her lips. 

“ _Hate you?_ No.. _I_...”  
“In any case. Thank you.” Ellana told him and pulled him down towards her, so that she may give him a swift kiss on the cheek. “I couldn't ask for a better companion.” 

Solas grumbled, blushing as he looked away bashfully.Ellana felt her lips curl into a smile as a small laugh escaping her lips. She truly loved this man. 

“Ahem!” The two jumped to see Vivienne glowering in their direction. Evelyn froze. 

_Shit!._

She forgot Vivienne was there! 

_Shit!_

Ellana glanced down at herself. 

Still human. 

Oh good! 

It was only through actual kissing. 

So Vivienne was just angry at her for displaying affection towards Solas. Of course. Vivienne was like an older sister that disapproved of everything she did. Then again the woman was probably jealous of the fact considering Bastien was dying to leave the enchanter in bitter yearning. 

**It was ironic.**

Ellana spent her past life seeking out a mortal man only to discover he was an immortal being and then there was Vivienne who spent her past life seeking immortality only to be left with the empty husk of a mortal man. 

**The two never seemingly to get what they wanted.**

“Really Enchanter,” Ellana began in a patronizing tone. “I didn't know you felt that way about _me_.” 

Vivienne responded with a boisterous laughter. In fact, the way she did it made Ellana herself feel embarrassed for even suggesting such a thing. “Right well. Solas, where is Cassandra?” 

Solas turned to face her, head tilting with confusion. 

“She's not with you?” 

“Cassandra said she was going to look for you though.” 

“Oh come off now.” Vivienne interrupted. “You don't really think Cassandra could have done that with how drunk the poor girl was, did you? Oh my gosh, you did! How funny!” 

Another round of laughter escaped from Vivienne's lips. 

Evelyn paled. 

She remembered the last time Cassandra was drunk. The woman had been so pissed off at her upon hearing what had happened at Skyhold. She had sent the Seeker to escort Varric off safely to Kirkwall considering Varric had a nasty habit of getting into trouble. To see the Seeker in Tevinter was a non-calculated on appearance. 

“What's the problem, my dear? Cassandra looked to be the type of girl who could use some loosening up?” 

_“Nuva Fen'Harel pala masa sule’din. ”_ Evelyn responded hotly shutting Vivienne up with curious silence. Vivienne glanced in Solas's direction for a translation but the apostate could only cough awkwardly as Ellana fired off a few more colorful sentences. 

“ _Evelyn_.” He tried but the mage seemed to be having some sort of meltdown. In fact, she looked pained. Pained in such a way that whatever she was thinking about that it could keep her sucked into it for eternity. 

In truth, Ellana's mind was reeling from the memory of Cassandra shattering Dorian's glossy white porcelain dishes against walls in a drunken slur. Cursing Solas's every being and then turning blaming on Ellana for being so weak against him. She should have executed him when he surrendered! That it was all her fault! The others would still be alive! 

“ _ **Ellana**_.” Solas tried once again this time she paused, this time he held her still. Forcing her to look deep into his piercing gaze. Ellana sucked breath in at the sight. 

She could never hurt Solas. He was something irreplaceable and it pained her knowing that in the end-- Ellana would always be loyal to him. Even if it meant betraying them a hundred times more. 

It was in that moment that she was overcome with an abundant of emotions. She placed her right on Solas's cheek and smiled with tears shimmering in the corner of her eyes. 

_“Nuvenan na amahn.”_

Solas froze at her words, unsure of what to say. Ellana let her hands drop and turned gaze back to Vivienne. No more fretting, Ellana decided. Whatever happened next – happens. There was no turning back now. 

_Mi’nas’sal’inan._

“Vivienne do you know where Cassandra might be?” 

“I have a few ideas. Follow me if you truly insist.” 

_Ma Serannas Vivienne, Ma Serannas...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Nuva Fen'Harel pala masa sule’din: May the dread wolf fuck your ass until you die.  
> Nuvenan na amahn: I wish you [were] here.  
> If referring to a deep longing, or nostalgic longing for something that you miss terribly, have a deep attachment to, or know you will never get back.  
> Mi’nas’sal’inan: I feel the knife once more within my soul.  
> Ma Serannas: My Thanks


	18. To Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A Woman who opens her heart to love you, when it is already broken, is braver than any person you'll ever meet." - Steven Benson

Sorry! Sorry! I had a major writers block and to get over it, I had to re-access my storyline and this is what I decided to do. It's going to be a complete left field change but I hope you can enjoy and adapt to it. (Also meaning when I wrote the previous chapters, I did not have this change in mind so please try to keep that in mind.)

XXXXXX 

“I don't understand it. Where could have the Seeker gone off to?” Vivienne wondered. The three had just about searched every nook of the castle. From the armory to the kitchen to the bustling dancing halls. Cassandra was no where in sight. The three stopped short in an empty hall when Ellana banged her right fist against pillar. She had been silent during their bickers. Silent during their conversations about the Breach. Silent about any question thrown in her direction. It was quite an awkward search.

The sudden slam caused both Solas and Vivienne to jump up in surprise. Both glancing back to see Evelyn glowering. Her hair dipped over her eyes, but the line on her lips indicated she was not happy with their present situation. 

“Were running out of time.” Ellana told them with a certain exasperation laced in her tone. “I don't know how long she'll wait around for us. We might miss out on gaining a potential ally.”

Vivienne glanced at Solas in wonderment, his reaction quite unhelpful with his shrug. You think the man who sought affection from their leader would be more informed. Yet alas, the man was in the dark just as much as she. Then again, she couldn't blame Evelyn for not disclosing information. Unwashed hobo and all. 

The Enchantress rolled her eyes and took it upon herself to make peace with the other knight enchanter who appeared rather flustered. It was like at any given moment the woman would collapse. Surely the maker did not entrust the fate of the world upon some sick woman? She would have to investigate into the matter once they got to Haven. Perhaps the other champion would prove to be a better resource to put her plans into motion.

“If you like my dear, leave the Seeker to me. You and Solas can handle whatever matters that you need to attend to.”

“ _ **No.**_ ” Evelyn snapped, a sweat rolling down her forehead. “I'm not leaving Cassandra behind. _Not again._ ” She muttered weakly but her companions caught it. Vivienne shook her head, the woman was a mystery and stubborn at that. She shrugged her shoulders and decided to let the hobo have a shot at the angry woman. 

“Peace, friend.” Solas told her as he approached. He had extended his right arm out to her. Evelyn seemed to zero in on it, and with a sigh, she dropped her hands to her side. 

Evelyn straightened herself out then. Her shimmering blue eyes now visible to gaze into. What they held, despair. Utter despair. She had been sweating too, face flushed from the exhaust. 

_“Your fever?”_ He questioned into a dead silent whisper. _“Has it returned?_ ” He remembered how she had told him that she almost fell into the pool. Evelyn's body was an odd sort of discussion. Her immortality most peculiar, even if she was an elf – it should not have been a thing. She was a special sort and it bothered him, irked him, and yet he wanted to protect her. The more he knew – the more he found himself drawn to his side.

Evelyn would not respond to him, however. It was frustrating that she turned away, but his heart skipped a mile when she paused looked back and beckoned him to follow. The cursed Elf stopped short when she was sure she was out of Vivienne's earshot and Solas was quick to step forward and offer his resolve to her problem.

 

“Whatever is bothering you, let me hear about it. I know I may not seem to be much help but I assure you that you can trust me.” 

Solas watched as Evelyn's brows knitted at his words. She seemed to be debating this fact, and he was surprised that it was even a debate. He figured they were close. Well to a degree. More so than anyone else here at least. He didn't see Evelyn going around and giving anyone else smooches on the cheek. So why was she displaying such distance? 

He wanted to reach out to her, and kiss her. To remind them of their connection. That he could release her from her cursed appearance. That with him she could be herself. True, free, and beautiful. - And perhaps the two could be more if she just let him in. “ _Ellana._ ” He called to her, in a whimpering tone when her eyes seemed to leave him. “ _Ellana_ , _**please.”**_

Her true name rolled off his tongue with a hidden desire. Oh, how he wished he could take her into his arms but Vivienne! His teeth gritted in frustration – Solas knew and could sense Vivienne's eagle eye gaze piercing into his back. 

Damn it.

“Solas,” Evelyn began finding a voice. Her mind seemed to be made up, and her skin started to find color once more. “The truth is,” She paused, accessing her decision, before swallowing, and finally answering those many questions he had been puzzling over about. “I am not from this world Solas. I am a spirit.”

She went silent then as if to allow him to fully grasp what she was conveying.

“You're a spirit?” He echoed, somewhat baffled. “You crossed the veil and took human form, amazing.”

“I did not mean to take this body. It was not my goal to reside in _Evelyn's_ body. I was hoping to be on my own...”

“If you're own? Than...you're not a spirit?”

“Originally, no. It's complicated. I'm sorry, I know this doesn't make sense. Even to a fade expert such as yourself.” 

Solas wanted to laugh, but the news hit him harder than expected. His mind reeling over the possibilities, and the likeliness to her words. 

It was impossible. 

“I achieved Uthenera in my world.” She confessed delicately and that got him to finally snap up at her with widen gaze. “I am immortal because of the Dread Wolf. He, well, Fen'Harel tore the veil from the sky and I am the outcome of it.”

Solas felt his mouth dry with her words. From what she was saying - it was almost too good to be true. 

If she achieved Uthenera than that meant in her world - He achieved his goal.  
His people were free once more. Immortality was not such a fabled tale after all. With Ellana as proof – his quest was not an impossible one.

Solas felt his heart skipping at such a revelation. In fact, had given the chance – Solas would bail this world and seek passage into Ellana's. It was such wonderful, wonderful news and yet – if that was the case, why was Evelyn frowning? 

And why –

“ _Why_ would you come _here_?” He questioned, and she gave him a sad foreboding smile.

“To escape.” 

“Escape what?” He echoed, if there was some future enemy he needed to deal with then he needed to know now so that he may prepare. If any case he could at least keep Ellana safe from harm's way.

“Slavery of course.”

His lips tasted steel, blood.  
It couldn't be.  
There was no way.  
The Old Gods he would make sure to take care of.  
The only other person who had that kind of power was-- 

“Whose slave was you?” He asked, eyes alive, burning with resolve.

“Fen'Harel - of course. You see, Solas. I was his _**prisoner**_ , his _**slave**_. A good _**fuck**_ whenever he was bored from his day to day activities. A _**trophy**_ to display for all his people to see and his enemies to know what happens when you cross them...It's funny. I thought by telling you the truth it would bring me some comfort. Instead it only reminds me of the reflection of past facial expressions I wore when _**you**_ drove a knife into my heart. _**Vhenan.**_ ”

 

It was then that Solas felt as if someone had gutted him there and then. Everything he thought he knew, had shattered before him and all he could see was Evelyn. No, Ellana, it was faint but he could see her image – her true self-staring down at him with such hateful eyes. 

Hell, he would have reeled away and fled, but she caught him by his left hand and held him still. Forcing him to look back at those eyes. Yet this time there was nothing short of hate, only love. 

_Love?_  
_**Love?**_  
_**Love for the man who had hurt her so!**_  
It did not make sense! 

_**“Solas.”**_

“Why are you telling me this?” He questioned words laced with pain upon realizing that she knew who he truly was and yet – she had been kissing him, and treating him as her equal!

“Because I trust _you._ ” She said so evenly and calmly. It was astonishing. She really was something else. And yet hehe on the other hand. 

Prisoner.  
Slave.  
Trophy.

His right hand buried into his face at such a concept. What had caused him to change and forget everything? Since when did he take on such a similar role to his brothers and sisters? Wasn't he better than them? So why and how had such a thing happened?

 _Another world._ The wolf spirit inside him whispered. Solas swallowed roughly. He had almost lost himself but thankfully the wolf inside anchored him back to the ground and air filled his lungs again.

 _Yes. That's right._ He whispered back to mind once again settling into place. Evelyn – no Ellana was from another world. So there was no guarantee that he would assume such a role again. He couldn't, he wouldn't. 

That wasn't him.  
He wouldn't live that life.  
And yet – looking at Ellana did not give him peace. He felt burdened, guilty of some crime he had not yet committed. For the Solas in her world betrayed her. Burned her and severed whatever love she had offered him. That much was certain when she called him Vhenan. 

And the fact that it was not the first time she had uttered such words, gave him no solitude. 

_I trust you._ Her words fresh on his mind. _I trust you._  
With heavy heart, he finally found his voice.

“I'm-”

“Don't apologize.” She cut off, her words firm, unwavering. “It wasn't you.”

“Ah.” He managed. 

_Amazing._

She was echoing his thoughts now. She could read him like a book, and now he felt himself wondering about her. About her story. He never asked and perhaps now while she was vulnerable, He'd get some more answers. 

“Your real body? Where is it?”  
“Does it really matter?” Her answer was hard, and he realized that she was now on edge with him. _I trust you._

“I suppose not.” He replied bitterly. For someone with trust in him, she was reeling away rather quickly. Her eyes, however, seemed to soften at his tone.

“I'm sure he's preserving my body somewhere in hopes that I will return to it. At least, I keep hoping it so...His people must be pleased though. A dead inquisitor better than a live one so they say.”  
“Inquisitor?” Solas wondered thoughtfully. When she first appeared to him in true form, her clothing did not suggest to him that she was a fighter. But then again he knew not to trust a book by its cover. Especially so when this one had the power of a knight enchanter – a feat accomplished only by a handful.

Evelyn sighed but nodded at the title. Everyone had their own roles to play so she may as well accept hers when called upon by it. 

“Well I did successfully close the Breach and somehow managed to defeat the menace known as Corypheus.” 

“Alone?” Ellana laughed at such a question. If she had defeated Corypheus alone, why would she be so reliant on him?

“No, I had others.”

“Had?” He asked, but soon regretted it when her gaze finally snapped away from his. Dropping down to the tiled floor below. 

_“Ellana?”_

“They're dead Solas. They were taken from me.“ She bit the inner of cheeks. Not caring to draw blood. “It happens when some stupid idiot usurper decides to suddenly pull down the veil without any regard to those around him.”

Again, the words had to offer were thrown back into his face. And a strangled gasp for air was all he could manage. So he had killed many people in his resolve. 

“I—but—I— _ **why**_?” Solas struggled out. He knew it would not bring her comfort but he needed to tell her why it frustrated him to no end. “There are much easier ways to go about this...With time and enough _effort_ , _**I**_ could slowly ease the veil down...Meaningless causalities and less alarm...Why would I result in such a drastic measure? It doesn't make sense.”

Ellana sighed.

“It does when your orb was destroyed.” 

Ellana watched as her Vhenan's face drained of color. “But we can _**prevent**_ that this time around.” She quickly added, hoping to ease the blow. “It's true that things in this world are different. Mahanon being a prime example.” She laughed before shaking her head. “My resolve hasn't changed. I'll stay to ensure that those differences stay true. I won't let my friends die in vain again.”

 _“Ellana.”_  


_“Yes?”_

“You and I...We were _close?_ ”

Ellana felt her hands tighten into fists. Her lips lined, but she managed to nod.

“We had a child, well rather I was with child...It never got to see the light of day...Unfortunately.”

“And why not?” Solas asked feeling a sudden swell of rage build up in his heart. The wolf in him threatening to come out and bare teeth to whoever threatened his family.

“Because you killed it, Solas. You killed our child.”

It took everything in her to walk away from him. His stunned expression would haunt her for days to come. But at least now she could say that she had been better than him. For he would always keep secrets from her and she would always try to be the opposite. Right now she must stray from the past and focus on the present. For that is who she was now.


	19. To Accept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased, it can only be Accepted. -unknown.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. It's 2 am and I'm pushing this out of my head so I can move onto the next!  
XXX

“Feeling better?” Vivienne asked as Evelyn drew close. It was clear something had gotten the girl back on her feet. Perhaps Solas was not a waste of space after all. Of course, Vivienne would never tell Evelyn that. Not in a million years. “You know watching the two of you makes me feel honestly nauseous. You are hardly a match at all.”

“We're really not that different Vivienne.” Evelyn insisted and the Enchantress threw her head back and laughed. Evelyn groaned beside her. “You just haven't seen it, Vivienne. While unbearable at times - Solas can be quite reliable if you put your trust in him.”

“You say that, but you really don't believe it.” Vivienne snipped. 

“... _ **Vivienne**_...” Evelyn warned, and the Enchantress took the hint to drop it.

“Hmm, yes, well if you do happen to change your mind, let me be the first to know. I happen to know a great deal of handsome, single men, who would be happy to show you what quality product tastes like.”

“I will try to keep the offer in mind Vivienne, but I assure you I won't need it.” Vivienne shrugged.

“Well as long as you know that I only have your best interests in mind. Also, I personally would love to see you step forward in the right direction rather than fall prey to some cheesy romanticized novel like _Swords and Shields._ ” Ellana felt like she had been jolted by some sort of electrical current then. 

“ _That's it!_ ” Ellana proclaimed, she smacked her forehead. “Vivienne you genius!” Vivienne brow raised in confusion and Ellana gave her a-very-uncommon twirl of excitement before clapping her hands together. “Do you by chance have a library down the hall by chance? I think this is where we'll finally find our missing Seeker.”

“Yes, I do actually. But fancy me this question - why would the Seeker entertain herself with books? I thought the Seekers were a much more of the active type. Leave the books to the scholars, I always say.”

“Cassandra is one of a kind.” Ellana told Vivienne, a smile crossing her lips. “Irreplaceable at best.” Vivienne placed her right hand on her hip and hummed.

“You have a great fondness for the Seeker. It's quite admirable.” Vivienne commented as she began to lead the mage down the halls once more. Ellana nodded following a foot or two behind.

“She reminds me of another companion that I once held close. I could tell this person everything, but I never gave her the same kind of regard...I was too infatuated with a certain mysterious someone. It was a misplaced affection at best.”

“Ah, love can cause one person to lose their senses if not handled carefully. Isn't that right,” Vivienne paused before glancing back over her shoulder to address both the calculated Evelyn and the suddenly meek Solas following silently behind. “as far as the two of you are concerned, correct?” 

It was said merely in pure jest but the way Evelyn stilled made Vivienne wonder how close to home had she hit with her teasing. Solas simply grit his teeth but miraculously said nothing. His eyes boring into Evelyn's tightened locked exterior. “In any case who was this mysterious man who caught your attention. A better man than Solas perhaps?”

Evelyn snorted a laugh. 

“Hardly.” She replied as she stopped and waited for Solas to catch up. When he realized what she was doing, he pulled forward and stopped when he was at her side. He glanced hesitantly in her direction and seemed to be quite taken back when she tilted her head and smiled so brightly.

Vivienne wanted to puke. 

Their oddity was a clear one. Solas even screamed discomfort. His brows furrowed and he looked like he was finally going to contribute but the words seemed to die out when he noticed Vivienne's eagle eyed gaze, taunting him, and laughing at his sudden show of helplessness. “Solas _**is**_ different.” Evelyn proclaimed, causing the two to lose focus with each other and back onto their primary target. “Besides he is here with me now and that's all that really matters.”

“I agree.” Solas finally managed and Evelyn rewarded him with another flash of her pearly whites. 

“But Evelyn, what happened to that man?” Vivienne prodded, “That oh so _mysterious_ man?” Ellana sighed breaking away from Solas and back onto Vivienne. 

So many difficult questions!  
Ellana began to use her right hand to massage her left shoulder pad that was going rigid from all these silly poking and proddings.

“It really isn't any of your concern - _is it_ \- _**Enchantress**_?” Solas countered, startling the two others. 

Solas was peeved. Mostly at Vivienne. Couldn't she mind her damn business? This conversation was getting out of hand and in fact quite annoying to boot. After all playful banter aside this was a version of himself they were divulging about. A version of himself that he was displeased with and would rather distance himself from as quickly as possible!

“Oh get off your high horse Solas. Don't you know that jealousy will burn a man dry for all her worth.” Vivienne commented before shaking her head and proceeding on. 

“There is nothing to be jealous of.” Solas insisted, his hands folding behind his back as he began to reel into an intolerant stance. “Evelyn is here - is she not?” He glanced beside him, and Ellana was giving him a flirtatious look. Batting her eyelashes at him. 

Solas groaned feeling queasy...The human facade was difficult to handle at a time. Silly and quite off-putting. And yet he knew she was doing it on purpose. Mayhap to get under his skin or simply to cheer him up. Whatever it was, he was starting to feel sane again.

“My my, aren't we testy today! Evelyn may I say once more that I'm so pleased that my servants managed to put that angry little Mabari of yours in frills. His constant barking gets irritating after awhile, but then I look back and all is well again! Truly marvelous.” Solas found himself scowling but two could play this game.

“Well at least my inclusions are worth listening to. Half of the time all I hear from you Enchantress is bitch after bitch. I would think that those who studied in the circle would have applied lessons in decent conversational skill checks but I see I was wrong! My mistake! Now I see that they were actually just children with forced ideas of a misconceived representation of life. No wonder the circles fell apart so fast! Again, my condolences Madam Vivienne. It must be hard to adjust to reality after such a prolonged skewed misconception of reality. ”

Solas grinned in victory when naught a word dribbled from the Enchanters mouth. Finally, the ball was in his court once again. Evelyn groaned. The two of them were just awful to be around. 

“Vivienne,” Evelyn called. “If you must know that man left my side when I needed him most.” She swallowed feeling gagged at the reminder of a shadow of herself looking aimlessly in the fade for some sort of revealing the trail of what could be something more. “I searched, and searched but not a trace could be detected.” She managed, staring down at her mark. “And when I finally did manage to stumble into him. I lost more than what I thought I gained...” 

Ellana brushed her right thumb over her mark thoughtfully. She swore her vision blurred for a second and jumped up when something tapped her left shoulder. Ellana turned to head to see Solas besides her, right hand resting there as some sort of offer of condolence.  
Ellana felt her mouth open, only to then snap shut when he leaned closer. She swore he was going to kiss her but instead he merely positioned his left hand over her right. Grasping both of her hands tightly in squeezing embrace. 

Her heart drummed against her chest at the sudden interaction. She was unsure what to make of it. Her eyes darting from his to Vivienne's moving away backside. 

The Enchantress hadn't noticed and had kept moving forward. Ellana was sure she heard Vivienne speaking but her voice was now drowned out by deafened ears. Instead, all she could hear was Solas's anxious breathing. 

What the hell?  
Was Solas dipping his mouth towards her?  
But she-she was human!  
He wasn't supposed to be into that!

“W-what are you--?” She squeaked out in surprise but found herself losing lips when his mouth made way to her own. She let out a soft moan as she settled and allowed her eyes to fall shut.

It was quick but soft.  
Soft, sweet, and mesmerizing.  
Her lips tingled when he pulled away, and she gave a sigh of content when she felt her eyes flutter open again. She turned to question Solas's actions but blinked in surprise to see him up ahead, following Vivienne behind and leaving her in the dust feeling slightly confused.

Did she, did she just imagine that?  
What was she thinking?  
Of course, Solas wouldn't kiss her!  
She displeased him like this.  
With this...Body...

Ellana groaned feeling suddenly very embarrassed. The mage found herself frustrated and blew a loose strand of hair from face. She paused when that very strand simply fell back into place. Irritating. Stupid hair. Ellana grabbed hold of the damn thing and tried to push it back behind her ear. Her now very long, very non human-like ears.

Slowly and very slowly mind you - did Ellana raise her gaze back up. 

A-ha! She caught him looking back towards her with a wolfish grin. 

So he had kissed her!  
That son of a bitch!  
He kissed her and then he fade-jumped away from her to make her think she had gone crazy! 

“Were here.” Vivienne announced, skidding to a stop at the door. Ellana cursed, what the fuck was she going to do?! “Shall I go first or would you like the honors?” 

When there was no answer, Vivienne turned face to indeed realize that her assumption was correct. Evelyn had disappeared but unfortunately to dampen the mood more – it seemed the mage had left Solas behind in her care. With raised, unamused brow, she was forced to speak with the bald little menace once again. “Where is Evelyn? Surely you must have seen where she slunk off to?” 

Solas merely offered a shrug.

“One minute she was here, and the next minute she had vanished.” Vivienne did not like the way he was grinning at her. Disgusting imbecile. 

Had she simply made a motion to go look, she would have caught Ellana in the act – red-handed. In fact, the woman had used her own fade-step abilities and now was hiding behind the wolf for some much-needed coverage. Her head was pressed behind his back and had Vivienne bothered to listen she would have heard the smaller woman's silent curses in the fade expert's direction.

 

“Well maybe next time we ought to put a leash on the girl.” Vivienne swallowed when she swore Solas's eyes flash dangerously. It was only for a moment so perhaps she was simply imagining it.

“You would like to put a collar on any mage that was out of your control, wouldn't you—Vivienne? Is that what your precious circle taught you?”

Vivienne scoffed at Solas arrogance. 

“The circle taught me a great many things. One thing was a necessary precaution. The art of self-control. It is a key step in gaining wisdom and rising above our inner demons.”

“They force children to fight in the harrowing!”

“They are given a choice!” She retaliated.

“A choice to fight or to become tranquil from rebelling!”

“The circles aren't cells Solas - keep your ignorance at bay. Evelyn can tell you the same if you don't believe me! They help lost souls see what lies beyond the unguided scrutiny we faced when bracing the world head on. The circle is our home, our safe haven!”

“I need not ask Evelyn anything! The way you hold her hand is precious at best! The way _**I**_ see it - you are nothing more than a mere child who never quite managed on to get up on her own two feet.”

“How dare you – You clearly only speak from a lack of consensus. You stupid ill-mannered apostate.”

Solas laughed. “I'm glad you joined us, Vivienne. It seems you have learned your lessons all too well and I personally look forward to seeing you out in the real world.”

“What are you on about _now_?”

“Away from all those flattering admirers...Away from that safety net that you hold oh so close...It is then I'll see you for what you really are Enchanter.”

“I guess we've managed to finally agree on something Solas. I too also look forward to seeing your stupid little trap gap open in surprise upon seeing what a truly defined and trained mage is capable of.” 

“Then it appears we have a date.”

“Unfortunately that seems to be the case indeed. If you need me, I'll be sorting the Seeker out. You can stay out here and do you do best. Absolutely nothing.” 

Vivienne pulled the door open and stormed inside. She had better things to do that to get into an argument with a hapless man. 

“You should really mind your tone with her.” Ellana said once Vivienne had disappeared from eyesight. Solas found himself grinning again once he turned face to see a set of beautiful blue staring up at him with a scowl. “Vivienne was one of my strongest allies.”

“And I?” He asked in a tease but soon remembered his place and his poor choice of words. He cursed inwardly.

“...My greatest adversary...Tell me, why did you kiss me out of the blue Solas?” 

“Seeing Evelyn displeases me.” He replied ever so quickly. Ellana sighed and pulled away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a weary look.

“We both know that's not the real reason.” 

Solas growled. He did not like being put on the spot like this. 

“Then what would you have me say?” 

“The truth.” She replied, hand pinching the bridge of her nose. 

When silence was followed, Ellana shook her head.  
Nothing ever changes.  
This was a waste of time. 

“I am fond of you.” He managed, coughing albeit, and also managing to throw Ellana for a loop. “But I also feel like I owe you.” 

“You don't owe me anything Solas.”

“I know that.” He chided and when she gave him a look of disbelief, he took a firmer tone. “I know that...I just wanted you to be happy.”

“And I will be...As long as you stay by my side...Can you do that Solas? Will you stay by my side?”

“Tell me Ellana - are the people - are they happy with the decision I made? In your world that is?” He added, shifting and sidestepping her altogether. 

Ellana found herself swallowing roughly when a familiar icy chill ran down her spine in reminiscence of a certain wolf who always did enjoy a good game of chess. 

 

“At the cost of many innocent lives – yes. Yes, your people are happy Solas. They practically worship the ground that you walk on.” She swore she saw him smile, and that is when she attacked. 

“Damn it Solas – that isn't you!” 

“Your right.” He replied softly, and Ellana would have hugged him had he not gone off on some tangent. “I am not that person. My people currently hate me. I am seen as nothing more than a betrayer even though it was I who freed them from a life of miser—“ 

He was cut off when Ellana placed her right hand over his mouth silencing him. Her eyes sharp like razor blades, and his eyes stormy, unyielding. 

She needed him to shut up.  
He was getting too loud and too emotional.  
Ellana could understand his frustration.  
She knew his ultimate goal was to be recognized by the people – he ultimately tried to save. Solas just wanted to be known for the good he hands in him – but he was going about it the wrong way!

“Power corrupts Solas.” She told him carefully. “Corypheus is proof of that. The Dread Wolf _**became**_ proof of that. Don't you see that these types of thoughts are simply too dangerous?”

His eyes fleeted away from her and felt a rush of adrenaline pour into her. Before she knew it she went from covering his mouth to releasing him to gripping hold of his collar and dragging him down to forcibly stare down at her. 

His eyes, however, remained impassive, uncaring, and before she could manage to grasp at her own self-conscious – she finally snapped. Blood boiling over as she pursed her lips and raised one hand back. 

Ellana should have felt some sort of remorse. But she didn't. Instead, she was happy to see his eyes widen in shock as he finally seemed to grasp what happened between them. She had slapped him hard. Her right hand bright red, matching the same color as his cheek. “Solas will you fucking listen to me!” She screeched now that she had his undivided attention. “Countless of _**innocent**_ people are _**dead**_ and for what reason exactly? For your _fucking_ _**pride**_? Are you _fucking_ _**serious**_?”

She was huffing and puffing. Her shrill could be heard echoing down empty halls but she didn't care. All that she could focus on was him and his now sympathetic eyes. 

How dare he!  
How dare he pretend to pity her! “You— _you_ —fucking _**bastard**_!” She cried before threatening to hit him again but thankfully she managed to catch herself and break away from him, retreating. “Why do I even bother!” She cried out as the tears finally came. They cascaded down her pale cheeks as she tried to shake off the numbness that swept over her.

“...Ellana.” He called trying to reach out a touch to touch her. To possibly brush stained tears from the face but she backed away from him, afraid to be burned once more. “Ellana, lower your voice, we are not alone here. It is not safe to talk.”

“With you, _**Dread Wolf**_ , it is never safe to talk.” She bit back in the tiniest of whispers, and he was forced to endure her rampage with a frown.

“I wish you would not call me that.” He told her, and she found herself laughing at his words. 

“Is that not who you are? Are you not _the_ Dread Wolf?” 

“I was Solas first.” He snipped, and she couldn't help but give a painful laugh. He eyed her questionably. 

Ellana was immediately reminded of a similar figure before her. Though this one dressed with a wolf pelt slung over his shoulder. This figures stance more distant, more rigid.

 

The fact that she could still hear his words – it was haunting. A never-ending nightmare that she herself found for the first time repeating them out to a man who stood in front of her now.

“I was Solas first. 'Fen'Harel' came after...”

“What? What are you talking about Ellana? What is this?”

“An insult I took as a badge of pride.” She responded still reeling from the memory. Over his words that gutted her so. “The Dread Wolf inspired hoped in my friends, and fear in my enemies...Not unlike, 'Inquisitor,' I suppose.”

“Inquisitor?” He questioned, and then just like that did he finally understand what she was going through. Her eyes they were glassy and distant. Fleeing away to some unparalleled world. “I said this to you?” It was more of a statement than a question. Solas now found himself in the utmost uncomfortable position. 

“You also know the burden of a title—”

“El—“

“That all but replaces—“

“Ella—“

“Your nam—“

“Ellana!” He yelled leaping forward to grip her left shoulder with his left hand and use his right to pull her head close to his chest as a makeshift embrace. He heard her gasp for air, seemingly snapping out of past memory when he kissed the top of her forehead. 

“... _S-Solas_...!” Ellana managed as she felt a water droplet hit her cheek and roll down her face. 

“ _Please_ don't do that again. _**Please**_ don't use _his_ words against me. _Please_ Ellana. I do not know how to fight against myself.”

“And I should not have expected you to...Forgive me Solas. I seem to have misplaced my temper.” She replied feeling incredibly stupid and ashamed. “You are not him...” She attempted a laugh and even crack a joke, “If you were - then surely by now I probably would have to be pushed down over on some table and taking it from— ” 

“ _Ellana,_ _**please.**_ ” 

Ellana paused. 

_Oh._

She was doing it again wasn't she?

“Is your cheek alright?” She asked trying to dissolve the tension between them. Solas smiled.

“I'm immortal, remember? Such things you need not concern yourself with Ellana.”

“I'm also immortal Solas.” She quipped, “I know you still feel pain. Stop trying to hide the truth from me.” He seemed to frown at her words. “I really hate it.”

“...It does sting now that you mention it.” She smiled and lifted her left hand to touch his wounded cheek. He did not flinch away from her touch. Even when it was her who initially caused it. 

“...You scared me...” She told him as looked over the mark. 

“It was not my intention.”

“I hated him, _**Solas.**_ ”

“I know, _**Ellana.**_ ” He said wearily.

“Do you really?”

“ _Yes._ ”

“Then why did you evade my question?”

“Because even I do not know what the future holds...But for you...I will try.”


	20. Anchor Discharge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling someone the truth is a loving act. -Mal Pancoast

"What's going on here?" Evelyn wondered, lips lined and brows furrowed as she set her sights on her two bickering teammates. Besides her Solas sighed, his irritation clear as day when he addressed the scene as children fighting over nothing.

Vivienne scowled immediately dropping her gaze on her newfound disgruntled opponent.

Cassandra Pentaghast.

When Vivienne first entered, the Seeker had settled herself in the room quite comfortably. Cassandra had propped her boots up on one of her coffee tables while plopped down on of Vivienne's many sofa chairs.

Clearly in a sublime state of mind as a giggle escaped her lips every so often, clearly so engrossed with her findings, that she hadn't even seen Vivienne enter until the Knight Enchanter took it upon herself to snatch the precious book from hand.

There was a struggle.

Still a struggle.

Vivienne noted the Seeker still would not cease her tyrant grip on the damned accursed book.

Swords and Shields.

Volume One.

"Let go, Vivienne!" Cassandra demanded with a fierce gaze despite the obvious red tint on her cheeks.

"That book is simply an embarrassment! One of my unfavorable clients sent it to me as a joke...I thought I had it burned with the rest of them! Give it to me so I can properly dispose of it, good wood for the fire if you ask me!"

"W-what! Are you kidding me?! This book is irreplaceable! Amazing, incredible, and if you so happen to do anything to it - you will surely regret it! I'll have you sent to the gallows!" Cassandra sputtered as she tried to wedge the book from Vivienne's hands by propping feet up against a small coffee table while digging further into the couch she sat upon for a slip-resistant edge.

"Y-you – threaten me! Preposterous! The Lord Seeker will have you in chains before the even bat an eye towards me!"

"Y-you and what army! I lead the Inquisition! Your words mean horse piss to me! Damn Lucius to hell I say! He was nothing more than a stupid Envy demon who didn't know their head from their ass."

Vivienne rolled her eyes. Not knowing Cassandra was referring to earlier events she had not the pleasure of taking the company in. Instead, Vivienne allowed her eyes to settle towards Evelyn with a weary look.

"Darling please."

But Evelyn continued to merely stare.

Evelyn had been used to a drunk Cassandra – yes but to see Vivienne and the Seeker going at it was something entirely new. In fact, the ordeal had left her quite speechless.

For Ellana – in her world - things played out differently. Cassandra and Vivienne were always at her side, yes, but they complimented each other both nicely while she had her Vhenan.

Cassandra, Vivienne.

The two women would enter the fray, spell blade and sword drawn. At times when they were attacked by a large wyvern Cassandra would set her shield up for Vivienne to jump-up and propel away from it. Landing a blow to the eye of their attacker and with a yelp, and large slash. Vivienne would be thrown back towards to group. Cassandra would than proceed to catch the fallen Knight Enchanter and Solas was at the Seekers side ready with a heal spell. The Dragon would flail away to recover as they did but Ellana was hot in its tracks, calling upon her Stone-fist abilities to summon boulders into the beast. Even pumping enough magic to deliver a Shatter-stone attack sending the beast staggering down to the floor. She would recall it's final wail of defeat when she gutted the beast with one last Amplified Blade charge. The ordeal would have her out for the next two weeks.

The Ultimate-tag team and they knew it. At nights she would catch Vivienne acting more risque than usual. No longer hidden in her balcony location but rather sharing a seat with Cassandra at the Tavern. Drinks in hand, sharing a girl to girl talk. Whether it would discuss their underlying agreement of mage corruption and possibly controlling them. To their talks of the great divine and the importance of having the Templars to balance the world out. So to see them here, now, in front of her fighting – at each other's throats was awkward and different.

Ellana wasn't sure what to do.

She could only approach this scene three different ways.

Leave and let them settle it like adults which probably wouldn't happen anytime soon, but at least she could have a head start to reaching Sera.

Intervene by setting both at ease by returning the book to Vivienne and apologizing later on Cassandra's behalf whilst going in-between and reassuring Cassandra she would get Varric to write that last chapter for her. Or

Simply... Finally snapping at them and telling them to scornfully grow up because they were both adults. Drunk or not, and if they were to accompany her the best act on it!

The choices weighed her heavily so that she found herself looking to Solas for a second opinion. Thankfully unlike her, Solas was as quick-witted as ever. Intervened. While not certainly the best way...It certainly helped lighten the load off her shoulders.

For Solas simply had irritably sighed and proceeded to snap his fingers together. The damned book promptly set aflame. Causing both to drop it - quite startled albeit. But effective enough that their sharp eyes became wide and forgetful of their idiotic bout.

"Well, that's one way to take care of a problem." Vivienne snipped. "I, however, would prefer in the future that you do not set fires any time we decide to visit any library of sorts in the future Solas. One ought to know by now how easily a fire is spread."

The Knight Enchanter now stood overhead of the book and used her own flick of the wrist of magical properties to freeze the book solid. She picked it up and much to Cassandra's dismay crumbled it in her hands letting the shards scatter to the floor. "Thankfully nothing seems to be damaged."

"Except for a growing migraine that I have somehow managed to accommodate over this silly excursion," Solas commented earning a rare smile from Vivienne. Cassandra groaned and allowed herself to fall back into the sofa, arms now resting on the furnished armchair beside.

"I can't believe that just happened...!Volume one in my grasp and then...Oh! Ugh! What a headache _**I'm**_ going to have!" She moaned. "Thank the Maker that Varric and Mahanon are not here to witness this!"

Evelyn couldn't help but snicker at the scene. Her three companions shifted, gazes curious and Evelyn simply shook her head. "No, no, I just had a funny thought! I just don't know how we've not managed to catch attention with all this racket. Seems pretty convenient."

Solas hummed as touched his chin, and closed his eyes to make an assessment.

"I suspect that the partygoers are having too much fun but I'm wondering how _**we**_ didn't hear them and why they couldn't hear _**us.**_ "

"Honestly are you that dim my dear sweet Solas? I expected better from you of all people." Vivienne said with a cruel smirk that replaced honest smile. "Now let me explain since your pretty little head can't figure it out..."

"You used a magical barrier to prevent noise from both ways." He finished for her, and she scowled, crossing her arms out of annoyance to his insistence at always spoil her fun. "Fascinating, I'll have to consider it in the future. Thank you, Vivienne. It's always a pleasure."

Evelyn waved her right hand to dismiss the brewing second storm.

"In any case. We should be heading out. Solas..." He glanced at her once more and she sighed, unsure about how to go about this but her mind was made up. "I need you to escort Vivienne back to Haven. Cassandra and I will see to our new ally."

There was a pause. At first, Ellana was pleased, hoping that there finally would be a simple yes, of course, no problems but then no sooner than the thought had crossed mind...

" _ **No.**_ "

"Excuse me? You want me to travel alone, with _him!_ Don't I have any say in this darling?"

"Ugh...loud noises."

"This is what I have determined to be the best set-up. You will all just have to get along, play nice and deal with it."

"But El-Ev-Evelyn - Cassandra can't practically stand on her own two feet-"

"Nonsense! I can too! Wait a minute Solas - what in Maker's name are you wearing—HA HA!"

"Let alone, protect you! Please..rethink this decision El-Evelyn...It is not the wisest choice." Solas pleaded while Cassandra now snorted with laughter. Solas grumbled incoherently as she did.

"Besides darling. Face it – the Seeker here well – she quite honestly – _**reeks**_ – of alcohol. No ally would want to be in the face of that."

"Sera would." Evelyn retorted.

"Sera?" They all questioned the name. It was unfamiliar to them, and none could pass judgment without face to place it onto.

"Sera is a unique individual." Evelyn began, she wasn't sure how to go on about this because well Sera was a bit eccentric. Well rather more than mildly so. "She's an elf but hates the "elfy" lifestyle. She'll get bored with all your history talks Solas and she'll hate when you try to force them on her. Sera also hates the posh life too. Too silly for her to recognize, almost stupid and boring. Fancy drinks and music aren't the go-to needless to say. Sera is her own identity. You will not find that in anyone else, I assure you."

"You sound like you've known her for years dear," Vivienne commented. There was a hidden questioning implement to that but Evelyn shook it off with a now stretching smile.

"No, I've never met her before." She replied, eyes dancing. "Just slightly intrigued upon hearing this silly tavern song that woman keeps playing. 'Sera was Never?' It's quite the catchy one. I'm surprised Solas and Cassandra haven't mentioned it before."

"I don't drink." Solas quickly replied. "Let alone go out of my way to find welcoming company at any type of establishment. There are better activities. Cassandra here proves that statement thoroughly."

"Ugh."

"Fine." Solas's eyes lit up at this.

Finally, someone was making sense! "I will go alone. The three of you will return to Haven."

"What! That makes no sense! I did not mean-"

"Enough. That is my final decision. I will not hear it from you anymore Solas."

Evelyn ignored the look Solas had thrown her, and instead looked to Vivienne who had now approached her cautiously.

"This is getting out of hand darling...You must look at the situation rationally. If you truly don't know this woman, this individual...Then there is a possibility that you might just be walking into a trap."

"I-I can go." Cassandra managed to get on her feet, while she did stumble, she managed to stand up, eyes hard as she stared at Evelyn. There was a swimming defiance, one Ellana had seen many times before. " _No_ , _**I will go.**_ "

"...You really." Vivienne couldn't help but snicker, but Cassandra managed to find her footing and pushed Vivienne out of her way. She went nose to nose with Evelyn with steeled ambition. "I do not need to be coddled, Evelyn. You can count on me."

"I know I can," Evelyn told Cassandra honestly. "I've always known. Besides, you've proved a point."

"Hm?"

Evelyn pointed to Solas. "I was trying to show him that I don't need constant protection, especially so when I got such a great warrior by my side."

"Humph. You flatter me."

"That's what friends do – right? Flatter each other to death." Cassandra took in the words Evelyn had said and then finally shook her head, laughing alongside Evelyn. 

It was a mutual forgiveness between the two.

"Just be _**safe**_ , yes, and please don't do anything _unnecessary._ " The statement Solas made was more directed at Evelyn than Cassandra. To his surprise for the once again Evelyn nodded, smiling, before hooking her left arm around his own, and placed a split second kiss on his left cheek.

There was a gargled noise before he too nodded, and smiled softly. The wolf than practically shooed her away with flushed reddened ears.

Cassandra looked between the two with new found growing interest. In fact, as they turned to leave, Cassandra hooked her right arm around the Evelyn's left and led her quickly down the halls.

_"Tell me everything."_

XXX

"What are we doing exactly? It's dark, it's night, and all we've been doing is gathering useless items...I thought we were supposed to be meeting with some woman. Not playing at some stupid child game. " Cassandra asked sounding very annoyed.

The Seeker had sobered up some but in the sour exchange of it had grown a tad bitchier than normal. Thankfully Evelyn finally rounded the corner to the secluded corner with Cassandra close behind.

"Shh!" Evelyn hushed her for what felt like was the hundredth time today.

Remind Ellana to never allow Cassandra near alcohol again.

The Seeker was already quite the handful as it was but thankfully Cassandra was not Sera and caught on very quickly. The older woman fell silent, and the two-edged near a corner to spot a couple of guards patrolling the area. "We need them gone," Evelyn whispered to Cassandra once they laid flat back on the other side of the wall. "Sera won't come out with these intrusions about."

"What do you suggest we do then?" Cassandra questioned back, and Evelyn's right hand reached back grabbing hold of the bindings on her staff.

"Can you fight?" Evelyn asked attentively but by then Cassandra had already gone and drawn her weapon.

"Just give me a sign."

Both women smirked, Evelyn, heading out first, fade-stepping towards the farthest of foes. Gathered mana into her left hand and amplified her spirit blade out and down at her newest of obstacles. There was a yell from the side of her, she jerked her head to see a soldier running towards, the weapon was drawn and ready to strike.

She needn't fear anything though. Cassandra was beside her at that moment acting as a wall. Blocking the blade with her trusted shield and then with a turn of her own blade, guiding her one-handed sword into the enemy's stomach. The two turned to the sound of footsteps, and the drawn bowstring made Cassandra's heart skip.

There was a sick feeling that overtook her and the idea of her swinging her body around to block an oncoming projectile at that instance was at a loss for words. Instead, she settled on puking while Evelyn, on the other hand, took it upon herself to now switch out Cassandra with one foot forward.

With left arm extended fading from blade to hand, Ellana sucked in her breath as she summoned the mark's powers once more.

Cassandra's eyes widened at the revelation of it.

One moment she was in the dark corners of Thedas next she was placed into a world she couldn't even begin to describe. Green skies, occasional floating boulders, murky waters, and the alarming feel of sand and grain under her hands. Before the Seeker could even open her mouth to ask what had happened, the world crumbled and she was back in that darkened alleyway.

Breathing like a fish out of water.

Insanity. And yet somehow Evelyn had managed to get up the stairs in a blink of an eye and was now holding the guard up by a fistful of his loose-fitted attire. She had him pinned to the wall, and his expression had practically matched Cassandras. They were both utterly confused.

Cassandra managed to locate a steel arrow pierced the wall behind her. So he did manage to let an arrow fly. Cassandra swallowed at the implications. Mind left to roam in wonderment as if she had just succumbed to a drunken spell whilst Evelyn had performed something crazily new.

It must have been.

There was no doubt.

The ass-pull of the century.

At that range, one of them would have surely been hit but there was nothing. No blood. The arrow missed and Cassandra couldn't fathom how.

"Where is he?!" Evelyn yelled, and the more solid winched before pointing down the alley. Evelyn gave thanks before knocking him out and turned towards Cassandra who staggered back on her feet. Evelyn was met with a demanding silent expression and with a sigh. Evelyn's shoulders sagged and proceeded to unload yet another heavy bombshell.

"That Cassandra...That was The Fade..."


	21. It's Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?" - Nikita Grill

“The Fade?” Cassandra questioned, sheathing her sword and all the while a sensational transfixing feeling overcoming her. “You can take us to _The Fade_?”

“Only _**briefly**_!” Evelyn shouted while waving Cassandra down in hopes the Seeker would not get too riled up. “It only happens when I build enough energy into the Anchor. It is one of three different abilities the Anchor grants me... _ **Please**_ don't tell Solas.”

Cassandra brought her left hand to her head, it throbbed with pain mostly due to her drinking but partially due to the idea that the Anchor was so powerful. If anyone could expand on this more it would be Solas. But he was left behind, and now Evelyn was asking for her secrecy. 

“Aren't you two together now?” She asked, her mind replaying the kiss on the cheek and the following discussion on how they were beginning to explore their options together as a couple. Evelyn's brow furrowed.

“It's complicated,” Evelyn informed her while putting her staff back into its bindings and around her back.

“ _ **How**_ complicated?” Cassandra wondered. 

Surely there was more to this. Something the mage wasn't telling her. She had no reason to hide anything from Solas. He was their Fade Expert and she was being unreasonably quiet...Then a flash of enlightenment came through Cassandra and for a brief moment she saw herself in Evelyn. “Only briefly, huh?” Cassandra began, changing the subject. 

Across Evelyn let out a sigh of relief. 

So there was something. “These abilities--Can Mahanon use them as well?” Evelyn's lips parted but then closed. There was a momentary struggle before she finally decided on an answer.

“Yes and no. It would be possible for him to unlock two of them...I would think...But the ability that I have used just now, there would be no need to gain it if _**I**_ can prevent it this time around.”

“Prevent _**what**_?”

The answer never came. Instead, the smell a charcoal-like smell swam through her nostrils. Cassandra blinked in astonishment as Evelyn came between her and an oncoming projectile. A burst of flames and Evelyn was thrown into her. Cassandra falling on her behind, and Evelyn on her lap. 

The mage hissed in pain as a man approached them, right hand reeling back preparing another fiery burst of energy. Cassandra wasted no time to bring herself upright and hunched over Evelyn. With a quick right hand up and around Evelyn's tiny body, the Flash-fire spell became ineffective against her shield.

“Arrow of Andraste, did you really think you would go unnoticed?” The assailant questioned as he stopped casting. “Tell me, how much did you spend to discover me?” Cassandra cast her gaze back at Evelyn, but as she did her eyes widened.

The woman was now currently ripping part of her shirt off exposing left arm burnt flesh. Evelyn grit her teeth as she did so. Cassandra's left hand immediately digging into her left-side satchel to retrieve a redden flask she had stored away in case of emergency. Shaking she offered it to Evelyn who wasted no time to drop her staff and use her right hand to grab hold of such a precious offering. She opened it up before swallowing its contents whole. They threw the flask to the floor and within moments, burnt flesh managed to heal to bare.

The potion seemingly awakening her immortal gene. “What the hell? What the hell is the Inquisition harboring? How did she do that?! That's not possible! I've never seen a flask react so quickly!” 

With right hand clenched, Evelyn Rose. Sure, she looked healed -- good as new one might say but there was still that searing pain coursing through her. Even if it wasn't really there. It hurt and she still felt tears welling into the corner of her eyes as she managed to get back on her feet with Cassandra's help of course. 

Was this the immortal life?  
Was this how Solas felt every time he had previously protected her? 

Every

Single

Time 

Ellana could remember how she would approach him at Skyhold with bubbling nervousness because she recalled how he took a blow that was meant for her. Solas sat on his desk, bandages ever present on his ribcage but he seemed impassive as she approached. Eyes are drawn to whatever book he was currently looking over. 

“Solas?” She called, and his eyes shot up at her own, there was a smile that graced his lips.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Vhenan?” Ellana blushed at the new nickname but she managed to control herself from pouncing him altogether. 

_Broken ribcage._

“Are you alright? Surely you shouldn't be sitting like that after what had happened?” Solas seemed riddled by her meaning, and she took a step closer, nose to nose as she reached out and gently pulled on his bindings. 

That seemed to stir him out of his thoughts as he quickly got on his feet, and was pushing past her. 

She assumed the proximity had alarmed him. 

But she would have never guessed it was because he most likely had forgotten that he wasn't immortal towards them. 

_Idiot._ Ellana cursed as she tuned back into the conversation at hand.

“Who exactly are you again? Cassandra wondered and once again Ellana realized, she too, had no idea who he was either. The man placed his hands on his hips and laughed.

“You don't fool me. I'm too important for this to be an accident. The Inquisition must have realized how unstoppable I am and they sent this – _monster_ after me.”

“ _ **Monster**_?” Ellana questioned, feeling slightly bothered by his statement. No wonder Solas kept the secret to himself all these years. People really didn't know how to handle the revelation quite yet. “Just because I'm a _quick-healer_?”

“Do what you want! My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere.” 

A sudden crash and a swish appeared. Followed by a cry of anguish from a guard that tumbled down a flight of stairs before them. Behind him stood an elf – Sera – bow drawn and readily aimed towards this gentleman. 

“Just say what!”

The boisterous man turned towards her with a scowl. 

“What is the meaning--”

He never finished his sentence, an arrow now lodged in his head before falling to the floor dead. 

“Ugh!” She cried out tilting ahead at her handiwork before approaching Cassandra and Evelyn. “Squishy one but you heard me right?” She questioned, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Just say what? Rich tits always try for more than they deserve.” She turned toward the man once more and went for her lost arrow. “Blah blah blah!” She exclaimed as she pulled the arrow back out. “Obey me, arrow in my face.” She said, laughing, before putting the arrow back into her quiver. “So,” She looked towards Evelyn and a wide-eyed Cassandra. “You followed the notes well enough. Glad to see your...Your kind of plain really. All that talk and you're just...A person.”

Evelyn found herself laughing at the statement. 

“What did I say something funny?” Sera wondered, placing her right index finger to her chin, and thinking back on what she said. 

“At least I'm not 'elfy,' anymore,” Evelyn replied, gaining an odd look from the woman. Cassandra besides her shook her head in slight disapproval. 

“I mean,” Sera began looking between the two, “Its all good either way isn't it? The important thing is you glow. You're the Herald thingy aren't you?” 

“Yup that's me. I totally glow and I piss off everyone because of it.”

“So my people were right then?”

“Your people?” Cassandra besides spoke up. “Elves?” Evelyn had to bite her lip from laughing. She had learned better by now, Sera was nothing like an Elf. 

Even if she was.

Sera laughed. 

“No. People people. Names Sera. This is cover, get around it...For the reinforcements.” Sera explained before Cassandra could open her mouth. “Don't worry someone tipped me off their equipment shed.” 

There was a gleam in her eyes. “They've got no breeches.”

XXX

“Whoa, this place is huge!” Sera exclaimed as they reached the gates back to Haven. 

“That's what he said when he first came,” Cassandra noted, earning a loud snorting laughter from Sera.

“Good one!” She commented and Cassandra rolled her eyes. She hadn't meant it like that. 

Evelyn realized at least that Cassandra was referring to Mahanon. 

“Evelyn, Cassandra!” A voice came and they turned to see Mahanon approaching a grand smile on his face.

“Speak of the devil.” Cassandra murmured as he proceeded to use his left hand to shake her right. There was laughter and smile as they exchanged hellos. 

Sera, however, had pulled off to the side. Right away she had noticed Mahanon's mark and tilted her head. Looking for both Evelyn and him with astonishment. 

There were two Heralds!

When Mahanon turned to greet Cassandra, the Seeker refused to budge. Crossing her hands over her chest as she eyed him wearily.

“I heard you were drinking but this is an understatement! Look how grouchy you are! Could slay an entire army by herself. ” Cassandra's eyes slit dangerously and Mahanon laughed. He stepped close and then dropped his voice into a mere octave. “If it is not too brash, is it okay if we talk in private?” 

Cassandra went from angry to alarmed in an instant. Hands dropping to her side as she slowly nodded toward the proposal. 

Evelyn simply smiled. 

Mahanon was a great addition.  
Cassandra would mesh well with him.  
She could already see it now.

“Who would have thought, she was for the elf types,” Sera whispered to Evelyn with a small nudge on her left arm. Evelyn, however, yelped at the action and sprang forward. 

A sear of pain ripping through her as she did. 

Sera regarded her oddly, Cassandra pushed past Mahanon calling out her name, and Mahanon stared at her with worry. 

“I'm fine.” She told them, right hand extended up and out as a stop like expression. “I just wasn't expecting her to do that. Kind of thrown off guard by the conversation.” She lied, but Cassandra scowled knowing it was because of her arm.

“Evelyn, what happened to your shirt – it's ripped?”

“It's nothing.” She quickly replied, hoping Cassandra would follow lead.

“She took a blow meant for me, and was burned rather badly because of it.” Cassandra told him, and Evelyn cursed silently. The last thing she needed was everyone to be worried about her. She was fine, the wound was gone, just a little aftermath to get used to. But even that soon enough Evelyn was sure would fade to numbness.

“Does it hurt?” Mahanon asked, and she frowned. 

Obviously.

“What got all your panties in a bundle? There's nothing there at all! Yours practically babying her! Gross!” Mahanon glanced at Sera with a look of disgust. 

“You must be the new recruit.”

“Sera, S-E-R-A, Sera. If you call me anything but that there's going to be problems.” She told him extending her left hand out to him, and Mahanon took it with a smirk. 

“Well then, _Sera._ The name is Mahanon. _**Herald of Andraste.**_ Pleasure is mine.” Sera pulled away before he could place a kiss on her hand. 

“Eww gross! Don't swing that way I'm afraid - it's the ladies that make me feel all gooey on the side .”

“Interesting.”  
“ _Ah._ ”  
“Sera – _**please**_.”

“What? Just being honest anyway. Don't want him to get his itty bitty his hopes up. Anyways does this place have a bar? Please tell me that it has a bar. I've been dying to get my tongue wet after dealing with that bullshit before.” 

“It's over that way.” Evelyn pointed and Sera went on her way with a sprinting giggle of excitement. 

“You did say she was an oddity,” Cassandra said as they watched her go. “I didn't think you meant it as an understatement.”

“She's not that bad once you get used to her antics.” Evelyn said then Mahanon rose a brow before Cassandra gave an, 'Ugh,' at the notion. “Really she's not!”

“ _I_ for one think she's a great addition.”

“You like anything that's a woman, Mahanon.” Cassandra snapped, and he laughed.

“Nonsense, while it is a definite plus, I do like this girl. Someone to keep all the grouches in line. By the way, Vivienne is _amazing_!” Cassandra snorted. Mahanon ignored. “I'm glad you brought her along.” Evelyn shrugged.

Vivienne was a great fighter but still, there was one thing that always did bother her about the woman.

“Just don't let her corrupt you with all her mage controlling talk.”

“Corruption? But she has a _**point**_. Mages can be _**dangerous**_ if let run free.” Evelyn sighed. “No offense to you or anything but the Circles was created for a reason and could benefit us immensely in the future.” 

“Oh no, I am the wrong person to talk about this with. Cassandra _please._ Have at him.” Evelyn told her, as she went to walk forward. Cassandra caught her by the arm, there was an apology with the hiss that followed.

“Evelyn where are you going? The others are waiting...They need to know what happened...” 

“Take Mahanon, he needs to catch up with whats going on. Besides its a good chance for you two to well – _hm_ – bond.”

“Bond?” They both questioned in the union. “At the War Table?” Evelyn smiled and nodded. “War, strategy, letting off steam. It's a great way to get to know each other.”

“Have Solas and you practiced that before?” Mahanon teased, but Evelyn turned red all too quickly. “Evelyn _really_?!”

 _ **“No,No,No!**_ ” She denied shaking her head furiously. 

_Not with this one anyways._ “The idea of it got me that's all! Yes, the _idea_...”

“If you're going, you should at least meet the new recruits I picked up along the way. Blackwall and The Iron Bull.”

“What kind of names...?” Cassandra wondered. Evelyn almost jumped for joy.  
Iron Bull was here too! She was expecting Blackwall but Iron Bull was a certainly a plus!

“Ones a Grey Warden and the other is a Qunari, a Ben-Hassrath.”

“A Grey Warden will assist us immensely. A Qunari, on the other hand, is a risky choice though, are you sure about this?” Cassandra questioned putting in her two cents. 

“Nonsense. Iron Bull while its true that he is a spy. His people are concerned about the Breach from what he told me I don't think he's lying so this information will benefit us greatly. Besides he loves the ladies just as much as I. I think he'll fit in just fine.” Mahanon replied. Cassandra glanced at Evelyn for a second approval but the woman had already gone.  
“W-what? Where did she go?”

“Maybe to jump Solas.” When Cassandra glared he laughed and took her by the hand. “Most likely to meet the others though. She'll like The Iron Bull. He's got a thing for redheads.”

XXX

Ellana was nervous. She knew, but the person she was approaching her was a great friend. Someone who did more than she could ever ask for. Then again, she was also ashamed to approach him. 

_Dorian._

**He asked you to do it.** Evelyn's voice whispered deep within the thresholds of her mind. You spared him from the wolf that day.

Ellana felt her right fist tighten as the tears welled up. 

_Even so._

As she approached Iron Bull, he turned and rose a brow. Krem welcomed her as the second Herald and before she would even do any greetings back. Ellana bowed to him.

“I'm sorry!” She told him as some tears rolled down her face, “I'm sorry Bull and thank you, thank you for everything!”Ellana stood back upright. They both had blank faces. She couldn't help but laugh as she wiped the tears away. “I look forward to standing aside you in battle.”

Then she was running off before he could say anything. She couldn't hear him talk. Not yet! It pained her too much so Ellana would turn to the man she knew she could talk with. 

Blackwall. 

A man living in lies, just like her.  
Yet still hiding them. 

Tom Rainier.

She stopped outside the blacksmith hut, the people working there turned to greet her and she offered a waving smile. 

“Excuse me, M-Milady.” A voice came and she turned to see Blackwall, blushing a bit. “My name is Blackwall. A Grey Warden. A pleasure.” He told her, holding his arm out to her, and she shook it with ease.

“Evelyn. I'm a Trevelyan but an unwanted one, I suppose. With all the magic and what not.” She told him, laughing.

“I don't see why that would be the case. Magic is a beautiful thing. It makes you unique.” Ellana smiled. 

“Flatterer.” Blackwall blushed scarlet.

“Yes well, I've heard rumors of abandoned Warden camps all over these parts. If we have time, I'd like to take a look. See if there's anything we can salvage.” 

“Of course, how could I deny helping a handsome man as yourself?” Ellana teased and Blackwall simply smiled.

“Now whose flattering who?”

“Touche.”

They laughed, Solas would have her head for this.

“So is there something large and heavy you need moving?” Ellana brushed a red strand of hair behind her right ear. 

“Manual labor in exchange for compliments? _Useful._ ” Blackwall shifted side by side, nervously. 

“Well, I aim to please.” He let his hands drop away to his sides. “I have to say, my lady, you're, unlike any woman I've ever met.” 

Ellana coughed, maybe she had gone a bit too far with her flirting. Blackwall was practically beaming at her.

“Why are you traveling alone, shouldn't you be with the other Grey Wardens?” She asked, shifting the conversation knowing anything with Grey Warden in it, made Blackwall uneasy.

“It's what I've always done. Recruitment requires one man. Besides I've always been a loner. Works better for everyone that way.”

“Right. Let's continue this another time.”

“As you wish, I'll be here when you need me.”

XXX

“What am I _doing_?” Ellana questioned once she was back in her room or was it Mahanon's room. She didn't know. Flirting with Tom? Was she out of her mind? “ _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ ”She swore as she paced about. 

At least most of her teammates were back. But now Iron Bull must think her insane! _Fenedhis._  
_Get a grip! There's only one person I need to be focused on and that person is--_

There was a knock on the door. Ellana sucked in her breath if it was Iron Bull she would have ought right died. She turned the handle, opened the door to see Solas instead. _**Fenedhis lasa!**_

At least he was dressed in his usual sleek attire, apparently, he had multiple copies or just used magic. Probably the latter, once he was in the clear to do so.

“Evelyn good. They told me you were here.” As he strode in and turned towards her, arms crossing over his chest. “We need to talk.”

“And we're not talking now?” She questioned, as she slowly closed the door shut behind her. She wondered if she should lock it.

“About _**us.**_ ” She would decide against it.

“I would prefer you not make it a habit to, well, show off our relationship to the others.”

“So no more kissing?” She questioned and now he shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, I didn't say that.”

“Just not in public.” She added again.

“ _ **Please**_.” Ellana sighed.

“Fine, it's not like I haven't heard it before. You've always been like this.”

“Must you.” He drawled. 

He really didn't like being compared to the Solas in her world.

“Yes, I _**must**_.” She reminded with a sour look. “It's why I am here.”

There was a silence between them then and Ellana felt a trail of sweat down her face. They always brought out the worst in each other. “I will keep things under wraps. It was not my intention to distract you.”

“Then what was your intention? _**To kill me**_? Wouldn't that be easier? You would not need to worry about the so-called impending doom that shall be brought by my so-called hands.” Another bead of sweat dripped down her face, as she felt her eyes closed and she gave a sigh of defeat.

“You would have to be there, to see it, to understand it.”

“I would love to see such a world personally. It's everything that I sought for.” She found herself snapping her eyes open and staring down at him with a sharp eagle-eyed gaze. “Spirits running free and magic no longer constrained by this worlds boundaries. Every time I think about it, I don't see the repercussions.”

“You're walking a tightrope Solas.” She warned.

“If you'd just hear me out. The orb will fix both our issues. If I get the _orb_ \--”

“You will not get the orb. _If_ we retrieve it that is. I will be the one who holds it close.” His eyes seemed to snap into his own pointed look. 

“The orb is _mine_.” He reminded. Eyes now a stormy gray. Ellana felt her mana spark and churn at the sight. He was coming. She knew her hand had become blade. Lightning tendrils ever present as she prepared to face off with the re-emerging Wolf.

His grin as wide and dangerous as ever.

“Not while I'm here.... _ **Fen'Harel**_.”


	22. The Face Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Be Strong because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important: I had to go back and re-edit some chapters on Works of our Own as I realized a big error on my part. I kept writing Ellana as right handed mark user. This isn't the case. Since chapter 1 she's always had the mark on her left hand. It really frustrates me that I forgot this. I just haven't written in so long. I'm ashamed. 
> 
> So I will apologize now if it did confuse anyone before..I've tried to make things right/ Thanks for sticking around with me, I feel really bothered this happened. Sorry again. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

“Not playing innocent this time?” The Wolf questioned smirking as his blood-red eyes trailed over her hardened facial features. “Don't look so cross Ellana – I mean you no harm.” When he took a step forward, she found herself pulling back, scoffing. He stopped and tilted his head in amusement when she drew her staff from its bindings and held it out in front of her rebelliously.

“Don't act familiar with me –Wolf.” She snapped, “You don't earn the right to have such a privilege.”

“But Pride does?” He questioned with a laugh. “You humor me _**Vhenan**_.”

“ _ **Don't call me that.**_ ” She stressed, mana snapping out and threatening to spill over. “ _ **Don't you ever call me that again.**_ ”

“Relax, let's share a drink, its all in good fun...It will be just like old times, _Vhenan_.”

“ _ **Bastard!**_ ” She cried out as she sprang forward to attack but blade stopped dead short of his neck when she found herself unable to move. “W-what?” She questioned as her eyes scanned him for clues. His red eyes glistened when his lips parted to reveal the hidden truth.

“ _ **Ma Serannas, Trevelyan.**_ ” 

Ellana felt her breath caught at such words. All air seemingly leaving her upon discovering such a miscalculated error. “You would do well to control that troublesome spirit of yours. At this rate, the Knight Enchanter will sense her distress and nothing will be gained from this chat.”

Ellana made way to open her mouth but as she did her magic dispersed in a glittery burst of energy. It was then in a split second that Ellana could see invisible strings covering her entire body. She became trapped! “Have you calmed yourself yet Ellana?”

“As if I had a choice!” She would have screamed back but her voice never came.

Words seemingly lodged in the back of her throat as she witnessed her vision blur and cut away threatening to take her into a deep slumber.

 

 _Evelyn!_ Ellana cried out in the depths of her mind. _Don't you dare do this to me now! Not with_ _ **him!**_ _Never with_ _**him!**_

 **This body is mine.** Evelyn snapped back. **You're the invader. You will know your place.**

Ellana gasped when she felt a sharpened pain shoot through her left arm. It was so overwhelming that she was brought down to her knees, staff falling from the right hand and rolled far away from grasp.

It felt like...It felt like her left arm was being torn off!

 **It was never your arm, to begin with, Ellana. Don't you recall?** Evelyn's voice countered with a sneer. Her counterpart's taunts proving to be difficult to bare. **Your arm is gone. This one is mine.**

Ellana felt her eyes shut close, but somehow her soul fought against such a desire. Instead, with one eye cracking open, Ellana was sure she saw it! 

It was faint but as she focused everything on that point of energy – a pair of ghostly hands appeared holding her left-hand's fingertips within its grasp. Vision swimming but resilient, Ellana finally met the eyes of her attacker – a mirror image of the person she was masking as.

Evelyn. 

_S-Stop!_ She felt her mind scream as the Human mage's form took shape. Evelyn was pulling her in, fighting to take over. _You mustn't._ Yet Ellana's magic continued to deplete within Evelyn's tight grasp. Her magic threatening to disappear forever once the storm passed.

 _ **“There, there.”**_ Fen'Harel's voice appeared and as if she had been jolted back to life. Ellana felt her head snap towards it. 

Even Evelyn would not contain her uncontrollable hatred for this man. 

_**“Y-you!”**_ She managed to bite out despite the agonizing pain that threaded through her. 

“Such a face...”He hummed as bent down beside her and examined her thoughtfully. Ellana felt sick at the proximity but as much as she wanted to move away from him, Evelyn still remained binding her close.

_He's nothing but a trickster! You of all people should know that!_

**I do.** Evelyn answered and a cold chill passed through Ellana at the acknowledgment. **I want Fen'Harel dead just as much as you do for what he has done to this world. Do not mistake that much of me.**

 _Then..._  
_...Why?_ Ellana wondered as at that moment Fen'Harel had reached out and his right hand caressed her left cheek.

 **Because like you said, 'He's nothing but a trickster.' Tell me Ellana...Are you really sure this wolf is your Fen'Harel? This is another world after all. Maybe the real outsider here is** _**you.**_

Ellana blinked at such an audacious claim.  
No, her coming here was not a wasteful task!  
This world would be saved! 

Fen'Harel be damned!

And yet – the wolf had drawn close from Evelyn's distraction. Her eyes widening a fraction when his reddened orbs slid shut and mouth had captured her own.

Warmth flooded through her body in an instant and because of such actions, Ellana felt the chains that bound her to shatter free. Without hesitation, Ellana felt herself jerk back and she called forth The Fade.  
The Mark.  
The Anchor. 

Left-arm no longer placid as she summoned forth a rift that would yank him far away from her. Sending him flying against the wall with a sickening crack.

Ellana rose, patience fading as she felt unrestrained. Words gracing lips once more. 

“I have seen Fen'Harel's legacy already once before. I do not intend on letting it slide past again. Do not force my hand again. You will regret it, Wolf.”

She allowed him to come to with the power of her Resurgence spell. She watched the Wolf settle his hungry crimson gaze back on her exasperated blue ones. 

“Beautiful,” He commended, wiping the blood from lips. “And quite the fierce one too.” He noted.

Was he stupid?

She wondered.

She could easily crush him now. 

Especially since her counterpart had dispersed leaving an Elven Apostate in her stead.

“Bring him back.” There was a sultry laugh that followed.

“Bring back whom?”

Ellana glared, just how much did he wish to push her? He ought to know damn well not to test her like this. Her mana swirled around, unhinged and free.

“Don't look at me like that. You were just too precious not to tease. But really – I just wanted to talk about _My Orb._ ”

Ellana snarled. 

“It. Is. Not. For. You. To. Have.” She told him sharply. “Now. Bring. Solas. Back.” 

“Does my presence really cause you so much pain?” Fen'Harel questioned as he staggered back onto his feet. She simply looked away and ignored him. The Wolf let out a sigh of irritation. “Fine. You win...I will return your Pride.” He said as his eyes firmly slid shut.

Ellana dared to look at the re-opening. She was pleased when the Wolf finally was true to his word.

Solas regained consciousness. 

At first, he was looking down at himself, confused and baffled at his dried blood. Then he sensed her. Eyes widening upon the realization that she was herself.

“Ellana, but how? How are you back to normal? I thought–”

“It's only temporarily.” She cut him off wistfully. 

“I don't understand.” He murmured as he tried to recall the last few moments by placing a hand over his head. But there was no recollection. 

“Fen'Harel kissed me.” She told him causing him to go frigid in her grasp. “It's alright now though. What matters is your back and we can move past this.” 

However, Solas did not look so reassured. In fact, he was actually moving to peel her arms away from him. When he did though, she yelped. 

That damned, accursed arm of hers and in his misunderstanding Solas froze yet again. Eyes growing in utter horror.

“ _ **No,**_ ” She hissed in attempts to halt him from trying to wiggle his way out of her hold. “ _Not from him!_ It's from earlier—“ She tried to simplify. “I-I took a blow for Cassandra! My left arm was exposed because of it. This injury – you did not cause it. It was because I was careless.” 

“Careless!” He echoed angrily. “I told you not to do anything unnecessary!” 

And before Ellana knew it – Solas was now sitting her down on the bed with him standing aside it – gazing down at her with growing frustration. “Show me.”

Ellana rolled her eyes, how quickly he became distracted... She proceeded to point out where the pain was most evident. 

Within seconds his right hand hovered over her left arm. A green illuminating pulse of energy appeared filling her mind with a sense of tranquility.  
Peace and once again patience flooding through every fiber of her being. 

Ellana relaxed allowing her body to tilt into Solas's for support. 

“Thank you for that.” She told him softly as she rose her head to stare up at him. Solas, however, looked down at her with a disapproving glance.

“Immortality does not prevent immediate death. If the blast is strong enough – You will die. You would do best to remember it.” 

And then out of bad habit, she let her tongue slip.

“The same goes for you too.”

Solas winched visibly and she cursed her idiocy.

Because of her words.  
Her tipping off...  
He had an idea of how far their little exchange went and now he was leaving her.

Ellana could only watch as he pulled away from her and made a clear distance between them.

It wasn't fair.  
She couldn't keep dealing with these break-ups.

And then suddenly she was up on her feet calling to him, begging him to look at her one last time. Thankfully he did turn and finally, she was able to say what she truly wished from the bottom of her heart to be exposed.

“Ar lath ma,” She weakly said before swallowing, and hesitantly so managed. “ _Vhenan._ ” 

Solas let out a painful sigh.

“For what its worth...I am so sorry.” He told her carefully. “Good night Ellana.” 

The door clicked shut behind him and she was sinking to the floor, shattered. 

That night, Ellana wept.

She would have cried on too, but in the distance, something caught her ears.

A whimpering howl of a lone wolf in the distance and with it a knock on the door. 

Ellana rose, brushing tears from face, and turned handle with shaken resolve. 

Solas.

Ellana opened her mouth, but then shut it. Afraid to see him leave a fourth time.

“If it's quite alright Ellana...I've decided to stay the night.”

Ellana could not help the smile that grew nor the growing need to have him back in her arms. 

For it was where he was meant to be.

 _Ma Fen_  
My Wolf.

XXX


	23. To Endure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Endurance is patience concentrated. - Thomas Carlye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has ruined me. I was going to go on but I am going to have to split it up. I just can't focus on the other parts without internal giggles. I have problems. I'm sorry.

"I did not want to come here Solas." Ellana growled as Solas admired the majestic appeal the room had to it. Apparently, a night-journey into the fade sent her smack into her forgotten bedchamber.

"The Fade often shows you the manifestation of one's own personal desires." Solas pointed out as he dared to look out the window and into the world beyond it.

"I know that." She hissed as she moved over to the curtains and forced them shut. He tilted his head at her in confusion, and she simply bit her lip in response, back-turned away from view. "I just said that I had no desire to come here."

"And yet here we are." He told her and she shifted to face him fuming only to see him, pondering, hand to the chin. "Curious." She watched his gaze flick away towards the door and what mysteries could wait beyond it. Ellana grabbed hold of his shoulders snapping him away from it all.

"Wake me up Solas. I know you can. The Solas in my world has managed to do so many times before. So do me a favor and just wake me up. Let's move on and get out of this nightmare." He gave an irritated sigh before raising using right hand to rub his forehead as she pressed him with a pleading, _"Please._ "

"You always tell me that I don't understand Ellana. That I need to see it for myself...Perhaps this is your chance to explain."

Ellana dropped her hands away from him and swallowed roughly. "Besides the only wolf here is me."

 _And yet you still won't let me out of this cage like he wouldn't._ She thought numbly as she stared down at her hands shaking, but both still present and accounted for.

He was right though.

Things were different now.

The Anchor proof of that as it hummed silently bringing light to the darkness that crept inside her heart. With clenched hands, Ellana spun toward the door, sucking in a breath as if it was her last. Solas close behind, as she reached for the door.

When her left hand caught handle, there was a spark of electricity and white-hot blinding pain that followed. The next thing Ellana knew she was pushed back, thrown into Solas who slammed back into one of the bedposts.

Two groans followed. 

Ellana shook her head, slightly dizzy. All the air she had been holding had been knocked out of her."W-what, was, that?" She panted out before using her right hand to brush bangs away from eyes.

"A memory block?" Solas questioned groggily, he wasn't quite sure himself. Ellana felt herself grin, she leaned back into him and laughed.

"Shows over then, guess you really ought to wake me up!" Solas grunted at such a request. Instead, he used his right hand on her left shoulder to pull himself up and dusted off his pants. Ellana stared at him with silent parted laughing lips.

He really wanted to see this thing through. She'd give him that.

He turned to face her, extending his hand out to her, but as he did – he stilled – eyes widening significantly. A brow rose in puzzlement. "Don't tell me I'm Human. I liked being myself in the Fade." She told him jokingly but he made no sound. No movement. He simply just stared like there was some sort of Mabari Hound in the room. _"Solas?"_

There was a strangled gargle that followed as if Solas was trying to push the thought away from him. His hand went from left extending to a shaken right extension. "What is it?" She regarded him oddly, but he wouldn't say anything more. Lips flat-lined and steely gaze hardened.

"Take my hand."

She regarded him oddly but still complied. Using right hand to grab hold of his left. She was surprised at how much of a tug he used to pull her up. She ended up slamming into his chest and found herself blushing at the contact.

"Not so rough. I'm still sore." She joked. Even though the sleeping together part wasn't anything sexual. Just two people comforting each other for the night.

When Solas didn't laugh or scold. She really started to worry. A drop of sweat rolled down her face as she felt her own lips frown, "Let's continue." She told him, "I'm sure there's a way to get around the block."

His right hand caught her left arm and held her still. She glanced back at him questioning.

The look he gave it shot an arrow through her heart.

Mournful. Was he crying? _**"Solas?"**_

 _ **"Wake up."**_ He commanded.

Ellana sprang forward in an instant. Sheets falling down to the floor, heart skipping a thousand and one beats. She felt the room around her become enclosed, the chilled wind touches her skin from Haven's winter brisk. She turned to see Solas slowly raise, eyes darting over her body before finally settling back on her own.

There was an eerie silence followed.

Ellana didn't understand it.

Was it her comment? 

No, he was acting weird before it.

So what had happened?

"Ellana." There was a pause, "Without the orb."

Ellana groaned, and here she thought it was serious! Before he could go on with his begging Ellana pulled herself from the bed, turning towards him with hands resting on her hips scowling.

"Really the orb! Is that all you ever think about it? You don't _need_ it." She snapped. " _ **Fen'Harel**_ did just fine without it in my world. The Veil fell, _didn't it?_ Forget about the damned orb already and get over yourself!"

There was a furrow in a brow at his words, but he did not retaliate as she expected him to. He was placid and submissive. It was odd, truly an oddity. She didn't understand him, he was nothing like before! 

_Frustrating and irritating!_

"Without the orb," He continued in a bare whisper, "How did you manage to remove the Anchor?" Ellana paused at such a question. Her own brows furrowing. She didn't expect that to come out of his mouth. "It should have killed you."

"I had help." She responded point blank. At first, she thought of trying to skirt around the fact that he had Mythal's power but knowing him. He had already guessed such an outcome. When one path closes, he always managed to find another way out. "Before he left me. That Solas, he-eased the pain-numbed my arm by turning it into stone. The Iron Bull simply finished the job. It was the only option given how much time was left. Why the sudden curiosity?"

"In the Fade...When you touched the door, forgive me, your stump was evident. I'm sorry, it was alarming. I didn't want to press on after that. I was afraid of what might come next. "

"Ah. Well, it's not really that big of a deal Solas. More like a phantom itch if anything. I actually was more appreciative upon losing the Anchor at the time. I became hardened after it. Especially after Fen'Harel put that damned lock on my rift magic."

"Excuse me?" He asked, his voice sounding estranged. "He put a lock on you? _Why_?" Ellana gave him a weary look.

"To clip me of my wings? I couldn't fight for awhile Solas. I spent days locked up in a tower because he wanted me away from the battle."

"Probably because you were pregnant." He said, and she shook her head.

"No, he, Solas didn't know."

"Impossible. He would know." He stated and sounded almost certain of himself. She frowned.

" _ **No**_ , he couldn't have...I doubt he'd purposely attack our child Solas. He stabbed me from behind simply to cripple me."

"Did _he_ outright say this Ellana? _**No**_? I assure you there are other ways to cripple someone." She faltered, taking a step away from him, swallowing at the implication.

"...I don't understand Solas. What are you trying to say?" He put his right hand up as to halt the suddenly quickened beating of her heart upon hearing his version of past portrait.

"I'm sorry I did not mean to drudge up the past. Let's continue this some other time." Ellana felt like an arrow pierced through her heart upon his words.

He was trying to drop the conversation after going on and saying something like that to her! Ellana felt her fists tighten and loosen as she tried to control herself from knocking him upside the head.

"We don't just walk away from this Solas. I need to know. From what you have said. Or insinuated. It sounds like your saying the Solas in my time knew that he-'"

"He aimed for the kill." Solas cut off, and Ellana jaw slackened. "I am sure of it. He aimed to kill your unborn child."

She felt ill at his words. She should have been the one sitting not him. Her face surely paling upon sentence. Ellana turned to find a chair and when she couldn't find one simply learned to nightstand as support. Her back-turned from him so he could not see the look on her face as her mind began to crumble. "I'm sorry."

Ellana felt her mouth clench and right fist tighten once more upon the table-top. "I assume it was done to cut ties. Anything to make it so you would no longer feel such compassion towards him and thus give up on the need to pursue him. You said he put a lock on you. To result in something so underhandedly undoubtedly you must have pushed him into a corner."

"I would not disband the Inquisition." Ellana gritted out, and even then Solas told her that wouldn't have been enough of a reason to issue such a full-scale attack.

"There must be something else. Something your withholding from me."

Ellana weighed out the odds and evens before finally admitting to her own dirty secrets. "I started an interior brigade within the Inquisition whose sole purpose was to venture out and destroy any Eluvians we found. I didn't care about losing out on ancient knowledge. I didn't care about the possibilities that would come from it. I just knew that he cared for them so I wanted to bring as many of them down as I could. I wanted him to suffer for what he put me through. For leaving me. I would destroy his dream."

"And thus he was backed into a corner."

"So this is somehow _**my**_ fault now?"

Her mind reeling towards the Envy demon's nightmare. How the dagger had been in her hand. She had been the one to sever the tie.

"Again, I'm sorry for bringing up the past. I could be wrong. I'm not that person...We should discuss this another time. Besides your shaking Ellana. We simply can't afford to allow you break under such revelations. We need to look at the bigger picture here."

Ellana growled.

"I'll show you breaking," She commented as she grasped the nightstand before picking it up and throwing it across the room. "How's that for breaking one's cool?" She laughed in-between her huffing and puffing. Solas sighed but shook off her temperament and went to pull her into his arms as to comfort her but she detached herself – sickened by his touch.

"Ellana _please_ , be reasonable."

" _ **Reasonable**_?" She screeched, spinning back towards him, eyes blazing. "From what you have told me the answer is clear. I was wrong in assuming his innocents. How silly of me to think otherwise. There is no Wolf. Only _**you**_."

"That's –"He paused, a bead of sweat rolling down his face, "That's not true."

" _ **Is it**_?" She questioned, "Everything from this point that I thought I knew – was inaccurate. I have nothing but more and more unanswered questions now. What happened with The Iron Bull? Did he really sacrifice himself for nothing?"

"To who did such information was made light of?"

"Cassandra. Are you telling me she's a spy for him now too? Should I stop speaking to her?"

" _Ellana_ – _**please, please, please**_ endure this one's curiosity." Ellana huffed, crossing her hands over her chest and went silent. The Elven apostate before her let out a sigh as he grabbed the bridge of his nose. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Ellana assumed he was thinking about what he would have done in her Solas's position. It irked her to no end but she needed answers and he was her best source for them. "To where did Cassandra pray tell find this information?"

"A missive that was delivered to her."

"By whom?"

"One of our spies."

"What kind of spy? One of Leliana's?"

"I'm not telling you."

"It was Elven spy wasn't it?" She scowled. "What was the name?"

"Not every Elf was apart of his rebellion Solas."

"The _**name**_ Ellana."

She sighed before rolling her eyes in defeat.

" _ **Minaeve**_ , the Elven Mage Scholar here in Haven."

"Ah, yes. She works for me." Solas confirmed and Ellana felt parched again. "I guess you have your answer after all. Clearly, this was all a very well coordinated plan by that Solas to keep you from knowing his hand in all this mess. For all we know the Iron Bull could have simply outright fought with him and lost. Though, I don't see The Iron Bull deceased, probably just petrified him to avoid the actual kill. Seems more his style from what I've heard so far."

"So there is a chance The Bull is still alive in my world?"

"I don't see why not. A statue is the would be the problem although."

"Oh gods, I need to sit down, what have I done!"

"Ellana?" He questioned grabbing her frayed hands and helping her to down to the bed. She appeared faint.

" _Dorian_ Solas, _**Dorian**_!" She explained and he tilted his head, still lost.

"I'm sorry? Whose Dorian?"

"Dorian is Bull's Vhenan but _Kadan_ in his term, more or less."

"Ah, we've not run into this person yet? I assume. The Iron Bull I've encountered doesn't seem attached to anyone specific."

"We will. Eventually."

"Ah. So what have you done to Dorian fellow, in your world?"

"I killed him. He wanted to be spared from your hands and to be with Bull. I've done something terrible if Bull yet lives."

"No, if anything you spared Dorian even so. Try to remember, Ellana. Even if you managed to return to your own time and kill the other Solas. The changes to the Veil will ultimately kill the Bull upon being released from that state of mind. A gruesome sight. If anything you've spared Dorian of that would-be horror."

"Ah, but what if I had killed Solas before?"

"If you had killed that Solas before the Veil was torn from the sky then yes this Dorian fellow's death would have been for naught."

Solas watched as Ellana brought the hand to lips, and wept.

"I should have listened to the others. They were right about him, _weren't they_? He was out of my reach. _Wasn't he_?"

"Don't beat yourself over the what ifs Ellana. You were clearly outplayed. This time will be different. I promise you. With the orb, the Veil can be slowly drawn down over time. It could take a millennium but it will fall and by then the people won't notice the difference. There will be no causalities this time. I swear it."

"And what if I fail?" She questioned silently and he asked her to repeat, and with reddened bleary eyes, she repeated the question louder. "What if the orb breaks a second time?"

"It won't come to that."

"But if it does Solas, again, will you leave me?"

"I've already answered this."

"Not you really haven't. I need an answer now more than ever before Solas."

"Yes, but not in the way you think. I swear to alleviate you of that burdened heart you carry and disappear from this world and the next. The name of Fen'Harel will never be drawn on lips again. That is what I've decided to do. You've suffered enough... _Vhenan_." He concluded before reaching out to brush a lone tear from left eye. He held her cheek as he brought his head down to capture her honey sweet lips. They were soft, warm, and everything he could ever hope for. "He was a fool. That Solas." He murmured as he released her face. He was surprised when she yanked him down, forcing him on top of her and into a lopsided kiss. When lips parted, he smiled. " _Ar lath ma' ma'vhenas._ "

" _Ar isalan na, Solas._ "

" _Lasa ar'an alas'nira aron fen'en._ "

"Rise and shine! It's time to hunt some big scary dragon!" Sera cried out as she kicked open the cabin's door thus caused both to jump up in surprise.

Solas, unfortunately, falling off the bed when Ellana pushed him off her. Sera scanned the room before bringing her right hand to her mouth and smiled deviously. "Oh oh, am I interrupting something?" She snickered, "I was looking for Miss Herald but I've stumbled onto something quite naughty and in her bed-chambers no less. Naughty."

Solas grumbled loudly. A hand flying to his forehead as he massaged his temples.

"This is Sera I assume." He gritted out, trying to control himself. "Do you mind Sera?"

"Of course I mind! I'm trying to look for Miss Glowy and your too busy smooching where she ought to be!" Ellana simply blushed, outright damned mortified by the turn of events. She was surprised Solas could still speak. Hell he was managing the situation far better than she imagined.

"Miss Glowy?" He questioned, looking to her for guidance and Ellana lifted her left hand slowly exposing the mark to the two. "Oh for— _ **really?**_ _Ma banal las halamshir var when._ " He deadpanned with a sigh. Sera, in turn, blew a raspberry at him.

"A-huh, you know what else is good? Words that mean things like these, _words_."

_**"Fenedhis lasa."** _

"thbptttttttt."

By now, Sera turned to face Ellana. A smile growing back on her face. "So you have the glowy thing as well. Here I thought there were just two of you. Can't say I blame Mr. Droopy ears for going at yah though. You may not have the oomph but you fit the bill quite nicely...You know in case he's not putting out, I could double what he's offering." She whispered to Ellana with a wink.

"I heard that you know," Solas grumbled. "Can you _please_ just leave or _**must**_ I force you out?"

"Try it, and you'll regret it. Droopy ears say what?"

" _Excuse me_?" Solas he questioned, and Sera rolled her eyes.

"Well, your no fun. Seriously lighten- _e-eh?! Y-you, you-you_!"

" **Hello** , Sera." Ellana managed as Sera pointed at her wildly, mouth agape. "This is why you should knock."

"MISS GLOWY HAS SOME KINKS!" Sera shouted and Ellana sweatdropped. "Wow wow wow, I didn't expect this! Wow. _This is a little disturbing_ _**honestly**_."

"Sera, I'll be out in one minute. I just need a moment with Solas."

Sera scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Must not be too good if it only takes one minute. I wouldn't have you out till sunrise."

"Sera, _**please.**_ " With one last chuckle Sera closed the door behind her. The two could hear her calling to Varric yelling about how he was correct with his assumption. Miss Glowy was real with Mr. Droopy and what's worse was they already were kinky about it to boot.

The two internally sighed when they heard Varric commenting on a job well done. Ellana was practically facepalming.

Haven was the worst.

Seriously.

"I'm sorry Solas, I shouldn't have let you stayed," Ellana told him, knowing he didn't want to be known as being together openly with her.

" _Halam'shivanas_ , I suppose." He replied surprising her altogether. She felt tears well into her eyes – not out of sadness but rather out of pure bliss.

" _Ar lath vir suledin_."

Solas looked up at her, smiling.

" _ **Yes**_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ar lath ma' ma' vhenas. - I love you. You are my home.
> 
> Ar isalan na – I need you.
> 
> Lasa ar'an alas'nira aron fen'en - Let us dance as the wolves do
> 
> Ma banal las halamshir var when - You do nothing to further our people.
> 
> Fenedhis last – go suck a wolf dick
> 
> Halam'shivanas – The Sweet Sacrifice of Duty.
> 
> Ar lath vir ruled in –Our love will endure


	24. Expulsion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good -- I was actually being re-directed to something better.”  
> -Dr. Steve Maraboli.

“You can't be serious!” Ellana shouted at her so-called counterpart as she slammed her left fist on the war-table. Josephine visibly winced, looking towards Cassandra for help who was currently standing arms crossed, lips lined in observation. 

“I gave you – _**your**_ assignment _**Evelyn**_.” Mahanon told her. “Had you woken up _earlier_ – things might have been different. You would have been able to have a higher opinion on the matter. I'm sorry Evelyn,” He said, as he straightened his back out from the lurched form he held before, “I will be leading this mission.”

Ellana laughed at the irony. Of course, her spending time with Solas meant that she would lose what little authority she had left. 

What luck!

Now the whole save the world concept was being ripped out of her hands and thrown into the next supposed best option – Mahanon. Her past self. Naive, blinded by youth, soon to lead the world to ruin. 

_Fenedhis!_

“So let me get this straight.” She bit out as she picked up his flagged marker. “you're going to Redcliffe Castle to side with the _mages_.” Ellana set the marker on top of Redcliffe and twirled it. “That's good to hear and all except for one major flaw.” She began as knocked the flag marker over and shook her head, laughing. “The fact that you're going without _me_. Me the _**mage**_ of the group. How does that make any sense? Tell me, I can't wait to hear such an absurd answer!”

Her question was to Mahanon, but her eyes were redirected onto Cassandra, furious. 

“Cassandra defended your urgency to go, Evelyn,” Leliana spoke up reminding Ellana of the Nightingale’s unrestrained position in power. “It was _my_ decision who solely turned the table away from ultimately favoring you over Mahanon.” Leliana allowed her right hand to trace over the left side of the table, she paused when she stood next to Cullen who appeared awkward at the discourse. Ellana knew he wanted to negotiate with the Templars as former Captain. “Cullen, what did you say was your opinion on how the Herald reacted in Orlais?” Cullen swallowed, but upon clearing his throat, voiced his thoughts into light.

“Had there been no Envy Demon. We could have been put into a deadlock with the Chantry.”

“And we could have lost the people's support.” Josephine added, “Think about it - trade would have been a disaster for our cause. We would have been back to square one and thankfully that didn't happen...”

“Because I intervened,” Ellana stated factually but the others disagreed. 

“No Evelyn. What you did was risky, you went too far.” Leliana stated, continuing her stride around the left side of the table, dagger now in hand. Ellana felt her mana snap alert, whenever Leliana raised weapon it was never a good sign. Ellana felt cornered then and she made way to speak the truth. “Even if it was for the good of the people,” Leliana announced, pushing words back into the throat as she proved to be always one step ahead. Noticing every facial expression drawn on her face and calculating a way to counter-attack.  
Leliana paused at Cassandra. “What did you say when Evelyn was first presented to us, Cassandra?”

The Seeker froze, arms dropping to side, and then looked towards Ellana before dropping eyes downcast, ashamed.

“This isn't fair Leliana. What I said back then, I didn't know Evelyn very well. I was wrong.”

“But what did you say, Cassandra?” Leliana asked, playing with the knife in right hand. Cassandra sighed, glanced towards Ellana once more with a foreboding look. 

“Too personal. Too messy. Not what this Inquisition needs.” _'I'm sorry.'_ Was mouthed in her direction and Ellana rolled her eyes, bored with the direction this conversation was leading her.

“So what does this Inquisition need?” Ellana asked, before pointing back to Mahanon, “A leader who is on a leash?” Then to herself, “Or a leader who knows when to take action?” 

“ _Neither_ ,” Leliana replied hotly as she continued to side-step past the Seeker and approach Ellana at last. “The Inquisition needs a leader who knows how to take orders as well as give them.” Ellana couldn't suppress the laugh. “Apparently something I have said humors you.” She raised the dagger, and let the reflection of Evelyn's form flash bitterly back at Ellana. “Would you mind sharing?”

Ellana tore her eyes from such sight. She should be used to seeing Evelyn. But still, it irked her to no end knowing they would never see her as herself. Her clan now Mahanon's responsibility and her new family, distant, unloving. “You think _I'm_ too personal...But then you want _**Solas**_ to be there.” Her eyes were instantly locked towards the spymaster's curious orbs with dancing laughter. “So yes, call me, most humored indeed.”

Leliana’s form dropped, dagger returning to its sheath.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She questioned, now slightly intrigued by a hinted drop and Ellana shrugged.

“Who knows?” Cassandra let out a snicker from behind, and Leliana whirled in the Seekers direction. 

“Ah,” Cassandra flushed, “Sorry my mind was elsewhere...This good book I read...” Leliana glowered but accepted it, she turned back towards Ellana whose gaze now settled towards Mahanon. Currently, he was unsuccessfully trying to reason with the Circle Mage.

“If anything happens Evelyn,” Mahanon began trying to level with her. “We need to have our best healer on board. That person you know damn well is to be Solas.”

“Ah yes, of course, how silly of me to not comprehend the situation at hand Mahanon. You clearly need our best healer for a chit-chat with exiled home-seeking mages. While I on the other hand--should be perfectly fiddle taking on an _dragon_ without such a much needed reliable source. I can concur this is the most marvelous and well thought out plan yet.” 

“I heard _Vivienne_ is quite proficient in that department.” Cullen piped up, “Perhaps having her at your side will help alleviate some stress, Evelyn.” 

Ellana sighed. He did have a point. Vivienne was a monster when it came to fighting dragons.

“Well— _actually_ —I'm taking Vivienne along with me too,” Mahanon announced beaming and Ellana couldn't believe the bullshit coming out of his mouth. 

He basically was sending her out to fight without Solas and Vivienne. The only two healers in the group...Well, there was, of course, Dorian but he was in Redcliffe awaiting to make his dashing presence known. 

“Mahanon, can't you be at least a _little_ considerate?” Ellana snapped. 

It was bad enough he was taking her position in power. 

Now he was taking away her favorite squad choices. 

Not that there was anything wrong with the others – it just – _**ugh**_ – If only he knew. But telling them about the future – how they would react – it was not the optimal choice. She needed the attack on Haven to remain a surprise. The buying time part – was crucial. 

“What? I need a good bodyguard to assist me!” He told Ellana but quickly frowned when Cassandra coughed. “Other than you of course Cassandra.” The Seeker did not appear pleased by this and shook her head.

“Are you implying that my maneuvering skills are not up to par with Madam de Fars? _**Mahanon**_?” She questioned, and Mahanon was quick to tell her otherwise. 

“It's just we need someone else distracting the enemy while I slip by undetected! Vivienne can do this. She's got great form!”

“Ugh, _**please.**_ I could take her down easily – blind-folded and chained to a wall.”

“Now there's something I'd like to see,” Cullen said laughing, and Mahanon agreed naturally. 

“At least take Iron Bull with you.” Ellana cut in, rolling her eyes at their audacity. Mahanon reacted by raising a brow as did Cassandra. “Least one of us won't get cock-blocked that way.” Cassandra nearly fell over, and Josephine let out a bundle of coughs, most flustered by the change in conversation.

“Cock-blocked? _Excuse me_?” Mahanon questioned, “I get that you mean Solas but the who else are you referring to?”

“Does that mean you'll agree to let Mahanon lead way?” Leliana stepped in, most pleased. 

“Yes, of course, I will! This is _Dorian and Bull_ we're talking about here! _**Groundbreaking relationship goals!**_ If you're going to deny me – _**fine**_ but you shouldn't deny Iron Bull of a perfectly fine fellow. Especially upon hearing such entertaining stories about how Dorian got so excited once that he set curtains on fire– _FIRE!_ Well from what I've heard anyways...So again, if you're not going to take the Bull to meet Dorian. There is no way I'm agreeing to any of this.”

There was a pregnant pause that followed. Ellana didn't understand it until finally, Leliana broached the outburst with delicate curiosity. 

“ _Dorian_? Who exactly is Dorian?”

XXX

“I can't believe I agreed to this,” Ellana mumbled as she handed off her horse to the guard stationed at Dusklight Camp. Behind her, Sera laughed as she jumped down from her own pony before tying it to a nearby post.

“Don't go all frown-face on us now Evelyn. I bought tons of extra potions that I found lying about.”

“You mean you stole them Buttercup.” Varric clarified as he dismounted from his Ram and Sera simply shrugged.

“It's not my fault that flower-picker left them right out and open! Ripe for the picking I'll say.”

“I like the way you think Sera. It's important to be on top of things.” Bull commended as he slapped her back with his right hand. Sera jolted up but quickly settled and let out a merry laugh. 

“The others don't know what they're missing. Who wants to talk to a bunch of _stinkin'_ mages anyways? The real fight is out here, getting down and _dirty_. _**Dragons. Rawr!**_ They are what really gets the muscles moving! _Arms tingling!_ _**Blood screaming!**_ ”

“Easy Buttercup one might think inappropriate things.” Varric commented and there was another round of snorting laughter that followed such a silly claim.

“ _Stinkin' mages_?” Ellana quipped as she suddenly felt very vulnerable and self-conscious. “Do you have a problem with mages Sera?” Sera waved off her worries.

“My problem is _**Magic.**_ If mages sat on their hands, everything would be fine. No offense, of course, Evelyn, you're not smelly in the least bit.”

“I would hope not.” Ellana muttered as she leads them toward the Blood Cliffs. Varric scurried past her to collect some Iron ore deposit. When he turned around, she heard him mutter. 

“Well shit.”

“Come to think of it Evelyn, don't you've got some kind of affinity with healing magic too?” Sera asked halting Ellana before she could follow Varric's pale-faced gaze. “Considerin' Mage and all - pissing away magic like gold.” Ellana felt her mouth twitch in disgust. But she shook her head and choose to ignore it.

“Magic doesn't work that way Sera. I only know a decent level of offensive spells. Nothing really defensive wise. Maybe for a few projectile barriers but nothing as fancy as what Solas and Vivienne are capable of.” 

There was a snort.

“What good are you then?” Ellana heard Sera mutter and Ellana gave out a weary sigh. “Seriously Evelyn. If you can't heal us front liners then get in the back and watch from afar. I got this one in the bag, just don't get in my way.” 

“Your way?” Ellana echoed shocked. She felt her fists tighten. “ Have you forgotten about my specializations Sera?” 

“Oh --you must mean that weird what's it called, Knight-whatever, Rift-whatever.”

“ _Knight Enchanter._ Battle Magic. _Rift Mage._ So I can understand fade forces.” 

“Yeah, _not helping._ At most, you sound like Mr. Droopy Ears and he's weird. Hell, you both are."

"How are we weird? Because were _mages_? That doesn't make any sense at all Sera." Ellana commented.

"Come off! Many people have never met a mage before Evelyn. _Me_ in particular being one of them! _Pfft!_ Seriously after everything I've heard about mages - Kirkwall - That Chantry - so much raw destructive power harboring inside them - corruption - abombinations - how could you possibly think for one second that I'd ever want to fight alongside an _mage_? I still don't know you...So you're scary that's all.”

Ellana faltered at this. She never heard this from Sera before. “And in truth, I don't want you to be a scary mage. I like you. Your fun and all but seriously _mage._ _**Mage.**_ "

"You know Sera. Even healers can be scary. I heard if you make them angry enough they can turn into giant wolves that rip the bare skin from flesh.”

“ _Er, what?! Please don't go telling me that!_ I have enough a time just worrying about _you_ – now I got to worry about Evil lady coming after me once she find out that prank I left set out for her."

“Relax Sera, I was joking. If there's anything I can promise you – is that I won't betray you. I'm here to protect you. You don't have to fear me.” 

“Right, just don't cast any of that magic whatever bullshit crap near me yeah. Decent request don't you think?” 

“Hey guys, don't mean to be a downer but it seems like this Lady Shayna's Valley is the Dragon's territory. Oh, this is gonna be good.” Bull commented as he now stood towering aside Varric to see the Frostback Dragon resting in the distance on a mountainside. 

“Calm down Tiny. We need to come up with a plan before we broach this thing head on...So anyone got any _plans_?” Varric asked, by now he seemed snapped back to reality, but there were some definite signs of worry lingering in his orbs.

“What's that supposed to mean? You just shoot it in the face until it falls to the ground, _BAM! WHAM! DEAD._ Simple really.”

“That's all good and sweet Buttercup but I'd prefer its face to be far far away from us as much as possible. No Cassandra meat shield to protect us from such flames and before you even mention the mage in our group. Let's quickly remind ourselves that Evelyn is a Frost Mage specialization. The Dragon's flame breath will surely melt anything she conjures.”

“Actually that's not true Varric. According to the reports Liliana has briefed me on- our winged friend here, the Ferelden Frostback, is considerably weak to Ice Magic.”

“How does that make any sense?” Varric asked, “Are you sure that Nightingale wasn't just trying to get back at you or something?”

“Just trust me, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Boss.” Ellana rose a brow at the nickname. She found herself almost instantly drawn to Bull. He was intently watching the Dragon in the distance, a grin growing on his face. He couldn't wait to get a shot at it. 

Bull being the ever observant one, flicked his eyes towards her sensing watched gaze. Ellana swallowed roughly. She still didn't know how to approach him in the least bit. Their introductions being a wee-bit— _odd._ Surprisingly he flashed a smile at her.  
“You're not alone in this Boss,” She felt her heart skip when he, at last, called her as he would before. “Besides my ax can withstand the flames of hell. That's why the ladies _love_ to ride The Bull. A feat maybe one day you'll get to achieve, _**Boss.**_ ” He told her winking.

Ellana paled.

_**Oh, Maker.** _

The Iron Bull was flirting with her. 

The scene went from heart-warming to wanting to go to the nearest bush and throwing up behind it. 

“Nice try big guy but the Elf always takes the Elf so that bumping bits will mean something. It's rather boring so don't keep your hopes up.” Sera snipped. Bull laughed, looking at Sera oddly.

“What Elf are you referring to Sera? Because from what I can see--” He looked Ellana up and down. “That right there is a Human. Maybe you need to get your eyes checked Sera.”

“I can see just fine _you_ – _**you**_ – _wanker!_ Piss and shit head in the brain - the one who can't see here is you! Evelyn is already taken by Solas.”

“Solas?” Bull questioned, still not really familiar with everyone's names quite yet. 

“The really grumpy Elf – Tiny. He reminds me of Broody so much that if I close my eyes long enough...I think I'd swore that Broody was standing there instead. Honestly, I'd hate to see those two in the same room together that's for damn sure.” 

“ _Oh_. _**Him.**_ Yeah, I'm not too fond of _**him.**_ I've seen self-taught warriors before but his _magic_ \-- It's just something I've never seen before - and I've seen them all. It just doesn't clunk. If I were you, I'd be on your toes around Solas Boss. Your playing with more than just fire now.” 

Ellana swallowed. 

“I know. I will.” 

“We are still talking about the same thing, _right?_ You know the Dragon? That one, that's just right over there.” Varric questioned, and Bull laughed, nodding. “Right so, plans?” 

“Why are you looking at me Varric?” Ellana questioned, hell they all were. 

It was a bit unnerving. 

“Your the one with the glowy hand and the leader of this rag-tag brigade Boss, so point the way and I’ll follow. Besides if we somehow come out of this thing unscratched – imagine what kind of book it would make. Oh, it would be glorious. I could finally put that awful shit series, 'Swords and Shields,' behind me.” 

“It's not shit Varric. One might say it's poetic.” Ellana told him and Varric hummed. 

“ _Wait, you read my books_ Boss?” 

“ _ **Uh--**_ ” 

“About that -- we should really put this shit on hold. The damn thing just spotted us and it looks freakin' pissed.” 

“Up she goes,” Varric commented watching the Fereldan Frostback take flight into the air. He would have kept watching fly off into the distance had Sera not let out a startled cry. 

“Ready your weapons! Two Dragonlings spotted at 12:00!” Sera yelled as she wasted no time and readied her bow. She pulled back the string and let loose an arrow that flew into the mouth of one dragonling who had attempted to aim a spit fireball at them. The Dragonling fell over backward twitching before finally settling, dead. 

“Alright, _**finally**_ some action!” Iron Bull cried out as he charged out of the cavern and down towards the enemy whilst he swung his massive ax down on it. It let out a wailing cry of pain as it jumped up and down with blood gushing from its wound. 

“First things first, we need to keep moving Bull!” Ellana shouted as Bull turned back to grumble at Sera who had apparently steadied another arrow, and shot it towards that very dragonling – stealing the kill from The Iron Bull's clutches. 

There was a roar in the distance, booming so loudly that the earth quivered underneath as the Dragon made its presence known once again. The flapping of its long orange wings sending gusts that caused boulders plummeting below. Varric cursed loudly as a fireball shot in his direction. Making the Dwarf preform an Evasive Jump as he landed in a puddle - soiling mud all over his nice new clean boots after that damned accursed Mire from yesterday. 

“Come off Varric, there's another!” Sera told him as she reached for another arrow from her quiver. She would not get to take aim however as another arrow whizzed past her right cheek - ending the Dragonling's pursuit after them. “Really?” She questioned, clearly annoyed. 

“ _Nice shot Varric._ ” Bull commended as he glanced back at the two. Yet as he did the Elven archer was now steadily glaring at him. 

“Thanks, Tiny. What can I say? Bianca's feeling feisty today.” Sera sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“Well tell Bianca to buzz off. I would have gotten that one just fine. _**Rude**_ at best.” 

“ _Hypocrite._ ” Bull bit back, glaring. 

“Everyone j-just stops already! That Frostback will be back here in any second and you know it! We need to keep moving! Up ahead there is a passage that will lead us to Bloodcliffe Canyon. It's the perfect battlefield. Clear and plenty of space for us to dodge these fucking fire bolts being thrown at us! Think about it – do you really want to deal with unnecessary falling debris mid-battle?” 

“She's got a point,” Varric said as he moved closer to where they were standing. Out and away from under the mountain-tops that could drop down on them at any given time. Sod it all. He could get another pair of boots once all this was done and over with. “Let's get into gear Boys and Girls, we've got a Dragon to take down!” 

“Aye-aye!” Ellana shouted as she fade-stepped across the river to slam left hand-blade into the throat of an unsuspecting Dragonling. She would make the council know that she was a force to be reckoned with. They would regret excluding her. Mahanon would surely shit his pants upon seeing Corypheus's future and she would have the last laugh. Ellana looked back to see Bull, Sera, and Varric trailing behind. Okay sure they weren't the best match-up but they were enough and that's all that really mattered. 

Above the Fereldan Frostback thundered, and Ellana prepared for another sweep. Her eyes steeled as she watched it appear out from the clouds in the distance. Loud and fierce as it flew overcast and made to land in the distance. Waiting for them to answer the call. Ellana grinned. 

_Elgara vallas, in tu setheneran din emma na. Dareth shiral._

**XXX**

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Elgara vallas, in tu setheneran din emma na : The sun sets, but do not dwell in lands no longer yours.  
> Dareth shiral : farewell; literally "Safe journey."
> 
> *(Also)* if its not clear - I've decided that Varric's nickname for Ellana be "Boss," just like Iron Bull. Shrug, I just thought it would be ironic and funny. I'm odd - forgive me -


	25. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited." - Lewis B. Smedes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N) Just wanted to say that - this may be a messy chapter -more so towards the end.  
> I kept falling asleep mid-way on typing it. It's like 3 am so - when you see it - that's zombie me.  
> It turns less detailed and more - cut to the point.  
> Hopefully its still bearable but if not thanks again for sticking around though.
> 
> (*) - Implies - Trespasser only skill.

“Damn, would you look at that! That is _Magnificent!_ ” Bull gushed as the Fereldan Frostback let out a bellowing screech. Besides him, Ellana felt her lips part in a silent laugh. Bringing Bull along for the ride wasn't so much as a waste as she thought it would be. After all, he did have an attachment to Dragons and depriving him of such adventures – just wouldn't be fitting. 

Ellana glanced to her right, Sera was already making her way up the cliff. She was planning to attack from a raised platform - it was a good idea considering the Dragon's gusts would not reach her from up there. Varric, on the other hand, was heading left carrying a bundle of Caltrops. Ellana had instructed him to keep his distance while they kept the Frostback preoccupied. Set-up some traps in the meantime, and then rejoin them if the situation called for it. 

Hopefully, he could remain on the outskirts though. In truth Ellana wanted this to be over with as fast as possible. Re-grouping with Solas was a must. She had wrongfully given him the cold shoulder when she was out of the chapel. He was waiting for a debriefing instead she pushed past him and whistled a horse before calling for Varric, Sera, and Bull to prepare to head out. When Solas attempted to converse, she mounted her horse and instead of telling him what was wrong – she pulled the reigns on her mount away from him. 

“ _Dar'eth Shiral_.” She whispered leaving, his response curt but forgiving.  
“ _Tas dar'eth_. “ 

She missed him. A foolish fleeting feeling to have. He would not leave her now. She was assured. So she must push past it and focus on what was at hand. Pushing forward with a Chain Lightning, the Dragon turned gaze away from Varric and onto the two fighters that dared to attack. 

Ellana watched as it drew flame from stomach to mouth preparing to hit them dead on.

“ _Wait for it._ ” Bull commented from her left. He was right beside her and she couldn't help but smile. Apparently, they were both on the same page – _useful._

By the time they were at arm's length with the beast, it jumped back and let loose a ball of flame. 

“ _ **Now!**_ ” Ellana cried out and Iron Bull used a Combat Roll diving into a would-be flanking position before reaching into his satchel to pull out a hooked chain. 

Ellana, on the other hand, had fade-stepped through the blast, using prepared Fade Shield and Cloak as an absorbent to set up next chained would-be Mana Surge spell. Thankfully the Dragon was unable to move with the ice trail her fade-stepping had left behind. “Iron Bull!” Ellana called out before she drew back to fall into a Winter Stillness or put simply a meditative stance. Bull wasted no time to react thankfully as he put his muscles to work – swinging the hook round and round before casting it outwards. Fishing for vantage and sure enough hook grasped front left leg. 

“ _ **Taarsidath-an halsaam**_!” Bull cried out and for a moment Ellana felt her eyes flicker, almost dropping concentration upon hearing that battle cry. Pushing past it – Ellana continued to focus on her role to play on this battlefield.

 _Almost. Just a little more time._ Her mind whispered as she felt the power surge into her fingertips. With a right hand now grabbing for staff, Ellana twirled it before slamming it down to the ground – eyes now open – glowing a shimmering aqua. 

On command, a Chilling Array* of Ice Mines formed directly in front of her. 

Meanwhile – After his battle cry, Bull had jerked the damned beast towards him and gave the Frostback a Good Boot to the face. The Dragon winced at such a strong right kick but managed to break free of stun, turning attention on The Iron Bull. 

 

With what could be described as snapping frustration the Frostback made way to bite down on The Iron Bull only to be met with an unsuspecting erupted blast that knocked the Dragon onto its side right into Ellana's freshly coated Ice Mines.

Its sudden attacker, Sera, stood above on the cliff giving a salute to the Frostback with a wide grin. She would make her presence known with an impressive Explosive Shot.

“Bull go for the throat!” Sera cried out and Bull snapped forward – dropping chain and reached for his trusted ax.

“ _ **Katara, Ataashi!**_ ” He cried out as he swung ax down on the fallen beast. Unfortunately, the blow would not connect instead the Bull found himself knocked back by an ever-resilient Dragon's right wing. It seemed while Ellana's spells did weaken it significantly down – the Dragon would not be slowed– but rather just rooted to one spot momentarily.

Ellana cursed, glancing at Bull who was getting back on his feet – looking a bit dazed. She watched him reach for his spare health potions and turned her attention back to the massive beast in front of her. Bull would be fine – she on the other hand. Needed to close the gap. 

Thankfully the Dragon seemed to think she was unable to fight up close and pulled her in with one of its Maelstrom attacks. It didn't take very long for the Dragon to realize the error in its way's after a few precision strikes with now activated Amplified Blade.* The Frostback panicked, attempting to jump away. 

“You're not going anywhere, _Bitch_.” Ellana snapped breaking sword from the left hand and lifted her left arm with concentrated mana to summon forth a rift. It yanked at the Dragon, causing them to stumble but it wasn't enough. Not in this form – this body. Her mana just didn't have the same oomph to it and with a strong pushing resolve off its hind legs – the damned thing set off into the skies and her wishing for Solas to be back at her side once more.

With a frustrated grunt, Ellana closed the rift and watched the dragon whip around, preparing to sweep down on her with flaming breath. “ _Fuck!_ ” Ellana had to Fade Step away into a nearby bush and nearly gave jump when she toppled into Varric's hiding spot. He too wasn't pleased to see her either.

“I thought I made it clear to you guys when I said please keep it away from my face – that you know – it wouldn't be looking directly at me anytime soon.” She gave him a weak smile.

“Change of plans?”

“I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit.” He muttered fore-longing their plans and pulling a hook out from side belt. 

“None of us do Varric.” She told him as they both watched the Dragon circle back around after attempting to blast Sera from afar. 

“ _ **Friggin' Cunt!**_ ” They heard her yell as she too Evasive Jumped and shifted ever so quickly to follow the Frostback's movements. To the pleasant surprise and with extraordinary precision Sera lined up for the perfect shot. A Full Draw that drove the great beast to retreat right towards them. 

“Here it comes!” Varric stated, preparing throw. 

“Ah,” Ellana replied, drawing staff once more with free right hand. Pulling mana from staff - Ellana used left had to conjure a great Ring of Ice* capturing the Dragon in its cage. Varric took the momentum to latch his Grappling Hook to its back and pull himself onto the captured beast. 

The Dragon cried out in response, dazing them slightly, and in response to those great wails, a bundle of Dragonlings appeared from the Lady Shayna's Valley - coming to defend mother's grace. Iron Bull, however, greeted such uninvited guests with a wide-cut Whirlwind-like attack sending them flying. Sera, on the other hand, picked off any that tried to brush past him. 

“Don't think you can escape my Death from Above – _you little shits_!” She cackled from her elevated spot. Those poor Dragonlings never stood a chance between Sera and Bull's swift counter-attacks.

Varric, however, whom now was balancing himself – pulled poison dagger from belt buckle and drove it into the Dragon's back. It lurched back and forth causing Varric to stumble, dropping blade from hand. He cursed, but he wasn't done yet. He threw down his spare Caltrops, and then prepared Bianca for the follow-up. It was risky, but sometimes risky business is necessary. He back-flipped off the beast and fired off an Explosive Shot on his own accord. The blast would hit both Ellana and him but the Dragon let out a final wail of pain before finally giving out dead.

The aftermath of it led to Ellana and Varric being carried back to camp. A few scrapes, but all and all dead Dragon. Iron Bull was ecstatic, he wanted the damn thing mounted on the cavern ceiling. Sera gloated on about how she managed to hit a moving target and scare it off all the while. What they didn't count on was the missive waiting for them nor the dreaded news that followed.

“What's it say?” Sera asked, peering over Ellana's shoulder hoping to get a glance at the scroll. Ellana quickly shut it. Placing scroll back into the pouch. Expression placid. 

“Sera take Varric back to Haven. He needs the rest. Bull you're coming with me.”

“What are you nuts? I mean just _look_ at you!” She shouted pointing to Ellana's attire. "Your clothing is in tatters and – _and_ – you got hurt! There's even some dried blood...If anyone should go it's Bull and me! You should be resting!” 

Ellana couldn't help but smile at Sera's words. It's true she looked worse for ware – hell her body ached like hell but her limbs continued to move when they shouldn't. “It's something that concerns me though – and besides I wasn't as close as Varric. I'm okay.”

“You really, _really,_ _**really**_ sure you're alright? I, it just doesn't feel right to leave you like this.” 

“I'm really okay Sera. _Really,_ besides Solas is waiting for me. Viv' and he can patch me right up. Well, that is if Vivienne manages to keep Solas's frantic hands off me first.” She said in reassurance towards the huntress, laughing all the more.

“Well okay, just stay safe. I know you can handle yourself and all – but you have to remember others are counting on you. Don't do anything rash. We need you, I need you. Who else will make mages _slightly_ tolerant?” Sera asked wistfully before she went over to Varric's Ram and attempted to mount it. Thankfully Bull steadied her up, there was some exchange of thanks between the two. Bull asking to meet up at the Tavern for drinks as to celebrate their victory when he returned. Sera smiled, sticking out a tongue playfully as she said, “Only if yer buying.”

“I'm sure this one will be in the house!” He exclaimed, glancing back to see some of the guards preparing to go out to fetch the fossil left behind. 

“I would hope so considering the little shit almost turned me into an Elvish shish-kebab – sorted her right out though.” She snorted, “One good arrow to the face always makes their heads spin. Scares the shit right out of them, sometimes I've even _seen_ them piss themselves. Hilarious!” 

“You truly have a way with words Sera...Why are you pointing your arrow at me?”

“So you know to back off!” She said before lowering her bow. “But if you know some nice Lady Qunari friends. I wouldn't mind the compliments, nor the after party that will follow.”

“What do –I wasn't... _ **Right.**_ ” Sera rolled her eyes and re-tied her bow to her back before grabbing the reigns from Ellana to her pony. Iron Bull lifted Varric up, and let Sera strap him in- in front of her. Once they were sure he was secure – Sera made the motion to exit.

“Right then, off I go.” She said, turning away.  
“Off you go.” Both Bull and Ellana said in union and shared a smile about their like-minded agendas. Sera paused, glanced back once more. Her eyes on Ellana's with a furrowed brow.

“Sera?”

Sera shook her head, and without saying a word – pulled on her reigns and disappeared out of sight. “I wonder if she's all right.”

“Sera? She can take care of herself.”

“I know she can – it's just – _sometimes_ I _**feel**_ like there's something else there. I just can't see it... _Hmm..._ ”

“Not to be the downer here but what was that letter about – has there been some trouble?”

Ellana glanced up at him, slightly confused.

“What makes you think it is?” 

Iron Bull let out a laugh before finally settling into a silent grin.

“Spy remember?”

“Ah right – Should I worry the Qunari will come knocking on my door if I tell you what's going on?”

“Aw don't be like that Boss! I was simply stating what I am and what I do. Besides when you were reading over that missive – your stance changed significantly. Your shoulders dropped, and your back seemed to straighten out. Almost like your inner thoughts were latching onto every sentence. Which appeared to be the right assessment when your bangs fell over your eyes. I knew then – just from the tension radiating from you that something was amiss. The others, that guy, Solas – maybe in particular?”

“ _ **No**_ , _not_ Solas, but your right in your assessment. It's _Mahanon._ ” 

That got Bull's attention.

“What happened?” He questioned, pulling her to the side away from the ear-shot of wandering eyes.

“One of our mage friends decided to spring a trap on the others in Redcliffe. As far as they know Mahanon's been sucked into the void. But that's not true. He just hasn't returned yet from _that_ world or _time_ rather. “

“You've experienced this before?” It was a statement more than a question but still, Ellana nodded.

“It's odd that he hasn't returned yet. When I was gone – I managed to return within the same fraction as I disappeared. Mahanon, however, is still missing and honestly, it doesn't make sense...” Ellana pulled missive from the pouch with the left hand. “...Solas is calling for me. He thinks I'll be able to make this right but even I don't know if I can do anything.” 

Bull rested a right hand on left shoulder. 

“Won't know until we try Boss.”

Ellana smiled. 

“You got me there.”

XXX

“I got here as fast as I could,” Ellana told Grand Enchanter who was the first person to greet her upon arriving at Redcliffe. Fiona looked a somber state. Wouldn't even look up at her upon realizing she was the second Herald.

“I'm sorry. Had I known this would have happened – I would have never asked for help with freeing the mages. Perhaps the Circles--”

“It's not your fault. You couldn't have known this was to happen. Just know that the Inquisition still stands with you. The mages are under our protection now.” Fiona sucked in her breath and nodded. 

“Thank you, Herald.” She told Ellana and finally lifted her head. Eyes shimmering, but face growing blank upon absorbing Ellana's appearance. “You—you have been _busy?_ ”

“Dragons...”  
“ _ **...Yeah.**_ ” Iron-bull finished and Fiona was rendered speechless.

“Um...So where are the others?” Ellana questioned, a trail of sweat rolling down her face. 

“Inside but it's not a pretty sight Herald.”

“It's alright,” Ellana responding, cracking a weak smile. “I'm used to seeing unsightly things.”

“After you then,” Fiona said, pushing the door open and Ellana nodded. She entered to see Cassandra in the arms of Vivienne. It was a double-check moment for sure.  
One moment they are fighting and now they are friends again. Then again their relationship has always been an oddity.  
Cassandra was sobbing - mourning Mahanon. The Seeker hit the hardest of the bunch. Ellana knew the Seeker secretly loved him. Theirs banters proving it.  
Vivienne – who normally wore straight face – was cracking. Hell, they hadn't even noticed that she walked right past them, her attention locked onto a certain Elf. 

_Solas._

He had pinned Alexius against the fireplace. Staff pressed against the neck, strangling but enough air to still breath and talk for the matter. 

Alexius's throne-like chair had been knocked to the floor. There had been a scuffle and in the center of the room, she saw something of greater interest. 

The Locket. 

The one Alexius used against Mahanon to send him away. 

“ _ **You,**_ ” Alexius breathed out – eyes weary as they took in her features. “You are the one this trip was for. You were supposed to be here. Envy said it to be so. Instead – I get stuck with _second_ pickings.”

“You will hold your tongue Alexius.” Solas hissed. “Speaking is likely to _prejudice_ Felix's welfare.”

The Magistrate fell silent in obedience. His actions cruel – yes – but Ellana knew the love he had for his son was real. Felix was all he had left. 

Ellana's gaze locked to the Magistrate now - brow slightly raised upon hearing his words. 

So Envy was behind this. 

Still though – The situation at hand was very odd. 

Mahanon should have been back. 

Corypheus's world was not unbeatable.  
It was flawed and with the power of the Mark at Mahanon's disposal then he surely would have been able to escape.  
Especially with the companions he chooses. 

Ultimately the very same decisions as her. 

_So why-why hasn't he –_ and then it hit her.  
Alexius's words. 

The Elder One was not involved.  
Envy was the main driving force.  
Envy – the very demon who saw into her soul.  
The would-be world.  
The ruin.  
The chaos and in the center of it all.

_**Fen'Harel.**_

 

“You sent Mahanon into my world.” She breathed out, horror etched on her face as she took the implication in. Her throat starting to grow dry at such revelations – which also would imply that Dorian was also – _**oh gods.**_

_**Oh, Gods.**_

Ellana felt like she was sinking. Her knees giving out as she dropped to the floor in utter shock. Her eyes falling towards broken Amulet. She reached out to it with the left hand, grasped it angrily, and threw her head back to curse loudly.

She was crying again.  
So useless. 

Her mission was supposed to be - go back and fix things.

This wasn't fixing.

No, it was much worse.

Dooming another to her fate wasn't part of the plan.

Neither was losing Dorian. 

_A second time._

Liliana was right – her meddling allowed for Envy to see her for what she was.

_A Trespasser._  
She had always been just that.

This world deserved better. 

Mahanon would have made better choices. Mahanon wouldn't have held back – there were no strings attaching him to Solas. No reason to feel entitled to keep him alive. Mahanon was the true Inquisitor.

This was all her fault.

Everything was her fault.

One bad decision after the next.  
**So why stop now?** Evelyn's voice came and Ellana paused, thinking it over. **Wars aren't won by playing it safe. Sometimes tripping over your own two feet – hardens the soul. Isn't that right** \- _**Inquisitor**_? 

Ellana grunted, holding the bridge of her nose. A splitting migraine would come from this talk, but in the end – Evelyn was right. 

She would rise once again.

“Is there a way to reverse this?” She questioned as she managed to wave off a dizzy spell. Even just talking to Evelyn made things complicated. In fact, Ellana could faintly hear The Iron Bull calling to her – he was worried – she knew – but right now Ellana just couldn't bring her gaze to meet his face. 

When Alexius wouldn't answer, Ellana sighed. She realized he was keeping silent for Solas and thus had to tell Solas to promptly back off. Once he did, Alexius was now on the floor looking up at her with such hateful eyes.

“The deed is done.One less Herald the Elder One needs to concern himself with.”

“Could you cast the spell again?” Ellana wondered. 

It did not take long to hear the objections. 

Solas being the first to react.  
Ellana watched as his mouth twitched open to protest but then firmly shut once he finally saw her.  
She really shouldn't be laughing.

Yet Ellana was.  
_Solas._

He had managed to turn a very extreme situation into a joke worthy one.  
Especially since he was scolding her like a child about her past boo-boos.  
It became much more embarrassing when he closed the gap between them. 

Yes going from scolding her to kissing her.  
Revealing her.  
Yes, one of the many pleasures she would have to endure in this non-secretive relationship with the worry wart of the group.

Now all she needed was Sera.

Oh that's right – back at Haven.  
_Fenedhis._ “So like I said, could you cast the spell again?” She questioned, blushing madly when the whistles started pouring out from well The Iron Bull of course.

Solas was quick to snap.  
Hardly the professional group.  
Vivienne was surely gaping.  
Cassandra utterly speechless.  
Fiona probably regretting wanting to join the Inquisition  
And she well, she was just trying to do her job.

Ellana threw the Amulet back to Alexius. “No funny business. Or you'll answer to The Bull.”

“They both will.” Iron Bull said, implying Felix would be apart of the equation. Even though Ellana knew he was joking. Alexius shivered and swallowed, nodding before telling Ellana to move forward so he may proceed. 

“ _ **Vhenan, wait.**_ ” Solas told her catching her loose left hand. “I'm going with you.” 

“No Solas - stay here.”

“No. I told you that I'm staying by your side, Ellana. If you go anywhere - then I'm naturally going too – We do this together. _I don't care what they say._ ”

Ellana was shocked at hearing his words but accepted them with fluttering heart.

She made way to kiss him one last time but that moment would not come to pass. 

For a shimmering golden light overtook them and then darkness followed.

Maker watch over them. 

XXX

When Ellana woke up, she thought death had finally caught up with her.  
It was hard to swallow.  
But – somehow she managed whilst looking up at such a warming face. 

_**Dorian.**_  
Alive and well.

With his left hand he helped her back to her feet. He greeted her with a dashing smile and that's all it took for her to lose it. She flung herself to him and wrapped him into a would-be bone-crushing hug except she was a petite little elf now and was placing kisses alongside his red-faced cheeks. 

He was real!  
Maker have mercy!

“Um why hello to you too!” Dorian said, finding it hard not to laugh. His gaze floated toward the person standing against the cell door. “Solas, um, _a little help_ – would be _greatly_ appreciated.”

Ellana had pulled away at the mention, her eyes drifting towards the would-be and sure enough, Solas met her gaze smiling.

“It seems you are quite capable of handling the situation on your own, _Tevinter._ ” Solas replied. 

_“Oh, well...”_ Dorian paused, turning to gaze at Ellana. Her Anchor caught his eyes immediately. “You must be Evelyn. I've heard much about you – Herald...In fact, I thought they said you were _**Human.**_ ”

“And I thought they said you were _**dead**_.” She replied and he laughed again much to her delight. 

“Yes, it seems to be a common wanted theme in this place at least. My name is Dorian by the way - you wouldn't happen to know just _**where**_ we are – would you?”

“Depends.” Ellana, “Are there Elves?”

“Maker yes - many in fact. I thought maybe Mahanon and I stumbled upon an Ancient Elven Temple. They separated us almost immediately and I've been sitting in this cell for about a week now. Has it been a week? I'm starting to lose count as well as the mind.”

“Barely a day I'm afraid.” Ellana told him and watched as Dorian sighed. 

“I was hoping that we could find Alexius and get him to send us back but I've come to realize we don't have such an option. At least I've finally learned during my time in this cell what Shemlen means. “

“Oh, I would love to hear your definition.” Solas said grinning and Dorian gave him a sour look.

“ _I bet damn well you would._ ” Dorian replied under his breath.

“What was that?” Dorian shook his head.

“ _Mortal – human._ ” His correct answer impressing even Solas. “Obviously what we're dealing with is the past. Before the Dread Wolf's interference. It's marvelous. Though I can't imagine why Alexius would send us so far back. Interesting.”

“It's probably not what Alexius intended.” Solas commented, not wishing to delve further. 

“Right, it must have moved us to what? The closet confluence of Arcane Energy?”

“The last thing I remember was being in the castle hall.” Ellana added, and Dorian nodded.

“It was the same for us too. Though I must say Solas – you've really dropped the ball here. How could you let the second Herald fall into the same trap? Now we're all stuck in this time loop forever.”

“Not necessarily.” Ellana said, now earning Dorian's attention. “This is the time of the golden age for Elves - correct? Maybe one of the Old Gods would be willing to spare us a good trip back?”

Dorian tilted head at such a notion, and nodded.

“Which one though – there's so many.”

“The only one who turned back on kin.”

“ _Oh Maker_ –“ Dorian breathed out at such a suggestion, turning away to rub forehead, “Surely you can't mean...”

His sentence would not be finished. A slam echoed down the prison doors and with it footsteps.  
They turned preparing to see guard – instead, a wolf greeted them instead.

“Ah, I thought I sensed something _familiar._ ” Fen'Harel said as he stepped out from the shadows, grinning. “It's been a long time – _**Pride.**_ ” 

Ellana felt her chest tighten, mouth growing dry upon seeing him once more. She ought to be crying but no tears would come instead what would replace that was a burning hatred. Ellana wanted nothing more than to knock the Wolf off his golden pedestal and onto his loathsome ass. Nothing like her Vhenan.

“ _ **Fen'Harel**_.” She drew out absentmindedly and when his eyes shot to hers angrily – for some reason she found herself to stepping back, shaken. Thankfully such harden gaze was relieved from her sight. 

Solas.

His right outstretched arm now blocked her view. His eyes narrow, fierce, staring at his would-be-self.

“It seems we have been misplaced by a temporal rift.” Solas began. “One of our friends has gone missing. Do you think you could return him to us – _**Dread Wolf**_?”

“ _Dread Wolf – Fen'Harel_?” Dorian echoed behind. “You mean the Dalish Elven God? The Betrayer? That Dread Wolf?” 

“The _very_ one.” Fen'Harel said bowing before picking up head to stare at Dorian. Grin spreading across his face. “It's been quite awhile, _Old friend_.”

Dorian tilted his head, and as he did, Fen'Harel had fade stepped through the gate and stood right in front of him. Dorian's eyes grew wide – especially when another slam erupted causing him to jump ever so slightly.

His eyes drawing left to see Evelyn standing before him protectively.  
Dorian blinked and rubbed his eyes. Than rubbed them one more time just to make sure he hadn't lost all his marbles.

Still - Human. A Human Evelyn to be exact and to Dorian's right – well the supposed Dread Wolf – now knocked into the wall. A strong right hook to left cheek - the attacker - surprisingly a petite female human mage. 

The Herald – she was seething.

“Stay away from him.” She bit out.

Fen'Harel messaged his swollen cheek.  
It surprised him.  
_Hell_ – it hurt.  
His eyes were wandering back onto such a fierce woman.  
She definitely had much more prowess in comparison to that other Herald. 

“ _ **Interesting**_.” He commended and he watched as her eyes widened, a flush forming on the face. Fen'Harel had to bite back the laugh. “You have gathered such _interesting_ companions.” He said, eyes darting to Pride – searching face – finding a painted portrait of past self. 

Concern and forbidden love.

_Ah._

So she was this other world's Ellana. 

Even their eyes were the same – the only problem though –  
_**A Shem.**_

Fen'Harel sighed.

_What a waste._

_**Not interested.**_

His eyes flicked away. “I will take you to your friend, _Pride_. But the two of you will stay here.” He said motioning to the two humans before him. “If they leave this room, I can't guarantee their safety. The world is different here. There is no veil. Just magic – as it should be.”

“At the cost of how many lives – I wonder.” The woman snapped back, and Fen'Harel glowered. Before he knew it – he was back in that Shemlin's face – staring her down. 

“Clearly not enough.” He spat back. To his surprise – the woman made attempt to slap him – but that would never come to place. Her right hand was caught and held back by his counterpart. Fen'Harel grinned watching the two lovers bicker. 

Entertainment at its highest quality.

If Ellana was here –

Fen'Harel paused, growing rigid. 

Ellana _**was**_ here.

He felt his eyes shut, and his mana flowing out to touch her own.  
Instead, he found someone else – meddling in places where they did not belong.  
Growing closer to what was indeed – _**His.**_

The wolf growled, shaking his head and pushing thought out of mind – surely the man would not be so bold as to enrage him.  
Perhaps Abelas was simply entertaining him with escort around.  
Yes – that must have been the reason.  
He would go to meet them in his throne room.

“Wait _**Solas**_!”

Fen'Harel paused. He did not expect to hear his old name being rolled off tongue.  
In fact it caused him to shudder and oddly enough he was now looking back to see romantic scene unravel before him.  
Two lovers hugging each other close.

Fen'Harel felt his arms cross.  
Jealousy welling inside him as he watched the two separate.  
A kiss on the very place where fist recently connected to bruised jaw.  
Fen'Harel hated that he was rubbing his cheek at the reminder.

It was a foolish concept.  
The sooner they left – the better. 

“Is something amiss?” Pride asked innocently as they made their way down the Great Hall and towards his throne room.

Fen'Harel scoffed. 

“How can something be amiss when I have everything that I could ever want?”

Pride hummed beside him and Fen'Harel stopped, feeling frustrated with himself.

“If you have something to say--”

“She's _**mine.**_ I don't know what happened to yours but keep your eyes off what's **_mine._** ” 

Fen'Harel faltered and then found himself laughing at Pride's threat.

Oh it had been such a long time since he last laughed!

It was a good feeling.

They moved forward again.

“You think I want to bed a Shem? No, you can keep your bad tastes to yourself Pride.”

“I assure you we have the same taste.”

Fen'Harel laughed.

“Not likely.”

“You'd be surprised.”

XXX

“Is it just me or do those two look extremely alike?” Dorian asked. 

“That's because Solas _**is**_ _Fen'Harel._ ” Ellana told him, and Dorian looked at her stupidly.

“I'm trying to be serious here. Do you think they're related?”

“No – you can't be related to yourself Dorian.”

“ _ **Right**_ – _I mean_ – _**wait**_ \- your actually serious - _**Solas is Fen'Harel?**_ ”

“I know –“ Ellana drawled, “It's shocking isn't it?”

“... _And here I thought he was just an apostate hobo._ ”

“ _An_ _**unwashed**_ _apostate hobo – more specifically._ ”

“Ah, _what?_ Aren't you two – _together?_ ”

“ _Yes_ – I was just recalling old memories is all.”

“I can't help but feel more and more confused with each passing second.”

“It's best not to ask questions, Dorian.”

“Right. Point taken.”

XXX

“So – are you _Human_ – or are you an _Elf?_ ”

Ellana gave Dorian a weary look.  
It had been hours.  
Or it felt like hours.

It wasn't her fault either.  
Solas had promised a quick return and sitting on her ass was never her strongest suit.

“At the moment – _I'm Human.”_

 _“At the moment?”_ She heard Dorian echo. “What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?”

Thankfully Ellana need not go into explaining more than that for once again the sound of the prison gate swung open.

They both jolted up – waiting to see the returning two wolves. 

Ellana's mouth slackened when she came face to face with Mahanon carrying a certain empty shell.

Or simply put – _**Her body.**_

Yep.

If they weren't fucked before.  
They were certainly fucked now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Dar'eth Shiral : Go safely on your journey  
> Tas dar'eth : Go safely as well.  
> Taarsidath-an halsaam : "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect."  
> Katara, Ataashi ! : Die, Dragon!  
> Fen’harel ver na : Dread Wolf, take you.


	26. Shattered Eluvian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels. - Natalie Standiford

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write. Posting it was a biatch too because for some reason when I pasted it - everything became BOLD and I swear to god it better not be BOLD when I post it.  
> This alone took me three days write - with me staring at the screen - mulling over what I should do - oh my god it's finally postable.  
> Brace yourselves.  
> But seriously This BETTER NOT BE BOLD. o/

“Evelyn – It's good to see you. “ Mahanon greeted a smile playing on his lips. “I didn't expect to see you _**here**_ of all places but its always nice to see such a familiar face again. You too Dorian.” 

“Ah good, I was beginning to think I was invisible.” Dorian commented, shrugging casually. “So did you find anything useful?” Mahanon grinned, shifting Ellana's body in his arms and pointed at the Trinket dangling around her neck.

“Just our ride home.”

“Ooh goodie – bring it here.” Mahanon pulled the locket off, and fitted it through the bars so that Dorian could see it. He lifted it up and inspected it. “Yes, this will certainly do –“ He paused, sparing a glance at the sleeping beauty in Mahanon's arms. Such a face, he could never forget. Turning towards Evelyn, looking for answers, he saw a frustrated face. 

Scowling and ever watchful, Ellana silently observed but kept her distance from the empty shell. Afraid of being pulled in and forced into a role she could not afford to become just yet. Even now – every part of her being was drawn to the unconscious form. Calling to her, promising an unrelenting source of magical energy that just waited to be unleashed. Such an offer almost too tempting to pass up but Ellana knew such great power came at a painstakingly high price. For Ellana's real body was missing one crucial element. 

The Anchor.

Looking back – Ellana realized the gift she had been given upon finding sanction in Evelyn's body. Her spirit drew upon immortal spring from Fen'Harel's completed goal. It allowed her to face difficult challenges and press further and farther into a world she previously would avoid thrusting herself into.  
To return in real body and to have the veil kiss flesh once more...There was no telling what could happen. She could undoubtedly lose her immortality as well as her leverage on keeping Solas at her side.

It was no good.

The gain, in the long run, was not worth the losses that followed. 

And how it pained her to realize it. 

How close she was – and yet how far – Ellana had to force herself to peel eyes away from such a pitiful form. A broken Inquisitor – awaiting to be rescued, to be freed from imprisonment as well as given the chance to awake from long slumber only to cross blades once more with unrequited love in unending defiance. 

“You could have just bought the locket,” Ellana responded coolly as she crossed arms over her chest. “I don't understand why you brought _**that**_ back with you, Mahanon. If anything you should have left it where you found it. But no – now you've gone and endangered us all. I can't believe they thought you'd be more suited for this mission. Clearly – they were wrong.”Mahanon raised a brow at the sudden sass.

“But—Isn't this _your_ body?” He asked her, and Ellana bit her lip. Eyes sharpening into a narrow gaze. 

“What of it?” Mahanon tilted his head in confusion, he figured she'd appreciate the cause.

“I thought you'd be happy was all...”

Ellana let out a bitter laugh.

“How could I _possibly_? Being home is certainly not a pleasurable experience.”

“ _ **Home?**_ ” Dorian echoed, “You're from the past too?”

Ellana stared at him oddly and then remembered that Solas and her had deluded him into thinking this was back in the golden days.

“She's not from the past - just from another world _**entirely**_.” Mahanon responded. 

“The ending is not a happy one –I do not wish to see your world endure the same fate.”

“Wait so your actually from the _**future**_?!”

“A _would-be_ future _**yes.**_ We must make sure this day never comes so if you'd be so kind and start channeling your spell Dorian – I would be most grateful.”

“A-ah, yes of course...” Dorian trailed off, sweat rolling down his face. “Worry not, I assure you that under this handsome mug lies a very talented and gifted mage. You can count on me.” 

“Do you really have to be so snippy Evelyn?” Mahanon asked as he set her body against cell as he attempted to pick lock door. It was hardly a challenge. “I get that your involved but could you pretend to look a little bit thankful. This is _your_ body were talking about and since we've met you've obviously had some sort of an identity crisis...Who you are and who you should be – with this I've given you a welcomed fit.”

“Such inconsideration. This is why we need more libraries, people don't learn as much as they used to I'm afraid. ” Dorian commented because unlike Mahanon he understood what Ellana implied when she claimed the world was in danger. If this was a would-be future then that would mean someone directly forced the Veil down. Meaning simply Disaster. Mayhem. Also explaining why there was nothing but Elves everywhere. “Remind me not to get under Solas's skin. Which reminds me why are tagging with him again?”

“What does Solas have to do with anything?” Mahanon asked and Dorian smiled.

“Apparently _**everything,**_ given his _background._ ” Mahanon shook his head, not following. “Not my place to say,” Dorian commented, throwing a glance to Evelyn. “Wait is that why you sent him away? We're going to leave him here is it? _**Ingenues!**_ _Killing two birds with one stone!”_ He was quick to earn a sharpened dark glare from the woman beside him. “Ah _**no,**_ so I'm wrong in my assessment – okay then. I'll leave it to you.”

“Who sent whom away?” Mahanon questioned still feeling lost.

“ _ **No one**_ is sending _anyone_ away. Solas went off with Fen'Harel to retrieve you but you clearly don't need retrieving. How did you _**even**_ managed to slip away Mahanon? The warriors here can detect the slightest movement.”

“Oh yes about that. I met this extremely well mannered Elven guard – _Abelas_ , was it? He was showing me around as per his master's request. _**Fen'Harel**_ , I presume – crazy to see the _Dread Wolf_ here of all places _**but**_....That's when I asked if he knew anything about – well, you know, – _Ellana_ –and thankfully he was quick to point me out. I was surprised at their generosity. They treated me to warm meals, baths, and a luxurious massage on top.”

“Hang on, you were doing what – while I was in this dirty cell? That's _hardly_ considerate... _ **Considering.**_ ”

“You wouldn't have enjoyed it Dorian...No women – just a bunch of sweaty, armored, bulky Elven male warriors rubbing your feet.”

“My _**footsies**_ are _freezing_ thank you.” Mahanon rolled his eyes.

“But honestly Evelyn, I don't see why you'd want to leave this place. When it came to you everyone I've met has been really caring and helpful.”

“That's because they _**hated**_ me... _ **His**_ people thought I was a _distraction._ Which technically is true considering that Fen'Harel wouldn't work whenever I was around. He'd instead spent his day to day activities following me around and humiliating me whenever opportunity arose.” 

“ _Humiliating?”_ Mahanon wondered, glancing at such an impassive form. “To me, you look prissy and pampered. Almost like a princess in such an exotic dress like that one and quite frankly I don't see a mistreated woman. Just a _**misguided**_ one is all.”

Ellana took a step forward and went to punch him with a strong right hook but Mahanon easily caught her blow. The two gritting teeth as they exchanged harsh curses at one another. It was Mahanon who sent her flying back and down to the floor on her ass by the end of it. He outmatched her physically in all regards and she could have little say in the matter otherwise. “I'm only stating the truth is all.” 

“That's hardly the truth!” Ellana cried out as she leaned forward slamming hands to the ground and thrust her mana out of her body. She was sure that Solas and Fen'Harel would have been alerted from it but at the moment Ellana was too blinded by her fury to care. An Ice Wall shot out from her and threatened to pierce Mahanon but Dorian quickly activated his Haste ability and countered her Ice with his own Wall of Fire. 

It quickly dissolved and canceled out sudden outburst. Mahanon faltered, sweat rolling down his head from heated flames. He then gave small thanks to Dorian as Dorian allowed his own spell to break up and fade away from sight. “You just don't understand. That body, no that version of me is simply a representation of insanity chained to its will. A shattered soldier if you dominated by past warfare.” 

“ _ **Dominated,**_ _really,_ _**you?**_ ” Mahanon questioned once he had his wit back to him. “Considering how _**powerful**_ you are – I don't think your being entirely _honest_ here Evelyn.” 

“Mahanon that's enough.” Dorian snipped, “you're crossing a thin line as it is and I'm trying to actually take my job seriously. Honestly, do you all want to leave or not because I certainly can't focus on the two of you bickering like children?” 

Mahanon sighed and helped Ellana up while apologizing to the both of them. 

“Sorry, Evelyn...I-It just doesn't make sense to me. Right now I only see one side of the story. I would appreciate the fill in now if you would.” 

“Of course. You see the truth is that Solas is actually Fen'Harel.” Ellana told him and waited for the reaction. Mahanon's face went blank and Dorian was snickering beside her. 

“It gets funnier the second time I hear it. Especially with that look on Mahanon's face. That's pretty much the topping on the cake.” Dorian pointed out and beside him Ellana groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. Mahanon cracked his neck, and then his eyes darted off somewhere in deep thought before finally, they returned back to Ellana – now squinting. 

“I'm sorry - could you possibly repeat that little tidbit?” 

“You heard me,” Ellana stated firmly and Mahanon blinked. 

_“Solas?”_

_**“Yes.”**_

_“Apostate Hobo?”_ Ellana nodded twice over and Mahanon's eyes widened a fraction. “ _Really him?_ I have to admit, the resemblance was striking when I compared the two initially. It's just I kept telling myself it must have been an acquittance of some sort.” 

"Or an ancestor.” Dorian pipped in, and Mahanon snapped his right hand and pointed at Dorian. 

“Yes exactly!” He shouted, and then touched his own chin laughing. “Funny how things turn out.” 

“I can't believe you two,” Ellana said shrugging as she watched the two males share a bonding moment. 

“Oh come now Evelyn – his reaction practically matches my own. You can't expect us not to react. This is Solas were talking about.” 

“ _Mr. Droopy ears_.” Mahanon snickered and Dorian replied that he had never heard that one before and Mahanon mentioned a very silly Elven archer back at Haven who had plenty of words to describe the apostate in question. Dorian couldn't wait to meet such an honored guest and Ellana sighed between their excited chattered. 

This was going nowhere. 

“ _Mahanon_ , _Dorian_ _**please**_ focus. Now's not the time for banter.” 

“But we're talking about Solas!” Mahanon argued. “Stop being a stick in the mud Evelyn...You too must have reacted along the same lines – the _disbelief_ and the – _the_ – _**oh Maker...**_ No wonder he's such a cunt when it comes to talking about our people!” Mahanon suddenly cried out and that little quip finally caused Ellana to tremble lip. “It makes so much sense now! _**Ugh!**_ How could you possibly date _that_?” 

“Do you mean Fen'Harel or Solas?” She wondered, now reduced to a bundle of giggles. 

“Aren't they one in the same?” Dorian asked and Ellana shook her head. 

“No completely different.” Ellana managed as she settled herself down. “Fen'Harel caused _Veil to be torn from sky_." 

"– Veil torn from sky?” Mahanon repeated in disbelief. In his mind things were starting to wheel into a full circle. His laughter quickly fading into anger. “How could you possibly _allow_ Solas to – _**please**_ don't tell me it was because you _loved_ him?” 

Ellana tore gaze away, ashamed. “ _ **Really**_ , You let _love_ blind you? Seems to me like this world is the way it is because of the choices you've made.” Ellana felt fists ball up but let her then allowed herself to relax. 

He wasn't incorrect after all.

“Try to put yourself in my shoes. What if Cassandra were in Solas's place?” Mahanon's expression darkened.

“First of all – don't you _dare_ compare Cass' to Solas. Cassandra would never put herself in that position. Plus she's not a power-hungry crazed fucking mage that wants to bring the destruction of the world for one measly percentile of the world – Evelyn.” 

“Well, what if she was a mage then?” Ellana tried.

“Then I'd put her down,” Mahanon replied curtly.

Dorian and Ellana both felt speechless at his icy response. “It's not complicated. It's a principle matter of morality Evelyn. You don't let the masses die over one person. I _**love**_ Cassandra _**yes,**_ _yes I do..._ But if she was a mage and was showing signs of turning path away from us – from _me_ than yes – duty over love. I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was no longer a threat. Whether it be binding her or ending her. I will do what I must to protect those around me.” 

Ellana rubbed her arm, feeling deflated.

“I guess I'm not as emotionally stable as much as you are then Mahanon.” He shrugged, and she looked to Dorian for some support. “You see to _me_ – _**Solas**_ was _everything._ I couldn't imagine a world without him beside me and since becoming a part of your world I've been blessed. I've managed to find a Solas that holds regret for deeds he has not played a hand in. I'm sorry for being so weak.” 

“ _Nonsense._ ” Dorian commented as he lowered locket and offered Evelyn a hug with open arms – Ellana was happy to oblige, she missed him so very, very much. “It's hard to play by the rules when our beloved ones are center stage. I should know. My father and I – our _relationship_ have always been in such a shattered mess. If you can't find comfort in the others, you can always come to me.” 

“ _ **Dorian,**_ _you have no idea how much it means to me to have you say that and for that alone – thank you from the bottom of my heart._ ” 

“The pleasure is mine, really. I have learned that Tevinter needs a good shaping up once I get back home.” 

“That or you could always stay with the Inquisition.” She offered, and Dorian grinned. 

“And here I thought you'd never ask! Well, I'd quite frankly love to.” 

“Welcome aboard.” 

They shared one final laugh before breaking away. Attention now turning to see Mahanon lifting up Ellana's real form back into arms. 

“So what shall I do with _**this**_ then?” 

“ _For starters you could give_ _**my heart**_ _back to me before I_ _**severe yours**_ _for daring to cross me._ ” A voice snapped and they whirled to see a furious wolf glaring back at him. Behind him Solas was glancing over the wolf's shoulder, eyes checking over hers to make sure she was alright. Ellana nodded in reassurance before moving forward, brushing past Mahanon, light touch to the right shoulder as she passed, and met scowling wolf half-way between the two. 

“Calm yourself, Dread Wolf.” Ellana pleaded while placing her hands out to block Fen'Harel's path. “Mahanon didn't mean any harm. He simply brought this woman to Dorian because he thought she was injured. Dorian, although he might not look it to you – You'll have to trust me when I say he is quite proficient at what he does.” 

" _ **Move.**_ ” Fen'Harel replied darkly making it clear he wasn't in the mood for idle chit-chat. Ellana to swallowed heavily from the pressure radiating from his body. 

This was after all the first time she has come face to face with such murderous beast without him recognizing her. 

Normally Fen'Harel was far more in control of his emotions but that was then and this was the now. 

She should have known. 

Just as Solas was her everything. 

Ellana was Fen'Harel's true desire – 

_**His**_ _Toy._

_**His**_ _Inquisitor._

_**His Vhenan.**_

Ellana could practically see the wolf's lurking silhouette of six-eyed beast threatening to spill out and wipe out all those who opposite it. 

“ _Make me,_ ” She dared now summoning blade to hand. “ _ **If**_ you can at least.” 

“ _Knight Enchanter._ ” He quipped, grinning, “ _ **Humorous,**_ _at best_.” 

Ellana watched his head roll back, glancing over his shoulder to where Solas stood. “ _Pride_ ,” He called lazily, “Do be a dear and remove your pet--” 

Fen'Harel found voice cut short when Ellana decided enough was enough. Using right hand, she proceeded to grab Fen'Harel's collar and jerk his attention back to her. He raised a brow, but before he could utter a word, she was up on her tip-toes, capturing lips against her own. 

Ellana was immediate to break away from the shocked wolf. She released the hold, pushing him away from her, and allowed right-hand fall to hip, playful grin now forming on her ever beaming face. 

“Don't you mean – _ **your**_ _pet_ , _**Vhenan?**_ ” She asked tauntingly. 

Fen'Harel took a double take and then much to her disapproval and displeasure – Fen'Harel began to laugh at her. Ellana soured instantly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and very self-conscious – she had expected something more but certainly not _this._

She was no jester – just cursed, and for all, she knew it was his fault! 

Ellana blinked up in surprise to see that the Wolf closed in on her during her mental anxiety. She felt her mouth part in disbelief when his left hand grabbed hold of her Spirit Blade and canceled out her magic instantaneously. 

“What the--?” She asked, confused at such a feat. Her left arm growing numb, and Ellana began to fear that he might have turned it to stone. Looking down – it was fine - but still, the notion startled her to so much that she allowed a guard to fall a second time. Ellana let out a strangled gasp when his right hand gripped at her throat – cutting precious air from lungs. 

She clawed at his right hand. It seemed to be much stronger than what she remembered it to be. Maybe because before he wasn't using so much of his true power before? No, that couldn't have been it. She was sure that he must have done something to her. It didn't make sense. Especially at her best – Ellana was always a step ahead of him. 

In truth, it was her love for him that sent her a stumbling step back. 

_So why?_

Why was she so damn weak all the sudden? 

“ _Stupid girl, did you really think you could mess with my emotions?_ _**Him**_ _and_ _**I**_ _are not one in the same. I assure you – I do not have such delusional taste as your pride does. To me you will_ _**never**_ _be_ _**ma Vhenan**_ – _especially not some filthy fucking_ _**Shemlin**_ _like yourself.”_

Ellana's eyes widened ten fold at his words. It didn't make sense to her at all especially not from him of all people. “ _I will personally_ _**rip**_ _your throat from neck for impeding me from what is_ _**mine. No one**_ _will be able to grieve your body once_ _**I'm**_ _through with it. ”_ His grip tightened, leaving her sputtering for air, vision blurring and fading out with each imperiling second. It didn't take very long for a large blast of Flash-Fire magic to hit the wolf from behind. He scowled knowing just whom the blast came from. _**“Pride.**_ _Must_ you really intervene?” 

Solas stood firm, magic crackling free – his own wolf threatening to bare fangs upon seeing Ellana's life put in danger by _his_ hands of all people. 

“ _...Solas...”_ Ellana managed weakly. “ _...Please don't...He's too powerful like this...Leave me...I'll be okay..._ ” She begged as her gaze continued to drop in and out of consciousness. 

“ _ **Dread Wolf!**_ ” She heard Mahanon yell. Fen'Harel entertained call but paused at sight. Mahanon stood, over a now dropped Ellana with blade in hand pointed at unconscious heart. “ _Release her now or say goodbye to_ _**your precious heart.**_ ” 

Fen'Harel snarled at such notions but thankfully with a heavy heart– the wolf dropping Ellana from hold. Ellana immediately fought for breath only to have her head pulled back. Fen'Harel's right hand now gripping a fistful of reddened curls as he forced her to look back at his fierce crimson orbs. With left hand raised – he grinned down at her shocked expression. 

_**“Dirthara-ma.**_ ” He told her not even in the least bit hesitant to slap her firmly across the face. He then proceeded to toss her aside like a rag-doll as well as following up by blasting her behind with an Immolation spell. 

_**“Ellana!”**_ Solas cried out as he slides across the room in a Fade-Step fashion to help prop her up a weakened heart. His magic already working to soothe flame-kissed wounds. 

The Dread Wolf twitched at call but his senses were drawn away by the scent of blood. _**Her**_ blood. Immediately he whipped back to see Mahanon drawing blood from Ellana's precious throat. Fen'Harel's mouth twisted into a deepening scowl, a growl escaping his mouth as he began to shape-shift into his wolf-like form. Eyes shifting from two to six in mere seconds. 

Mahanon felt throat parch at the sight. 

“ _ **Dorian...!**_ ” He called, and the mage behind him was already channeling his mana into the trinket. 

“ _ **I'm already working on it!**_ ” Dorian insisted with a snap. He had begun to re-channel upon seeing Evelyn get man-handled. “This is all very demanding considering – just try to keep quiet – _I need to concentrate!_ ” 

“I don't think I can keep quiet Dorian!” Mahanon yelled back as the wolf let out a knee-buckling howl. The two quivering at such a display. “I don't even know what the hell I'm doing at this point. Solas – some help would be appreciated!” He called as a pool of sweat rolled down his face. 

Back at the other two – Solas continued to focus on heal wounds. She was already banged up as it was but he needed her immortality to kick in. Right now as she was in his hands – Ellana was hanging on by a bare thread. Fen'Harel really gave no mercy in that last attack. It was intended to kill. 

“ _Ellana,_ ” Solas called to her in the bare whisper as his mana spreads around her, coaxing her to rouse. Gratefully he was able to relax when he heard Ellana groan. Her eyes beginning to flicker open and groggily she searches for his face. _**“Vhenan.”**_ He breathes out in relief, guiding her left hand to his left cheek with a somber gaze. She offers a weak smile and he turns to kiss now warmed finger-tips. She finds herself to laugh at his affectionate display. She hisses in pain from such actions and Solas turns too quickly scold her. _“Don't push you, you need to rest. ”_

“I'm actually quite alright – _thanks you._ ” She insisted. She could already feel bones snapping back into place. There was the pain – an immeasurable amount – but her body could go on – she could still fight. Still, play a role. “I'm, I'm just dumbfounded is all. _He hit me._ Fen'Harel actually _hit_ me Solas... _ **He's,”**_ she pauses as a lone tear rolls down her face, “He's never actually hit me before...” Her mouth twitched into a frown. “I don't know why I thought it would make an impact...Love really has blinded me. For a moment I thought he may have felt the same way about me as I once did for him.” 

“He does though. He cares a great deal for you.” Solas told her whilst cursing himself under his breath for doing something so stupid but he could understand the reasoning behind it. 

“I don't understand then.” 

“Ellana– you-you didn't change back.” Her orbs rose were on him in an instant, holding a very bewildered look to them. 

Solas sighed dejectedly. “Your still human Ellana, your still – _Evelyn._ ” 

Ellana gawked at such a claim and dropped hand instantly from Solas's cheek. She then raised both hands before eyes to get a good look at them and sure enough hands still as rough as ever. 

“But I –“ She tightfisted both hands, “ I _**kissed**_ him. I'm not sure what could have happened. It should have--” 

“The answer is a simple one really.” Ellana found herself snapping up at that voice – Wolf now taking over where Solas once stood. “ _Pride is dead._ ” Every bone in her body stilled. Her blood freezing and heart pulling to a stop. 

“ _W-what did you just say?_ ” The Wolf debated for a moment as he studied her face. There was a slight flicker of anxiety flashing in his eyes before finally he settled and repeated himself. 

“ _ **Pride is dead.**_ I do not sense him anywhere in that body – Ellana. It is possible that in your absence that Pride may have consummated and surrendered his body to Fen'Harel completely.” The wolf told her whilst looking at the growling beast with a sharpened narrow gaze. He then turned to Ellana and his gaze significantly softened. “I'm sorry for your loss.” 

“ _ **N-no**_ there's no way that can be right.” Ellana whispered as tears began to well and fall bitterly. “ _T-there's just no way...Solas just_ _**can't**_ _be – he simply can't be_ _**dead.**_ ” 

“Your connection to Pride is obviously what started this curse. _Shall we,_ _shall we test it,_ _**Vhenan?**_ “He asked her, brushing right index finger against bruised lip. 

“ _Test away._ ” Ellana replied suddenly distant. The wolf falters at her inability to scold him for taunting her. It's alarming and strangely does not put up with him very well. 

“ _Are you sure?_ ” He questions sounding sincere – she finds that her gaze meets his crimson ones with astonishment. “I don't want to force you into this.” 

She finds herself loss for words for a moment but then finally shakes head and smiles forms on lips once more. “Silly Fen'Harel – I thought you were supposed to be the bad guy here.” 

“ _What_?” He questions and then realized she called him by his name. He now finds himself strangely sheepish. “ _ **I–**_ ” He is cut off when Ellana uses left hand and yanks him down towards her. His lips crashing down – a little sloppily – but never the less down to her own. She releases him only to have wolf hungrily staring down at her. Now she is the one who is being pulled back into a kiss. Tongue slipping way into parted lips. His dominant desires now unleashed as ravaging lips punished her with an intensity so great that Ellana was left utterly breathless. 

As they parted she found her heart racing all the more when Solas was now smiling back at her with flushed cheeks. He was currently brushing loose white strand behind the long pointed ear. 

“There's _ma Vhenan._ ” 

Ellana flushes, feeling a sense of renewal as Solas helps her to her feet. The two now hand and hand – Ellana's right to his left – allowing their mana to sync and combine with each other. 

Two hearts beating as one. 

Their magical presence alone causing Fen'Harel to revert back into self with their overwhelming pressure. He gaped upon seeing Ellana's true beautiful face staring angrily down at him with bruised and bloodied lip. 

_**“E-Ellana?”**_ He questioned taking a step back in utter horror. Solas beside her smirked triumphantly. 

“See our tastes really are not that different.” Solas smugly commented referring to previous chatter. 

Fen'Harel sputtered. His eyes darting from unconscious form to a newly revitalized one. “How is this even remotely possible? Wait don't tell me it's been you all this time..." 

“ _Easy,_ ” Solas whispered to Ellana when he felt her right hand squeeze his left tightly. “ _Focus and breathe and allow your mana to meld within my own._ ” He commanded. Ellana nodded, allowing eyes to close and surrendering power to Solas's will. He moved, still not releasing her right, but moved so that he could allow his right hand to grasp at her left hand. 

His objective is the Anchor. He let his mana wash over it, snapping lock away that his other self so crudely placed and guided that hand towards stunned counterpart. It was a risky plan but – Ellana's magic could perhaps manage it. With his own eyes sliding shut Solas concentrated on the desired destination. _“Open!”_

Ellana's echoed the command and as she did there was a large hissing crackle of energy. She dared to allow eyes sight and was able to witness a now newly formed opened rift where the wolf stood in shock. This rift – she had only seen it once before – it would lead to the physical world of the fade. 

The rift shifted to the crossroads then into a lone shrine where a huge Eluvian pulsed and hissed behind the Wolf. 

Her skin practically crawled in repulsion when illuminated arms appeared from the mirror and grasped at Fen'Harel, pulling him in despite his struggled protests and constant pleading for forgiveness along the way. He was eventually swallowed behind Eluvian – it shattering upon wolf's disappearance. 

The sound itself caused Ellana to jump away and break held concentration – rift closing firmly tight leaving breathless heroes in its wake. 

For a moment nothing was said. 

Ellana simply staring at empty space expecting Wolf to reappear and attack but nothing of the sort happened. It was all very anti-climatic and because of it, Ellana found herself turning to Solas for a much-needed explanation. 

“What was _that?_ Where did you send him?” 

“Do not worry. The storm has passed. We are safe to move about now.” 

His cryptic answer did not help. 

“ _ **Solas.**_ ” She pressed and appreciatively Solas shared his secrets. 

“ _ **Apologies, Ellana.**_ I honestly did not know if it would even work out the way I imagined it would. Though given your history - I had to _try._ ” 

“Go on.” She ushered and Solas gave a hint of nodding approval. He really did love to explain himself and his actions. 

“The Anchor's primary power is open a rift in the physical world of the fade – I'm sure you're aware of that?” She nodded, Mahanon, on the other hand, was freaking out and Dorian looked to be hit by a massive bombshell. “Well let's just say I connected that into my dreams. Into a place where well, _**Fen'Harel is with family now.**_ He shall not bother us again.” Ellana swallowed at such an implication, blood running cold. 

So it would seem that Solas had used her anchor to assist in banishing the wolf to the same imprisonment as the other so-called Old Gods. “We've best be heading off now before we have a war on our hands. Dorian – if you will.” 

Dorian swallowed, nodding. 

“ _Right_ – maybe I can finally get this done without all the distractions.” 

“ _ **Wait**_ – we can't leave now!” Ellana cried out, and all three men looked in her direction with a questioning gaze. Her eyes were on her unconscious form, hands waving about – unsure of how to go about this. “We can't just leave with my body – it _has_ to remain here.” 

“Ellana we must bring it back with us.” Solas told her, “Once Abelas and the others discover my absence - they'll surely retaliate against form. It was the wolf who kept you from harm's way – _remember that._ ” 

“I know that!” Ellana insisted. “ _I just –_ “ 

“ _Heart heavy, lips quivering._ She doesn't want him to know the truth. _She's afraid without Immortality that she won't be able to stay at wolf's side. It is after all - all she's ever truly wanted._

Ellana froze in the voice. 

Body whirling to see the familiar voiced newcomer. 

“ _ **Cole...**_ ” 

“I've missed you.” 

Solas was at her side at once, and she had to reassure him that everything was alright. That Cole was her friend. One of their dearest ones. 

“Explain.”

“He is a spirit of compassion. He only wishes to help.” 

“ _Compassion_?” Solas echoed and stared at the boy with a squinted look. “Or do you mean _**Love**_?”

XXX 

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> ma Vhenan: my heart  
> Dirthara-ma: May you learn


	27. Not an Update / Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick Chart to Help Confused folks since I'm not that great of a writer. o/

Sorry everyone - this is not an update - I merely made this chapter as a way to help some folks that may be confused. o/ 

Current Setting:  
Ellanas World.  
Meeting up with Future Cole.

Future Folks/ Ellanas World:

Inquisitor: Ellana → Spirit residing in Evelyn's Body → Ellana is a spirit of Patience / Evelyn is Wrath. Her mark is on her left hand.  
Cole: Formally Spirit of Compassion → Spirit of Love/Passion. (Re-Introduced the Last Chapter – )  
Fen'Harel: Banished in Eluvian. By Current Solas / Ellana Combined Powers. (Pride/Solas is Dead. ) Fen'Harel is Main Host.  
Dorian: Deceased / Killed by Ellana  
Iron Bull: Statue / Deceased

Ellana's Real Body also resides in the Future. Pretty much a Shell / Deadweight atm. (By it residing in the future - Ellana is able to be Immortal.) A/N If the Elves lost their immortality when Solas put up the Veil it's possible that (in my mind) if Ellana Real Body (aka the shell) returns to the past she'll be stripped of her Immortality hence why it is a no-no.

Vivinne: Deceased / Killed by Ellana  
Sera & Blackwall: Deceased / Killed in Land/Mudslide.  
Rest deceased due to Veil falling.

Current Time-line:

Solas: Host to “Fen'Harel (spirit)” (own timeline version.): Solas is Pride. Fen'Harel is Prejudice. (Currently in Party.)  
Note: Think of my version of Solas like Anders in DA2. 2 Personalities 1 body. (This applies to Ellana as well.)  
Dorian: Alive (Currently in Party.)  
Inquisitor: Mahanon: (Currently in Party.) His Mark is on his Right hand.  
Iron Bull & Vivienne & Cassandra : Redcliffe - Not in the future / Not in PT.  
Varric & Sera: Haven / Not in PT.  
Cole: Spirit of Compassion –>: Not in Party. Will not appear until return to Haven.

 

Hopefully That sorts out some questions!

 

Sorry I am not the best writer in the world! But I'll try to make it less confusing in the future. Time Traveling is always tricky business! Sorry again!


	28. Eye of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you are in the eye of the storm, you are often not aware of the whiplash around you. -Hugh Bonnerville.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All errors that I could find have been fixed. Sorry if there's any left unattended to.

_“Love?_ ” Ellana echoed unfamiliarity as she stared at Cole across from her. He met her gaze with an unmistakable amount of brewing passion and Ellana swallowed at the implication. How could she not have seen it before? 

“Ellana we need to _go_.” 

A hand on her shoulder. She found herself glancing back to see Solas with a burned look of jealousy. She continued to shake her head. There was really no need. All she could ever think about was – _oh of course._ _**That's**_ _why..._

“Solas is right. You do need to _**go**_.” Cole responded. “But do not worry, I will keep _**you**_ safe. I will always keep _**you**_ safe.” Ellana shivered at his tone, but nodded. 

“Thank you, Cole, you've always been fighting alone this whole time.”

“I was never alone.” He corrected her as his eyes flickered over to an empty shell. His words implied something more. She almost saw the Wolf himself standing in Cole's place. Something deep inside her she knew that even if the Wolf had banished Cole from entering that he must have been relatively close. Through snow or rain, he endured watching, waiting. To be returned to her side. 

Ellana pulled Solas's hand from her shoulder but gave him a reassuring smile to ease his scowling displeasure. With soft padding feet, she approached Cole as she was and pulled him to her into a hug. He let out a gasp, and Ellana buried herself into his neck. 

“Thank you, Cole, you are a true friend. I am much too undeserving of your love. One day I hope to return the kindness.” Before he could respond she placed a kiss on his cheek and pulled away. She had tears in her eyes but managed to smile at him all the more.

He returned the smile and laughed as the magic pulled away from her revealing the human reflection she now hid behind.

“I would _**love**_ that... _ **Evelyn**_ .” 

His words made her eyes widen in confusion but the answers would never come to pass. For before she could even utter a response – her world went black. Only the sound of Solas calling out to her – rang in her mind – and in truth, it frightened her all the more.

 _ **“You...”**_ Solas growled out as he watched so-called friend pull a now unconscious Ellana into his arms. “What are you planning to do with her? Hasn't she suffered enough?”

“What would you know about her suffering?” Cole sneered, causing the wolf to reel back as if he had been burned. “It was you who have caused this!”

“Look, I don't know the full backstory here.” Mahanon butted in. “But Solas has done nothing but protect Ellana time and time again. From what I have seen so far. Our Solas is 100% not your Solas!”

“I concur,” Dorian said, as he stood at Mahanon side. Mahanon raised his brow at Dorian and the male gave him a shrugging look. “Yes, he is a good person even though his styling skills are atrocious.” 

“Not to mention a huge douche.” Mahanon slipped and Dorian also nodded in agreement.

“Remember what Solas said to me on the way here?” 

“About you needing to make your spells less flashy Dorian?”

“Yes exactly! Really – I don't need another father. Mines hell enough. Honestly - you think one should be able to live out the way they wanted but _**no**_ \- not Solas. _**Too flashy -**_ could be conserving magical energy!”

“ _ **Not helping**_ .” Solas grumbled, feeling a drop of sweat roll down his head. The two males behind him, laughed awkwardly. “Cole _**please,**_ don't let _**love**_ blind you. I will keep her safe.”

“I know you will,” Cole responded, confusing the wolf. “I also know that Ellana is not the person who will leave because you asked her to.”

“Ah,” Solas responded realizing Cole only knocked Ellana out to help them leave quicker. Cole handed Ellana over to him and smiled.

“Take care of her. She can be quite the handful.”

“I will,” Solas responded. “You do the same,” Solas said motioning over to where the real body of Ellana rested. It was a nothing more than an empty husk but still even now just glancing at it – Solas felt his whole world pull.

It was funny really.

One might say this Inquisitor was broken in some places but in reality, Solas knew they were wrong. This woman was still as beautiful as ever and it ached him that they were leaving her behind but he must value Ellana's request. 

Especially after Cole's initial words had struck a tire cord. 

Apparently, all Ellana ever wanted was to be with him and for him to disregard her. Bring the body back with them – and strip her of her immortality without her consent was just wrong. He would have to force himself to leave it behind. 

For her.

Even though he knew what she was doing was really for his sake alone. 

“How could I not?” He brushed a redden bang away from her face. “She's so beautiful.”

Solas did a double take on the way Cole stroked Ellana's face so tenderly. It was then that something inside of him snapped and made a sudden unorthodox connection.

“You love her.”

 _ **“Yes.”**_ Cole confirming half of his suspicions.

“Not _Ellana._ ” Solas pressed, making sure his wits were in the right place. “ _ **Evelyn.**_ ”

 _ **“Yes.”**_

“ _How?_ How is that possible? You know her in this world?”

“ _No._ But when Ellana came back, _**she**_ called out to me and me was filled with these memories of how I initially called out to her too...At first, it scared me. I have never laid eyes on her before but her touch alone made me feel things. Want things. Bright, beautiful, and yet unmistakably dangerous. The fire inside her burned mine alive. I knew what I had to do again. I have a purpose once more and I'm happy! Really! I'm really truly happy again Solas! Just like you are! So please take care of her. For me. They are both so precious.”

“I will Cole.” 

Solas watched Cole step away, and walk over to the other form of Ellana. He pulled that one into his arms, and with a blink of the eye, they were gone leaving an unwanted root of concern in Solas's heart.

Evelyn. 

She was going to prove to be more trouble than he initially thought. Solas let out a groan as he imagined the thought of attempting to woo someone other that Ellana. 

A human who apparently hated him. 

A human who was already latching herself to a spirit whom they would come in contact with soon. 

One they would be recruiting. 

One Ellana had ties to with as well. 

This would not bold well.

Once Ellana was up, he would tell her everything. 

Perhaps only then it would make things easier for him. 

XXX

“ _ **Ellana!**_ ” A voice cried out to her, and Ellana found herself gasping awake to the sound of thunderous booms. Above her, Mahanon was trying to shake her from her slumber. His eyes wild, full of fear, and also a form of familiarity she had come to know. “Oh thank the Maker your awake! You have to get up! _Haven's under attack!_ ”

The words at first didn't register, but never the less Ellana pushed Mahanon away from her, got up to her feet, grabbed her staff, and headed straight for the door. When she opened the door - her vision took in a hellish sight. The mountains covered with red templars and flames danced around them. 

War was upon them. 

Corypheus was here. 

Ellana's vision blurred, she thought she was going to faint but the roar of a dragon kept her jerking up into an alarmed state of mind. She felt the winds rush past her as the red lyrium dragon flew overhead. It stopped where one of the catapults were and brought down fire upon all those around it. Their screams silenced through blazing heat.“Come on, we have to go!” Mahanon told her as he grasped her left hand and began to pull her away from the building. “The others are waiting for us at the Chantry! There's a hidden path that we can escape from thanks to Chancellor Roderick. It's brilliant really!”

“But-but there's still more people need our help.” Ellana sputtered, she could hear the cries again. The cries of the ones she had put behind her the first time around. The ones that haunted her in the middle of sleepless nights. How she could not deal with that again.

“There will be much more if you and I die here today!” Mahanon yelled at her and Ellana felt her eyes widen at his words. Memories rushing to her brain, the image of Solas scolding her. The child who was cut down before her and all that blood. 

“Than you go and run!” Ellana screamed out as she untangled his hands from her. “But I am not turning my back on these people once again. I failed them once. I'll be damned to do it twice!”

Mahanon brushed his white locks back and sighed.

“I told Solas he should have come and convinced you but lately, he's been turning tail upon the idea of talking to you again after the whole future ordeal. Can't he see that I'd rather be snuggling with Cassandra?”

Ellana raised a brow at his words, and Mahanon waved it off. “Never mind, rescues are in order. Split up and meet back at the Chantry. We'll cover more ground that way. But we don't have much time. I don't know how long that landslide will keep them at arm's length.”

“Okay – move quickly. Got it! You take the tavern. I'll check with the stables.” Ellana managed, she could not imagine herself being stable when coming face to face with the child again. Mahanon was much more capable.

He nodded and they both went off in different directions. Ellana pulling staff from the back and using right hand to create walls of ice to block out any approaching red templars. It was a momentary diversion at best as she approached the stable door. Inside she found a woman struggling to get the leg out from under fallen wooden podium. At first, it was hard to see just who the woman was with all the ash and dust about but as she got closer the woman became more recognizable.

“Herald you've come! Thank the Maker!” The woman called out, “I'm so glad to see you! _My foot_ – it's stuck – but if you were to use some of your magic – I'm sure I'll be able to get out, but we must move quickly! Uh... _Herald_?”

Ellana faltered. Her heart beating in her chest louder than ever before as she continued to stare wildly at the woman before her. 

This woman was none other than Minaeve. 

The woman Solas confessed was working for him. 

The wheels in her head began to turn. 

The very Minaeve who delivered the false missive to her that Bull was dead. 

The reason why Dorian's blood was on hers as well!

This woman! 

All of this was because of her! “Herald, the building is about to give way – _**please**_ focus!” 

Ellana's lips lined and a sudden coldness spread through her body – darkness ebbing into her soul as she found herself smiling down at the woman.

“This is for Bull.” She told Minaeve before turning her back on the woman and leaving her to mull over her fate in the confusion that was soon to befall on her. 

_'Where are you going Ellana? The Chantry is that way?'_ Evelyn asked as she felt Ellana go off course - her mind buzzing.

“Mahanon will take care of the villagers. I however still have a role to play. After all leaving through the caverns will only save them momentarily. At best we need to make sure Corypheus thinks they are permanently dead.”

 _'What in blazes are you talking about?'_

Ellana hushed the woman. 

Such stupid questions. 

She didn't need them. 

After all, it was her job to set off the second trebuchet. 

With newfound fury, Ellana confronted her enemies alone. She had people to fight for and to protect. A god would not scare her away. With a flick of a wrist, she cut down oncoming red templars. Created walls of ice and summoned rifts to pull them away all the more. Anything to keep the wheel of the trebuchet turning. She must make sure of their escape. 

She must do this – if nothing else. 

If anything as the battle pressed on it was a straining display of magic but a wondrous one too. Ellana ignored the wounds she received from unnecessary exposure. How foolish of her to have forgotten in the midst of the battle that she was alone. That Cassandra was not there to cover her from behind.

In fact, it was truly hard for Ellana not to feel this way. Something inside her severed upon leaving Minaeve behind. 

Her mind began to deteriorate and Ellana began to experience a greater demon than the ones she fought in all of her life. 

Herself. 

For Ellana could no longer tell what was real and what was not. She was experiencing an episode perhaps as there were lapsing blurs and re-imagined images dancing before her eyes. 

“I am alone.” She chanted to herself despite seeing the opposite. Images of what would be her allies, ghosts – fighting off the red templars. It had confused her to no end. 

What was real and what was not? 

It was so hard to tell. 

Especially since one was so close to her. 

Sera.

The laughter, the taunts. 

Had she really run here by herself? 

Maybe Sera had been with Mahanon when she woke up and it didn't initially register?

It was so very real... 

For a moment Ellana almost believed that it was Sera really there but when the elf made way to block an upcoming attack with the dagger – Ellana had to swallow roughly and repeat the notion that she was alone.

For in that instant the blade of the Red Templar cut through the apparition and Ellana barely side-stepped clouding judgment. She summoned a wall of ice between them, but unfortunately where previous walls of ice had fallen from placing another up – an arrow pierced into her left shoulder causing her to fall to one leg in gritting pain. 

Ellana whipped around toward the archer and summoned the mark from her left. A rift swept archer from his feet. “I am alone.” She breathed out, a sweat droplet rolling down her face. “But I don't plan on dying here.”

 _'And neither do I.'_ Evelyn's voice rang out – loud and clear, it froze Ellana up and before she knew it – she was behind a cage – locked in the thresholds of her mind. 

Evelyn was out and about once more. 

The Circle Mage stood where a slumped mage once was. She was aching in the same places, but her magic felt alive and unused – calling and bidding at her to be freed. Evelyn would not deny it either – summoning fire-bolts down from the sky and cast her enemies away into deteriorating ash. 

They would know her name – Evelyn thought proudly as she used hasten lightning-like reflexes to jolt back and forth between her enemies. Sending shock-waves to those who opposed her. Evening the odds piled against her.

The world was clear to her. Unlike Ellana, such reflections would not trouble her – only the fact that she was indeed bleeding out and she would, in the end, become her own folly. 

It was as crystal as day. For whenever she took control – whatever advantage she held before was now lost on her return. 

She was practically choking on her own blood and thus Evelyn became truly afraid.

Especially so when in a sweep of flames that Corypheus finally made himself known. His silhouette causing fear to thread its way into her heart and Evelyn found herself slinking away in that fear. For she knew she could not face a god as a mortal so she backed off and handed the torch to another.

Ellana gasped as the waking world stirred in her vision once more. She had to fight through drunken fever from Evelyn's meddling. The two of them were bound for a little chat. It would be more appreciating if they could work out a mutual agreement for when the other decided to butt in. Especially when she looked like an idiot in front of Corypheus. Mouth wide open like a gaping fish. 

At least her mouth snapped shut and senses cleared up a bit when the red lyrium dragon landed behind her before roaming around her with bared teeth. It roared at her, blowing her hair back before lifting its large head to roar into the sky. 

“Enough!” Corypheus yelled silencing the beast. “Pretender you toy with forces beyond your will – no more!” 

Ellana found herself wondering what she could say or would say. But when the word pretender rolled off his tongue she knew – he was not aware of her existence. Envy really went behind the Elder Ones back. How odd yet – incredibly reassuring. 

The chess game was still in her favor. 

“What are you?” She questioned, echoing past script. “Why are you doing this?”

“Mortals beg for the truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are. What I was. Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One. The will that is Corypheus. You will kneel.” He demanded, pointing down to the ground. Behind her she felt the Dragon's breath down upon her and yet through all of it – Ellana stood her ground.

“I will do no such thing.”

Corypheus laughed. 

“You will resist. You will always resist – it matters not.” He said as he summoned orb to his hand and Ellana felt her heart tug against her chest. “I am here for the anchor.” He muttered but his words meant nothing to her. The orbit was finally in her sights once more. “The process of removing it begins now.”

His right arm shot out towards her – his red magic pulling at her left hand, and where it had once before jerked her forward. Ellana snapped and found the strength to pull away. The tug itself pulled him towards her and in the process caused Corypheus to stumble in shock. The orb rolling from his hands onto the snowy plains below. He made way for it, and Ellana took the momentum to charge forward. 

Had Solas been here he would have wished her to go after what was his – but he was not. 

Instead she found herself looking up into the sky – alone flame-lit arrow shot out into the sky – a signal – _**Cole.**_ It was enough – Ellana moved before finally sliding to a stop. She then whirled back around towards Corypheus when she reached the trebuchet once more. 

“You will pay for making a mockery out of me!” He snapped once he had his wits in order. 

Orb safely back into his grasp.

“Your arrogance blinds you. Good to know. If I'm dying – it's not today!” She cried out before kicking the trebuchet into action. It whirled and sent forth flying bolder into snowy peaks above. A landslide gave weigh and Corypheus turned to call Dragon to aid him in the escape. Ellana however made way for her own pathway. She stumbled in her dizziness but managed to roll into the caverns below. Safe and what would be thought to be dead in her enemies minds. 

Finally, the plan was coming together.

_Skyhold._

_**Home.** _

It awaited her. 

The tears would have to wait.

There were worse things than Corypheus.

Like freezing to death.

With a broken laugh, Ellana gathered herself back to her feet. Staggering out of the cavern and into the chilling storm. The wind whistled but she managed. In the distance, she could hear a wolf howl. 

_Solas._

Of course, he was searching for her. 

They were always searching for each other. Ellana wanted to stretch her mana out to him. To reassure Solas that she was perfectly fine... Yet limitations damned her. This body was not able to reach as far as she wanted it and Evelyn went silent as if she was never there to begin with. 

With a furrowed brow Ellana was forced to endure his howling cries and press on forward into the storm. The motivation being that at least at the end of all this – he would be back in her arms. They would be together – and she could tease him endlessly about his constant worrying.

She was a big girl after all. She could handle herself. 

Ellana stumbled forward when she tripped over a wheel in the snow from one of the carriages she found a few yards back. She hadn't seen it from her daydreaming but now after coming face-first with the snow – Ellana regretted it. The cold enveloped her and wounds that were healing opened once more. She hissed at her foolishness. Now wasn't the time! 

She shivered and sighed. 

Back on her feet, Ellana looked around. She squinted her eyes and used right hand to attempt to block the snowstorm. In the distance, she saw an abandoned fireplace. Cold – with an iced over pot on the snowy hilltops. “It's cold – nothing.” Ellana grimaced when her stomach growled in hunger. “Not good.” The howls of her wolf would allow her to continue on – latching onto his voice in desperation. She could not give up now. 

Further up the cliff, Ellana began to feel her legs go numb so she took wider steps, luckily after all her hard work another campfire came into sight. She could hear the howl of a wolf grow closer than ever before and she smiled when she examined the area. “Embers. Recent.” 

She had found them.

It was just a little more. 

A little more uphill to go and when she reached the top, the camp could be seen from down below. 

A most welcoming sight indeed.

Ellana fell to her knees and let out a sigh of relief when Cullen, Cassandra, and Mahanon's voice flooded her weary mind.

It was time to rest.

She was finally out of the storm and into the eye.


	29. Not Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be Strong Enough to Let Go and Wise Enough To Wait for What You Deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I am so ashamed - I told you it would be late -- so embarrassing!!

Awakening to comrades yelling at each other was not an ideal situation. But given that they were – Ellana was pleased to an extent. It meant they were in the clear and the pieces could now fall into place accordingly. 

Mahanon stood beside Cassandra wearily. The look in his eyes held something familiar. There was no doubt in her mind that the experience placed a toll on him and with it, Ellana secretly wonders if he is troubled at night by the same demons she is haunted by.

“Let them fight...They have that luxury. Thanks to you.” Mother Giselle told her. Ellana allowed herself to lay back to down upon her pillow. 

She's heard this before but it's nice to hear a little recognition every once in a while. 

At least something was going to come out from all this. “It was a shame we didn't have much time to prepare. We were most fortunate that the Maker was watching over us on this day. Most of the villagers were saved. The only one unaccounted for was Minaeve. ”

Ellana bolted up from her spot at the reminder of her transgression only to be pushed back down by Giselle. “Another heated voice won't help. Even yours. Perhaps especially yours.”

“I saw her,” Ellana confessed as she swatted Giselle's hands away from her. Ellana shifted her body, sat up, legs now hanging over the side of the bunk as she allowed her body to crane forward gesturing a posture of guilt. “Minaeve. I had to leave her behind.” Ellana felt her knuckles tighten, but the effect was lost when Giselle placed her warm hands over her frozen ones. 

“You need not explain your reasons. I've seen my share of countless bloodshed. I _can_ tell...It must have been hard for you. Your _eyes_ , they tell a story – One that bends and twists...The Maker will show us the path. I know it's hard to accept, no? What “we” have been called to endure? What really matters is that you came back to us from death's grip and for that, we have been truly blessed by the Maker's will.”

Ellana turned to head away from those words. She wouldn't allow herself to be pulled into such a grand illusion. A religious veil would not cover her eyes. 

“I escaped the avalanche. Barely, perhaps, but I didn't die.” Giselle pulled away dejectedly but was quick to rebound. 

“Of course and the dead cannot return from across the veil. But the people knew what they saw.” 

Ellana found herself laughing accompanied by a very unladylike snort. 

Not because of Giselle's words but simply more so because Ellana did technically cross the veil over as a spirit. 

From another world in fact? 

Does that still count? 

Either way, Ellana shook her head laughing. 

A smile finally growing on her lips. 

“I know what I must do. My heart is telling me the time is _now._ I must confess to you and the others that I knew Haven was to fall. I've known from the very beginning.” Giselle looked at her with wide eyes but Ellana simply bowed her head to her in thanks. Ellana quickly rose up and moved over to tent pillar to lean on. Looking outwards she was able to get a good look on her fellow comrades. The noise had finally settled and her advisors had finished with their constant bickering.

Leliana was currently sitting on the floor next to the fireplace in deep thought. Aside her sat Josephine on a wooden bench mulling over a headache she was going to have in the mornings to come. 

Cullen shifted uneasily, looking around every once in awhile still plagued with the anxiety of what could possibly be another deadly sneak attack. 

Cassandra, on the other hand, was currently leaned over a picnic table looking over the world map. Trying to find somewhere – someplace they could go. Behind her, thankfully, stood Mahanon. His right hand gently massaging her back as he joined her in pointing out possible areas in which to explore. They were both smiling, _happy._

With knitted brows – Ellana knew the confession must be heard. Even though her heart plunged upon the idea of breaking up what friendships she thought to form. 

“Shadows fall and hope has fled.”

 _Oh._

Ellana whirled around to see Mother Giselle bowing her head. Ellana thought the woman was crying by her posture. But as Giselle got closer, her voice picked up into the wind, carrying it into the hearts of those who wished to hear it. “Steel your heart. The Dawn will come. The Night is long and the path is dark. Look to the sky...For one day soon. The Dawn will come.” 

Before Ellana could grasp the emphasis on the moment, Leliana was staggering up on her feet and singing too. 

“The Shepard's lost and his home is far. Keep to the Stars and the Dawn will come.” 

Soon more and more people started joining the chorus of voices. Even Cullen of all people, with his tone-deaf voice, managed to sing along. 

It was funny, but just as stirring too. 

Ellana could do without the kneeling though. 

_Really._

Without the kneeling.

Ellana looked at Mahanon for support. He and Cassandra merely met her with two pearly smiles. Well, one smug one because Mahanon was getting a kick out of her discomfort.

_Fenedhis last._

Ellana turned gaze elsewhere.“Bare your blade, and raise it high.” Her eyes stopped short when she finally saw Cole. He was leaning over a now, passed-away, Chancellor Rodrick. Cole leaned over the body and proceeded to close Rodrick's eyes with his right hand before pulling away. 

Compassion.

It moved her. Ellana found herself wanting to take a step forward but frozen when her eyes met his face.

He looked positively furious. Thankfully the gaze was not aimed at her but rather someone else in the distance. She peered through the crowds of people that were gathering. 

_Solas._

Ellana swallowed roughly.

It was an odd thing to do.

Solas was smiling at her so proudly as if he couldn't be more happy to see her placed on some kind of high note-worthy pedestal.  
Like she was some sort of trophy.

_Fenedhis._

The thought irked her to no end.

XXX

When the song finally ended. There were numerous of laughter and cheers that cried out. Mother Giselle was most pleased with herself and Ellana was just glad she made it through her astonished numbness alive. 

“Faith is made stronger by facing doubt. Untested it is nothing.” Ellana felt her brow raised. She watched Mother Giselle move away towards the children - all smiles. It was needless to say a stunning experience.

In fact, Mother Giselle never ceased to continue to surprise her. 

It was clear in Ellana's eyes that devotion towards the Maker never once stopped flowing throughout Giselle's veins. Even more so after hearing Ellana's whispered confessions under the moonlit sky. 

It was ironic.

If anyone should be a beacon of hope – it should be Giselle. 

After all whenever Mother Giselle was close by – there was this unexplainable urge to get off one's feet and fight. 

Maybe the Maker was truly amongst them. 

Maybe, _just maybe_ , Mother Giselle was the Maker all along. 

Ellana laughed at her foolishness.

How odd and yet – strangely _riveting._

“A word?” 

Ellana jumped at the voice. She turned to see Solas, he tilted his head towards the outer edges of the camp. He was leading her away to talk, to escape. 

He really did not need to say much else. Ellana followed behind closely without any second thoughts. 

She swore he strutted over to an unlit torch in such a way she nearly fell over and giggled but she managed to keep her wits about it when he summoned a ball of flame. In an instant, he shielded the darkness from sight and the cold that drifted between them now began to linger away with every crackling warmth filled sparks. “We need to talk.”

Her heart stung at his words, but she managed to nod numbly. 

She knew this talk would come. 

Mahanon warned her it would. In his hidden message.

Yet even so fear crept back into her heart and the cold began to nip at her sides sending her mind running.

Searching for the answers before it hit her over the head...

Solas sudden need to not be at her side.  
A tail between his legs.  
The way his eyes danced in the fire, looking downcast.

Her heart bled. 

And yet – through all her fears.  
None of them came to light.

“Mother Giselle. She's a wise woman. Worth heeding. Her kind understands the moments that unify a cause. Or fracture it. The Orb Corypheus carried. You know it to be mine. You know what Corypheus intends to do with it...I simply cannot allow this world to become enslaved again after fighting so hard to prevent it. I will stay at your side. Ellana. This time, I will swear it.” 

“And here I thought you were breaking up with me.” She told him scowling in a jokingly matter. Solas's eyes flashed with confusion, sputtering at such a ridiculous thought and Ellana couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh. 

His brow raised ever more, but Ellana stayed away from it. She was just not ready to explain herself just yet. There were other things to discuss. 

Other _people._

Her eyes turned narrow as she faced him, and much to her surprise – he beat her to the punch.

“I know about Minaeve. What - don't look so surprised - News travels fast and I assumed you must have had a hand in it. Especially after what I had told you. I'm not mad Ellana. Disappointed yes, but not mad. I had anticipated as much. Is this why you thought I would break up with you?”

“ _No_!” She responded suddenly feeling very embarrassed. “Well, partially, but _Mahanon_ may have mentioned something more.” 

How did they possibly manage to go from addressing death to something so frivolous? 

“Of course,” Solas responded, sighing, “Mahanon...He would have something to do with all this.”

“Are you and Cole fighting?” Ellana suddenly sprang up, thinking back. Solas groaned before rubbing the bridge of his nose. “ _ **Solas!**_ Are you _kidding_ me?! The two of you used to be the best of friends in my old world! Your jealousy really has gotten too far!” 

She was scolding him and he was just as perplexed that she was. 

“How could I not be jealous when he _loves_ you. _**The both of you**_!” He confessed irritably. 

“ _What?_ " Ellana practically shrilled. "What in world are you talking about Solas?” Solas growled. He turned away, rubbing his forehead before glancing back at her with a sigh.

“ _ **Ir abelas.**_ I meant to tell you this sooner - but I suppose now is plenty good as ever.”

“Tell me _what_ ?” 

“Cole, he, he loves both _you and Evelyn._ He wants you to himself. So of course - I am _wary_ of that! _**Ar lath ma, ma vhenan,**_ wait, _w-why_ are you laughing?”

“Oh, _Vhenan,_ ,” Ellana said lovingly as moved closed to him. She placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled. “This Cole is different. You needn't feel so hostile. He is the Spirit of Compassion. Cole knows and understands what you and I want. He will respect that. He has always respected that.”

“Ah.” Solas could only manage. His mind reeling towards the reminder that even in the future Cole still willingly handed over Ellana to him without any second thoughts. 

Cole was not his enemy. 

Ellana continued to laugh at Solas's inner mental battle. 

It was adorable, at best. 

She couldn't help but place her arms around his neck and tease him while giggling all the more. “But, _Evelyn,_ ” He struggled out. 

“But _**the Dread Wolf**_ ,” She mocked with a whine and all the more while smiling mischievously to boot. 

It was then that his eyes flashed to red almost instantly at the call.  
A wolf-like shadow looming over her and onto the snow topped hills below. 

Ellana swore the Wolf chuckled before tilting his head to nip at her neck.  
Ah yes, this one was different too.  
Playful and somewhat more ballsy than the other.

Ellana could only greet the wolf with her own chuckle as his lips glossed over her neck.  
He really had no idea what personal space was.  
It was when he dared to pull away and open his mouth that she delivered a swift tightened right fist to the gut.  
The wolf sputtered, reeling over in pain and before she knew it Solas was again back, leaning on her right shoulder a bit – thunderstruck. 

“Sorry – _he came out_ – didn’t he – _**I never meant.**_ ” Ellana smiled and patted his left shoulder as a way to console him.

“ _The Wolf._ I can handle him.” She responded to ease his worries. “Just as when it comes to Evelyn,” She began, straightening him back up, before slapping his left arm playfully. “I expect you will be able to do the same.”

His face contorted instantly.

“I could _never_ hit you.”

“ _ **No,**_ but you could at most scare her away with your charming personality.”

She watched as his brows furrowed.

“Excuse me?” 

He seemed really offended by that.  
Even though he should really know better.  
_Everyone_ hated it.

“Just rant Solas. Rant about some Elvish thing you don't like. Trust me. It will work.”

“ _I...Alright_.”

“We should get going though,” Ellana mentioned turning back towards camp. “ _Tarasyl'an Te'las_ awaits.” Solas caught her arm instantly.

“You know about _**Skyhold**_?”

Ellana tilted her head at his question.

“Of course I do. You showed it to me.”

Solas blinked, but quickly caught on.

“So you plan to go there again?”

“Of course. After all, by attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it.”

“Changed _you_.” He said pointedly, and she found herself smiling. 

Yes, Pride once also echoed the very same words. 

“Scout to the North. Be their guide...There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build...Grow...”

“ _Skyhold_.” Solas emphasized again. There was an irritation on his lips and she couldn't place why.

“Yes. Is that alright?” 

She was surprised when he seemed taken back by this.

“Why are you asking for my permission – _ah_ \- _**I see**_ – you also know the truth about that too...You know Ellana...I can't help but feel a little jealous. You say he kept these secrets from you but somehow you know almost all of them.”  
Ellana laughed so that's where his irritation was bubbling.

“I didn't find out through him.” Her words were bitter. "I found out through chasing after him." 

“ _Ir abelas, ma Vhenan._ ” Solas said suddenly and Ellana shook her head, managing a soft smile.

There was really no need.

“Tel'abelas.” She told him before pulling him towards her into a long-awaited kiss. 

_Tel'abelas._

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ar lath ma, ma vhenan: "I love you, my heart."  
> Ir abelas: "I am sorry."  
> Ir abelas, ma vhenan: "I am filled with sorrow for your loss, my heart. “  
> Tel'abelas: "I am not/ not sorry."


	30. The Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: The most profound things are inexpressible.

Ellana utterly and wholesomely loved Solas.

Just being with him, she felt complete.

Profound.

Ellana felt tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

She laughed at the need to suddenly cry.

If only, if only she could stay forever underneath such heated gaze. 

“ _Ar lath ma,_ _**Solas,**_ ” She whispered as she caressed the right side of his cheek. 

Such smooth skin – it was a blessing to hold. " _Ar lath ma,_ _**Vhenan.**_ "

A tear escaped, and then another. 

And soon to follow what would be a miraculous cascading waterfall of pure bliss. 

Thankfully much to her delight and embarrassment – Solas was there to witness it, smiling ever so brightly.

“ _Ar lath ma,_ _**Vhenan**_.” He replied chuckling ever so softly as he pulled her back into his warming embrace. 

If only Ellana could stay like this – she'd be perfectly content.

XXX

Oh, how Solas loved her.

He never wanted to let go. 

If he could have her in his proximity at all times, he'd find his heart skip a most pleasant beat. 

The images of Ellana captured his mind. 

Playing out ever so slowly whenever he captured such steady unwavering gaze.

Her smile.

Her tears.

And now her would be – gasps.

A playful smirk crossed the wolf's lips as he lapped tongue across the bare neck. 

She shivered beneath him. 

Calling for _him._

Not the wolf.

_**Him.** _

_Pride._

_**Solas.** _

He felt renewed, reawaken. 

_Amazing._

All his life – he spent reaching out to what seemed to be an untouchable golden chalice.

Following the path of ancient lore, chasing after a looming shadow under moonlight's harsh shine.

Yet all that came to a halt.

One woman stood in his path.

Blocking that goal.

_**Ellana.** _

He didn't regret their meeting or how the circumstances that followed which allowed her to stand by his side.

No, what truly mattered now was that he had finally found something more.

Her touch.

Oh, how he so desperately longed for it.

And yet --

Now that she was in his arms --

He couldn't let go.

He would never let go.

If only Solas could stay like this – he'd be perfectly content as well. 

XXX

The two of them needed each other.

Solas needed her warmth just as much as Ellana needed his smile.

Hands ever embracing as they spent the night in each other's arms.

Unaware of what had blossomed because of it.

Time would surely tell.

But for now – 

At least – 

They had each other.

_Hand in Hand._

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ar lath Ma, Vhenan - I love you, my heart.
> 
> Notes:  
> I hope this chapter is enough! It was short yes – but I'm not the best person when it comes to writing actual lemons. I just can't.  
> Get all blushy and I end up being like help - I need a cold shower – Bliss has encountered a fatal error please reboot system...  
> So this is the only way I could safely maneuver/write it. 
> 
> Sorry for my failures!
> 
> Thanks for sticking around!


	31. To Empathize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself. - by Mohsin Hamid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** : This chapter contains very minor. But still contains Self Harm. 
> 
> Brace yourselves it's a dramatic one.
> 
> Also, Thank you.

He was searching, scouting. 

Anything would do just fine.

Mahanon was frustrated.

He wanted to be useful. 

Sure he saved people, but looking down at his right hand, the anchor – he felt torn.

Foolish and blind. 

Ever since he woke from conclave's explosion – he was living in some fantasized world. Everyone he met hailed him as this hero. The one born to save the world. The people looked at him and relied on him. 

Then the Elder One came. Bringing an army so massive that it sent chills down his spine. A real Dragon dove from the clouds and brought firey breath right down on the town below. The will to fight slipping out of his reach, the will to become a hero – lost. 

Coward.

He was afraid.

Swept away by the fear – he turned tail and ran away from confrontation. Hoping deep in his mind that another would pardon them. Ellana. The true hero. 

Mahanon felt his teeth grit at the reminder.

He didn't have a choice. 

The anchor was behaving oddly. It twitched and burned into his skin. Muscle spasms caused him to gave weigh in his footings. He fell in shock – nothing in all of his life had ever felt so agonizing. It was tearing into him. Calling him.

For a moment. He felt a presence. 

Mahanon didn't dare look back at first. It was a tall figure. Shadowing over him as it breathed down his neck. At one point he thought the wolf had returned from beyond fragmented mirror – and then the image came to him in the reflection of beads of sweat that hit the floor. Something he'd never had seen before. 

The Elder One. 

It had caught up with him.

To take back what was his.

The Anchor.  
How was it possible for him to see this person.

_**How?** _

_“Mahanon,”_ A voice called as he found himself coughing up blood. It was just a small amount, probably from untreated wounds. He turned to see Cassandra gazing down at him worriedly. _“Are you alright?”_

He managed a smile, nodding. He couldn't let her know how much pain he was in. He was supposed to be a hero. 

He held the mark.

 _ **“I have to go back.”**_ He whispered into the nothingness. _**“I have to fight off the Elder One.”**_

The cold wind rushed through him as he slung the heavy bag over his shoulder. 

_ “No.” _

The voice made him jump. 

Or maybe it was the snap of a twig in the distance. 

A bear or perhaps even a wandering wolf?

Whatever it was, he needed to move fast. He couldn't let himself be caught up by surprise. 

After all, that was his job – rogue and all.

And yet he found himself glancing over his shoulder to see a ghostly apparition of himself still running – running away in those dark corridors. _“You mustn't go back.”_

With a sigh, Mahanon glanced forward again, coming face to face with The Dread Wolf. 

_**No.**_ Mahanon thought with a twitch of his head as he tried to recall the moment accurately. _**No, this was not the Dread Wolf.**_ This was Solas. _**Yes.**_ It was Solas who stood blocking his path.

Blocking the way back towards Ellana. 

Challenging him.

 _“No one else is coming.”_ His words were bitter. _“We need to keep moving.”_

 _ **“But,”**_ Mahanon's voice echoed, even though his lips felt no movement. _**“But what about--”**_

Solas grabbed hold of his arm, jerking him back in the opposite direction despite Cassandra's protests.

“ _Now is not the time. We need to keep moving. It's the least we can do... After all E—Evelyn has chosen to do this. We must respect it._ ” 

Mahanon felt his bag slip from his hands. The wood he had gathered piling out. With sewed lips, Mahanon attempted to pick it back up. 

Dawn was coming, he at least should be back at camp. 

Tending to the fires as per instructed.

Cassandra thought to give him an easy job so he could relax. Mahanon laughed. This was hardly relaxing. If anything. All it did was remind him of the falling debris. Haven. The Children. The way their little hands clung to him. Sobbing into his chest and thanking him all the same.

If only they knew the truth. 

It pained him to think that they wanted to believe he was something more. He was no hero. He only came this way because, because Ellana wished him to. It was all because of her.

Not him.

With a sniff, Mahanon gathered the firewood back into his bag and made way to sling it back over his shoulder. 

He froze however when his eyes caught sight of a silhouette of a woman standing before him.

Evelyn.

His mouth slackened upon taking her features in.

 _“There are still more people that need our help.”_

_**“There will be much more if you and I die here today!”**_

He heard his voice echo back. 

The look on her face, he realized. Was a true reflection of pained expression that he wore now. _**“Than you go and run!”**_

Her voice sounded so different. 

Loud. 

Booming.

It swallowed the world around him.

 _ **No.**_ Mahanon's head twitched again. _ **No.**_

It was his voice that was mocking a shadowed apparition. _**“But I am not turning my back on these people once again. I failed them once. I'll be damned to do it twice!”**_

Mahanon's hands were grasping at his head, pulling at his white locks in panic.

He was going insane.

This was all too much. 

If only. 

If only he hadn't removed himself from the playing field.

But he was afraid.

He was a coward.

The truth haunts him, and because of it –

Mahanon cries. 

XXX

Dawn is here.

The light in the distance causes Mahanon to find the strength to move forward.

He is getting closer and closer to camp again and while he comes back barehanded – at least he feels at peace knowing the others – Cassandra – did not get to witness him in such a diminished state. 

He does not wish to trouble them with it.

Unfortunately just when he feels he's out of the danger, something feels off. 

Mahanon doesn't understand the need but he finds himself climbing up into the trees. Looking for a would-be predator in the distance.

Maybe the hero in him was finally stirring awake?

Whatever it was, it gave him chills. 

The good kind of chills.

Something was out there, and it wasn't an animal either. 

Mahanon pauses for a moment. Right hand halting movement over sheathed dagger as he loomed over a bundle of bushes. Something was rustling around inside it. Upon further inspection, he catches sight of a figure in the distance. 

Mahanon swallows as he edges closer to the individual. 

_**A ghost?** _

His mind questions as he catches clear sight of a flowing white gown. 

Perhaps a mourning mother looking to find a lost child in the middle of a snowstorm?

No impossible.

The winds had calmed down.

Besides as he ventured closer he was able to place face to such a marveling spirit.

 _ **Ellana.**_

A snicker escaped his lips.

“Isn't it a bit too early for you to be sneaking around the outskirts of camp at this time?”

“ _Fenedhis lasa._ ” He heard her curse under her breath.

With a raised brow, he felt himself wondering. 

_**Why was it always wolf dicks with her?** _

_**Oh, wait.**_

_**That's right.** _

Mahanon watched Ellana turn to face him. But in actuality, she turned to face the nothingness below. 

Mahanon snickered at her momentary confusion. He couldn't wait to tell the others how he had fooled the oh so great Ellana into thinking that she had simply imagined his voice. 

Her head tilting was practically priceless.

“Up here.” He called.

Ellana groaned but complied. 

The best part for him was when Ellana actually turned her head upwards to look for him. Only to find he wasn't there but instead had jumped down in front of her – to scare.

Ellana didn't yelp. 

But she _**did**_ drop the bundle of clothing she was holding in her arms. 

Evelyn's clothing in fact.

“Shouldn't you be sleeping?” Ellana gritted out as she picked up the fallen garments.

“Shouldn't you be with _Solas_?” He teased, earning a rare blush.

“I _was_ with Solas.” She told him as a matter of fact. “It was a wonderful night. One I'll treasure for a lifetime.”  
A twitching smile played on his lips.

“ _Oh really?_ ” He said whistling. “So does that mean your curse is broken then?”

Ellana shook her head, groaning at the reminder. “Are you sure – you look all Elfy to me...The Dread Wolf must have _shagged_ the Elf right out of you.”

“Mahanon _**please.**_ ” Ellana bit back. “It's really none of your business what Solas and I do.”

Mahanon sighed. 

Really - Ellana was no fun. 

No wonder Solas liked her so much. 

A pole up both of their asses.

Normally Mahanon would have waved this off, but the fact that she looked so exasperated made him wonder. Why was she out here anyways? 

What was she hiding?

“Ellana,” He began hoping to break the ice. But she turned away from him and in his frustration, he snapped out and grabbed hold of left arm – pulling her back towards him.

That's all it took for him to see it too. The sight of dried up blood.

Mahanon froze at the sight. 

Fresh cuts – well most of them had healed by now – but fresh cuts along the sides of her wrists. _**No. Yes.**_

Mind reeling.

Ellana was the hero. 

Not him. _**“Ellana, were you cutting yourself?”**_

Ellana broke free - eyes widening in horror upon realizing he had seen.

_“I---no--I--”_

_**“Ellana!”**_ He shouted ceasing her stuttering and shivering.

It was then that she had finally stilled herself, swallowing roughly. _**“Explain.”**_

 _“I was just trying to check.”_ She managed. “When I woke up – I thought maybe we really did break the curse...”

“So why would you – _**why would you cut yourself?**_ ” Mahanon questioned. 

It didn't make sense to him.

Ellana was the hero.

So why-why was she losing her footing to someone like him?

The Coward.

 _“You wouldn't understand._ ” She snipped and he growled at her response.

“ _ **Try.**_ ” Ellana cursed, again and again before finally looking his way and settling with a sigh.

“I needed to check if I was still Immortal. _I am._ The wounds are healing. _See,_ ” She paused pointing to her wrist, “they are already gone. _Good as new._ ”

“Why does it matter if you're immortal?” He questioned but it clicked before she could answer. “Is this about Solas?” She looked away almost instantly. 

Bulls-eye. Mahanon shook his head.

Of course, it was about Solas. “Immortality wouldn't separate you Ellana.”

“ _ **Your wrong!**_ ” She countered fiercely. “I've _seen_ it happen before.”

“ _ **It doesn't matter.**_ ” He countered strongly. “That world is different from ours.”

“ _No, it's not._ ” She insisted. “The _people_ are different but Corypheus's actions are still the same. _Haven still fell._ Just like mine did before. It all was the same. _**Nothing has changed**_.”

“ _Wait_ – _**what**_?” 

Mahanon couldn't find the words to speak then. 

In fact just what she had said alone – his mouth had gone numb. 

“I'm sorry Mahanon. I knew Haven's fate. _I've known all along._ ” 

_**Chair.**_

_**Chair.** _

_**Chair.** _

He needed to sit.

But out here – out here there was none. 

His legs felt like jelly. 

All he could do instead was simply stare at Ellana in pure disbelief.

And yet – and yet – everything began to make sense. 

Everything spun in a full circle. “I understand if you hate me. I left you all in the dark for so long.”

Mahanon chose to ignore those comments. Instead, he was letting his mind explore this revelation that was dying to be explored.

“So that's why...” He breathed out, fascination flooding his mind. “That's why you told me to rescue them...That's why. It was not because you had wanted to save them. It was because you were making up the fact that you had already failed.” 

“ _Yes._ ” She breathed out. Her eyes finally beginning to well up. “I'm sorry to put you through that. I didn't want you to be--”

“It's alright. After all, we managed to rescue most of them and that's what counts – _right_?”

“ _Mahanon_?” 

He hummed at her call. _“I used to hear them at night.”_

He froze. “I would sometimes see them too. _The ghosts of the children. The ghosts of the people I left behind that day._ I used to wonder if I was going insane.”

“ _ **Ellana--**_ ”

“ _Last night,_ ” She began, licking her lips, “ Last night was the first night that I _stopped hearing the voices._ I was finally at peace. All thanks to him. _All thanks to Solas._ So yes, _**yes,**_ when I woke – I was afraid. I needed to _run_ – to get away before anyone could see me. _**This Inquisition**_ , _this world,_ it needs Evelyn, not Ellana. _Evelyn's body is immortal because I am a Spirit._ – _**If Solas and I continue this relationship...And somehow we bring my body over to this side then I'll lose immortality, we, Evelyn and myself both will. I hate feeling so trapped in my decisions.”**_

“Even so, none of that matters. At least not to him.” Mahanon argued softly, “Solas will love you unconditionally Ellana.”

" _I know,_ but even still. I doubt."

It was then that Ellana let out a sob, and Mahanon smiled. 

“Now don't you think you should be returning to you know whose bed-side before he turns over the whole camp to look for you?”

Ellana shook her head, rubbing away tears with a laugh.

“Solas would not _**level**_ the camp to look for me.” 

“Could have fooled me with the way you acted in that future world we were in.”

Ellana finally smiled.

“Mahanon, there's something else I need to tell you before I go.”

“ _More secrets?_ Don't tell me that I'm the one you've been secretly pining for because I'll have you know my heart is taken.”

“ _No, no,_ ” Ellana replied, waving her hand. “Nothing like that.”

“Then what jaw-dropping revolution do I need to brace myself for?”

“Well for one _Skyhold_ of course.”

XXX

“Say what?”

“ _Please do this for me._ ” 

Mahanon grinned as he glanced back to see the Inquisition following behind him. Cassandra at his side, holding map out in confusion.

”Are you positively sure you saw somewhere for us to camp at?” She questioned irritably. “There doesn't seem to be any markings on this map and I can't imagine something like an abandoned fortress out here in a place like this.”

“That's because we aren't there yet Cassandra,” Mahanon replied, and she grumbled about not liking this one bit. 

“You said we were almost there about an hour ago...Perhaps you should bring this up with _Evelyn_.” 

Mahanon groaned at the idea. 

Why would he do that when it was Ellana who put him up to this? 

_“Scout to the North. Be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build...Grow...”_

“Just trust me – it's right over that ridge.” Cassandra rolled her eyes, closing her map, and placed it back into her pouch. He watched as she proceeded onwards but when she paused and gasped – he felt left hand finally drawn knife. He bolted right up towards her to protect any oncoming enemy but instead, his blade dropped and his words died in his throat at the sight.

Just over the ridge.

_**“Skyhold.”** _

“So this is Skyhold.” A voice came, he turned to see Solas. Grinning ever so smugly.

“ _This_ —This is beyond my expectations.” Cassandra managed. “You've really done well Mahanon.” She told him. Going as far as to kiss the side of his cheek. “I shouldn't have doubted you. _I feel silly._ I am sorry.”

“It's fine.” He managed still somewhat astonished by the fact that this keep would be his to explore and to use freely. “Mistakes were made.” Cassandra actually laughed before turning heel to join the others. She would inform them of the sights and to get them to begin making preparations to move into such a grand abandoned fortress.

Mahanon shifted once she was gone and edged towards Solas who was simply taking in such a marvelous sight.

“So, did Ellana ever return to your tent last night?” Solas glanced at him, confusion splashing over his face.

 _“What do you mean?”_ Mahanon sputtered and coughed. 

So Ellana did manage to make it back before Solas stirred awake.

“Oh sorry, I mean...I meant to say, where is she now?”

 _“Present.”_ An odd voice came. 

Solas groaned and Mahanon turned to see a Circle Mage standing before him. 

So she did manage to change back. 

Mahanon was almost curious to find out how. “So this is the _Skyhold_ you were talking about?” 

“Yes this is the one,” Solas commented somewhat agitatedly. 

“It's not that great. Expected something much bigger," She paused, wavering her hand at Solas, " _ **Considering.**_ ” 

Solas looked positively ill at that remark. 

It was a bit alarming.

Had something happened?

More than just the sex?

Mahanon shifted between the two in bewilderment. 

“Hang on –“ He spoke up, causing the two to look at him with double brows raised. He pointed at Ellana with mouth hanging open wide in confusion. “Your the one who told me to come out here this morning. You practically begged me to.”

“ _Ha?_ ” Ellana questioned, crossing arms over the chest. “This is the first time I've seen you today. What are you on about?” 

Mahanon blinked.

Had he dreamt the encounter?

He immediately grabbing her -- checking her arms despite her proliferate cursing. 

_**Nothing.** _

And then he felt stupid.

Of course, they healed last night. “ _ **Unhand me. What the hell is wrong with you men?**_ ”

Mahanon swallowed.

“I don't understand.” He managed.

“ _Mahanon,_ ” Solas called. He looked up at the mage, lost and befuddled all the more. “That is _Evelyn._ That is _**Evelyn**_ that your holding.”

“ _ **Ha?**_ ” It was him to say it this time and he finally released her only to receive a good clean slap in the face. 

“Unbelievable,” Ellana muttered angrily as she rubbed her arms. “I'll have you know that _I am the host._ Ellana is the Spirit. The outsider is _her_ not me.”

The dots slowly connected. 

But connect they did.

Mahanon pointed at the woman before him.

“ _ **Evelyn?**_ ”

Evelyn's eyes narrowed.

“ _ **Yes,**_ Mahanon? _What can I do for you?”_

“Where's _**Ellana?”**_

Her answer came almost instantly. 

A strong punch to the gut and Solas shaking his head in disbelief as Evelyn strode off, mumbling incoherently. 

“You shouldn't have done that.” 

He almost wanted to say – _No Shit_ – but the pain settled in first. 

Evelyn.

Circle Mage.

Impatient. 

Bitch.

Not Ellana.

Got it.

“ _What did you do Solas _?” Mahanon groaned out weakly. She was so happy when she left.__

__Solas blinked at the implication, then sighed inwardly._ _

__“My apologies. Had I known that our activities last night would have awakened _that person. _I would have surely preferred to stay as we were originally.”___ _

____“Don't say that.” Mahanon promptly countered. “Ellana couldn't have been happier. She really enjoyed it. In fact, you all should keep doing it. _ **Having sex**_ that is. It's good for the both of you.”_ _ _ _

____Solas sputtered, his ears turning red. Mahanon quickly waved him off. “I only know because I saw Ellana this morning. She was on the outskirts of the camp. I bumped into her while I was scouting. I assume she got back before you woke.”_ _ _ _

____Solas's shoulders sagged._ _ _ _

____“I do tend to sleep for long periods of time. Without the Foci,” He carefully dropped, “I'm not at full power and I can't control certain things...So yes, I still find myself drawn to long naps. But truthfully I'm glad that I made her happy. I want to keep making Ellana happy. _I love her_.”_ _ _ _

____Mahanon nodded._ _ _ _

____Knowing well that Solas truly did._ _ _ _

____“Solas, I know it's not my place...But you should rightfully know that this morning – even so far away from you that Ellana...That Ellana was still – _well _, how should I put this – _Elfy._ ”___ _ _ _

______There was a subtle pause._ _ _ _ _ _

_______**“What?”** _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______Mahanon held out his hands to wave down the now clearly pissed off wolf. The Wolf was now looking back at where Evelyn had disappeared to - planning to strike._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Calm down." He instructed Fen'Harel. "What it means I don't know. But obviously, the answer lies with you. With Solas.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Another pause and thankfully the wolf settled down._ _ _ _ _ _

______Solas returning to normal._ _ _ _ _ _

______“...I—I thank you,” Solas replied._ _ _ _ _ _

______Mahanon could only place his right hand on Solas's right shoulder and smile._ _ _ _ _ _

_“Mala ruled in nadas.”_

______XXX_ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations:  
>   
> 
> Mala suledin nadas: Now you must endure.


	32. Radioactive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too close. It's Dark Inside. It's where my Demon hides.

It was hard to imagine that such a place would cause so many unwanted memories. 

Evelyn Trevelyan stood just outside the gates of Skyhold - gazing out and up at the battlements above - arms crossed in pure annoyance.

She wanted none of this and yet was forced to endure all of it while her other half - the spirit - Ellana Lavellan - fell silent and remained unresponsive to her calls. 

Skyhold. 

Just beyond those gates awaited some sort of responsibility that she was supposed to have hand in leading. Evelyn felt uneasiness ripple through her. 

She was no leader. 

Ellana was much better suited to the task so why wasn't Ellana responding! 

A bead of sweat rolled down Evelyn's forehead as she shut her eyes and tried to gather the reasoning behind just why in the world would Ellana throw her out into the open and leave her in the so-called capable hands of the Dread Wolf.

Ellana was patient. She argued that there was always a chance that the Dread Wolf would cease his pursuit to end the world. 

Humorous at best - but strangely enough whenever Ellana was close to breaking and pushing Evelyn out - It was Evelyn who fought to keep Ellana's saintly image of Solas in check. 

For Evelyn just breathing in air again was the cruelest of fate.

"Damn you Ellana," Evelyn whispered out from her lips as she gazed down at The Mark. The taste of chilled air prickled her throat forcing cough from lips. 

This was clearly Ellana's doing. The woman was clearly suffering from some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Even now Evelyn was fighting through a wave of dizziness. Her eyes blurring and in what might call a momentary lapse Evelyn slipped into the daze. Eyes becoming unfocused as a shadow cast over her displaying a haunting sight of dangling loose corpses.

In a swift panic, Evelyn dared to shift field vision above, eyes refocusing in hopes to see traumatic sight for herself but instead was left with a bitter nothingness and an urge to vomit. She held down such actions with a hand to mouth and a flustered face but needless to say Evelyn couldn't claim she wasn't spooked to a certain degree. 

Ellana's past – Evelyn direly needed Ellana to get a grip on it. More like this continuation of relapse needed to be stopped now more than ever. 

This lifestyle was already becoming a huge hassle for Evelyn to bear witness to. 

This was not at all what Evelyn had wanted at all. 

Her sole purpose for coming to Conclave was just to settle some of her family disputes. 

Then this happened. 

Tasked with saving a world that had threw her away, to begin with. 

She didn't ask for this!

When Conclave blew up – Evelyn knew the blame would go to her! 

Her parents only thought of her as the uncontrollable daughter that needed to be punished. She had heard them one night even talking about allowing one of her close templar friends to perform the rite of Tranquility on her.

An unbearable thought. To be severed from magic - to be severed from the fade. 

When Evelyn saw Ellana appear out of the sky - Evelyn thought she was some kind of Angel sent to take her away from such a cruel world. 

That's why she accepted such a proposition. 

Clearly, Evelyn was left with the short end of the stick. 

Forced to face the world and it's problems once more. 

It was positively overbearing. 

Especially today. 

Evelyn hated today. 

Thinking back it was all thanks to her other half's disappearing act... 

Evelyn awoke with fluttering eyes and a state of confusion when she found herself tangled in a bundle of sheets that were not of her own. 

With a groan, Evelyn managed to pull herself up and yet as she did Evelyn felt something fall over her right hand. The contact itself nearly made Evelyn jolt up out of her skin but she managed to catch breath upon seeing just who was staring down at her so oddly with baited breathe. 

Solas.

Evelyn arched a brow. 

A thousand and one questions filling her mind as to why Solas was here of all places but those riddles were all but silenced when Solas came into her field of vision. In what would be him leaning over her - barechested and her having to digest such an overwhelming image. Evelyn felt her lips part in surprise as his right hand reached out and gently caressed her left cheek while his eyes were closed! 

He was smiling at her so tenderly that Evelyn felt her brain imploding because she really didn't understand what the hell was going on! 

Was Solas sleepwalking and somehow stumbled into Ellana's tent? 

And why in the hell was _**she**_ of all people aware of this fact? 

She shouldn't even be able to see that Solas at the moment. Especially an image of Solas that was now slowly descending down upon her in what Evelyn realized to be aimed to be for _her_ lips.

" _ **MAKER NO!**_ " She cried out as her eyes widened out in alert. 

Thankfully her body reacted to her cries and her left hand managed to twitch out and forward into his chest - preventing him from reaching his ultimate goal. 

Her lips were spared.

The rejection managed to cause Solas to stir. One eye lazily opening to gaze down at her curiously. 

“ _Vhenan?_ ” He called tentatively and at that moment Evelyn was sure someone had shot her in the chest. 

Ellana wasn't responding leaving Evelyn gurgling and sputtering awkwardly in response. 

Tears of unfamiliarity sprang up and Evelyn swayed for a moment's end upon realizing that she was out - out into the world once more. _"Vhenan?"_ Solas called once more and Evelyn felt her lips sow together unsure what to say. 

Her eyes now darting and traveling everywhere. 

Solas's nudity was very apparent and slowly she moved -- her right hand -- the feeling to do so felt numbing - like little prickling needles - but she did move it out from under Solas's hold and over to peek under the covers at the would be own naked from under tangled sheets. A gasp of horror rippled through her. “Vhenan, is everything alright?” Solas called, eyes now both opened with frightened breath. “Was it something I did?”

Evelyn scoffed at his words. 

How could this happen? 

She was furious.

How could they do this -- right under her nose? 

Wrath seethed reminding herself that whenever Ellana kissed Solas - Evelyn herself was shut out. 

Completely blown back into the furthest cornerstone of their mind. Caged and unable to see even a glimpse of the world beyond it.

Her only guided sight was to dream about the fade, explore its hidden wonders, and perhaps even to reach out to him again. 

Cole.

The two shared some sort of intimacy.

A silent voice that kept her going.

Even though it was only a fanciful reality. 

For Cole was never in the waking world - only Solas. 

_Always Solas._

Ellana forced Solas upon Evelyn and now Evelyn was waking up to it.

Breathing him in and having to swallow the fact that she was his too.

It made her furious.

Her mouth felt dry, but that would not stop her true ideals to spill out. The wrath inside of her now hearts raging out – right hand now clenching tightly at his neck. Squeezing – she didn't care of the look of betrayal he gave – she wanted him to feel the full lengths of her wrath. Her flame-touched fingertips burned and crackled earning a gargled hiss of the pain from his end. Hell, the look he gave was now begging for release and she was more than happy to oblige.

She watched as he pulled himself from her in an instant. He was back on his feet, rubbing sore throat and she laughed at the way his eyes flashed with disappointment and rage. _**“Evelyn.”**_

Evelyn proceeded to smile wickedly up at him.

“Hello, _**Wolf**_.”

She thought he was going to scurry away but what she hadn't counted on was the fact that the Dread Wolf decided to lecture her on intruding on his personal moment with Ellana. To put it frankly, it stunned her.

It, needless to say, pissed her off.

In fact, the resulting conclusion to this story was that she finally snapped and took their morning tent with it. 

Mortifying and bothersome. 

If she could erase the thought – all would be well again.

But it wasn't that simple. 

Even now – standing outside Skyhold – Evelyn felt him. Swallowing roughly as his phantom fingertips trailed down her shoulders, down her waist, and teased her inner thighs. Leaving her shaken, wet, and involuntary gasping out in delight. 

_**Bastard.** _

She would have his head.

Make no doubt of it.

She was radioactive.


	33. To Breakaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

Evelyn really hated the cold. 

She sneezed for the fifth time today and cursed inwardly at the fact there was a possibility she was already sick to boot.

It was time to go inside and give Skyhold a chance. The cold was starting to get to her and the last thing she needed was to be bedridden. 

There was no doubt in Evelyn's mind that her so-called companions would send Solas her way to care for her _if_ she indeed was ill. 

Thinking back - Vivienne was among the first of so-called companions that she had managed to accidentally interact with. At first, their conversation was pleasant and most welcomed as they traversed the mountainside. It enlightened Evelyn on just how close Ellana and Solas had become in her absence. Going as far as to kiss in front of her companions and revealing true form without any care of any reprimanding factors that may follow. 

Stupid. 

The two of them were most stupid.

Things like this needed to be taken in baby steps and because of their irrational emotions Evelyn spent most of her time simply apologizing to Vivienne because she was not that person. In fact, the two of them chatted about her most undesirable predicament and how to better it in the future. Unfortunately, that is when things became most sour.

Vivienne wanted to bring back the Circles - a place where while it was true that Evelyn did meet people whom she could call real friends - it was also a place Evelyn would never call home. Those friends she cared for became people who sacrificed themselves for her and gave way for her to escape from that homey environment. The Circles, while it had good intentions at the start, became the pinnacle of every mages worst nightmare. A place where Templars would follow your every movement. One couldn't even eat in peace without being watched from overhead. The Templars swore that they were keeping them safe but anyone who had a brain could tell that this was just a tool to keep the mages in line. 

Vivienne told her stories of comforting tales. Of how the Priests guided her and trained her to keep her magic calm, nothing beastly like. Evelyn had to hold breath every step of the way. This woman was nothing but a drone serving a lost cause. 

_'I will look into it.'_ She had remembered saying but such promises would never see the light of day. 

"You should really get inside - you might get sick." Solas's voice finally appeared causing shoulders to instantly sag. 

With a withering glare, Evelyn turned to see the Wolf eyeing her cautiously. 

Evelyn knew that he was bound to eventually catch up to her but she had secretly hoped during the time she spent spacing out that the Wolf would have simply walked right on by and left her to be. 

But of course - such hopes were dashed whenever _**Solas**_ was involved.

"Must you really Solas?" She began testing the waters. "Is there no one else you can find to prattle on with while Elanna is unavailable?" 

He scowled, and she smiled at the way he seemed to be oh so taken back by her words. "What's wrong - I didn't take the _Dread_ \--"

"SHHH!" Solas interrupted eyes burning and she couldn't help but laugh. 

There was no one around.

" _Wolf_ , " She continued despite his clear displeasure, "of all people to act like a little lost Mabari pup without his dear sweet Ellana at his side. How sad." 

His eyes darkened significantly and now it was her turn to scowl. "Don't look at me like that." She snapped, _"You started it."_

She was surprised when he shook his head, and straightened himself out.

"So checking on your well-being is a form of starting a fight with you now, is it? Should I tip-toe on the air of caution whenever I walk by? If that is the case - apologies Trevelyan. I did not mean to offend." 

Evelyn felt her tongue touch the inside of the right cheek.

Damn did that statement unquestionably strike a nerve. Should have seen Wolf's face when she punched him dead in the jaw. 

Guess he didn't think she had it in her. 

Proved him wrong that's for damn sure. 

But Maker!

He was so annoying!

Even the way he held his jaw and stared at her with such discontent. She could feel his mana slightly pull and then release. He was unsure of what action to take with her and because of this uncertainty - this flickering ideal of his that she was not to be burned back - Evelyn scoffed.

"I told you to stay away from me Solas. What's so hard to understand about that? You think someone like the _**Dread**_ \--"

 _ **"Enough!"**_ He interrupted yet again, this time his mana spiking so high that she found herself going mute. His aura was bled murderous intent - it so frightening that Evelyn found herself taking a step back and honestly wishing that she could undo whatever said to have pressed this unwanted reaction. _**"What would it take for you to hold that blasted tongue of yours?"**_ He snapped as he pushed forward and closed spaced between them. Evelyn swallowed roughly when faced with such raw hatred. It was so uncomfortable she found her gaze wavering away from his redden orbs. All she could manage was a shameful silent apology as she continued to keep eyes glued to the floor.

Thankfully much to her prayers, Solas pulled away - greatly sighing discontentedly. _**"Look Evelyn."**_ She winced at the call, and he fell silent instantly. Evelyn slowly raised her gaze when moments past and she could see Solas rubbing his forehead, sweating, and grumbling agitatedly. He turned his gaze away from her before she could see the way he was fighting to regain control. _"I do not like this any more than you do."_ He confessed in bare whisper. 

“So then,” She began, licking her lips to find the voice, “So then why do you continue to follow me around like a lost child? I'm sure when Ellana wakes up – the first thing she'll do is look for you. In fact, I can already be picturing her prancing over to you with wide open arms.” Evelyn swore for a moment she saw a smile flash across the corner's of his cheeks at such a comment. 

It irked her to no end but at least she was out of harm's way. “So until then, there's absolutely no reason for you to be around me. It's suffocating and I hate it. Please just leave me be.”

The conversation should have ended there. 

Evelyn would have been okay with that.

They could have gone their separate ways but _no._

Not Solas. 

Solas always found a way to drag her right back into it.

“So leave then.” 

Evelyn felt her jaw clench at the remark. Her mouth twitched ever so slightly into a snarl.

“For your information Solas," She began waving her finger at him like a mother would do to a small babe. In Evelyn's eyes, Solas was really just a spoiled brat who lost his favorite toy.

"No Evelyn!" He interrupted as he always did, "It is you who endangers Ellana's well-being by being out!" 

_"Excuse me!_ _**Endanger?**_ " Her fist tighented, _"Are you kidding me?"_

“You're shivering Evelyn. _Shivering_ which can, by the way, lead to sickness. A mortal folly mind you.” He noted, and she looked positively aghast at his words.

“I'm not a child Solas like you Solas. I'm aware of my situation quite well.” She snipped, turning away from this madness. Evelyn couldn’t and wouldn't bare him any longer. Instead, she would explore the world beyond the gates. Inside of the would be a protective magical barrier that Solas had created a millenniums ago.

The people actually perceived it as some type of miracle-like phenomenon. The simple fact that they would not feel the arctic chill anymore but rather a warmth of a radiating hot sun above. The snow melting away – a truly hidden gem.

“Could have fooled me.” He mumbled and she felt herself pause for a moment but then shook her head.

He was not worth it. 

She must be patient like Ellana. “But then again what can I expect from someone so thuggish, simple, and crude. At least I know I was right about your people after all. Thank you, Trevelyan, for showing me the truth.” 

With deep breathe Evelyn turned around so quickly and delivered another swift right punch to his face. Solas stumbled a bit shaken but nevertheless this time around quickly recovered smirking. “How entirely expected.”

Evelyn resisted the urge to hit him a second time. There was already a gathering crowd of people eying them in the distance and it was not in her best interest for the people to think it was okay to sock out the _knife-ears,_ that were about in camp. Instead, Evelyn grabbed him by the arm and began to lead his stupid smug face elsewhere so they may talk amongst each other much more civilly. 

She was stopped when Cassandra called to her. Cassandra and the other council members were chatting amongst themselves. Mahanon naturally took place among them as well. Evelyn rolled eyes at the sight. Her first interaction with him wasn't the best. In fact, she found him to be placed in the annoying section where Vivienne and Solas fell into in the depths of her mind.

Solas was quick to detach himself from her before the other's eyes would wander. The two shared a mutual look of needing to talk again before Evelyn parted ways and approached Cassandra with a short greeting.

“Hello, Evelyn.”

“Cassandra. _Everyone_ \- how goes things?” Evelyn managed awkwardly. Thankfully no one paid mind. 

"Great actually," Cassandra began, a smile forming on lips, "We anticipate people will arrive daily from every settlement in the region. Soon Skyhold will become a pilgrimage.” Cassandra backed up and turned her head suggestively for Evelyn to follow behind. Mahanon close at her heel. “Words will eventually reach the Elder One. We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is far beyond what we anticipated. But we now know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you.”

“The Anchor,” Mahanon spoke up, turning over his right hand and gazing down at the Mark. 

“It's useless to him now.” Evelyn honestly told him. “Corypheus just wants us dead.” 

“The Anchor has power,” Cassandra said as she leads them up the stairwell. “But it's not why you're still standing here.” Evelyn scoffed so Cassandra turned to Mahanon instead. “Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination brought us out of Haven. Corypheus wants you dead because you two are his only obstacles – and you know it.” She finished while glaring at Evelyn. Evelyn sighed dejectedly.

“...I'll do my best,” Evelyn said earning a nod of appreciation. Mahanon gently grabbed hold of Evelyn's right shoulder nodding as well. 

_“We both will.”_

“Thank you – from all of us,” Cassandra told him as they rounded another corner to the second flight of stairs. “I wanted to tell you both that the Inquisition requires a leader. “ Evelyn halted, her gaze shifting to Mahanon with a brow raised. He smiled and shook his head. 

“It's alright. It should be the one who has already been leading us.” 

“But--”

“Mahanon who said anything about only one leader?” Cassandra interrupted, looking positively irritated that he was taking away this moment from her. The two of Heralds turned in Cassandra's direction with a question mark appears over their head. “Come on.” She told them leading them up to where Leliana was standing, a sword in both hands. 

When they approached Leliana knelt down and held the sword hilts out to them.

Below in the courtyard, a crowd was forming and Evelyn felt her mouth run dry. She – in all her life – never had seen so many people looking up at her with such hopefulness. 

This felt truly amazing and for a moment, Evelyn found herself to be biting lip to hold back the tears. 

Someone had actually wanted her to exist.

Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all. 

“I don't know what to say,” Mahanon said out loud. His voice was wavering a tad bit and this caused Evelyn to snap out of her thoughts. 

"You just said something." Evelyn snickered and Mahannon groaned in response.

Cassandra smirked.

“Say that you will not make me regret this.” 

“You regret us?” He questioned and Cassandra immediately flushed.

“N-no, I mean – this-this is what meant to be, the Inquisition would not be the same without you both!” Evelyn could hear Leliana's snickering. “Stop it!” Cassandra told Leliana flushing a deeper scarlet red.  
“You two are just so cute.” Leliana teased while lifting her head to get a good look at Cassandra's flustered state. “Josephine will get a kick out of this later.”

“You will tell her no such thing,” Cassandra grumbled before looking back at the two Inquisitors angrily. “Now hurry and take your swords before I change my mind!” 

The two Inquisitors nodded quickly to avoid Cassandra's wrath and did what they were told. Both Mahanon and Evelyn held their blades into the air. Mahanon gave a rallying cry for the Elves. Evelyn, on the other hand, found herself faltering completely. 

What was someone like her - a coward - who had wanted to run away supposed to say to an eye-appealing crowd such as this? Her thoughts were lost when Mahanon bumped her left arm with his elbow. 

“Hey you should say something too.” He called, “The people are waiting.” Evelyn shook her head, then nodded in compliance whilst trying to calm shaky breath.

“C-Corypheus will fall! Long live the Inquisition!” She yelled, and an eruption of cheers followed through.

“See that wasn't hard.” Mahanon told her, and she cracked a half smile. 

If only he knew the truth.

 _Andraste's ass._

She needed to go see Solas again.

XXX

She found him – painting in the Rotunda of all places. She assumed he was trying settle in considering his quarters were no longer his to call home anymore. 

Quite the painter though. Evelyn thought to marvel at one side of the wall. It was already done and she found herself staring until just looking at it began to make her feel sick to her stomach.

She shouldn't care what the Wolf did with Ellana. She shouldn't – but knowing Ellana's feelings towards him and then having to look at the reflection of his work. 

Something inside her snapped. 

Why even now after everything was he still painting himself as the Dread Wolf?

Did their lovemaking mean nothing after all?

Evelyn swallowed roughly as she resisted the urge to kick the side of his stand that would send him and his paint buckets to the floor. 

“So what do I owe the pleasure of your presence again dear Herald?” Solas questioned, and Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest. 

“It's Inquisitor now.” She informed him smoothly. “It would be wise for you to respect that Wolf.”

She heard him grumble as she watched him drop the paintbrush into the bucket before turning to face her with irritation in his eyes.

Irritation – how odd...Considering his paintings. 

At least she had his attention now.

“About before –“ She paused watching him recall their previous encounter, “I do not need you to be fretting over me. I can handle myself quite alright. Really if there is anyone should be concerned with, it's Ellana. She's the one that endangers this body by so boldly rushing blinding into one and one battles.”

“Ellana has that luxury, Inquisitor.” He snipped. “It is because she is immortal. A feature you do not share. How most unfortunate for you.”

Evelyn groaned. His eyes were laughing and it was a most demeaning feeling to have weighed upon her. Evelyn had wanted to turn tail and leave but she had to set the facts straight.

“Immortality can't fix stupid.” She quipped back. “Especially with the way Ellana is acting now.”

There was a blink of confusion and Evelyn took this momentum to her advantage. “Can you believe that she won't listen to me Solas? Despite what you might think of me – I've honestly tried! I can't actively reach out to her. You should know more than anyone that the other half doesn't come out willingly. If anything there has to be some sort of outside stimuli that imposes on one's mind. Stress for most cases seems to be the trigger for Evelyn and I. The same can be said for you apparently considering _earlier_.”

“And what would you have me do? Become the--” 

“No!”Evelyn interrupted, brows furrowed. “Not that. No one wants that.”

“Then what would you have me do Evelyn?” 

A trail of sweat rolled down her face and she looked at him with a lost expression. She was no leader, she couldn't order anyone around! For even she didn't know the answer – she wouldn't be here – if she knew. With a heavy swallow, Evelyn racked her brain for some type of response. Anything to keep the conversation flowing. 

“Are you not Ellana's lover?” She watched as his face grew red.

 _“E-Excuse me?”_ His voice hit a high mark and she felt herself flush when trying to locate the word.

“Venom or whatever–“ 

_**“Vhenan.”**_ He corrected with a cough, and Evelyn nodded, sweating all the more.

Such an uncomfortable conversation!

“If anyone can convince her – its got to be you - _So-Solas._ Do you have any idea what happened when Ellana went face to face against Corypheus? She was a complete and utter wreck without you! In fact, I was pulled into it because of she too busy losing her mind to focus on the true obstacle at hand. So you know what Solas – you should honestly be thanking me! Not her.” 

“What do you mean? The two of you escaped Corypheus.”

 _ **“Barely.”**_ Evelyn stressed. “Ellana doesn't even know how to handle my body for one. Hell, she practically reverted back to the mind-frame of the Ellana who used to be mortal.”

“Impossible. How can that be? Ellana is incredible.” Evelyn slapped her forehead at such a statement. 

How could someone who spends so much time with Ellana not know of her problems?

“Well for one S-Solas – Ellana constantly losses herself to hallucinations – seeing things like ghosts – images that aren't even there. Shes still living in the past and _that_ needs to be changed. It has become a real problem as I'm forced to come out whenever she's stuck in that mind-frame. _Me,_ Solas, the mortal one.”

“I'm quite aware of your flaws Inquisitor.” He tells her, and now Evelyn wishes she never came to see him. Yet within this conversation, she learns that her other half clearly fits with Solas. Both clearly ignorant of their partner's ailments. 

What bothers Evelyn more that this man is the supposed Dread Wolf. The one who played mastermind to the falling descent of Ellana's previous world. 

Unnerving at best. 

“Ok great Solas - but guess who doesn't get it – “ 

“Ellana,” He intervenes and shes left lost for words. 

So the pup could learn some new tricks after all. “But why would she feel--”

“I don't know Solas. For some reason, Ellana truly believes that if her embodied spirit takes form over mine that somehow she'll miraculously lose her immortality.“

“Impossible. Not remotely possible. Ellana's body is stuck in that future.”

“Exactly, something you and I both know. So please, please do me this favor Solas and please talk to Ellana. Tell her to stop so she can move on from this. It's really annoying and tiring!"

Evelyn sighed, shaking her head. 

Why oh why did she get stuck with someone so useless as Ellana? 

“Alright – I'll talk to her. I'll make sure she knows Inquisitor.” 

Evelyn grimaced at the title.

“Evelyn will do Solas. Just stop making things so difficult. It's mortifying.”

He laughs and Evelyn finds herself blushing. 

“Forgive me then, Evelyn, I, myself, have also suspected Ellana to have had experienced a great deal of trauma but I never thought she would be fretting over something as silly as this. You have my thanks.” 

Evelyn shrugged her shoulders. 

“As long as I can get some peace and quiet.” They both nodded, and Evelyn decided she would go on her away but was stopped when Solas called out to her so sudden urgency. She glanced back, brow arching up in confusion. “What now?”

“Aren't you forgetting something?” He questioned.

“Forgetting what?” Solas rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“How am I supposed to go about speaking with Ellana while you're still around? If you wanted me to speak with her - this is the perfect opportunity to talk – while the others are distracted.”

Evelyn felt a vein throb in the back her head. Within seconds she spun back around glared at him hotly.

“I just told you that I can't actively push her out - are you thick in the head or what _Wolf_?"

"Ugh back to that again are we?" He grumbles and she gives him a withering glare. Surprisingly he jumps down from his stand and approaches her cautiously. "I would hope you to have more faith in me in the future. I actually have an idea on how to make Ellana return."

Evelyn feels her heart pitter-patter with excitement to such a claim.

"Really?" She asks, smiling brightly. To be told that there was a way she could go back to her safe haven was an eye-opening ordeal.

Well, she could do without him grabbing hold of her shirt. "And what could that possibly --"

Her words were lost when his lips collided with her own.

_That fucking idiot._

She was going to kill him.

_Andraste's ass._

When they broke the kiss, Evelyn was quick to deliver a fierce slap to face. 

Solas, on the other hand, looked stunned and she found herself grabbing a hold of his garb now and screaming into his face.

 _ **"Things aren't the same Wolf!"**_ "I don't love you. A kiss with me won't bring back Ellana. If anything a kiss with me will make both of us feel more bitter with one another don't you agree?"

Solas gaze went elsewhere and she tsked, before throwing him down on the ground. "I thought you were the _**Dread Wolf**_ but every time I bump into you-you grow more and more spineless than the last."

"That's because I'm not him." He bit out. 

"Could have fooled me." She quipped, standing over him while wiping away bitter taste from the mouth. "Kissing every woman that walks into his line of sight. Isn't that something the Dread Wolf would do?"

"...I was just trying to bring her back." Evelyn rubbed the bridge of her nose. She knew that was his goal but he should have known that it required a mutual affection of love to make the spell work. 

He should have known from their interactions with the other Wolf in Ellana's world. _"I love her."_

"You're a complete and utter fool Solas." Evelyn told him as she finally spun away from him, leaving him to ponder in his thoughts as she continued to curse Ellana's poor judgment. 

Ellana should have never left.

This was a mistake.

A complete and utter mistake.

And if that was the case, _why_ , just why in the world was she crying too?


	34. To Judge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You cannot avoid making judgments but you can become more conscious of the way you make them. This is critically important because once we judge someone or something we tend to stop thinking about them or it." -Neil Postman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to fix some minor errors I found.

Mind boggling, everything was just mind-boggling.

What did all this shit mean anyways? 

“Is everything alright Inquisitor, you look quite pale?” Josephine asked as Evelyn looked over the clipboard Josephine had presented her with. Evelyn managed a nod but still flicked through the paperwork with uncertainty. 

Apparently with new job title came new chores along with it. One of them was currently being explained to her – the responsibility of issuing final judgments of those who wronged the Inquisition. “Impressive, is it not?” Josephine asked, leaning close in a bare whisper. “Fit for a leader. Meant to show influence – and the burden of it.” 

Evelyn paused, holding one paper in her right hand still as her eyes traveled up away from the pad and over to the chair which was currently being occupied by a well deserving another. 

Mahanon. “It is where the Inquisition will sit in judgment. Where _you_ will sit in Judgment.” 

“Just who will I be judging, exactly?” Evelyn asked arching a brow at the sight of Mahanon leaning casually back in the chair, hands folded whilst getting a feel for it as he grinned mischievously away. 

“Those who have done wrong. You will know _of_ them, at the very least. All this presumes they have survived their initial encounters with you, of course.”

“Is it possible to judge Solas?” She joked silently earning tilting confusion from Josephine. Evelyn simply responded by raising left hand and waving such suggestions off. “Kidding, kidding of course.” 

Before Josephine could comment on the subject a bundle of guards entered the room carrying what seemed to be an Avvar of some sort. 

“Is this the one who had hand in beckoning my call?” Mahanon questioned in a somewhat hardened tone. His attempts to seem regal was quite a humorous sight at best. 

“Actually this one was quite a surprise,” Josephine responded while quickly snatching notepad from Evelyn's hand. Evelyn made a surprised gasp – she was reading that. “After you returned from the bogs, we discovered this man was attacking. The building. With a _Goat_.” 

An image of a goat being thrown into Skyhold came into mind and Evelyn felt her lips part into a wry smile. Mahanon, who Evelyn figured now to be in a fit laughter actually did the exact opposite and merely leaned further back into his chair humming. 

It was an obvious act. Evelyn thought as a trail of sweat dripping down her face. He was trying so had to keep his composure. 

Much respect. Evelyn would not have been able to contain herself. She doubted anyone could. In fact, she found herself looking at Josephine who held a confirming bite to the lip display. 

“Josephine?” Evelyn inquired, with a sly smile.

“Don't look at me.” Josephine managed. “I did not throw...The goat.”

The Avvar in question groaned at the insistent chatter and Mahanon took notice silencing the two by raising a right hand up. He then proceeded to raise left hand out to the Avvar to allow the Avvar to give way for speech. The Avvar laughed at such a gesture. 

“My name is Moran the Under, Chieftain of the Avvar. It was not our intent to bring hostility. It was my son who got feisty with your inquisition. He was meant to murder Tevinters. A redheaded mother guarantees a brat.”

“Excused me!” Evelyn snapped, drawing attention. “How does that guarantee anything! Maybe it's your fault for not overseeing him better!”

“Evelyn, can't you wait your turn?” Mahanon grumbled, rubbing forehead at the sudden outburst. 

Evelyn crossed her arms, looking away with cheeks puffed out in pure annoyance. One might say she looked like a blow-fish. Mahanon laughed it off and turned back to the Chieftain who had looked positively aghast. “Please continue.”

Moran nodded and proceeded to explain the situation further. He wasn't about to go out of his way to continue attacking the Inquisition. His men had better things to do than fight a losing fight. 

“Do as you've earned Inquisitor. My clan yields.” 

“Sentence them to death.” Evelyn spoke up, “Redhead's aren't the problem. _They are._ ” Mahanon rolled his eyes.

“Chief Moan – you are _extremely_ lucky that I am the one in charge at the very moment,” Mahanon stressed while staring dead at Evelyn. “I have decided to give you a bit of mercy per say. This was at best an accidental occurrence. You and your clan are banished –with as many weapons as you can carry – to Tevinter.”

“ _What_!” Evelyn cried out as she stepped forward towards Mahanon, “You can't be serious – He attacked us – attacked Skyhold and your giving him weapons!” Mahanon simply chose to ignore her and her outburst.

“That is my final decision.” He stated as he ordered guards to take the Avvar Chieftain away. 

Moran let out a large laugh.

“My idiot boy got us something after all!” 

And so the Avvar in question was lead away despite Evelyn's deepening glare of disapproval. When the guards and people had scattered – Mahanon rose from his seat and broached Evelyn with an intensifying scowl.

“Must you be so crude, Evelyn?”

“ _Crude_ – Did you not hear what he said about me?”  
“It wasn't about you – _Evelyn_ – Stop taking everything so personally – It was just a generalization.”

“A _wrong_ generalization at that.” Evelyn snapped, conjuring flame to right hand.

“Even so— _Will you put that out!_ ” Mahanon snapped as he grabbed hold of that very hand – canceling out her floating flame, “Fenedhis Evelyn, you are supposed to be a leader now! Start acting like one would you!”

Evelyn huffed. “Look, Evelyn, I'm not a deity or anything – I'm just trying to make this world a better place to live in. If anyone should be frustrated it ought to be me.”

“Oh come off, you love the attention. You're practically basking in it.”

“Not by choice. I was thrown into this role just like you and you know it. The differences in between the both of us are that I've chosen not to become another angry voice in the crowd.”

“Oh am I some kind of unwelcome guest now? Is it so wrong to oppose those who have wronged me?”

“All I'm saying is – do not let your emotions sway your judgment. You must do what is best for the people. Even if it conflicts your own agenda.”

“That's rich coming from the Elf who sent my squadron into battle without a healer.” She countered, and Mahanon staggered.

“I--should you even know about that? I didn't think you'd be able to recall that.” He replied, earning a rare laugh.

“Jokes on you then – I can indeed remember everything – well, that is, everything except after the kiss. When Ellana takes form – I lose connection with the outside world. She is her own entity – I'm well aware of everything she does until then.”

Mahanon placed the hand on chin and rubbed it in deep thought.

“Ah, so that's how it is.”

“Yeah exactly,” Evelyn commented placing hands on waist, “So what do you have to say about yourself now?”

“Is it the same the other way around?” He asked suddenly catching her off guard. Evelyn dropped stance and blinked at such a statement.

“What do you mean?”

“Can Ellana see all of this?” He pointed at the two of them, and even Josephine who was staring blankly at them like they were speaking in riddles. Evelyn's mouth opened for a moment and then shut. A moment passed as a bundle of sweat rolled down her forehead. 

She had never thought of that!

Could Ellana see everything? 

Evelyn looked down at her hands trembling. 

There was just no way. 

She was the host.

“I'll take your profound silence as a yes.”

“Hey- _wait_ \--” Evelyn snapped out, with exasperated breath. “Even I don't know the answer to _that_!”

Evelyn swallowed roughly at the would be implications.

“Well if that is indeed the case, perhaps it would be in your best interest to be aware of that possibility from now on. Besides your actions can equally alter or diminish all of _Ellana's_ hard work up from this point on. Think about it – you are the key turning point in making sure her past doesn't become our reality. You _must_ for our sake and as well as _Solas's._ ” 

“Excuse me Mahanon what's all this talk about? Whose exactly is this Ellana person, if you don't mind me asking?” Mahanon turned to Josephine and let out a hesitant laugh. Her brow arched. “Should I go get the others?”

“No no, no it's not that serious Josephine. Ellana is...Well, Ellana is...”

“One of Solas's Spirit friends.” Evelyn quickly cuts in. She had finally managed to shake off Mahanon's stunning words. “Well more than Solas's friends perhaps...”

“What? What exactly does _that_ mean? Should I even be asking this? _Why in Maker's name am I asking you this?_ ”

“It's alright Josephine. Breathe.” Mahanon told her whilst laughing on the side. Josephine seemed to be turning green. “Just know this is why Evelyn's been so crabby lately. Jealous of Solas's new fling.”

“I'm not jealous,” Evelyn muttered out, crossing her arms over the chest. That statement was quickly rebutted when Mahanon's arm wedged into her side. His glare bleeding hidden message.“Ah I mean, Yes! I'm positively pissed off! That beast! That _**damned**_ wolf! May as well be called the _Dread Wolf_ while we're at it! Ha ha ha!”

Mahanon was now was slapping forehead during this proclamation but luckily for the both of them – Josephine was pulled right into it. 

“Ah, so that explains the crabbiness...But why did you say take form?”

“Ah did I say that –haha –what I meant was whenever she appears...Is when I forget. This spirit has some sort of ability that will cause me to forget everything when she kisses Solas. Even I don't even know why that is. Magic is a very strange thing, Josephine. Crazy at best.” Evelyn joked, at the point, she was considering just confessing the truth. 

“This all does sound a tad bit crazy.” Josephine managed as she tried to swallow the bizarre explanation they were currently feeding her. 

“Which is exactly why I must handle the next judgment, Josephine. You see – Evelyn's not feeling too well at the moment. Her head is not really in the best places considering being outdone by an _Spirit_ of all things.” 

“Bullshit. I can handle it.” Evelyn cut in, “I am perfectly capable. That's why I was given this role.”

“But, if your feeling unwell—”

“I'm fine Josephine.” Evelyn gritted out. 

Evelyn was going to have the biggest headache after this conversation. 

Just thinking the thought alone of being jealous of Ellana's relationship with Solas again. First, the wolf tried to pin it on her now her so-called friends too. 

Ugh – Evelyn couldn't and wouldn't delve into such things. “If anything, I'm just feeling a bit skittish at best. In truth I'm not much of a leader but – if I continue to pull away from my responsibilities when called then why did I bother on taking on such roles? I must correct my mistake before the people look at me differently.”

Josephine shook her head.

“Some people already do perceive you differently.” She confessed. “From what I have read in my reports – some people already consider you to be a tyrant or some sorts. Let's not forget about that incident in Haven. The Templar you slew.”

“He had it coming.” Evelyn snipped. She lifted her left hand up displaying her mark. “Templars always think of themselves as the high-and-mighty. With this, I finally put them back into place.”

“Which is exactly why you shouldn't be here.” Mahanon pressed, “The person you are judging is an _Templar._. Do you honestly think you can handle this? Without getting emotionally entangled – at that.”

“Templar, mage, it doesn't matter. I will make an effort to prove to you both that I am capable. There will be no nonsensical violence.” Evelyn replied with smug expression when Mahanon shook his head in disbelief that Josephine was going to let Evelyn take charge. “Relax Mahanon, I am the Inquisitor after all.” With this, she pushed past him and made way for her throne. Evelyn sat down and took in one last unsteady breathe before clapping her hands together. 

“Bring on the next judgment.”

Josephine bowed.

“At once Inquisitor.”  
When Josephine took leave to summon the crowd back inside, Evelyn glanced towards her Elven rival expecting angry face. Instead, Mahanon beamed towards her and it was in that moment she realized that he had tricked her into accepting the role of leadership. 

Sneaky rogue. 

Evelyn's eyes narrowed considerably. 

She had been played!

Her mana spiked considerably.

“Ah, ah, ah. The people are coming to Evelyn. Don't let your emotions get the best of you.”

His words caused her to still, and her mana split away as right hand relaxed over armchair's handle.

Thankfully Josephine pushed open the doors and with it, people flooded the room. No sooner than that did two guards appear – dragging a chained Templar over to her. He stood ahead of her, just down a couple stairs, and laughed upon sight.

She recognized him almost instantly.

A man from past.

A Templar who once served in the very circle she fled from.

She found herself rising, magic churning, only to once again pause before sitting back down and swallowing roughly when she caught sight of Cullen rounding the Templar and standing off to far right side.

“This is Knight-Captain Denam, Inquisitor. He awaits judgment for serving the Lord Seeker at Therinfal Redoubt.”

Ah, so this was not about her past after all.

Mahanon's scolding came to mind. 

_Don't take everything so personally!_

He was right. 

She had been a fool.

“Inquisitor –” Cullen called, bringing attention back to the moment at hand. “Leliana sent in a team of spies in which they have reported on discovering a disarraying sight of fallen Templar's brought on by _Red Lyrium poisoning.”_

There were a gasp and some hushed whispering about in the crowd. 

Yes, Lyrium was always a sensitive topic.

Evelyn wasn't proud of the fact that was a Circle Mage. But at the same time – just by being one – Evelyn learned more than her past princess lifestyle could ever offer her.

With her imprisonment, Evelyn became very self-aware of the process in which just how Templars were being indoctrinated in the first place. 

A slip of a needle to the arm and the growing addiction that followed. The Chantry undoubtedly played a hand to control the Lyrium Trade. 

“Cullen,” Evelyn breathed out as she glanced in his direction. “I am aware that you are a former Knight-Captain, are you sure your presence here will not cause some sort of bias? Perhaps you should sit this one out.”

Cullen bowed but shook his head. 

“Forgive me, Inquisitor. I know it is not my place – but I knew some of the knights who died there. So please allow me to oversee Denam's sentencing.”

Evelyn waited a moment to appear as if she was honestly considering such a request. 

“Very well, you may stay Cullen.” Cullen uttered a thank you and she tilted her head, smiling – to her surprise a redden flush of embarrassment appeared on his face. 

“D-Denam knew the dangers of Red Lyrium I-Inquisitor,” Cullen began sputtering suddenly, he shook his head once more to get his bearings together. “Denam murdered the Knight-Vigilant and corrupted his brothers and sisters in arms.” 

“A grave crime indeed.” Evelyn agreed loosely, “I hope the Knight-Captain is lucid enough to understand what he's done.” 

“I was tricked by the Envy demon!” Denam cried out. “I was trying to follow orders! What would you – an _Circle Mage_ know about following orders?”

Evelyn felt her left hand tighten around arm-chair. She could sense herself tensing at such a statement. “Shouldn't you be locked up tight somewhere? In that special room of _**ours.**_ ” 

If only there weren't so many people in the room. 

If only he was just a tad bit closer.

Evelyn would have gladly had grabbed hold of him and burned him alive where he stood. 

His screams would echo the ones he had inflicted on her over time and time again.

Mahanon let out a cough and Evelyn felt her jaw lock. 

“Knowingly or not.” Evelyn gritted out – choosing to ignore Denam's taunts, “You condemned your brothers and sisters to death.”

“Inquisitor – Leliana's people found _everything._ The corpse of the Knight-Vigilant _and_ even _papers_ proving Denam was aware the Lyrium was poisoned.” 

Denam took a step forward only to be jerked back by his guards. Denam shook his head.

“There is a greater power walking in this world! I wasn't fooled enough to deny it. None of you would have--”

“That's where your wrong Denam.” Evelyn snapped. “ _I_ would have denied it as I always have denied what was wrong with this world. The Circle was a prime example. So perhaps maybe it is _you_ who should be locked up tight and stripped of everything you hold dear. The world doesn't need cowards. The world needs the Inquisition.” 

“But I—I demand Justice! You weren't there! You wouldn't know!” Denam cried out. Evelyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, relaxing tensed form. 

“You're right. I didn't suffer at your hands that day. Those who suffered were the knights in the Templar Order.”

“Finally something we agree on.” He responded smiling sickly and returned such gestures with own devilish grin.

“Yes – so in respect to that I will allow the remaining. Templars judge the man who failed him. That is my final judgment. Peace be with you.” 

“P-p-peace?” He exclaimed while eyes searching the room to find – and finally found Mahanon.“Please have mercy, unlike this she-devil! The penalty will be death!” 

Mahanon simply shrugged.

“The Inquisitor has spoken.”

Denam paled considerably and eventually was dragged away – kicking and screaming to boot.

When the room cleared, Evelyn was met with a series of applaud. 

Her companions had apparently joined in for the second judgment this time around. They had been watching overhead in the balcony in which Vivienne had proclaimed to be her, “quarters.” 

Speaking of Vivienne she was missing – that was until Evelyn caught a glimpse sight of retreating figure. Vivienne must have been insulted. Especially when Evelyn blamed the Circles for fault in the world. 

Evelyn sighed knowing she would have to try to repair the cracks made – for Ellana's sake. Even if Evelyn personally didn't care much to. A peace offering of some sorts. 

It was good however to see Varric on his feet again. A most welcoming sight, but then seeing the person beside him soured that feeling immediately. Solas of all people. Evelyn almost gagged when he was beaming down at her. 

Did he believe that Ellana was back?

Oh, Maker. 

She would have to avoid him at all costs. She did not want to repeat past events.

Either way, she wasn't expecting Sera of all people to jump down – hell none of them were – everyone all had a sort of frightful expression on face as she did. 

Even Vivienne who had been back-turned whirled around and ran towards balcony to peer over. 

One might have thought she fell and needed dire aid – but _no_ – Not Sera – the woman willingly jumped over the side and was now laughing ignorantly to herself. 

In fact from that height alone even Evelyn found herself to be marveling. The female rogue of the squad was much more proficient than initial credit.

“You done with it then?” Sera asked so suddenly that Evelyn found herself stunned in a blank expression. “Well are you or are you not?”

“I guess?” Evelyn managed, and Sera nodded grabbing hold of a left arm and dragging her away.

“Good cause I got a location for a stash. Hopefully something nice for my trouble.” Sera paused as they were halfway out the door. “Well, your trouble.” She corrected, smiling ever so brightly. 

Evelyn sputtered – there were so many other things she had wanted to do.

Talk to Mahanon being one of them. 

Evelyn was dying to rub in how awesome she handled that last judgment. So responsible and adult-like.  
A true leader.

It really was just so mind-boggling.

Inquisitor.

Evelyn still couldn't wrap her head around it – and she wouldn't if she didn't take a stand now. 

“Wait, Sera stop. I take it back. I take it back.” She told Sera, jerking her to a stop. “I actually need to do some talking around first but – I will meet up with you again – I promise.” 

Sera rolled her eyes.

“Alright then just let me know when you're ready. I'll be in the tavern. Well not so much a tavern now, but I heard that's what they're building...Just know I'll be around there.”

“Got it.”  
The two went their separate ways and Evelyn went back inside. She saw Varric speaking privately to Mahanon and deiced to intervene. 

“Varric – feeling better?” 

“Boss – and here I thought Buttercup had kidnapped you!”

“ _Boss?_ You gave her a nickname and not me?” Mahanon whined, and Varric shrugged.

“Don't give me that Mahanon – I just haven't gotten to know you very well. I'm sure well think of something.”

“Could call him – _Buttercup_ too.” 

“I'll pretend I didn't hear that.” Varric replied, “I was actually hoping to speak with you – when you had the chance but you keep disappearing all the time.”

“Why is something the matter? Old wound open up? Do I _have_ to get Solas?”

“Heavens no. The day I can successfully avoid Chuckles. Is the day we might actually save the world.”

“It seems we're in agreement there.” She responded, earning a nod of approval from Mahanon. Varric looked at Inquisitors with bewilderment.

“What? I thought the two of you were all cheeky now Evelyn?” Evelyn shrugged.

“That was then and this is now Varric.”

“Ooh, a squabble then?” Varric asked while pulling feather pen from a pocket. “Mind filling me in on all the juicy details – just so you know this stuff is imperative to my upcoming story I plan on writing if we actually manage to survive this shit. Wouldn't want anything to happen to _your favorite storyteller_ – would you?”

“Oh, I wasn't aware you wrote good literature Varric. Please indulge me.” A new voice appeared and they all turned to see Dorian standing in the hall, grinning handsomely.

“Oh no, not you Sparkler.”

“Oh _yes_ – I'll have you know I am just wondering at parties. In fact, one might say I'm,” He paused as he made his way over to the group. He stopped before Evelyn and reached out to grab left hand – where anchor glows – and pressed lips to hand. “A real charmer.”

“I'll say,” Evelyn replied, cheeks warming as she looked over Dorian with fluttering beats.

“Careful Dorian, Solas might burn holes into that dress of yours.” Iron Bull commented from behind with loud laugh. 

“It's actually called a robe.” Dorian snipped back. “Besides, I know my limitations.”

“Not nearly enough considering your still holding her hand.” Solas grit out.

“Ah,” Dorian replied feeling dumbfounded. He went to pull away but Evelyn pulled his hand back, pulling him to her. 

“You really don't have to go you know Dorian. I wouldn't mind having such contact overnight.”

“Dirty!” Iron Bull added with a grin and Dorian sputtered. 

“Ah what?” 

Varric laughed at Dorian's clear confusion and Solas's angry reaction. Mahanon, on the other hand, was now trying to defuse the situation. 

Especially now knowing that Solas was the Dread Wolf – Mahanon just couldn't afford another war on his hands. Corypheus first – then worry about the possible wolf. Right now they needed all the help they could get with Ellana gone.

“Better watch out Sparkler – their fighting and you're about to become the _wedge._ ”

“Oh – no no no,” Dorian replied as he danced away from Evelyn's grip. “That's not at all what I want.” He now turns to Solas. “You know I would never – considering – and I don't fancy that type of wine.”

“Wine?” Evelyn questioned, blinking and looked to Mahanon for guidance. His right index finger now tapping gently to lips. It took a moment but realization dawned and Evelyn's face blanched too. 

Just her luck. 

All the handsome ones.

“I would have never suspected,” Mahanon confessed.

 _“Yes,”_ Dorian drew out. “My footsies are still freezing, thank you very much.” Mahanon scratched the back of his head, laughing. 

“You know Dorian, I can help you with that.” Iron Bull commented and Dorian arched a brow. 

“You're not bothered that I'm a Vint, Iron Bull?”

“Is that what you are?” Iron Bull asks, squinting a bit, “You people kind of look the same to me.”

A laugh ensues from Varric and Iron Bull huffs. “Except maybe you Varric.”

“Oh come on Tiny! I make up at least seventy percent of this party. Twenty percent to Inquisitors and Ten percent to Solas for being that guy no one likes.” Solas groans and Evelyn finds herself smiling at the banter that’s unraveling before her very eyes. 

“Oh, and pry tell where does that leave the rest of us?” Vivienne asked. She was hunched over the balcony, hands folded looking particularly annoyed.  


“Background drops but of course dear Iron Lady. I thought someone of your stature would know where you'd be...”

“Dorian if you don't mind me asking?” Mahanon interjected as Vivienne's glare intensified. “Why are you so flirty with Evelyn then and not to mention _Cass_? If you know...”

“Well Mahanon, one must keep up appearances – after all –”He paused, shifting towards Solas ever so slightly. “Appearances can be deceiving.”

Solas crossed his arms and scowled. His brows in particularly furrowed and before Solas could make his dashing leave – Mahanon quickly moved over to Solas and wrapped his right arm around Solas's neck laughing.“Let's all celebrate our new home with some alcohol! Nothing says don't kill each other like a nice cup of brew.”

“ _No.”_ Solas quickly cut in.

“Oh come on Solas! You can't be a stick in the mud 24/7. Sometimes a brew can really knock you off your feet.” Bull commented.

“I don't drink,” Solas responded stiffly.

“All the more reason!” Dorian added making way to help Mahanon subtlety drag Solas out. “Nothing heals a broken heart like a good cup of brew.”

“Nothings broken through.” Solas quipped. “Just a minor annoying setback at best.”

“I can _still_ hear you-you know.” Evelyn gritted out – and Solas glanced back towards her grinning.

“I'm quite aware.”

“My my and to think I left Bastien for this,” Vivienne commented from above. “Whatever should I do.”

“No one asked you to stay Enchanter.” Solas replied.

“Well, that's where your wrong dear Solas. If I remember correctly it was _your_ dear sweet Evelyn that offered me a place to stay.”

Solas grumbled incoherently and Vivienne raised left hand to mouth laughing. “Yes, I figured you'd like that one.” 

“Hey Viv' – come join us for drinks!” Iron Bull called and Vivienne rolled her eyes at the Qunari.

“Yes, let us all drink at the Tavern that hasn't even been built yet – a wonderfully, stupid idea. How can I possibly say no?”

“Esh, forget you then.” Iron Bull said as Dorian, Mahanon, and Solas exited the room despite Solas's clear protests. He was practically being dragged out by Mahanon at this point. “Varric, Boss, are you two coming as well? Still got to celebrate that Dragon victory you know.” Iron Bull asked pausing.

“No, go on without us Tiny. I actually have something important to discuss with the Boss lady here.” Iron Bull shrugged.

“Try not to stay away too long though. I got a barrel with your name on it.”

When Bull left, Varric pointed to a room in the far corner. It leads up to some stairs and then to the most beautiful room ever. Compared to ever undone room in this castle, this one was practically glowing. Seemingly left untouched. 

“You know the council is still trying to figure out which Inquisitor gets dibs on this room. I have a feeling you're going to have your hands full trying to pry this away from Cassandra's hands.”

“She and Mahanon can have it,” Evelyn said. “Solas and I won't be using it any time soon I assure you.”

“But if you do manage to get back together? What then boss?” Evelyn made a pfft noise.

“I guess we'll just have to figure it out when we get to that hurdle won't we.” 

“Damn boss. Solas must have really pissed you off. Care to explain? Off record of course.”

Evelyn deliberated such an offer before finally, she settled on avoiding it all together.

“I thought you needed to talk to me about something private Varric. Had I known instead that you were going to dip into my personal affairs – I would have much more preferred to spend the day with Sera.”

“Ouch – no need to get testy Boss.”

“I'm not being testy Varric.” Evelyn snipped. “I'm simply guarding myself against getting hurt again.”

“Right – right – _sorry._ ”

“It's alright – so what is it that you need to tell me?” Varric took his right hand and massaged his left shoulder. 

“Well, it's more like I need you to meet someone more than anything.”

 _“Meet someone?”_ She echoed.

“Let's just say all those letters I sent out. They've finally done me some good.” 

Varric was grinning, and with some shifting through Ellana's memories and previous encounters – it finally clicked.

“You mean the Champ– ”

“Shh!” Varric interrupted. “You never know who could be listening in.”  


“I don't understand, why not ask Mahanon to meet her instead?”

“Are you kidding me, Boss? You want me to ask the _Seeker's Keeper_ to come meet _my dearest friend_?”

A wry smile appeared on Evelyn's face.

“Point taken. Cassandra would kill you.”

“ _Will_ kill me you mean.” Varric replied as a bead of sweat rolled down his face. 

“Nonsense Varric,” Evelyn told him, patting back. “She would have to go through me first.”

“This is why I like you, Boss. I didn't even have to offer you money.”

“Oh is there money involved?” Evelyn asked, and Varric laughed.

“Very funny Boss.” He commented and Evelyn shrugged.

“I'm sorry, what's the joke, I'm not laughing?” There was a pause, Varric looked up Evelyn and she looked up at him grinning mischievously. Varric groaned, shaking his head.

“Boss please, Sparkler already cleaned me out in our card games earlier.”

“Oh but I'm sure there's something we can find to agree on Varric. Oh, I know... _Swords and Shields_ was it?”

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thanks for the messages and sorry that I have some errors. I'm actually trying to get Liliana out of my system. It's a bad excuse but I play MTG a lot and Liliana Vess is the love of my life. So I always go for that instead of the right version. Sorry, I know it is stupid.
> 
> But I will admit to having trouble with then and than as well as your and you're. I really hate those so much. I also have been using a spelling app to help me so hoping this makes it better to read. It keeps wanting to auto correct Solas's name so I keep having to go back and say no. noooooooooooooooooo no his name is fine NOOOOOOOO. lol 
> 
> Yeah so hope you like it. Slow chapter but slowly getting there. Hawke for sure next chapter. Take care. Thanks again for sticking around.


	35. The Champion of Kirkwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." - Winston Churchill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain tag has been added to reflect this chapter. Don't look up unless you want to spoil it!
> 
> Also, I went back and edited all chapters took me 2 hours or so but I fixed the errors I made with Leliana's name and such.  
> I also fixed my fan-fiction.net version as well considering that one is my rough draft and looked super sloppy. I hope the fixes will be appreciated!
> 
> Edit 2: 4/22/18 - Updated some errors in this chapter and added more talking.

Meeting the Champion of Kirkwall of all people was an immense honor in Evelyn's eyes. She owed a great deal to the Champion after her deeds in Kirkwall. Her stories branched out and reached the highest of towers. It was through Hawke's actions that lead other mages to rebel against those who held them down. Word spread of a lone rogue who sought to end the tyranny that was known as Meredith Stannard and the Circle which she stood so proudly by. It was amazing to hear of her feats. Her triumph over the rampaging Qunari threat. Hawke was an idol and Evelyn owed her such a great deal. 

When Varric pushed Evelyn up the stairs after a bundle of hesitating sputtering on her end, Evelyn slowly approached the designated lookout point with glee. There standing back-faced but ever glowing from the sun's rays - a silhouette of the very woman Evelyn envied. It was a true turning point especially the way the Champion turned to respond to own name called. Everything was a slow-motion blur. Red apple lips, green glossy eyes, and skin so pale but fair one might think at first glance she too was a princess. Her clothing screamed that she was a fighter of some sorts however and as Evelyn got closer she noticed a painted red line bridged over Hawke's nose. The champion was no princess. Just a worn-torn beauty on a mission and she was as ever hypnotizing as they said. Evelyn just could not get the sight out of mind after seeing it. Especially when the Champion sported a raven black hairstyle - Evelyn's favorite color - mind you. Hawke's hair was long too but not overtly so - not like her own scarlet braided locks that dripped past her shoulders and down her back. 

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall.” Varric's voice came from beside stating the obvious. Still, voice caught throat and Evelyn wondered if she would trip falling down the stairs from all the gawking.

After all this wasn't just some nobody! This was her – her _idol_ – the woman Evelyn looked to for support and escape. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. A true full-fledged hero. 

“Though I don't use that title anymore,” Hawke responded, voice silky and smooth. A blush spread instantly across cheeks and Evelyn had a hard time adjusting to it all. It was Varric who made move first. He moved past Evelyn and down the steps over to Hawke's side. The two greeted each other with a hug before Varric then whirled around to point at the still very shocked Evelyn.

“Hawke, the Inquisitor, I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all.” 

Evelyn awkwardly raised left hand to bid hello. Hawke, however, turned away and leaned over balcony's edge. 

“You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison.” 

“T-That's not true!” Evelyn blurted out loudly and found her right hand reaching for staff. “Because of you – mages like me are--” She was cut off by the scraping noise from something overhead. Evelyn glanced up to see something coming down at her. 

A silhouette of a warrior and not just any warrior an elf at that. His sword aimed to strike true. Evelyn gasped taking a step back but knew there wasn't much she could do to counter such a blow. Fire magic was the offensive type. Nothing to really block incoming projectiles. And while there was the option to use the Mark. Evelyn had barely had time to grasp how to use it herself. She just knew she had to point her left hand at things - and hopefully, things would just fall magically into place. 

It was hard for Evelyn to imagine an assassination attempt now of all times especially when she was just finding her place in this makeshift world. But even now the world was already pushing against her – and Evelyn could only close her eyes and flee from it. A single panicked name came to mind – _**Ellana.**_

Evelyn eventually attempted to re-open eyes. She expected to find bloodied garments and the distant sounds of her new found friends dueling it out with such an unwelcome guest but instead nothing of the sort came. It was truly puzzling until after her eyes adjusted to its surroundings. Revealing darkness and yet through all of it Evelyn was able to take a steady breath knowing that she was truly safe. For Ellana was out again.  


XXX

It was incredible how time seemingly slowed down between the shift but it was all that was needed for Ellana to retaliate. As soon as the spirit regained consciousness she conjured her mana to her side with free left hand and a Wall of Ice snapped up from the ground within seconds. The wall captured her attacker in its chilling grasp and once all had come into past - there were distant shouts that rang in her ears. They were not for her though instead rather for the person now entangled within her valent efforts. 

“The Inquisitor is as dangerous as they say.” Her attacker deadpanned from icy grasp and with such words Ellana felt lips twitch into a soft smile.

“And here I thought flowers were offered on the first date.” Ellana responded as she turned to scowling Hawke. At seeing old ally's face her smile grew into a wider grin. "So much for coming alone." 

Hawke shook her head at the sight before her. 

“I assure you, Inquisitor, the feeling is mutual. All I can say is well – when it comes to _me_ – Fenris is pretty hands-on.” She joked.

“Hawke.” Fenris scowled, a light redden tint appearing on cheeks as the two females shared a momentary laugh. 

“Inquisitor, I know you must have been caught off-guard but I'd appreciate it if you forgive my partner just this once and well turn him loose.”

“Of course,” Ellana responded, flicking left hand to shatter spell, causing Fenris to fall to the floor beside her. 

Fenris glared at her so darkly that Ellana felt own chill down the spine. “I see you haven't changed a bit.” She commented.

“Oh,” Hawke breathed out, “The two of you met before? Do I need to start swinging my daggers around to make sure that you know Fenris is strictly off-limits.”

“You say that as if I would ever lower myself to find comfort in a Mage's arms Hawke.” Fenris grit out as he rejected timely outstretched left hand from Ellana to help him up. Instead, he simply used the retrieved fallen blade to help himself back onto his feet before casting it back over shoulder as he eyed Ellana cautiously. “The more of them gone the better.” 

“Really Broody this is how you're going to introduce yourself?” Varric responded in disbelief. “And here you wonder why I never invite you to go out drinking.”

“I'm just stating a fact dwarf.”

“You know Fenris, not every mage is like Danarius.” His eyes sharpened in an instant Danarius's name rolled off Ellana's tongue. The Lyrium-infused marking on his body glowed as his anger boiled over.

“What would you know of _Danarius_ abomination! Speak now before I rip the heart from very chest!” 

Ellana took a deep breath knowing she had crossed a line she hadn't meant to take and dropped staff on the ground as a signal to him that she wished to withdrawal statement.

“Fenris will you stop before you do something incredibly stupid that you'll surely regret!” Hawke snapped. “I'm pretty sure there is a logical explanation on why she knows about Danarius. Isn't that right, Varric?” She asked, her voice now dripping with venom. Varric felt a trail of sweat drip down forehead at the sudden shift of tone. 

“I'm pretty sure I left that part out of my books Hawke. You were pretty clear about leaving everyone's personal life out of the script. Especially when you held a knife to my neck.”

“I only held a knife to your neck Varric because you mentioned writing a sex-scene,” Hawke responded whilst groaning at the reminder. “And that's hardly appropriate don't you think?”

“What?” Varric questioned, “Are you kidding? My reader's love that kind of shit. Especially more so when it concerns the main character. Don't you see Hawke -- this is a highly requested thing.”

“Well requested or not – _it's my personal life_ – you have no business writing about it!”

“And I swear I didn't Hawke!”

_**“Enough!”**_ Fenris cut in. He pulled his broadsword from his back once more and pointed up to Ellana threateningly. “You will tell us how you know of Danarius now - _wench_!”

“Because I was a slave once too,” Ellana replied. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. “I had heard of Danarius and his closest – _pet._ ”

 _ **“I am no one's pet!”**_ He screamed and Ellana winched in response. She had forgotten how sensitive Fenris was... A mistake that was now being splashed to face as Fenris came at her in full force. 

Ellana barely dodged his swing as it cut loose her braided hair tie. Ellana found herself inwardly laughing at the sight as Fenris's blade had completely crushed the stone flooring below. His strength clearly unparalleled whenever his Lyrium-infused marks activated.

Red locks swung free as she called her mana to her once more as she took some steps back. Lighting tendrils wrapped around the right arm as a sparkling spirit blade appeared and despite this revelation Fenris still advanced forward. Honing in on Ellana as he swung his mighty broadsword down upon her. It was met with a countering blow by her right arm swinging underhand. Their two blades making an echoing clang into the air. 

_**“And I am no one's slave!”**_ She roared back at him with such furiously through his gritting teeth and murderous glowing gaze. With the loose outstretched shaky left hand she summoned a rift to his right which jerked him forcefully away and right over the side to where Varric and Hawke stood gaping like two fishes out of water. 

Her limitations still ever clear. If she had real form - real body the pull might have flung him into one of the two. Yet now it was only pulling him directly to rift rather past. Frustrating but still ever effective but clearly not enough for Fenris gave motion to attempt refooting. Slowly he did eventually raise and even attempted to slash away the person who dared to grab his shoulder. Luckily he was utterly stunned when met with a strong backhanded blow to the face. The blade falling from hands as Lyrium blue markings faded to white. 

"...Hawke." He breathed out as her met the look of his lover's scorned expression. "I...Didn't...I..."

“It's alright, I know Fenris...Just stop it would you. She's not our enemy.” Hawke bit out as she pulled him to her and into a hug. “So please don't make me repeat myself and just stand down.”

Fenris felt his eyes wander to his right to see Varric pulling Bianca of all things on him. He let out a sigh and finally relaxed into Hawke's embrace. Ellana who was on the sidelines during all of this breathed in relief allowing her own Mana to dissipate. Her sword eventually turning into hand as the sparks fizzled out.

Fenris took another deep sigh before turning back slowly to face Ellana with scowling lips. 

His gaze held no regret for his actions but there was a look of clear displeasure within his orbs.

“Forgive me. Danarius is a sore subject.”

Ellana responded with a very slow nod.

“Apologies. I did not mean to offend. I was just trying to make amends.”

“In the future Evelyn,” Varric spoke up whilst he was currently re-latching Bianca around his back. “Try being less mage-like around Broody. It will do you a favor in the long run. _Trust me._ ”

“He attacked me first though.” Ellana muttered wearily as she rubbed her throbbing noggin. “...It scared a _part_ of me.”

“I assure you Fenris isn't scary in the least bit.” Hawke commented. “A bit ticklish at best.” Fenris scowled again as Hawke reached out and touched the mark on the side of his face. “Does it hurt?”

“I'm perfectly fine.” He snipped, but surprisingly did not pull away.

“Bruised ego if anything.” Varric added laughing, earning a sneer which Varric ignored promptly. “Man, did we get off on the wrong foot or what? Takes me back to the old days in Kirkwall.”

“If only someone learned to stay at home when asked.” Hawke added laughing as she patted Fenris's cheek teasingly before she pulled the hand away and placed it on Fenris right shoulder. “Speaking of which, now who's going to look after my dear favorite Dread Wolf when I'm gone?” 

Ellana faltered at the name calling. Before she could even ask on the subject she was immediately cut off by Varric. 

“I still can't believe you named him that Hawke.” Varric noted shaking his head. “There are plenty of better names to give to a Mabari hound dog I assure you. Maybe like - you know - _Hound_ for one – considering that's what he is.” 

“Varric don't speak ill about Dread Wolf. He's a good boy. Besides, it seemed like a good name at the time.” Hawke responded as she tapped Fenris's right shoulder blade and Fenris tilted his head in confusion. “You see Inquisitor I was crushing so hard on a certain Elf and I was trying my best to get his attention! So hey you know what -- I thought well why not name my Mabari something similar? Dropping hints is one of the finest flirtations, don't you know?”

“Really Hawke?” Fenris asked, a small smile crossing his lips as Varric practically rolled over in laughter. He kept mentioning how he needed to add that bit in an upcoming book when he had the chance. Hawke however simply looked at Fenris with furrowed brows.

“Was it not obvious enough Fenris? I thought since your name defers from a wolf that The Dread Wolf would be a really good name.”

"Fenris is not even my real name Hawke." He responded and she shrugged. 

"I prefer it over Leto anyways and I know for a fact that you do too. _Fen-ris._ " Hawke drew out into his ears and he smiled again softly. Hawke was the only one who made him smile it seemed. A refreshing sight from all the previous anger.

“Just please don't mention any of this to Solas.” Ellana commented pulling their undivided attention to her. She tried to break gaze instantly. “Wolves just happened to be a sore subject for him too. Especially the Dread Wolf.”

“Whose Solas?” Hawke asked, turning gaze to Varric for answers. 

"Undoubtly an Elf." Fenris stated. "Is he not, dwarf?" 

“Oh you mean Chuckles? Yeah. He's Evelyn's Ex.”

“Yes he's my, _my,_ _**what?**_ ” Evelyn asked incredulously. "That's awful Varric - why would you say something like that?" 

“Huh? Why are you glaring at me, Boss? You're the one that cut ties with the poor guy!”

Ellana blinked a couple times at that statement. 

“That's not remotely... Why would I—Oh... _ **Evelyn.**_ ” She drew out as she connected the dots. Ellana took in a deep breath as her hands turned to white as they tightened into fists. “Where is Solas now?”  
Varric scratched the back of his head.

“I don't know, drinking like they said?”

“Drinking?” Ellana replied enormously. “But Solas can't even get –“ She cut her self off before she revealed too much. Ellana swallowed roughly. “Down at that tavern I assume?”

“Well yeah, that's what Mahanon and the others did claim which by the way Evelyn I'm not sure why you need to know the run down. Especially you know since you were there, don't you remember?" 

Ellana groaned. 

Of course, she didn't remember - she really wasn't there! 

Evelyn was and it honestly bothered Ellana that she couldn't recall it. 

In fact she couldn't recall a damn single thing. It was so frusterating! 

“Sorry to cut in but Varric," Hawke began, "Well if you don't mind me asking if the Inquisitor that is—is she like _Anders_?” Varric looked puzzled that that statement. 

“Good heavens no! The Boss is nothing of the sort Hawke! No one is crazy like _Anders crazy._ ”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that dwarf.” Fenris cut in. His eagle-eye like gaze now piercing into Ellana's crumbling mask. “This Inquisitor seems to be hiding more than she cares to let on.”

“No,” Varric argued while waving his hands around, “I know she seems weird but trust me, Evelyn is Evelyn! It's only sometimes that she does this weird shit with Solas that she becomes all elfy.”

“Elfy?” Hawke echoed, “What's that supposed to mean? And just when were you going to tell me about that?”

“I'm actually a Spirit.” Ellana confessed with a cough, interrupting the two completely. It caused Hawke to place her right hand on forehead and rub it as she mutter a silent, 'Oi.' While Varric's mouth on the other hand hung open in shock. Fenris simply rolled his eyes.

“Great another one.” Fenris commented.

“But I'm not like Justice!” She protested. “I'm not going to blow up any holy chapels to get my way! I'm not a bad spirit...At least I would like to think that I'm not.”

“I told you coming here was a waste of time Hawke.” Fenris said. “With _**mages**_ – its always bad news.”

“Now come on, she hasn't done anything to provoke us... _Well me anyway._ ” She added with a wry smile when his brow furrowed. “So um, _Miss Spirit,_ what exactly brings you to this part of town?”

“I liked you better when you were a mage Hawke.” Ellana couldn't help but say. “You were much easier to talk with back then anyway. More relatable for one.”

“Pardon? When I was a mage?” Hawke echoed. “I assure you I've never used any magic of the sort. If I did I would have had a much harder time bedding this one if that was the case - that's for _damn_ sure.”

“You managed to swoon him pretty easily actually. I assume you just have a natural charm about you.” Ellana replied seriously, “At least in my world that is...By the way, I'm not from this world.”

“Clearly.” Fenris snipped. “You spirits have nothing better to do but to invade the unwilling.”

“That's –That wasn't my intention at all, I assure you. I meant to come back in time as myself, not as someone else. Not as Evelyn.” Ellana responded weakly. “The spirit thing – was unintentional at best but now also _very useful._ ”

"Of course it is."Fenris snapped causing Ellana to swallow roughly into a stunned silence.

“If you aren't Evelyn then pray tell what is your name – or what should I call you?” Hawke questioned feeling a bit awkward. “I would think Miss Spirit is not very flattering.”

“Who cares if it's flattering or not? It's an abomination Hawke.”

“Fenris, dear, _please_...Can't you see I'm trying to make nice with the friendly spirit here...You know before it goes off and kills us all the second we turn around?” She added, laughing a bit. Fenris crossed his arms muttering about how stupid of a plan this was.

“My name is Lavellan, Ellana.” Ellana said. Earning a brow raise from Varric.

“Wait...You and Mahanon are related?”

“No, he just, took my place in this world. He's living my previous life. My family is his...So for example, while in my world, I am the sole Inquisitor.”

“But not anymore. Sounds like you have a lot of patience to be living this shit all over again.” Varric replied.

“I get that a lot.” She said a small smile finally forming on lips. 

“And here I thought all this time you were bipolar Boss. Now I know that you're just crazy like Anders. Good to know.” 

“But I'm not--”

“Yeah yeah – the so-called good Spirit of Patience. Got it, Boss.” Ellana groaned. 

This was not how she wanted this conversation to go. 

“I'm not saying I believe you but if I had wanted to – well if you truly have traveled back in time or whatever like you claim then what am I here to tell you about?”

Ellana crossed her arms. 

“Well that's an easy one. For starters your here to tell me how Corypheus has a connection to the Gray Wardens.”

“Corypheus really messed with the Warden's minds back then by getting into their heads. Turned the Gray Wardens against each other. It spelt big trouble for us back then.” Varric chimed in earning a disapproval look from Hawke.

“Varric...I'm trying to interrogate here so could you do me a favor and Please. Stop. Helping.” Varric shrugged his shoulders while Ellana smiled.

“You've also come to tell me that Shroud is investigating the Warden's disappearances as he believes there might be some corruption in the ranks. _There is._ The false Calling by Corypheus's hand...Another good reason that you didn't bring Bethany along. With her being a Warden and all.” 

Hawke laughed, shaking her head. 

“I can't believe this...If she knew all this then why am I here again Varric?” Hawke asked.

“I swear I didn't know Hawke! You know for a fact that you're the first person I'd talk to about things I deem overtly crazy.” Varric responded honestly and Hawke took a deep breath but nodded. 

“Yes, yes I know that Varric – it's just this is all so very overwhelming.”

“For all of us.” Fenris added. “I didn't think time traveling was a thing.”

“Just know that Varric didn't know – _No one really knows_. I've always been on my own.” 

Hawke threw her head back and laughed before finally looking down and back towards Ellana. Her gaze was a hard one but Ellana met it with her own steady gaze. 

“I can't believe I'm saying this but if the Wardens are being controlled by this false Calling then how exactly do we go about stopping it?”

“Well first we should probably tell Shroud as he's the one who has the closest connections to the Wardens.”

"What about _Blackwall?_ " Varric questioned. 

"Forget about Blackwall. He's not really a Warden anyway." 

"Geez just when you think you know a guy." Varric muttered. 

"Blackwall has his reasons. It's best to just leave him as he is in the meantime. So don't mention anything to him. If you do he might just bail on us and I don't want to loose him. He is a great guy just made some poor decisions....Anyhow so Hawke - are you going to head out now?" 

“Oh right – I guess I will. Shroud's waitng for me in an old smuggler's cave near Crestwood but I'm sure your already aware of that aren't you - _Ellana_?”

Ellana couldn't help but smile. “ _Right_ – you are. _Well then._ Do you mind me asking you something else?”

“You want to know more about the Red Lyrium?”

“Ah please don't do that.” Hawke responded. “I don't like the feeling that my mind is being probed even though you're not doing any sort of probing of the sort. Or are you? So I can feel a bit less sick on the matter?”

“I assure you I can't read minds, Hawke.”

“Oh goodie! One less thing to worry about!” Hawke responded wearily. 

“I just want you to know that I appreciate you sticking around Hawke. You really were the best of friends.” Ellana told her out of the blue and Hawke shrugged casually.

“Well I wouldn't go that far as to call me a friend...Corypheus was simply my responsibility. I thought I had killed him and apparently not. I'm just here to finish the job, which I'm also sure you can relate to hence why your here to begin with.”

“Yes.” Ellana replied smoothly despite the pang of guilt in her heart.

She couldn't let them know about Solas. Not yet. Not until they got to know him. If Ellana didn't give them a chance to bond then everyone would not feel any remorse about cutting ties with him if time eluded to it.

“So tell me Ellana why did Corypheus want to use Red Lyrium anyways?”

“Well given your history with Meredith you ought to know best.” Ellana responded and Hawke rubbed chin recalling how Meredith went from partial to impartial in seconds after consumption of Red Lyrium.

“Corypheus plans on making all the Templars that deranged?” Fenris questioned and Ellana nodded.

“The Red Lyrium essentially eats the Templars from the inside out as it grows. Corrupting the Templars and manipulating them into eventually becoming Behemoths – _monsters._ These Behemoths posses immense strength...Large and dangerous – barely recognizable as having once been human – you would only know from their screams alone. Agonizing at best.”

“...Well shit.” Varric said. “This just got the hell of a lot more complicated.” 

“It doesn't have to be as long as we get rid of the person who is spreading it.” Ellana retorted.

“Corypheus.” Hawke replied sharply.

“Mmh.” Ellana said. 

“Right - well I'll be going now – Fenris you stay here and keep Ellana safe.”

_“Hawke –”_

“Please Fenris – I don't want to fight you on this. Besides, I think it will be good for you. Fighting alongside a mage might make you less wary of them.”

“Nothing will ever make me less wary of them. Hawke. Not even _if_ you were a mage.” Hawke shook her head, and placed a kiss on the side of his cheek before turning to Ellana once more.

“I'm sorry. I know he can be a hard ass but I assure you, he's not all that bad -- Even pleasant at times.”

“Oh believe me,” Ellana drawled out, her own smile growing to match Hawke's own, “I know...And let me reassure you, Hawke, that nothing, and I mean no one out beats my _Vhenan_.”

“Well then it looks like your in good hands then Fenris.”

“You better stay out of harm's way Hawke.” Fenris told her while crossing his arms, “I mean it.”

 _“Me?”_ Hawke questioned pointing at herself laughing. “ _Me getting into danger?_ Sounds like an oxymoron at best.” 

“I'm not joking, Hawke. There better be no scratches.”

“I'll try to not climb any mountains then Fenris. Or trip over for the matter.” She told him as she pulled away, only to be pulled back into his arms for a quick kiss. 

Hawke couldn't help but laugh. 

“Honestly sometimes you act like I'm going to die or something. Which –,” She paused, rolling head back to glance at Ellana, “I don't right?”

Ellana swallowed roughly at the words. _“Nevermind._ Don't answer that.” Hawke quickly added. “Some things are best left unsaid.”

“Yes.” Ellana breathed out as she looked up into the deep blue skies above. Blue and not red nor green for the matter. 

Clear beautiful blue. "Yes - that is something that I can most certainly agree on Hawke." 

Somethings must _never_ come into light. 

_Falon’Din enasal enaste. My dearest friends._

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Falon’Din enasal enaste : A prayer for the dead.
> 
> (I thought to add it as a silent farewell to those Ellana has lost.)


End file.
